TLDR:
@ADawnPhelps. Allow yourself peace.
(Yes, this is easier said than done, but just like it makes you upset to see it, you're the only person that can give yourself peace).
I have hormonal, cystic acne that comes and goes. Which, I prefer to my childhood acne, because honestly, it was terrible. Papules all day, everyday. I look at my parents skin, and wondered how I ended up with this being a permanent condition, but that's how genetics goes. As an adult, I was on antibiotics for a while, which really helped, but then the dermatologist unkindly (but wisely) stopped giving me them and the acne returned. That's when I got into skincare and started wearing foundation again, and yes, I would load up on it and make the hidden thing more apparent, like you've noticed. Once I learned a little more about technique and lucked out by finding products that worked a little bit better for me, I was able to go lighter on foundation. Also, like @Titian06 , we're are usually far harsher judges than anyone else, and since the face is such a personal thing, it's like we can be hyper focused on something that is so small and no one notices, which is why I am saying to also be kind. If you aren't responding to yourself kindly, it will likely make you want to keep putting more foundation on, it's like the acne is a stimulus and you're conditioned to do this as a way to address the stimulus (I am too, btw). Technique comes in with cover-up, because concealers do technically bright light/attention to the thing you're trying to conceal. I remember in a sephora class (or video) I was told to use eye primer on a small pimple, vs concealer and just go into my normal complexion routine. I don't do this for every pimple (it's a specific spot on my face where it'll works). Most of the time, I try to apply a concealer and tap it in, then blend the rest of it to my foundation. I might apply powder separately to the spot, but that's only if there's discoloration. Because it is texture, it's likely going to show on the face, but if I take a photo, I just angle my head differently so the light doesn't pick it up.
It's trial and error to see what works for you, but I am confident you'll find something that works for you. /This ends my TEDtalk, thank you for coming
If you're curious, product wise, what currently works for me:
Hyper Skin Gentle Brightening Gel Cleanser with Mandelic Acid 5 oz / 150 mL
First Aid Beauty Facial Radiance Pads 60 Pads
Hyper Skin Brightening Dark Spot Vitamin C Serum 1 oz/ 30 mL
belif The True Cream Moisturizing Bomb 3.37 oz/ 100 mL/ belif The True Cream Aqua Bomb
Not sold at Sephora: Tula "Go Away" Acne spot treatment (this works well for me on hormonal cysts)
Mario Badescu Drying Lotion(doesn't stop acne, but helps dry up some of the ones i get if the Tula doesn't work)
Dr. Jart+ Mini Tinted Moisturizer Oil Free Natural Skin Perfector Broad Spectrum SPF 20 15 mL/ .50 fl oz(This is great for redness, like @Titian06 & @JoSometimes noted, color correcting can sometimes help, but this doesn't work well if you have a slightly different undertone. E.L.F. has other color correctors, notably a blue one, so if you've tried color correcting and didn't see improvement, make sure you're matching your undertone).
Peace Out Salicylic Acid Acne Day Dots 1 pack / 40 dots(This can be a blessing in that, what you can't touch, you won't bother. I still have a mask for work, so sometimes I will use an acne dot and just put my makeup over it. You can tell it is there if you are looking really deeply at me, but usually when I take my mask off, people are just noticing that I have a bottom half of a face moreso than an odd mark. I also wear them to the gym so sweat doesn't get on my acne, and again, no one is looking at me there either, they are usually looking at themselves)
Note:
Dr. Zenovia Skincare 5% Benzoyl Peroxide Acne Spot Treatment(This didn't work for me, but can be effective on acne)
Tools:
SEPHORA COLLECTION Vegan Makeup Remover and Cleansing Brush
Dr. Dennis Gross Skincare DRx SpectraLite™ FaceWare Pro