Positive Vibe/ prayer request thread

[naturalooks15]

Hi All,

Don't want this to be whining or venting thread but this is pretty much the only community I am active in and really really like it so thought of posting here. 

This is for everyone to post if you like/need.

Some of you may know that I have been though toughest time of my life for last one year and every aspect of my life is hit. Looks like the ordeal is not over and now it's onto my career and in turn mental wellbeing . Without going into too much detail, my health was compromised to the point that it was life threatening, my personal life crisis beyond belief that I never thought would happen to me and crushed me. Now my career is taking a hit for various reasons plus my health/ some physical limitation causing me further stress, anxiety, having hard time concentrating.

I am doing everything I can. Fighting this very hard, trying to stay positive. I have started working out regularly because I think that will help physical as well as mental wellbeing and doing everything I can but I feel I am at a point where it's getting tiring I can use some positive thought and your prayers. 

Also, if you are someone like me where sometime I am at a loss of words and not sure what to communicate to the person but I still pray for them, that is ok too, no need to feel pressured to post anything.

Feel free to post your own requests in this thread. Again, not a pity party and definitely do everything in your control to power though but sometimes positive vibes and prayers are just the things we all could use. 

[Titian06]

Hi, @alexasteph , I didn't know you have FMS.  Good luck with your new management program.  You certainly have the right mindset!

[alexasteph]

Thanks @Titian06, yes recently diagnosed. The most severe symptom I had was pain, and since it came on pretty spontaneously and presented like FMS typical pain, we looked at it as a possibility right away and tried to rule anything else out with blood tests. No infections, no inflammation, nothing weird going on there so FMS is the conclusion! I’m just happy I’ve responded so well to the treatment I’ve been trying... and I thinks it’s because it is primarily physical with me. I’ve always been hyper-sensitive to certain stimuli, so I wasn’t overly surprised to learn that can be tied to FMS. 

[CookieGirl1]

Thanks for sharing, @alexasteph.  I'd been wondering how things were going for you!

[alexasteph]

Thanks @CookieGirl1, yeah I’ve been away for a little bit because I was visiting my parents, they just moved to a new state and I hadn’t seen their new place yet! I was really worried about the travel, but it ended up not being too much I couldn’t handle it. I started to feel a lot better at the end of my trip, so the plane ride back wasn’t an issue at all! Traveling is a huge part of my life so I’m glad I was able to get through that basically unaffected. 

[curlychiquita]

Thank for the update, @alexasteph!  It sounds like you've been proactive in your journey and that it's showing results. The supplements sound interesting (I take a few, but not these).  Good luck!

[Sunnysmom]

Do u use cbd balms or ingest stuff @curlychiquita ? Do u also suffer from Fibro stuff or issues too? Hope not , it’s a battle. 😞 🤗 ( I call them my tissue issues 😖😊). 

[curlychiquita]

@Sunnysmom, I haven't tried cbd oil.  I like an herb called he shou wu that I drink as a tea that I feel like gives me more energy.  I just have terrible insomnia. Nothing I've tried help with that but the He Shou Wu helps me drink less caffeine.

[Sunnysmom]

Ahhh that can be the worst @curlychiquita I’m sorry. The older I’ve gotten it can be an issue for me too. Hate it. I haven’t heard of that tea. Sounds Interesting. I do my good Tulsi standby teas and “This Works” oils and shower gel etc to relax plus CBD oil. And my Headspace -sometimes I fall asleep listening which seldom happens in under 30 minutes! Lol. Hope you can relax tonight! 🤗😴

[alexasteph]

@curlychiquita I’ve really liked the Olly gummies, I definitely feel like my anxiety about certain things has decreased, which of course can be tied in with FMS. The CBD seems to be the miracle product though! I’ve heard it can do amazing things but I really started to feel huge improvements after only a couple days of using it consistently. It’s a bit pricey, but if it’s truly providing this sort of relief it’s 100% worth it. 

[Sunnysmom]

Oh @alexasteph I’m so happy for you to be finding such good relief. That’s wonderful. It really is such a personal different situation for each person and I think your solutions are great in helping you. Great ideas for us all too! CBD balm ( Charlotte’s Web and Lord Jones etc) really helps me. And I believe it is a lot of mental attitude and increase of GABA , seratonin uptick etc also that benefits us plus tamping down the firing of nerves etc. Dry air definitely helps me also and keeps flares at bay. Any ideas that are natural vs drugs are ideal to me!  Keep up the positivity and I hope you continue to feel so good!! Thanks for your update to us! 🤗

[alexasteph]

@Sunnysmom I’ve been using Nature’s Ultra CBD, it’s a company Young Living just acquired and since I use their EOs for other things it made sense to try this brand. The new BF is a bit of a skeptic about it still, but he has a tight spot in his back that acts up after he’s done a lot of work, so I used some of the muscle rub on him. I asked how his back felt the next day and he says “Actually... it feels a  lot better... I’m not saying it’s the CBD though...” I’ll convert him I think! 

