Too rough with my skin. :(

[danibear13]

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ISSUE when I wash my face. 

Hi there, whoever is reading this, I would really like any advice, tips or help, anything i’ll appreciate. I’m speaking in regards to when I wash my face (when i’m not in the shower - aka at the sink) i’m way too rough with my face, i do my best not to be, i tried to tonight but nope, my face is currently *stinging* on my left cheek on my face, as my face is red-ish after i wash my face ONLY when i was it at the sink. i use water, a cleanser and a cloth and i have like OCD and anxiety that there’s still soap on my face, so therefore, i’m rough, too rough as i shouldn’t be and i rip my skin 😞 often my nose, like no joke i look like rudolph in a way. almost looks like i got sunburnt but i didn’t, that’s how bad i am and i want this to stop. i’ve tried to wash my face without a cloth, and it’s great but for like 5 seconds and then i get a cloth…. meaning, i feel like i’m not getting the soap/bubbles off my face (even if i am) i feel like i’m not, and that there’s residue, so i keep washing and its awful for my skin and my face. 😞 oh, paranoid, there you go, that’s the word. paranoid or anxious that there’s still soap on my face or even some in my hair, as i put my hair up so tight with countless amount of bobby pins. 😞 i would just like some advice or anything to help me out and for me to potentially (which would be great) wash my face with just my hands and without a cloth, and not being so rough  

thanks!! ❤️ 

[WinglessOne]

Hi @danibear13 ! I also have an anxiety disorder, so I can kinda relate on a personal level. I used to be too rough on my skin—especially my face—while washing. (Not due to OCD which I don’t have, but it was partly due to my anxiety.) Doesn’t help that all the skin on my face and body is quite reactive and inflammation-prone: my skin flushes bright red and sometimes welts up even if I just apply body lotion, unless I’m very gentle about it. 

Things I’ve done to break that habit: 

Therapy - I’m sure you’ve already considered or taken this route (assuming you were diagnosed with OCD by a doctor) but: have you talked with a mental health pro about this problem? 

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Professional therapy usually helps me work through my anxiety. Some of my worst anxiety-related habits/symptoms still persist, but they’re getting better over time. If you’ve already tried working through this via therapy with no results, consider giving it another shot if you can. Even if that means finding a different therapist. 

Stop washing at the sink; wash only in the shower/tub - You said you have this problem only at the sink. I'm also rougher on my skin when washing at the sink for some reason. Are you an AM or PM shower person? 

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I shower at night, so I wash my face during my showers. (I use the CeraVe Hydrating Cleanser Bar on my face and body.) Nighttime is when I really need to wash the day’s crud off my face, and I’ve always been much gentler on my face in the shower than over the sink. For me, the shower is much more calming/soothing than the sink. If you’re an AM shower person, consider switching to PM showers. I did that early this year (or sometime last year, I don’t recall), mostly to help with my insomnia. I though this would mess me up in the mornings—you know, that whole "but I need a morning shower to wake me up" thing—but surprisingly it hasn't. In fact, it's given me a head start on the day. 

I have combo skin that sometimes needs a quick AM wash. On those mornings, I don’t wash over the sink. This sounds silly but I bend over the tub instead. My brain now associates the tub/shower environment as soothing. Even though I just use the tub faucet instead of the shower head to wash my face in the morning, I’m still gentler on my skin than I’d be at the sink. Even if all I do in the morning is splash water on my face (no cleanser), I do it over the tub instead of the sink. 

Think of “cleanser residue” as “soft healthy skin” - In my 20s, I found this mental shift much healthier (for me, anyway) than focusing on not damaging my skin. Had my mantra been “don’t rub your face to death to remove imaginary residue; think about the damage that does,” my anxiety would skyrocket. I mean, why give myself yet another reason to worry myself literally sick, right? Instead, a mantra of “this cleanser is leaving my skin soft and healthy” is very positive and shifts my mind away from wanting to scrub away all the “residue.” 

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When I was in my 20s (I’m nearly 50 now), I hated feeling any cleanser residue on my face and body. It took me a few years to realize “squeaky clean” skin isn’t healthy and leads to dry rough patches. I also realized I was mentally exaggerating that residue feeling: my cleanser wasn’t really leaving a film behind, it was simply cleaning my skin without stripping it dry. I had to get used to the feel of healthy, soft, and hydrated skin. In the very beginning, I actually had to wipe my cheek with one finger post-wash/rinse, then inspect my finger and tell myself, "see any suds? No? Great, the cleanser's all rinsed off and your skin's soft and healthy!" 

Finding good hydrating cleansers that rinse off easily helped a lot. Which cleanser(s) do you currently use? 

Use the softest cloth possible (if at all), and use it ONLY to rinse/wipe off cleanser, not to continue washing - I see you’ve already tried using a Makeup Eraser. But I agree with @CookieGirl1 : if you’re unable to break the cloth habit, at least use a soft plush microfiber cloth. 

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I use those cloths to rinse/wipe my neck in the morning over the tub, if needed. I have to wipe as gently as possible because I’m extremely prone to roughness when using any kind of wipes (cloth or otherwise). But as long as the cloth is soaking wet, I’m comfortable with 1 or 2 very gentle passes instead of lots of vigorous rubbing. Also, instead of wiping with a microfiber cloth, you can soak it with water and then squeeze/squish it in one hand to get a true rinsing action. 

Related note: a couple years ago, I quit using makeup wipes for a few reasons. One big reason was my tendency to rub the heck outta my face with those things. Even if the makeup wipe was effective (and honestly, very few are), I'd still rub too hard. So I quit using them cold turkey. 😄 Any wipes I still own are used to remove makeup swatches from my hands and arms—though I often use cleansing balms for that instead. 

I hope you're able to find tips and advice that work for you! Remember, positive associations and reinforcements are better than negative ones. 🙂 

[danibear13]

thank you so much for your lengthy reply!!! and to answer two of your questions, no i have not been diagnosed with ocd by a doctor, i just tend to say i have ocd or anxiety, especially because anxiety runs in my family. as for showers/bath, i do them PM. thank you so much for your help!! i absolutely appreciate it so so much!!!! ❤️ 

[CookieGirl1]

@danibear13 if you're pretty adamant that you WANT to use a cloth (or feel as though you need to use one), have you tried something softer, like a microfiber The Original MakeUp Eraser The Original MakeUp Eraser® Makeup Remover Cloth Pink?

[danibear13]

Yes i’ve tried it before, long time ago, i can’t even remember but i know i’ve tried it before. Thank you so much for your help! @CookieGirl1 

[danibear13]

Thank you so so so much @CookieGirl1 I totally appreciate it !!!