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Beauty Rehab

So my poor husband has been having apoplectic fits every time a package arrives for me (and these days I am getting a package more or less every day). Today he said to me, "You have a problem!"


I said, "I do not!"


He said, "Yes you do, you don't need all of this stuff!"




He said, "You need a 12 step program is what you need."


So then I started thinking about what a Beauty Rehab centre would be like. I imagine when you got there, you'd have to give up all your beauty and make up products, and they'd search you, and there'd be one or two desperate girls hiding a lipstick in their bra, a lip liner tucked into their waistbands.


And you'd have to go BARE FACED every day and you could only wash with SOAP (probably dial soap too).


And there'd probably be some sort of black market system in place, where you could maybe bribe the warden to smuggle you in some chap stick - and maybe some TINTED LIP BALM, but that'll cost you.


You have to be careful though. If somebody notices your lips looking more moisturized and colorful than usual you might get snitched on. And they'll have to rip that lip balm out of your hands while you kick and scream and consign them all to the 7th circle of heck, all the while screaming about how you don't have a problem...


What would be your idea of Beauty Rehab? Smiley Very Happy

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BTW up above when he said you did not NEED all of this stuff....your are right...WE NEED MORE>......


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Hahahahahaha!  Uhm, wait a minute... I'm in this group!!  Smiley Surprised

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I think Mr. Izzard should be a mascot, cause he has "fantastic makeup"... and guns. Smiley Wink (Extra hearts for those who remember this joke.)

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Love him!!!


It's between him and Old Gregg for me. Smiley Happy



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Oh god my father dresses up as old gregg for conventions.Old Greggs makeup is perfect.

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That screenshot's from his bit where he used to hide his makeup stash in a squirrel hole in a tree.  Perfect for rehab rebels!

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Yessssssss! I wanna buy you a drink, or maybe an eyeshadow. Hahaha. Smiley Very Happy

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A great shot indeed!!!!!!

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LOL  he looks like a make-up obsessed Gollum here…"my precioussssssss"

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Ahhh... Dressed to Kill!

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I LOVE Eddie Izzard! "Uh... do you like... bread? Gotta French loaf right here." *Bonk

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"cake or death"? lol

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"Uh, cake please."

"Well, we're out of cake! We only had three bits and we didn't expect such a rush. So what do you want?"

"Well, so my choice is 'or death’? I’ll have the chicken then, please."

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When Paris Hilton wet to jail, some fake-news show did a report on what chicks in the clink use as makeup. Kool-Aid powder with Vaseline for lipstick, Cheeto powder as eyeshadow.... So anyways, I'll meet you all there and I'll bring the Kool-Aid and Cheetos! If you wanna hit up my stash, just look for me--I'll be the one walking around pinching my cheeks for blush hahahaha


Edited to add:

Oh yay, that fake-news story was on The Soup and here's what my boyfriend Joel McHale had to say about it:



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LOVE Joel McHale and The Soup!

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Make a break for it!!! 


no need for a license and registration for speeding see excuse below!




and tell your parole officer your reason you skipped town 




and last but not least folks I tell you not to worry because...


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I was laughing out load in tears at you guys and my husband asked what was so funny. I told him about the Beauty Rehab Center and he looked at me seriously and asked, " How long do you have to stay til you're cured?"  He thought I was serious!!!!!! Like they're really is such a place!  I better watch him close. I think he's got it in for me! I've got to get a PO Box quick.

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*radio static* 

Copy that- we have a potential. Montior husband. 


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Thanks calamityjane! We can all sleep better knowing you're own guard!


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