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Beauty Rehab

So my poor husband has been having apoplectic fits every time a package arrives for me (and these days I am getting a package more or less every day). Today he said to me, "You have a problem!"

 

I said, "I do not!"

 

He said, "Yes you do, you don't need all of this stuff!"

 

I said, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I NEED THIS STUFF"

 

He said, "You need a 12 step program is what you need."

 

So then I started thinking about what a Beauty Rehab centre would be like. I imagine when you got there, you'd have to give up all your beauty and make up products, and they'd search you, and there'd be one or two desperate girls hiding a lipstick in their bra, a lip liner tucked into their waistbands.

 

And you'd have to go BARE FACED every day and you could only wash with SOAP (probably dial soap too).

 

And there'd probably be some sort of black market system in place, where you could maybe bribe the warden to smuggle you in some chap stick - and maybe some TINTED LIP BALM, but that'll cost you.

 

You have to be careful though. If somebody notices your lips looking more moisturized and colorful than usual you might get snitched on. And they'll have to rip that lip balm out of your hands while you kick and scream and consign them all to the 7th circle of heck, all the while screaming about how you don't have a problem...

 

What would be your idea of Beauty Rehab? Smiley Very Happy

Re: Beauty Rehab

I honestly hope that never catches on. I guess one idea to turn beauty addicts off makeup is to force them to wear colors that completely clash with their complexion like puke green lipstick or nothing at all. You would prefer to be barefaced in that case because it beats the alternative.

Re: Beauty Rehab

Haha, omg like the thing parents used to do when they caught their kids smoking? Make them smoke ALL THE CIGARETTES that'll put them off forever!

 

That would be such a terrible thing. Puke green lipstick and neon pink eyeshadow! But I bet the truly desperate would still find a way to make it work! Smiley Very Happy

Re: Beauty Rehab

That sounds very intensive and something that exists somewhere... I would meet you there Smiley Happy I remember in my HS there would be surprise metal detectors and I would smuggle in my phone someway and somehow, and my friends would always call me ahead of time to warn me because they would get to school early. It sounds to me I would be smuggling in tinted lip balm, and a decent cleanser.. Smiley Very Happy

Re: Beauty Rehab

Maybe they'd have sniffer dogs like those trained to detect drugs only these ones are trained to detect fragrances...and powder...and foundation...and cleaner!

 

I'll totally organise a black market smuggling with you inside the joint!

Re: Beauty Rehab

apoplectic fits you say??? More than one package a day....mine goes nuts too when he sees the black S across the side of the box. Any other box is perfectly acceptable because he knows there is more than just stuff I hoard in them. Of course that is just a disguise because if it says drugstore, it's ok.. ...well what he doesn't know! I found it easier to ship usps so I can go pick it up and then it's not so bad..lol 

I think Beauty Junkie rehab would be similar to what you described only difference is there would be mirrors everywhere so we had to look at ourselves without products. No blow dryer, no pretty round brushes .....Tears rolling down my face, taking with  them the last traces of my beloved palettes and eyeliner- of course I wore waterproof mascara to prolong my vanity just one more day! Bye bye beautiful brows...I would be forced to procure coconut oil from the kitchen area....OMG when you arrived back home all of your makeup, perfume and stashes have all been cleared out like you just entered the twilight zone...I am dreading the day now when the box of the Precious lights sets arrives and I have to explain WHY????? I had to have them...

Re: Beauty Rehab

Have to steal Crisco from the kitchen to moisturize your feet (a la "The Help")...

 

This is all quite hysterical btw. Smiley Very Happy

 

 

Re: Beauty Rehab

I love it! Slip the cook a 20 if she'll include some sugar so I can exfoliate my lips!

Re: Beauty Rehab

Yes! He's slightly more OK with the amazon boxes but little does he know they're just filled with more lipsticks!

 

Omg no brushes sounds terrible. AND THE HAIRCUTS. Terrible haircuts for everyone! I didn't even think about the brows...maybe we'd start unravelling our own clothes to see if we could get enough threads together to raggedly thread each other's brows.

 

 

 

Re: Beauty Rehab

Lol. @ the amazon

 batman /Kevin. Listen up! We need a option at checkout for a plain box so our SO wont know! Haha. We need help.  it could be listed as gift box Smiley Wink 

 

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Re: Beauty Rehab

YESSSS I think this all the time that I need plain boxes so that only my UPS man knows my addiction and shame.

Re: Beauty Rehab

I feel like adding DONT JUDGE ME on the delivery notes.

Re: Beauty Rehab

10+ hearts for this. 

Re: Beauty Rehab

YOU GUYS ARE GENIUSES

 

Sephora needs to implement this. Somebody write to the Sephora Suggestion Box. Sephora Mods! Sephora Corporate!

 

UNMARKED BOXES. This needs to be an option we can tick at checkout! This will hide our shame!

 

 

You know, like they do with sex toys. They always send those in unmarked packaging. What? This is TMI isn't it. I'm sorry. I'll go wait in the car.

 

Re: Beauty Rehab

Oh ahaha hahahhahahha I am dying. 

Re: Beauty Rehab

That would be perfect... Just for Rouge members only... no plain boxes for just anyone... don't even ask..Just send it plain. Maybe pack it with red tape just so we know ..hehehehehe

Re: Beauty Rehab

You're hysterical!! But it'sbeyond true!!

Re: Beauty Rehab

Yes to unmarked boxes!!!!

Re: Beauty Rehab

Another yes to unmarked boxes!  I am sick of being embarrassed in front of my UPS guy!!!! 

Re: Beauty Rehab

Truth!!!!!! Lol

Re: Beauty Rehab

Oh god, I once made several separate orders all on the same day and then a few more a day after that and it ended up that they ALL got delivered on the same day. Got a knock on the door and opened it to find 8 Sephora boxes stacked up outside. I had to make several trips to get them all inside...

 

The shame. Oh the shame.

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