Teen Makeup

[honey2018]

Hi! This is actually my daughter’s account, but I have a question regarding her. She is 14 and very interested in makeup. Although none of her friends really wear that much, she loves putting it on and is very adamant about “not leaving the house without it until her skin clears up”. However, I’ve never worn a lot of makeup, and I really don’t want her wearing that much. She is allowed to wear primer, BB cream, concealer, highlight, and lip stick/gloss. She also curls her lashes and wears clear mascara. However she wants to wear a more full-coverage foundation, blush, and regular mascara. I’m against this. I think the amount of makeup girls are wearing these days is ridiculous and looks fake. Plus, it’s bad for her skin, and she feels so self-conscious about her pimples. Even though I’m saying no, I still go in her room and find all the products that she simply bought on her own and hides in her room. She goes on and on about how her friend's moms love makeup and let it be their decision and get bonding makeovers and shop together for makeup, but anything makeup-related with my daughter just stresses me out. The whole girly mom-daughter experience has never been fun for me. I don’t want to fight with her, but I don’t think the look she’s asking for is inappropriate. Should a 14-year-old wear mascara and foundation? I just think it looks unnatural. Note: We are very about being healthy in our family, and if she buys any products I want them to have natural ingredients. So she buys a lot of brands like Bare Minerals, Tarte, and Too Faced.

[greeneyedgirl107]

@honey2018 I think a compromise may be in order.  For example, maybe allow her to wear colored mascara instead of the foundation.  Or, a full face of makeup when she is out with her friends instead of at school.  If the two of you work together, I think you can both be happy.

Plus, just as she is expanding her horizons with makeup, you may need to edge out of your comfort zone.   You wrote that you aren't comfortable with the "girly" experience...however, your daughter shouldn't be denied that exploration if it's something she's interested in.

You can also encourage her to play with makeup at home so that she builds her skills - sometimes makeup looks garish at first, but then looks more natural/mom-approved with practice over time.  I think foundation can look age-appropriate if worn the right way.

As for the acne, I do agree that it's wise to address skincare.  But makeup and skincare don't have to be mutually exclusive.

I wish you both the best 🙂  Good luck!

[Brutalitops]

@honey2018I think makeup is a difficult topic because of its (occasionally toxic) connections with maturity, sexualization, "true beauty", women's worth, etc. and the fact that its use ranges from the practical to the artistic. Obviously there's so many different perspectives and none of them are wrong, per se, but I think where it gets problematic in my opinion is when makeup is seen as some "cure" to flaws you perceive in yourself/ like you need to change the way that you are.

I think it's a touch worrisome that your daughter feels she needs it to look presentable in the world, but frankly that's not abnormal for a 14YO. I certainly had stuff like this, not makeup- but clothes and hair for sure, that I was hyper sensitive about and I grew out of it. It's just part of adolescence. If I were in your shoes I would maybe stress that investing equal time, money, and energy into skincare is at least as important if she isn't already as skincare will serve her her whole life.

I think best practice is to view makeup as a hobby- like cooking, crafts, whatever, and leave the social baggage behind, or at least on the backburner. Another thing that might be worth considering is; at what age would you think it was appropriate? Is 2 years (or whatever) really worth this level of discomfort and discord? Even if you don't like or feel comfortable with makeup, engaging with your daughter about what she likes, what her interests are, and her relationship with makeup may help give you more leeway in influencing what she uses and how (like the natural products bit) vs just finding out about it after the fact.

[Anonymous]

I say she should be allowed to. Some people are really self conscious about their appearance. For me, I don’t wear makeup to impress. I wear it because I feel like it helps cover my acne, so I don’t have to stress about how it looks throughout the day. The only problem is, some foundations and makeup will clog your pores, giving you more acne.

[Anonymous]

As a teen with acne, I can say that makeup really helps with confidence when it comes to how your skin looks. I personally would help her with clearing her skin before focusing on makeup options. I would recommend letting her use what you’ve been letting her use, but allowing her to use a full coverage concealer. This really helps with confidence and makes you feel a lot better about yourself. Allowing her to use alengthening mascara instead of a volumizing mascara, as these look a lot more natural. A light coverage foundation looks more natural as well. I think, especially if she’s going into high school, letting her use a bit more makeup isn’t too unreasonable.

[VRoss1973]

This is great for acne. Have you considered the playbook it has products she could tryout.

[Isamarj2]

Omg!!! That soap is a miracle, NO JOKES!!! My husband used to have bad acne problems mostly in his chin and forehead... and this African soap is the best for ALL SKIN TYPES plus he uses the aveno clear complexion with SALICYLIC ACID which fights acne. I only used the African soap and my skin is combination/oily ... I don’t try any other face wash for daily use because I’m 7 months pregnant and I look for natural products that don’t hurt my unborn baby.

[gonerogue]

Hi there @honey2018! I resonate with this in so many ways. My mother didn’t let me use anything growing up and I went through the same thing with my teen when she was that age as well. To answer your question, I don’t think a teen that age should be wearing a full face of makeup so I’m going to tell you what we did problem solve this issue when it arose in my family. We allowed her to wear mascara and gloss at the time as we felt the whole full coverage look was inappropriate for someone that age. She, too, had lots of acne so we made her realize the importance of skincare before makeup to make her self esteem rise without trying to simply cover up the “issue”. Once her skin cleared up and she turned 16, we let her start using light foundations and let her start experimenting with more products like blush and highlight. I think it’s important to help her realize that skincare should be just as- if not more- important than makeup because a clear, clean complexion goes a long way! My teen would also buy makeup on her own and *try to* hide it from us so we just made compromises with her to not make her feel like we were being unfair.

[TrysBeautyItems]

Mario Badescu's drying cream, can be used as a concealer. Just need a little bit and does have acne ingredients. Or a true acne concealer, so it's not just heavy makeup.

She shouldn't be wearing full makeup daily, if not removing properly it will just make her skin worse. Sounds like she's in the hype of marketing and friends without completely understanding. Maybe start with a dermatologist, talking about her skin and how to care for it from a professional may have more of an impact. Repeating no won't help, she will tune it out. Go about it another way, i.e  pros/cons, if you do this you can wear x on this day, only for this occasion you can wear x y z. Ask her to explain why she wants all this makeup beyond acne and not just what she hears from others.

@honey2018

[beachplease1107]

I’m not a mom but if your girl is self conscious get her a full coverage concealer and tell her to just cover her pimples and blend it in. Also tell her to keep up with her skincare routine!