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Beauty Rehab

So my poor husband has been having apoplectic fits every time a package arrives for me (and these days I am getting a package more or less every day). Today he said to me, "You have a problem!"

 

I said, "I do not!"

 

He said, "Yes you do, you don't need all of this stuff!"

 

I said, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I NEED THIS STUFF"

 

He said, "You need a 12 step program is what you need."

 

So then I started thinking about what a Beauty Rehab centre would be like. I imagine when you got there, you'd have to give up all your beauty and make up products, and they'd search you, and there'd be one or two desperate girls hiding a lipstick in their bra, a lip liner tucked into their waistbands.

 

And you'd have to go BARE FACED every day and you could only wash with SOAP (probably dial soap too).

 

And there'd probably be some sort of black market system in place, where you could maybe bribe the warden to smuggle you in some chap stick - and maybe some TINTED LIP BALM, but that'll cost you.

 

You have to be careful though. If somebody notices your lips looking more moisturized and colorful than usual you might get snitched on. And they'll have to rip that lip balm out of your hands while you kick and scream and consign them all to the 7th circle of heck, all the while screaming about how you don't have a problem...

 

What would be your idea of Beauty Rehab? Smiley Very Happy

Re: Beauty Rehab

LOL! In fairness my other half is a homebody too and also just sits at the computer all day. I stare at make up and he stares at video games -- my addiction is much much much worse than his though!

 

We just went out and got a pizza. Now we will sit at home on friday night and eat pizza like a couple of nerds.

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That's me and boyfriend all the time.....we play Xbox, eat pizza and then I look at makeup and he plays league of legends.  It's all good : )

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WE LIVE ON THE EDGE

 

 

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You just described my husband and I! Lol.  So much in common!

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OMG, we are so doing this right now! Except watching X-Files and I'm checking BT while he checks diner. Smiley Very Happy

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Gyros, ice cream & big bang theory for me and my hubs LOL!

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Everybody, go over to bombshell's she has gyros! Smiley Very Happy

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X Files is so much more fun than almost anything else in life.

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We are having more fun than the vast majority of people in bars right now! Lol it's more like being in a COMEDY CLUB!!

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That doesn't sound like Beauty Rehab, it sounds like a nightmare!!

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True that! You guys are hysterical!!

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Spoiledbrat will have to bring the kitty too....

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okay so I had to pull out the grumpy cat reference yes I know I went there, this top pic would be me  and Grumpy cat's reaction to what I will look like is the bottom pic!

 

 

 

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Like the bank robbers of the wild west we would hide our stash in the woods as soon as we found out they were coming for us...... Legends will be told of our treasures safely sealed air tight water safe containers. We will get ourselves through the horror thinking about our stash. Comforted that it is safely hidden.....the precious......just waiting. Then we will make our great escape to some place lovely, tropical, with no extradition, BUT where Sephora still delivers!

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I was laughing out load in tears at you guys and my husband asked what was so funny. I told him about the Beauty Rehab Center and he looked at me seriously and asked, " How long do you have to stay til you're cured?"  He thought I was serious!!!!!! Like they're really is such a place!  I better watch him close. I think he's got it in for me! I've got to get a PO Box quick.

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*radio static* 

Copy that- we have a potential. Montior husband. 

10-4

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Thanks calamityjane! We can all sleep better knowing you're own guard!

Highlighted

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Make a break for it!!! 

 

no need for a license and registration for speeding see excuse below!

 

 

and tell your parole officer your reason you skipped town 

 

 

 

and last but not least folks I tell you not to worry because...

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When Paris Hilton wet to jail, some fake-news show did a report on what chicks in the clink use as makeup. Kool-Aid powder with Vaseline for lipstick, Cheeto powder as eyeshadow.... So anyways, I'll meet you all there and I'll bring the Kool-Aid and Cheetos! If you wanna hit up my stash, just look for me--I'll be the one walking around pinching my cheeks for blush hahahaha

 

Edited to add:

Oh yay, that fake-news story was on The Soup and here's what my boyfriend Joel McHale had to say about it:

 

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LOVE Joel McHale and The Soup!

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I think Mr. Izzard should be a mascot, cause he has "fantastic makeup"... and guns. Smiley Wink (Extra hearts for those who remember this joke.)

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I LOVE Eddie Izzard! "Uh... do you like... bread? Gotta French loaf right here." *Bonk

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"cake or death"? lol

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