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Post in Besides Beauty

Let it out and vent!

Hi all!


So totally random, but I wanted to vent a little and give everyone a platform to vent as well Smiley Happy I think that letting out your feelings is a healthy way to grow and move past the stuff that is bothering you, whether it is a big deal or something small that just gets under your skin.


Here are a few things bugging me this week...


1. Office politics, while I am currently free of this issue on a personal level, I see it all around me. People who use their power and/or connections to mess up other people who work hard and deserve better; it's usually out of jealousy or some insecurity. So sad that we deal with this as a adults on such an immature level.


2. Calling Kaiser customer service; I have called them about 8 times now and every time I wait about 7 minutes (to an annoying repetitive message), then they tell me to hang up and try again because the call volume is too high. I understand that customer service numbers can be notorious for sucking at the very purpose they serve, but to hang up on me every time and not give me a chance to speak to someone is upsetting. The doctor found a tiny round ball in my breast and I need to call about the cost of an ultrasound under my coverage, so I'm even more upset. I have a packed schedule so I don't have the luxury of walking into Kaiser and finding someone to help me. I guess I will have to wait another month before getting my info Smiley Sad


3. Lastly, my daily 2 hour and 15 minute commute to work. Boy I'm tired, I wake up when it's still dark and almost never get home while it's still light out. I am extremely lucky to work at a great company, with a great boss, in the heart of San Francisco...but I'm exhausted every day. My lease ends in 4 months, so this torture is temporary.


Thank you for letting me put my mess out there! I feel a lot better.


Feel free to vent your frustrations!

Re: Let it out and vent!

So, I'm currently writing a grant and a journal article in addition to my normal experiment workload. I just found out that I was volunteered to write another paper too, even though I didn't do any of the experiments for it and don't even really know what was done. "Oh, Linden can write that!" Like I don't have enough going on right now.


edit: oh yay, my boss just emailed from Germany asking me to submit an abstract for a conference later this year. The deadline is in 4 hours. Joy.

Re: Let it out and vent!

Great idea.  Thank you for the opportunity to let this out.


When I was very young, there was an adult in my life with a very strong and controlling influence over me for a short period of time who was in a caretaker role (her character not known by my parents at that time).  The verbal abuse and absolute control was a game changer in my life for me being so young.  (Note that I am not talking about any kind of physical abuse, just a mean lady. Old sourpuss.) 


So if I may address her directly (you know how they tell you sometimes to write a letter to someone that you will never send? Consider this my letter to her out into the ether....)


Mrs. O:


I don't know what happened in your life that you feel you need to take your negativity out on a seven year old girl, happy and energetic with a positive outlook on life.  I understand the positivity I exuded irritated you because such thoughts are not a part of your world, so you sought to turn me into you by making me feel inferior, and that my expressions of joy and happiness at life were to be mocked in front of my friends, to make me feel it was not okay to be me.


During that time I went from being a happy, independent child to very insecure and withdrawn.  I could not have changed my reactions, as I was just a child then.  But these insecurities lingered into adulthood, and I have fought your ghosts all of my life.  Today I am telling you that I will no longer let you turn me into you, I will not let the echos of your insults ring in my head and make me feel unworthy, that this seven year old child is again happy and exuberant and cannot hear your malicious words any longer - she is freed from your influence.  You no longer have any control.



The Seven Year Old

Re: Let it out and vent!

good for you to let it all out Smiley Happy

Re: Let it out and vent!

@knadala: I understand being frustrated about long commutes! My own is almost as long, but not quite -- and it involves a bus, train and ferry. It's very beautiful, and in that sense I'm lucky, but I really miss working in the city. I don't have Kaiser, but I've heard their CS is a nightmare. I hope you have your questions answered soon and that everything is okay. Re: Office politics…I just can't. It's crazy how you think you've escaped middle school, only to have similar issues arise in adulthood. Ridiculous. 

Re: Let it out and vent!

