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With Halloween almost here, what scares you? Or do you have a phobia? Have you done or attempted anything to overcome your fear?
I have bathmophobia (fear of stairs). I have no problem at the bottom but looking down from the top is another story. Also related is escalaphobia (fear of escalators) which is even worse because it's moving stairs. I don't know where this fear came from but I read that if you have some weird fear (my mom is terrified of being buried alive), it's because that's how you died in a past life.
My top 3 are snakes, spiders, and June bugs.
I have quite a few, but the main ones are:
Heights: I'm very short, please don't lift me off the ground. I've somehow been talked into going on a zip line during an excursion in the Dominican Republic where I somehow had the lovely experience of getting STUCK on one of zip lines down. So, I had the great opportunity of having to pull myself to the "end point" by using my HANDS to glide myself with the LINE I WAS ATTACHED TO while crying and shaking... enough said. Very bad times.
Open Water: I like water, it's cool and all. I'm not going in the ocean past knee-deep (waist-deep, if I'm feeling extra spicy). I'm not exactly sure what it is I'm even scared of when it comes to open water all I know is, it's a whole lot of nope.
Bees: I'm allergic to them and there's really nothing that making me run faster and scream louder than hearing the bzzzzz bzzzzzz nearby. Yes, I am that girl. I've exited a still rolling vehicle when a bee once flew into my friends car through her window and decided to land on my seat. It was only funny to one of us, can you guess who? 😁😂
@QueenMarceline Wow! You are brave to zip line. I'[m with you about the ocean; I can't see what's in there, so I don't go into it at all.
@QueenMarceline Absolutely, especially when it ties itself around your ankles. 🙂 One day on the news I saw how close the sharks swim near the shore of the ocean in our city, and I was like, "Never again."
@Ispend2much6 Yeah... it's quite crazy how close they get. Very scary, I remember seeing that on a youtube live video too right off the coast of Cali.
@QueenMarceline If it was the zipline in the Anamuya Mountains, that's a long one... getting stuck on that one and having to pull yourself to the end would be a lot of work, even without a fear of heights. Yikes! Sorry you went through that.
Your open water fear reminded me of my fear of deep water. I'm okay in deep water if I'm on a boat. Otherwise, I worry I'll drown.
@WinglessOne It was actually a multiple zip line descent. I believe like at least 10 of them? Not sure which one it took me a while to get across and I was very high up there and it was one of the last ones I got stuck on (the cherry on top, of course) lol! Oop, I just googled it... it definitely was Anamuya mountains, the second I googled it I recognized the platform lol!
Hypodermic needles. It's amazing that I’ve been covid vaccinated and boosted, and that I’ve ever forced myself to get flu shots at all. One of the reasons I don’t donate blood is my fight or flight reaction to the needle. Last time I had blood drawn, I asked 2 nurses to hold me down first, and I wasn’t joking. Of all the needles I’ve been stabbed with, the worst are definitely biopsy needles (nearly fainted the last time) and dental needles. Which brings me to…
@WinglessOne Ooof, I struggle with a couple of these too some more than other. The main ones are heights, I'm only 5'0, 5'1 on a good day (lol) and I don't even like being lifted off the ground. And also bees, I find them super cute (for a bug, they are pretty cute, ngl) but I'm extremely allergic and have had the (mis)fortune of being stung multiple times in my life.
@QueenMarceline @WinglessOne I'm 4,9 🤣 and I HATE height....I get vertigo very easily.
@Skunk12puzzola Ugh I feel you... also being on bridges? no thanks.
@QueenMarceline I'm also 5'0". I don't have a fear of being lifted off the ground, but I don't like it when people pick me up unsolicited because dude, what the heck? That happened a lot during my college years. What is it with tall people wanting to lift short people like we're toddlers or toys? I don't randomly sweep tall people's legs to satisfy some weird "awww, it's so cute when you fall down" thing, so... geez... 😂
Ugh, sorry you're legit allergic to bees. A doctor once advised me to keep an epipen in case my slight allergy ever suddenly became anaphylactic, but I've had no need of it yet. I imagine having to jab yourself with an epipen after a bee sting is not pleasant. 😞
@WinglessOne Hahah, omg I completely agree about the tall people lifting... how annoying?!? hahhahah! I'm going to start squeezing their legs from now on.
