Your biggest makeup application fail — go!

[PinkEvergreen]

We’re all at different stages of our beauty journeys, but I’m pretty sure we’ve all had a moment when our vision of makeup greatness and the actual outcome didn’t quite line up 😁

My most memorable fail happened when I was about 19. I had applied very dark purple Maybelline matte eyeshadow all over my very pale eyelids. (“Transition shade? Blending? What’s that?” asks my 19-year-old self. This was the 90s, before YouTube even existed.) Bottom line: I was convinced I had totally nailed my look. 

Feeling like a boss as I hustled to my morning psych class, my chill was suddenly disrupted by a security guard who stopped me and asked, “Excuse me, is everything okay, miss? Can I be of assistance?” I gave him a puzzled look and replied, “Uhh, yah? I’m fine...?” He gave me a long, significant look, and leaned in closer. Then he pointed at my eyes and asked, “Ohh, is that makeup?” Again, totally confused, I replied, “Umm, yes?” He replied, “Oh, okay. I thought you had two black eyes. I wanted to make sure you weren’t in any danger.”

As much as I appreciated his attempt to ensure my safety, my heart felt like...

  Credit: Claudio Greco on YouTubeI can laugh about it now but the memory came back to me for years at random moments and caused me to cringe internally soooo hard 😂

Over to you guys! I can only tag 10 people in this post, so feel free to tag others so we can have more giggles together 😊

@makeitup305 @gingerleigh @NotCrocker @ChristineR07 @MissPuff @RGbrown @vivix @blackkitty2014 @NatureGirlSD @JenniferOhJenny

[PinkEvergreen]

@alexasteph That is SUCH a good point. Instagrammers don’t need to smile or speak or eat after they snap the perfect photo. Teens trying to emulate these looks need to be reminded of that. 

The very few times I tried Instagrammish looks, my face cracked within an hour — under my eyes, around my nose, or around my lips, or all three. You can pose in cement makeup but you can’t live in it particularly well 😏

[ChristineR07]

Oh, I look back on it now and laugh, but at the time it was traumatic. But I did have stage makeup down. 😄

There are still some formulas where it's so easy to go back to that level (i.e. MUFE). If they're designed for makeup artists I can still be like "Oh, yes, let's get ready to skate." If I was more creative it would be super helpful for Halloween, but I am neither creative or artistic enough to do costume makeup.

[makeitup305]

@ChristineR07 oh no, this sounds terrible. Kids and teens are the worst. Teenage you must have been mortified. I can definitely empathize.

[MissPuff]

@PinkEvergreen Ahhhhh yes, that moment when you think your makeup is just so on point, and someone asks what's wrong with your face 🙂

I didn't experiment with makeup till college (tom boy in HS, relatively conservative/strict family) and but then I went in whole hog. The first time I ever had a full face of makeup done was at the Lorac counter in Marshall Fields in Chicago. I was in HEAVEN and promptly bought EVERYTHING the mua put on me, including the dark brown brow wax. Mind you, I didn't know how to put any of this stuff on myself, and the real kicker was that I had no brushes. Zero. And for some reason, no one impressed upon me the necessity of brushes. Long story short, trying to recreate the entire look with just my fingers? NO GO. The worst of course were the eyebrows. How, pray tell, can you put on dark brown wax pomade without a brush?! You can't, or rather, you really shouldn't. It was like two oily caterpillars trying to attack my face (and this was back when the trend was thin, super arched brows). AND I LEFT THE HOUSE! Thanks friends 🙂 

[PinkEvergreen]

@MissPuff “It was like two oily caterpillars trying to attack my face” Hahaha 🤣 Love it!