Thank you Smiley Happy



Re: Let it out and vent!

So just a couple days ago I decided I wanted to apply for my MBA fall semester. Applications were opened Oct 1 and due April 1. I've already missed 4 months of preparation time, and I have to take a GMAT test and a write an essay. The GMAT scores are out within 20 days of taking the test and I'm taking it on March 11 which means scores will be out March 31. ONE DAY FROM DEADLINE. MAKES ME NERVOUSSS. I didn't have any test date options since many spots are already full. Aside from that, I only have 5 weeks to study for this test when people usually take months!! Stressin' over here.


Also my boyfriend and our friend is celebrating their birthday this weekend with a dinner and somehow I got stuck planning it.  It's said to be both my boyfriend's and friend's birthday dinner but it feels more like our friend's than my boyfriend's. (My boyfriend could care less to go or not). Then my friend keeps calling me and adding people to the list so I keep having to call the restaurant to change the reservations. I understand him wanting his friends to go, but does he need all their girlfriends, brothers, etc. too? Our party is getting so large I don't even know if they can fit us in one table. What's the point of a birthday dinner if we're all split up?


Okay. Rant done. Was a little bit annoyed, whew.

Re: Let it out and vent!

That sucks, I think it wouldn't be so bad if your friend was more considerate and didn't forget the whole point of the celebration in the first place; to be together on a special occasion.

Re: Let it out and vent!

Ugh Kaiser services are TERRIBLE. I call an outside division to order medical supplies I need for a daily basis to survive and its impossible to reach a real person. You just go in a circle of voicemails. I once had to wait 2 weeks for my items when the delivery is supposed to be overnighted. Smiley Sad I hope your ultrasound goes well and all is ok!!


I can't imagine driving here to SF everyday, It takes me 45 minutes to an hour just to get from my end of the city to downtown as well- 2 hours though! 


@latinadiva I get that too "whats wrong, you look mad?" no.. i'm actually fine LOL.

@MGJM student loans are such a pain.. I'm still paying mine off it feels like its never going to leave me lol

Luv&Lipgloss, Diana

Re: Let it out and vent!

Thank you, I hope it goes well too.


I still love working in SF, especially since I work in the same building as the Benefit Cosmetics headquarters Smiley Happy



Re: Let it out and vent!

Kaiser Permanente has their sample costs and coverage lists online with pricing.  Just google Kaiser with the name of your specific plan and breast ultrasound.  Should pop right up as a pdf near the top.

Re: Let it out and vent!

Student loans.....enough said.


I hope everything with Kaiser gets better.  Sending you positive vibes.

Re: Let it out and vent!

Yeah student loans are not fun.  I have 6 figures in student loan debt so I feel your pain.  But I guess it's taught me to just live in the moment and not worry too much about the future (otherwise I would be worrying about the insurmountable debt load that will be here for quite some time, lol)

Re: Let it out and vent!

Thank you Smiley Happy

Re: Let it out and vent!

First off, prayers to you that your ultrasound comes up clean. I went through the same experience a few years ago and it is terrifying so I know your pain.


To my vent, and ironically it just came up today, I am probably the introvert of all introverts, which is why I love being on BT all the time! That being said, I posted an article from BuzzFeed called "21 Things Introverts are Tired of Hearing" on my Facebook. My friend commented with "lol #4 - I always thought you were angry" (for reference, #4 was "Why do you always look so annoyed?") I so badly wanted to be like seriously, did you even read the article?? I get so frustrated constantly having to defend myself that I'm not angry, I'm not upset, I'm not being mean, it's just me. Should I sit when I'm not in conversation with anyone and give myself a good cheesy grin?? It seems like as an introvert, people always want you to live how they think you should live. Just because you only know what it is like to be an extrovert doesn't mean I'm automatically a miserable and rude person as an introvert. And they never understand the irony that we are not angry, but when you proceed to insist that we are and push us to cheer up or tell you what is wrong, we will then become angry because you are implying that you know us better than we know ourselves. Ugh, I can't stand it. #endrant

Re: Let it out and vent!