[Sunnysmom]

I’ll have to look it up @alexasteph ! I do think when you rub it in it can help somewhat. Does for my neck and feet! 

[Nickelliebear1]

If anyone could send some positive vibes my way, I'd be so thankful.

I don't know where to start with my sob story because I really don't want to make it a sob story.  I had a moderately traumatic childhood and have battled with mental health since I was at least eleven, so that's the last fifteen years.  Things have definitely become a little bit worse as of lately.  I had a rather traumatic experience and then I've been dealing with a lot of condescending, uninviting behavior at work which has made me feel like I'm the least valuable member of the team when in fact, I'm nearly on top.  

My arm is going to be permanently scarred now.  And I hate it.  I've never been that person.  I hate long sleeves so people keep seeing the marks and asking if I'm okay and I'm so embarrassed.  Most of my staff are dealing with mental health issues, also.  I'm the mother of the team so I baby them, a lot.  Which means that when they have a bad day, they seem to think it's appropriate to lash out at me also which in turn makes me feel even worse because I spend so much of my energy in trying to smile and remain bubbly and positive only to feel as though it's a personal attack against me.  

Or coping mechanisms.  Or your favorite self help-books.  Literally, anything.  My goal for 26 is to finally feel like things are better.

[Nickelliebear1]

I appreciate the support I received on this post.  I have a little update here, a little over a month in. 

I've started to say "no" to the staff a little more.  I had to put my foot down a few times with the staff and most of them are a little more than miffed with me for saying what I do and do not find appropriate.  I've had to tell them that while I care about them as people, it's unfair for them to put all of their burdens on my shoulders and expect me to carry those, as well as my own, while trying to run the store. 

I've only had one breakdown within the store.  My assistant manager was out of the store for nearly three weeks so that likely has something to do with it.  I have to sit down with her today to talk about my "personal development" within the store and I'm dreading it.  I haven't filled out any of my paperwork because I'd personally like to work on myself for myself, not the siren.  I've also only had one customer pull me to the side and ask me if I was okay.  I thought I was doing okay, so I asked her if I looked unwell.  I've apparently lost a drastic amount of weight... and then I realized I haven't seen her in about six months, and I've been working on developing a clean, vegan diet for the past year.  So I got to smile and tell her it was intentional. 

[Titian06]

@Nickelliebear1 - I'm sorry your going through a difficult time right now.  I've been there myself.  You will eventually get to the point where you don't notice your scars; they will become a part of who you are.  For those people who ask, just say, "I'm fine, thank you," then keep on walking, return your focus on your computer, or whatever you were doing so the other person knows it's the end of the "conversation." This is what I do when I don't want to talk about something or to a particular person.  

As for the people who unload on you, you need to, politely and professionally, tell them that they are welcome to bring their professional issues to you, but you are not their mother.  Please refrain from the pettiness.

Does your company have a mental health individual or would they be willing to bring someone in for an afternoon to allow you and your team to have some assistance?

Best wishes!

[Brutalitops]

@Nickelliebear1 Not the same thing, but in my teen years I went through a major depressive episode wherein I gained about 10lbs/month for 5 months. I get stretchmarks everywhere and I remembered how terrible I felt, because I had let this monster get out of control and now my body was ruined *forever*. These days (about 10 years later, aslo 26) I don't even think about them. They're readily visible every time I go to the beach or the gym, and I accept that this is me. These marks are nothing more than a visual representation of an event that has shaped the real me, the me that will persist no matter how many transformations my physical body undergoes. Transitions, the period where you aren't sure where you want to go or what parts of you you're ready (or proud) to truly lay claim to are always difficult.