I so hear you about the brushes!! I did not own a single brush for years! All I used in the 90s/00s was the useless sponge-tipped applicator in Maybelline and CoverGirl eyeshadow quads, and the awful brushes that came with blush. Why did it never occur to me to buy even a single brush until the 10s?? 😆

[Ispend2much6]

@MissPuff  That sounds traumatic!  I'd say you've nailed the makeup application now. 🙂

[BlxckGirl]

Shoutout to that time in middle school where I grabbed an atrociously pigmented artsy of colors from Claire’s and took one finger dipped it into the yellow shade and wiped it on my eyelids 😩 my math teacher had to do a double take when she saw me smh can’t believe anybody let me walk around looking like mentally unstable clown

[PinkEvergreen]

@BlxckGirl Love it 😁 If only we had photos of these moments lol... Probably better that we don’t haha 😂

[missjr]

Mine was a function of not understanding that just because your favorite YouTube makeup guru can get away with it doesn't necessarily mean that you can--especially if you're a WOC.

Case in point: the whole "baking" trend. My complexion is dark (think Gabrielle Union). I decided to take the advice of a well-known makeup guru (another WOC) whom I still follow.  Typically, everything starts off well when she applies her foundation, which matched her skin perfectly. But then she starts to pile on the concealer, using a much lighter shade and drawing triangles from under her eyes to the midway point of her cheekbone. She uses a BeautyBlender to blend, blend, blend!  Then she "bakes" by dipping her BeautyBlender or another sponge into a yellow-based brightening powder and covering the area that she spent considerable time concealing. She then proceeds to do the rest of her makeup, which includes a heavy dose of contouring with yet another foundation and deeper shade of concealer. At some point, you do start to realize that this is WAY too much product for one face especially for a "no-makeup" look. You also realize that the makeup guru is 12 minutes into her video, and she's trying to convince you that this is a "quick" makeup look for those who don't have a lot of time to waste in the morning.  Yet, by the time she is done with her brows, eye shadow, lashes, mascara and neutral lipstick, she looks quite flawless--21 minutes later.  I mean, Miss Girl's makeup was on fleek!

So, I follow the same steps to the letter thinking I'll also achieve that "no makeup" look that took 21 minutes of time, energy and effort to achieve. Except, when I stepped outside my door into the "real world," I looked utterly ridiculous. You know that feeling you get when you know folks are trying their best not to stare, and you know why?  By the time I got to where I was going--church!--my eyes were puffy and watery and I couldn't wait to get home to wash all of that stuff off.  It turns out I was allergic to something in the yellow brightening powder that I purchased at the specifically for the purpose of "baking." Then to add insult to injury, my concealer started to move and then crease. 

So, I wasted Lord knows how much money following a trend which is best left for Instagram and YouTube and a camera with a filter. I'll just do my "baking" from now on in the oven!

[PinkEvergreen]

@missjr Don’t you love YouTube “natural” looks? The few times I tried to pull off that kind of look, my undereyes “cracked” and I looked 20 years older! 

As for your question: “You know that feeling you get when you know folks are trying their best not to stare, and you know why?” 

Yes, yes I do. I know that feeling so well that we are practically besties 😆

[missjr]

PinkEvergreen--right?!  Other than for editorial work, I could never understand why a "no makeup" look should take longer than 5-8 minutes for us mere mortals who have regular jobs to rush off to.  Professional MUA and photographer, Jordan Liberty, saved my life with his "less is more" approach.  Plus, he's an excellent teacher and takes the time to explain the basics, including why bronzers should not be used to contour.  I especially loved the way he broke down the color chart and explained how correctors work.  For instance, a little bit of pure orange corrector does wonders for my undereye area and I don't have to pile on the concealer because the orange neutralizes the bluish-gray circles under my eyes.  Again--the man is a life (and money) saver!

[Ispend2much6]

@missjr   I empathize with you.  No matter how hard I try, unless I wear a nude lip color, it seems whenever I go to a doctor's office my lip color, which looks fine in my house and in daylight, ends up becoming brash and bright and a different color, making me look like I'm smearing crayon on my lips!

[missjr]

Exactly, Ispend2much6!  I think that's why they suggest that we get a sample of a foundation, etc. and then walk around the mall or outside in natural lighting for a while to see how it looks before committing to a purchase. I'm sure we all have stories about those highlighters that look fabulous in photo that only make us appear like a glittered disco ball in broad daylight.

