makeup and the workplace

[Anonymous]

I work as a server in a country club. I wear a bit of foundation and concealer most days, and sometimes a nude lip, and no one had ever said anything until I had a light dusting of lilac on my eyes. Two of my bosses pulled me aside and first said that they weren't going to make me take it off, but then told me that I shouldn't wear it because although "we don't have a problem with it, a member might." Though I didn't get any negative reactions from members, I haven't worn it again. There are female servers that wear a bold red lip and full face every day. I just wanted to know if there are any other guys out there who have dealt with a double standard like that and what you did or didn't do about it.

[BradleyClay]

The double standard really is disappointing. I work for a corporate retailer in marketing, and sometimes have to gauge my day to day looks. I dress fairly eccentrically, and typically only wear sheer products on my face (in the work day), but if I'm feeling like a MUA that morning I'll get a little more wild (I can already tell that FENTY - Trophy Wife is going to get me in trouble 🙂 ) I say do you! Unless management explicitly forbids makeup/your looks become distracting to members, nobody really has the right to tell you how to look. Lilac on.

[Tristancole]

Omg yes! I recently went through a very similar situation. I live in Nashville and people here can sometimes be pretty conservative. I was working for a small family owned pet supply store and I was wearing a full face almost everyday to work. Mind you I just started wearing full face. Before it was just a little foundation. The owner of the company that overlooks all of the stores came up to me and bluntly said men do not wear makeup. Are you transgendered? I almost started crying. I've never felt so discriminated against. The girls could wear makeup. They gave me an ultimatum to take it off or to leave. So I decided to suck it up and stay and stop wearing a full face and go back to foundation and eyebrows. Few days later [today] I was pulled aside and was told my eyebrows look too unnatural. All I do is fill them in. I was told to remove my makeup or leave. So I decided to leave the company because I would rather be true to myself. Hope this helps! By the way...this photo was taken after I was told my eyebrows are unnatural.

[MrBuehler]

I would have let them fire me and sued for wrongful termination. Can't discriminate on such a level. Sorry to hear that you have to deal with such people 😞

[BetoValdivieso]

This is definitely a heavy post, but definitely good to start a dialog of experiences. 

Personally I have always steered away from any heavy or obvious make up at work. I used to work for a non-profit here in Chicago and wore slight natural and minimal make up. I never got any remarks, but I knew if I wanted to rock a bold lip I would no be made to feel uncomfortable. 

During University I worked as an interpreter &Translator for the public schools in Champaign (a rural area 2 hours south of Chicago) and rarely wore anything more than mattifying powder. As a Gay Latino working with school aged children, I felt I had to be very careful with anything that would "out" me, as queerness is definitely shunned by parents in the public school setting. Particularly within the Latino community, there is an attachment of homosexuality to pedophilia, and I had to make sure I didn't stand out for reasons others might perceive as "negative" or "red flags." I began working for Sephora towards my end of my senior year, and it was a kind of catalyst for a lot of artistic and gender expression that had been bottle up for years. One reason I love working with Sephora is because it did help to inspire fearlessness. It was a space where I can artistically express myself. After I graduated from University I began working at a high school back in Chicago, and while I don't necessarily wear anything heavy or a full beat, I do apply concealer or powder my face in front of my students & and staff. Granted that they know I do make up, so in a sense, it is pluralistic (in terms, I can exist and perform my gender expression BECAUSE I am seen as a make up artist and it's normal for ME to do it). But I also believe it is important for me to do it because it helps to normalize the fact that men can wear make up, and if any student wants to, they already know someone that does.

For your case, I feel to see if the ends justify the means. Is it worth the trouble and harassment that you might face in the long run? But are they dulling your shine?  Things like these also depend on the area you live in, and your safety is definitely the most important factor. Not everyone has the luxury to quit their job if they experience discrimination or prejudice behavior- especially coming from management (as power dynamics are real and can affect your livelihood). But you should know your rights, and that you have a community and network of support. That way if you want to challenge what standard they have set and any limitation they place on you for self-expression, you won't be alone. 

[beautybeard]

I can't really relate because I work for Sephora but do you boo or move on to another job. Country clubs can be a little scary because not everyone in those type of clubs love what we are and what we stand for. Just be careful and slay away! If you feel comfortable and safe enough then do what you Gotta do boo