Give yourself a year. I would personally start aggressively looking for a new job, but only you can know if that's the right choice- and each day take a break for yourself. take 10 minutes with your morning coffee or whatever before you start scrolling through social media and think of one thing you are grateful for and one thing you like about yourself, or one thing that you are good at, or one thing that you would like to learn and then set off in that direction. It always seems silly at first, but there's an article- the aggregation of marginal gains (I think) that really drives home how small improvements, like giving yourself a tiny mood booster, can have huge outcomes over the long run

If nothing else- good luck, godspeed, and may kinder winds blow your way

[prettyinpa]

@Nickelliebear1- I'm so sorry that you are having a rough time, I hope things improve real soon. I'm with @Samtian - it would be great fun to make up reasons why your arm is scarred! Nosy people don't deserve the truth, nor do they deserve a polite answer. It's your life and eff them if they don't like it. My answer would be "I got mauled by a Bengal cat or lion" (fill in your own scratchy creature). I think the lion one is best, I actually got bit by a lion cub when I was working in a zoo, so it's somewhat plausible.

[Samtian]

@Nickelliebear1 I'm sorry for what you are going through. I'm also sorry I'm not much help. My arms are scarred from my issues I've had in the past. I now wear them with pride, people look I just shrug it off or give them my try me stare. I hope you are able to come to the place in your life where you are able to cope with the issues you have now and they won't affect you anymore, soon. Next time they try to take their issues out on you, it's going to be hard I know,  but you really do have to buck up and put them in their place. Let them know how it makes you feel and that these attacks are NOT ok. Anytime anyone asks about your arm and you are not in the mood just tell them some crazy random story. I get all dramatic and tell people I was attacked by a bear or some weird story I can think of! 

[sprocketta]

Can someone send some good vibes my way?  I'm having a mental illness flare up that is involving impulsive shopping I can't afford and poor decisions.  I spent $100 at Sephora on Saturday.  I was over the moon about my purchases and posted them on the haul thread.  Then I looked at my bank account, reassessed and realized I had to return them.  I went to a different Sephora location to do so, and there was no parking.  Stupid me, with poor judgment, decided to park in a nearby lot thinking I would be in and out so fast parking there wouldn't be an issue.  They must have had a camera there.  In the 7 minutes I was gone, my car was towed.  It cost $250 to get it back.

I hate when I feel like this.  When I am sick, I obsess about certain things (especially skincare and makeup, though this is something I love, it's worse when I'm sick).  Also while ill, I will buy hundreds of dollars of beauty products I can't afford.  Sometimes it's other things, but often it's the makeup and skincare.  I feel very out of control and it will take time for a med change to help things get back to normal.  I can't believe I'm putting this on a message board.  But basically I was miserable last night and feeling awful today.

I guess...I just feel like there are people on here who will get this.  I feel absurd asking for attention.  I have of course reached out to my personal support network.  I'm just having a rough few days and need to hear something positive.

[SchylarR]

You always have me if you need someone to talk to girly. Always. 💖 @sprocketta 

[Brutalitops]

@sprocketta I totally get this. My anxiety almost always results in excess spending- especially as it relates to beauty and healthcare though I could also add clothing as a vice. 

I think it's great you have your doggo as a release/ distraction in times of distress! I have cats, but sometimes spending some cuddle time with just some music playing is all I need to take a step back and re-evaluate my situation. I don't know that you need to give up the BIC, but maybe stick to threads that don't include spending more money? The budget accountability, pan it!,  Lip/shadow/what are you wearing threads, and the workout thread are some of my favorites that all inspire me to do better and shop my stash. Definitely think about what you love most on the BIC and what you can handle, I can't say for sure what's best, but a social community you feel connected to isn't probably something you should give up with out a ready in your life.

I also think you should remember you have a lot to be proud of! You've accomplished a lot in the last few months! I know you pretty recently started a new job. I can't tell you how many people I've met who, for whatever reason, have a job going nowhere or that they don't like and they can't even bring themselves to start looking and interviewing- you did that! Starting a new job is super stressful, and it can be a trigger fora lot of mental health issues- you're doing that too! You're also making it in one of the biggest cities in America! I know that one might seem a little silly but I cannot stress enough how little I would ever want to live in Chicago- it's a lovely city but it is also expensive and difficult and I admire anyone making it work. 

I have been in this same place before- you buy something to temporarily relieve you stress, end up having to return it, get the ticket and then spiral because "why did I even bother with the return, I'd have been better off not doing anything". As an outsider- it's not that big of a deal. The financial burden sucks but if it was towed by the city you can almost always get some of your money back by protesting the ticket for basically any reason in my experience (albeit in Madison, but still).  It's also important to not that no one knows the future, you made an educated gamble and lost. It sucks, but it happens- and it doesn't reflect poorly on your decision making skills as a whole or your inherent worth as a person. Tomorrow is a new day where you can do better.