[WinglessOne]

@missjr To explain to some friends why I don’t apply and bake tons of concealer like a beauty infuencer, I went ahead and did it just to take photos of “see, here’s how awful it looks [on me] in daylight, normal interior lighting, and flash photography.” I should try to find those photos, because they’re frighteningly funny. 😄 

[tastelikewater]

I remember it like it was yesterday 😛

At 13 I'd already started to develop acne, which I tried to resolve by punishing my face with St. Ives scrub and Stridex pads. One day, feeling particularly self-conscious, I smeared on my mother's cream foundation (black packaging with a white sponge, I want to say CoverGirl 3-in-1), paying no mind to the fact that I'm fair and she's tan year-round. Imagine George Hamilton's face on Jack White's body...I truly had no idea what I was doing. 

Within an hour of being in school, I was in the bathroom trying to wash my face with hand soap, which went about as well as could be expected! I then conveniently came down with a "stomachache" and spent the rest of the day in the nurse's office. I don't recall touching makeup again until the end of 8th grade. Poor, misguided me!

[PinkEvergreen]

@tastelikewater George Hamilton’s face on Jack White’s body — what a mental picture 😂

Maybe I got lucky in the “mom’s makeup” department. My mom has worn makeup consisting of blush and lipstick about five times in my whole life. I didn’t have easy access to potential makeup disasters 😉

[PinkEvergreen]

Oh, and for anyone that doesn’t know who @tastelikewater is referring to, here they are:

 

  

[WinglessOne]

@tastelikewater I did something similar once with my mother’s foundation, when I was in middle school. I wanted to cover acne but didn’t yet know how different a foundation shade could look on various skin tones. And this was in the early 80s, when foundations were... less evolved. I learned a valuable lesson that day. 😄 

Also in my middle school days, Stridex (or maybe it was Oxy10) is how I discovered I’m allergic to benzoyl peroxide. Not only did it give me a terrible red rash all over my face and neck, I also broke out in hives. I was on heavy antihistamines for a week after that. Never again. 

[RGbrown]

I had done a full face one day, been out and about, and returned home. I had some new eyeshadow sticks that I hadn't played with yet, and sticks are a bit of a foreign concept to me, so since I wasn't going back out, I started dabbling. As I predicted, things got out of hand in a hurry, and I went way overboard. Bright blue, way too much of it, and I was slow to blend so the lines were hard. Didn't matter...I wasn't going anywhere. It was afternoon ish, I didn't feel like washing my face yet, so I just left it. 

I had forgotten all about it when my sis invited me to the drive in that evening. I literally scared myself when I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror at intermission...had that full on double take reaction where your heart skips a beat. Thank goodness I spent most of the night sitting in the dark where no one could see me 🤣

Can we expand to hair fails? Heck, I'll go there anyways 😋

I went to a small school, no football, no prom, no normal stuff that most schools have. The big event for seniors was Senior Banquet, which was a super fancy dinner, followed by a huge party at one of the senior's houses. I've never been very hair savvy, and neither is my mother, but she took me to some fancy hairdresser for a fancy 'do. He teased and shellacked and teased some more, then pinned it all up. It was supposed to be a French twist, but it looked more like I had a giant dead rabbit on my head...I was suddenly a full foot taller 😯 I was mortified and spent half the night doing anything I could to try and knock it down, but it was bulletproof, I tell ya. 😅

[Ispend2much6]

@RGbrown  Your descriptions are priceless!  Blending is so important, and I still forget to do it well.

[michelleshops]

Picture it, fall on the east coast.  Urban Decay had just released the Vice 3 palette with all those glorious jewel tones.  I was visiting family in New Jersey and decided to get ready there with my glorious new palette.  I start applying the green, Dragon, because it's too beautiful to resist.  I notice a speck of fallout and brush it away.  Rookie mistake.  I hadn't noticed the other million bits of fallout that I had swiped across my face.  My cheekbone is not streaked with green.  I panic and try to wipe it off harder, it spreads.  I'm slowly turning into the Wicked Witch of the West.  I surrender, wash everything off and go to dinner barefaced.  I learned my lesson that day!