My 13 year old son

[RandiLynnH]

My son is 13 and dealing with all that comes with being a teenager and a gay teenager. It's so heartbreaking at times what he has to deal with but he is so strong, brave & confident & I am so proud. Lately he is obsessed with Jeffree Star and James Charles and wants to experiment with make up. I'm torn because first of all he is only 13 and if he was a female I wouldn't want him to wear much make up and would insist on a very natural look. But I'm also scared for him. He faces so much already & Im afraid it will get worse if he wears make up to school. I fully support him & I want to help him with this new interest but also want toprotect him, even if it's only a little. i don't know what to do, please Help. any advice is appreciated!!

[max14572]

As a gay teenager too I understand the struggle and I love makeup too and I have some tips to prevent it to look unnatural

1)choose a skin tint not a foundation skin tint are sheer and breathable they correct blemish and act like a foundation just choose the right shade and undertone 

2) set it with a translucent setting powder or a pressed powderchoose one with or no coverage that is up to you

3)choose a brown mascara like Lancôme Hypnôse Volumizing Mascara Brown black mascara look harsh and is better for smokey eyeshadow

4)just brown eyeshadow as a powder liner to Lengthen the eye and always shimmer eyeshadow on the corner to add dimensions

5) set like there is no tomorrow school is the perfect place to make a full face of make up melt so St with Urban Decay All Nighter Ultra Matte Makeup Setting Spray 4.0 fl oz/ 118 ml or any all nighter setting spray from urban decay I know these are pricey but they never melt

5)be confident people who tell you you're ugly are wrong you are better if it hurts it's because you have high emotional intelligence be proud of who you are also you're gonna look so good even with or without hope that helps

[Mico818]

As a gay Male who has helped raise two beautiful children I can completely understand where you are coming from as well as your child. Honestly this new generation of young gay men are really becoming comfortable expressing their true authentic selves through the form of makeup, which is becoming WAY more socially acceptable by the minute. Even though he is very young this is such a wonderful way for you to bond with your child. Knowing who you are at such a young age is so beautiful but extremely scary. Having an activity like "playing with makeup" that you can share and bond over will be so wonderful for his own personal growth. Also if you do this together with him you can take it at a slow pace (since you both are doing it together). To many young gay teenagers feel like they have to hide their true selves from their parents or family even after coming out. Play with makeup with him, let him learn that he has nothing to hide or fear when it comes to his own family. 🙂

[Anonymous]

Even as a straight girl, I think it’s important that you let him express himself and experiment with some awesome makeup! I recommend allowing him the basics as first such as; concealer, mascara, blush and maybe a lip color. Obviously do what’s best for your family 🙂 If your worried about kids at school because we all know kids can be judgmental, start with maybe mascara and a little concealer. I hope this helps and I’m wishing you two the best!!!

[dobson2]

Hi @RandiLynnH ! I was about fourteen when I realized I was gay and soon thereafter started experimenting with makeup. Kids can be horrible, and I definitely experienced negativity in school from some other kids because I am a male in makeup. I am not sure how your son is socially, but I had a tightly knit, though small, group of friends which really helped me feel comfortable, especially in the halls of school. There is safety in numbers for sure. However, that is not all necessary.

I would suggest getting your son to practice at home regularly, but also enforcing that "the natural look" is the beginning. James Charles' and Jeffree Star's work, although beautiful, is not practical for beginners.

My mom, to whom I am very thankful for now for her suggestion, urged me to tone everything down and ease into makeup slowly. In my opinion, starting out as small as possible can help ease your son into feeling more comfortable wearing makeup in public which can then build a thicker skin to those that may say mean things. That's how I went about it anyway and I am very comfortable wearing makeup in public now! Your son can build into being a more experimental makeup artist, but a small beginning can make sure he is confident in doing so!

Anyways, I'm sorry if that felt a bit like a tangent, but I hope I helped!

Also, I really must thank you for being so incredibly supportive of your son and it brings a tear to my eye to hear the love and understanding you are giving him. It's very tricky growing up as a gay teenager, and it is definitely another layer when you wear makeup, and having the support of a parent really changes things around and helps ease, in this case your son, into a happy, healthy, comfortable life. Thank you so much!

[Anonymous]

Awwww. I'm a lesbian, so I kinda get this. I'm 14 now, but I still remeber how fun it was on my first makeup shopping trip with mom. She took me to Walgreens and helped me pick a blush and lipstick. I picked out an ecotools beginner brush kit and that night had soooo much fun. Go shopping with him (may I suggest Ulta, it gives the Sephora feel without the $$$) and let hime pick up an eyeshadow palette, a bronzer, concealer, and lipstick. No need to wear it outside, but he can have fun at home. May I suggest Juvias place shadiws, theyre easy to work with, bright, and suuuper affordable. I wish your son the best. P.S. On a completely different subject, get your son some queer friends to hang with. It fills up that little hole of lonlieness.

[Anonymous]

As I started in high school when I was 16 it only got better for me and made me popular. I would start him little by little but to be fair kids these days are more accepting.

[niki172]

@RandiLynnH I don't know where you live, however larger cities have programs for LGBTQ+ youth that have resources that can help both you and your son. There are also online resources if you don't live near a big city such as The Trevor Project (Jeffree Star actually does a lot of charity with this organization). As far as makeup I'd say go with your gut. When I was that age I could play with makeup at home, but when going out it was usually a tinted lip balm only. Honesty is a great policy when it comes to teenagers. If you sit down and explain your reservations it may get you a long way especially since your concern is his safety and not stiffing his wanting to branch out. Sit down with your son and watch YouTube videos about LGBT adults and what they went thru growing up ( a lot of Drag Queens have their stories out there). It may help him understand where you are coming from. I wish you both the best and please tell him that even if he faces cruelty/adversity in life due to who he is just know it will get better and to stay true to himself. Much love to both of you 💗.

[SportyGirly125]

@RandiLynnH I hate that society has set standards and it has got to the point where kids are being bullied on a daily basis. I remember growing up and being called names all the time. I think it’s far worse now due to phones and social media. Back when I grew up there was no such things as cell phones or even computers.  Plus we could play outside without supervision. 

I say it can’t hurt to let him experiment and be who he is but at the same time being a Mom you want to protect your children at all costs.  

Then again you don’t want to shelter them because then they will do things behind your back. It’s such a tough call.  Baby steps is all I can suggest.