Going back to work after a baby

[ather]

Ok so my year mat leave is almost up. Does anyone have suggestions how to deal with going back to work? 

[ShortErica]

What specifics can we help you figure out @ather? Is it the timing of getting yourself and baby ready in the morning? Or is it more getting back into work mode?

Like @SportyGirly125  and @EyebrowObsesse, I pumped at work. I did it during my lunch as well as on my drive to and from the office. That helped me feel productive and multi-task so once I was home/office, I stored the milk I pumped then was able to get on with whatever needed to be done at home/office.

I want to add I'm jealous you've had a year. Like @EyebrowObsesse I was back after a bit over 12 weeks. The end of my maternity leave was near Christmas/New Year so I went back after the 1st. Hope you've had a wonderful first year with your baby. 🙂

[ather]

@ShortErica I’m worried about getting situated in the morning and I am nervous about not getting to spend much time with him. And leaving him with strangers and stuff like that. I feel like when I go back to work I won’t be able to concentrate on work and I will be worried about him the whole time. Wow 12 weeks isn’t that long. We are really lucky in Canada to get a year. They actually rolled out 5 weeks for fathers that started this year too. But we missed out on that. 

[SportyGirly125]

@ather wow a year is great and 5 months for Fathers are even better. 

[ather]

@SportyGirly125  Mothers can take 1 year and the fathers can now take 5 weeks or you can split it. We missed the fathers 5 weeks by a few months but my husbands job let him be off for a little bit since my son was in the hospital for a bit when he was born. But it’s really nice to give 5 weeks to the fathers because unless you have vacation they can’t really take the time off. 

[SportyGirly125]

@ather my husband only took 2 weeks off and then my Mom helped me for a month and had to take time off work. After that I was by myself. My Dad and Mom would bring me food once in a while but I really just wanted to be out of the house.  

I stayed in the hospital longer since I had an emergency c section and my son ended up having jaundice. 

I was so so unprepared with my son. I packed my bag a week before my due date and worked the day before labor. This time around I think I will be more prepared and not freak out over every little thing. 

[ather]

@SportyGirly125  It’s so crazy how many different things you would do. It’s so nice your husband was able to take time off and that your family was close to be able to help!! I wish my family was close because it was hard being all alone. 

I didn't have a bag packed at all. And my water broke when I was out for supper but I didn’t think that’s what happened. So it took my husband a few hours to convince me to go get checked. I finally went to the hospital with no bag. Luckily they sent me home since I wasn’t in labour yet. But I was not even close to prepared. If we had any more I would definitely do things different. I worked out right until my water broke too. Everyone says it will make your labour short but it didn’t help me. 

[ShortErica]

@ather I so wish we had a year. And although I'm jealous, I am also so happy that some people have it. I am lucky that my husband is staying home with our twins so I didn't worry about the stranger aspect. Financially it didn't make sense for him to work and then have to pay practically the same for childcare. Does the childcare you plan to use have photos/videos they could send you like @SportyGirly125 mentioned? I think when I started back I learned to appreciate the time I was home better and be annoyed less by babies being babies. Though now that I've been back for a while, I can be home for an hour and I can lose my patience quickly. I guess that's toddlers testing their boundaries though.

[ather]

@ShortErica  We found a day home that will take him and I’m pretty sure she does a weekly report. But I need to double check that. My husband is French so we chose a French day home so my son can learn French better since we speak English at home. The downside to that is all the paper work and all the information she sent us is in French and I don’t speak or read it. 

[ShortErica]

That's so amazing. Both my husband and I only speak English but giving your child the means to be bilingual is a great gift. I guess that means your husband is in charge of paperwork @ather. I know it won't be the same as being with your baby all day but you will make it work. And you can always reach out on BIC. There are a lot of strong mamas in this community - including you! I have a digital picture frame that cycles through photos. That could be a nice touch when you go back that helps you smile at work and make the day go a little faster.

[ather]

@ShortErica  That’s an awesome idea! I will have to get one for sure. And there’s so many good mamas here!

[EyebrowObsesse]

My pieces of advice:

- Wake up early to get yourself squared away so you can focus on baby when he/she gets up. 

- As much as you can do night before - do it

- Set alarms at work - I went back at 12 weeks for my first two and was pumping. I set meetings during the times I knew I needed to pump so no one could schedule me. I'll do it again with 3. I also set a meeting block for 5pm when I had to leave. It's a digital age, people can reach you if they need to. Don't feel guilty.

- Don't feel guilty. This is the hardest. But don't. Whether it's guilt that you're leaving him/her, or guilt that you're leaving work, go easy on yourself!

[ather]

@EyebrowObsesse  Thanks you so much that’s great advice. I think guilt is my hardest part. I feel so guilty even leaving him to go to the gym in the evening. I have a hard time being separated from him. 

[SportyGirly125]

@ather the guilt will eventually go away. You will get use to being away. I promise. We are here for you. 

[ather]

@SportyGirly125  Thank you! It’s nice when other people understand what your going through!! 

[SportyGirly125]

@ather its not going to be easy at first because you will constantly be thinking about the baby but you will get use to it. I stayed at home for the first 4 months after my son was born and it was hard not to be around him but I put trust in the daycare.  They would send me daily reports and videos and pictures assuring me he was doing just fine. I also made sure to pump at work so my milk supply wouldn’t go down. 

[ather]

@SportyGirly125  I think that’s my biggest issue I’ve been home with him almost a year now and it’s going to be hard to be away and not there with him all day. I like that your daycare sends you pictures and stuff that would make me feel way more comfortable!