Your vent made me think of this book I read last year called "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking." I think you'd enjoy the book. (It's out long enough that it's pretty much at most libraries.)

Re: Let it out and vent!

Oh my gosh, I need to read that!!! My Kindle is finding me that book tonight!

Re: Let it out and vent!

Yeah being told to smile or being asked why the look of annoyance is the worst.  Having to consciously be aware of my facial expressions (which is what I have to do to keep people off my case) is exhausting.  And social interaction in general is exhausting.  That's why I've found that for me, sufficient alone time is a much needed requirement in my life. 


Probably the worst experience I've had with this is when one time I was sitting with a group of about 7 people whom I really didn't know very well (an anxiety filled experience to begin with) at a fast food restaurant.  I was sitting quietly and I guess had a blank expression on my face, because out of nowhere the girl across from me snapped her fingers about an inch from my face.  For me, it was extremely embarrassing and condescending.  But I try to to embrace situations like this, because it teaches me how to best conduct myself in social situations (while also trying to remain true to myself).    

Re: Let it out and vent!

When I was in college, I had gotten into an argument with my roommate because she ditched me for her boyfriend, so I asked her to talk it out. At that time, her and another of my roommates came in and basically intervention-style told me that they ditch me constantly because I always looked like I was miserable and in a bad mood so they would rather hang out with other people. That was probably the worst it had been and I cried miserably that night. I found myself acting how girls "want you to act" after the fact (agreeing with everything they say, putting them on a pedestal, blah blah) but I felt like I was not myself....but it was only then that we got along...


In the more recent year, my entire relationship with my ex was probably the worst with a guy. The situation in college was with girls, and I've always gotten along better with guys because...guys don't need me to agree with them and put them on a pedestal. I've mentioned our situation on BT plenty of times before, clearly I annoyingly still have not gotten over it months later, but he was just as much an introvert as I was, which I thought would help that he understood my need for alone time and my shyness. Our break up was literally him pointing out every introvert quality and how it was a problem. He claimed he tried really hard to overcome those qualities in himself but I can assure you he was not a talkative, outgoing person so he was not successful despite his beliefs. He would legit break down a situation saying this is how I should have answered someones questions, this is how I should have been behaving in a social situation, which was insane. To me, he has much bigger problems that being an introvert to do that, but it has just turned me into even more of a hermit and I'm so much more conscious of what I say or how talkative I am or my facial expression, but that is also a frustrating thing to have to do...

Re: Let it out and vent!

Your college situation reminds me of a time in college when my roommate ditched me (she said she was going to find out where the party was and then she would let me know so would could both go).  But she never came back.  And she didn't even have the decency to explain why.  I like to get things out in the open, so I asked my other roommate what the deal was and all she would say was 'she wants you to find your own parties.'  


I've had people tell me I'm a downer or imply it, and I honestly can't blame them too much because I know I'm not a party person.  Unfortunately, hearing things like that sometimes reinforces it.  I can understand how you would be able to get along better with guys.  I literally have no female friends (I have before in the past, but the friendships all ended due to many different things).  Not looking for sympathy, just trying to explain how it can be difficult for introverted females to have other female friends (or friends in general).  I've been in relationships like the one you were in, and they were very problematic, because the last thing a sensitive or introverted person needs is someone who nit picks over things that are out of a person's control.  My current boyfriend, while far from perfect, is very accepting of who I am which is very important. 

Re: Let it out and vent!

Yeah, I get told I am a downer or a "grump" (my mom's favorite) constantly. My own family does it constantly, clearly by my mom's favorite term. My mom will go as far as to jokingly growl at me when she thinks I have a "mean" response with an attitude. And people constantly saying it will only make it worse. 

Re: Let it out and vent!

In addition to Quiet, The Introvert Advantage is another good book

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