How do you do makeup when you're nb and/or fluid?

[hellishlyhuman]

tldr: I need help with my gender expression through makeup I'm having a lot of trouble with finding that happy medium of not looking too fem or too masc. To give some background, I'm an asab female. I'm unfortunately "curvy" and "busty". I hate to the point where I've been diagnosed by a professional with gender dysphoria. But, I don't want to transition into being full on male either (I've tried it and it doesn't feel right). I wish so badly that I could get sterilized and have my breasts removed, but I'm still a minor. So for right now I'm trying to make myself feel better so that I don't end it over my body. I'd rather draw attention to my face and short hairstyle rather than my disgusting body. I have a generally masculine air, sense of style, etc. so I don't know if makeup on me would be out of place. Please give me some guidance, I really don't care who you are or where you're from, just someone to relate and be help to me.

[AndreaSarah2020]

Did you try looking at Pinkest.  I have gender dysphoria too.  Just the opposite problem.  I was AMAB and I don't care for my parts or my boy body.  I am 54 and just got really serious about transitioning.  I would find the look you like then take it to Sephora preferably at a non peak time.  They have always been good to me as a pre op marginally passable trans girl.  They should be able to help you find what you need to achieve that look.  Hope this helps.  Love Andrea 

[rabbitfae]

Hey there,

I know it's been a long time since you posted this, but I was searching for advice myself and felt the need to jump on and encourage you. I am also a nonbinary curvy person and your descriptions of the pain of dysphoria and constant misgendering really resonated with me.

To be honest, I am only just beginning to explore a more masculine presentation and haven't really found my version of gender euphoria yet. I am finding, though, that experimentation, even when it's private, is its own freedom. That allowing myself to locate what makes me feel strong and good, seeking my own version of beautiful, handsome, comely, whatever, is a powerful act of reinforcement even if I never stop seeing myself as ugly and in a woman-like prison. It's like finding a ray of sunshine or a bird on the windowsill, evidence that a world outside exists even when I too often forget.

So I'll keep growing and thickening my brows, keep trying (and failing) to properly contour a sharper bone structure. I'll buy earrings like Howl Pendragon and floofy poet shirts and suspenders and keep searching until I feel like me regardless of what people call me.

I'll chip away at the marble until I find my own statue of beauty. And seeing other people try and seek and explore gives me comfort and faith. If you see this, I hope it does for you too.

I'm here if you want to talk. ❤️

[ElegantHedgehog]

@hellishlyhuman Lots of love and support (and wishes that we could offer more)! I agree with the previous suggestions of playing with eyebrow shape (and second Glossier Boybrow as a product for it). I also think you could have some fun with contouring a bit to create whatever face shape you feel expresses you best! Playing with a contour palette or bronzer around the cheekbones or jawline can really alter a perceived overall look, which can be great if you feel like people tend to read you wrong. Also, fragrance! It may not seem like much, and doesn’t directly affect a look, but finding a scent that feels right for you can do so much, even more so if it is perceived as how you want to present (and there are so many fragrances that are not specifically masculine or feminine!). Other than that, all I can say is that you are loved and wished all the best. Stay strong. You can and will make it through this and when you create your final form, you will be glorious. Honestly, considering all you’ve made it through, you already are.

[heartsmyface]

@hellishlyhuman   Aw big hugs!  I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling.

When I’m looking to create a more androgynous look...

lightly tinted or clear lip balm- to give lips a little moisture

a brow powder or gel -to straighten the brows if they’re not already (I find straight brows are both alluring and slightly masculine). Glossier boy brow is great;) 

a brown eye pencil - tightlining lashes gives your eyes definition without wearing mascara which

can look more obvious.  (tightlining is when you line only between or under the lashes to make them appear fuller.).

If you do opt for mascara a brown one will look more natural.  

a nude eyeshadow - one that blends seamlessly into the shade of your lids to clean up any redness or discolouration.  

Remember there are no hard rules when it comes to makeup.   It washes off if you’re not feeling it but can be a great therapeutic tool.  Just taking the time to apply it is an act of self love even if it’s a simple clear balm and brow gel.  

[pocketvenus]

@hellishlyhuman

As @prettyinpa says, hang in there!

Maybe try experimenting with non-binary looks that neither emphasize masculine or feminine traits?  It could be something that highlights a feature you like about your face or maybe a look that creates drama and emphasizes artistry instead of gender norms? Take your time to experiment with different looks and be as creative as you feel! The great thing about makeup is that it's super easy to wipe off and edit a look or totally start over again.

I know nb people who wear unusual colours, so blues or purples on the lips which goes against more "natural" nudes, pinks and reds for both men and women. Sparkles can be fun 🙂 I also know a couple queer ciswomen who shape their brows so that they don't curve back down at the ends but they pluck that away and continue drawing in their brows toward their temples. They look amazing, it's neither fem or masc plus it's very dramatic and draws attention to the eyes. It gives off a real "do NOT f- with me" vibe. It's a bit more of a commitment though. Anyway, those are just suggestions but the idea is, makeup is not about looking a certain way and following rules.

If you have access to the queer community, go out and see what other nb people are doing and maybe you'll get some pointers. If not, maybe try looking on IG for makeup inspiration?

Good luck ❤️

[prettyinpa]

@hellishlyhuman-  I want to encourage you to hang in there, the intervening time until you are of legal age can give you a sense of perspective on what you want your final body to look like.
I'd say maybe work with your brows to give them a fuller, more masculine shape and use a tinted balm on your lips so they don't disappear, but don't look overly feminine.