@WinglessOne I feel you on the dentist anxiety. Haha, I told the dentist i was anxious once and they handed me one of those paper covered pillows to hold for comfort. After the cleaning I handed it back to them as a pile of ripped paper and stuffing . It was embarrassing cause it was a generally pain free cleaning, but makes me laugh now. At every appointment since I’ve been offered a script for a sedative. I guess they want to keep their pillows😏.
Aw, the good old overactive limbic system at work trying to keep you safe. like stop it brain, none of that stuff is just going to randomly happen and I don’t need a plan in case it does, but here I am with all these plans
@heartsmyface @WinglessOne I'm quite certain all this plan making is a sign of supreme intelligence. 💕 My husband tells me on a regular basis that he doesn't know how I don't drive myself crazy because I over analyze situations. Sometimes I just do it for fun and come up with a ridiculous scenario, but alot of times my confessions start with, "I wonder if..." No good comes from that!
It's tough to stop that train sometimes when you're a very intuitive person. But, it's better to give people the benefit of the doubt because there's no way to know motivations; everyone has their own mindset.
@heartsmyface No dentist or hygienist has ever offered me a pillow to hold, but I'd probably shred it too. I once considered taking a stuffed animal to the dentist to hug during the appointment, but I didn't want to risk destroying it. Glad you're offered a sedative now.
When people (especially well-meaning relatives) tell me to "calm down, [random bad stuff] won't happen," I tell them if it was really that simple I'd be cured of my anxiety disorder. 😂
@WinglessOne Mmmmm, telling your neocortex (thinking brain) to calm down when it’s your brain stem (lizard brain) that’s riled up is only going to make your neocortex think negative thoughts but now directed at those well meaning people😅
Like I know what I SHOULD do well intentioned people, and not being able to follow that seemingly (but not) simple instruction just adds fuel to the fire.
Vagus nerve reset exercises including neck stretches, eye movement exercises, ear pulling and hand massages the most helpful for me during anxiety events. I realized calling them ‘attacks’ makes me feel more…in danger. Like if I’m telling myself I’m being attacked I am going to tense up more. Besides, I’m not being attacked. My brain’s just trying it’s best to keep me safe based off what it’s witnessed (thanks random freak events on the news i should have never been exposed to) and it simply feels uncomfortable. Remove all current events except that of what’s in your living vicinity and the world would immediately feel safer cause less happens. You wouldn’t have witnessed countless car accidents on the daily for example. Maybe just one or two in your life and they wouldn’t be the most horrible ones cherry picked for views.
Off that rant and back to the current real world though-
I’ve been practicing vagus exercises (Suki Baxter on YouTube is great) everyday so they’re second nature. At the first sign of an event I’ve been trying to give myself a safe space to sit through and experience the emotion while lightly stretching out and purposefully relaxing muscles(as opposed to tensing) and trying to keep my breathing natural against the urge to breathe heavily to send signals to dear lizard brain that things are safe. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t but I’m still at the beginning of doing this and it’s bound to take time to train my lizard brain to not stay in a hyper state for longer than the 90 seconds it’s supposed to.
@heartsmyface After my snarky knee-jerk reaction 😂, I usually try to simplify things for well-meaning folks by explaining that the more I try to calm down and prevent an anxiety spiral, the more likely I'll have anxiety about trying to stop the oncoming anxiety, and the worse the spiral will be. Kinda like telling a little kid to stop crying, which makes them feel upset that you're upset because they're crying, hence they cry even more. I can either let the anxiety wash over me (while doing some grounding techniques) and roll away, or I can get totally flattened by trying to stop the anxiety train by standing on the tracks, and end up blacking out. I much prefer the former.
Vagus exercises, particularly on the ears, are sometimes good stress relievers for me. They don't really do much to rewire my brain, but sometimes they're a good way to ground myself. My ears are kinda naturally tense—whether I'm in anxiety mode or not—even though I can wiggle them (I never realized how many people can't do that until I learned some folks can't create a rumble sound in their ears). So I've tried various massage technique to relax them and my jaw. Anyway, ear massage vagus exercises can effectively take my focus off the anxiety and the irrational thoughts causing it. So do certain body stretches that aren't vagus exercises, though not always. Mental grounding is most helpful for me, paired with some type of repetitive small physical touch like massages or touching one hand's fingers to that hand's palm in a specific pattern. Eh, it's good to find the technique(s) that work best for you. 🙂
@WinglessOne I’m particularity fond of the ear rubs. I had no idea ears weren’t supposed to be firmly attached to your head before starting them.