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Post in Best Hair Ever
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PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

my mom and me spent two hours trying to get this knot out i have severe depression so i don’t brush my hair ever or really maintain my looks anymore like doing makeup because i’ve just been depressed we usedshampoo kopari leave in conditioner maui conditioner warm olive oil from greece it was my papous he made it and it won’t come out i don’t know what to i’m literally crying i don’t want to cut it!! i went kind of crazy in 2013 and shaved my head and it’s taken so long to grow out and i am so sad please someone help

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

I don't know if this will be seen being the post is pretty dated; but I hope so. Firstly my immediate thought was, a small sense of relief. Knowing that I am not the only person who is or has dealt with this. I have Bipolar 2 disorder, which leaves me with near constant severe depression among other mental health issues like panic disorder. The toll it takes on you is immeasurable. But back to the point. My issues have caused me to careless about my own appearance. Which has caused my hair to be completely matted. It has been for 3 years. I have many times wanted to just shave it off. Because it is not just one place matted it is all over almost to my scalp. I am super reluctant to just cut it off and start over for 2 reasons. 1. I have naturally curly hair. Which makes short hair even shorter.  2. I am a Plus-Sized Girl who's been "Blessed" with round chubby cheeks, passed down through my Irish Heritage, even at my thiniest moments. So there's no short hair styles that will be flattering in any way. As a single Mom of 3 I certainly can not afford to cut it and then get extentions or anything. Needless to say this dilemma has done nothing but deepen my depression. All part of the nightmarish cycle of depression. I have become more isolated than ever because I am so embarrassed and insecure about it. I don't want to attend any public or private (Family & Friends) events. I feel so much shame it's humiliating. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions I can try? It would be extremely appreciated. 

Spoiler
 

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

making an account just for this lol but if you wanna dm me on instagram maybe i could help find a haircut you would like??

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

Hi @Lisa0922.  I've dealt w/this a few times.  The first time was when I was staying w/my crazy mother, and the stress just made me want to sleep all the time and not have the strength to deal w/anything.  It was also summer, and I had been growing my hair out to donate to locks of love, but I got so sick of it that I just put it up in a clip and left it there for a while, lol.  And when I finally went to take it down...well... 🤤 it was kind of all stuck together (made worse by summer and sweating).  I looked online and there's a lot of stuff that tells you what to do and even things to buy or use (you could even go to a salon to have them help), but basically, like a lot of things, it just takes trial and error.  You can read the things and use the things they tell you, but it can still seem like it's not gonna work...but you just have to keep going, work in small sections.  It can take hours, or even days or weeks (If you're doing it by yourself) since you have to work in small sections and your arms get tired and you get a headache from all the pulling.  Basically they tell you to start at the bottom, brush the ends and just keep going up...but I found that doesn't really work, cuz it's all in clumps that you have to pull them apart from the side before you can even be able to comb up, as they tell you to.  So it's mostly just pulling the clumps apart before you can really get in there and brush each section.  Oh, and a lot of it will break off anyway - partly cuz you just get tired and annoyed and want to just get it over with.  If you had someone else to help it would be faster, like at a salon like I mentioned.  But it might be better just to cut it off.  I've been thinking about cutting my hair for a while, since having to deal w/that a few times is the only thing that made me actually brush my hair so I don't have to deal w/that, but it gets to be a pain and I hardly go anywhere or see anyone, so whyyyyy do I need all this damn hair?  and the upkeep!?  In the winter I just wear a hat anyway.  You could also wear a wig.

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

Urs is nothing my hair was much much more matted than urs I just did hair spa in salin and my hair is so silky and nice now. I recommend u to talk to the salon

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

Where did you go. My twin sister has been severely depressed and her hair is gotten really matted and dreaded. We gave thick curly hair and I've tried to help but I can't get it out and we have reached out to multiple salons and either get no response or we get told it's gotta be cut super short. Please help me help her.

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

I cannot believe i find real people going through and living their lives just like me. One day i woke up very sick , and even more depressed.  I just couldn't seem to pull myself out of it. It only took 4-5 days before i noticed my very long hair was VERY VERY MATTED. I freaked out and laid back down in horror i felt helpless and even more embarrassed! Its been about a yr now and i had a friend try to help me a few months ago. She very quickly gave up and i locked down and saw that she was chopping into my hair with a comb you use to shed sheep. Needless to say it is ALOT WORSE. I have sense gotten alot more depressed.  I dont remember what its like to live life anymore. I am now addicted to xanax, and my family took my baby. He calls someone else mommy. And doesnt know that i exist. All because of a few bad days when i couldn't find the strength to get out of bed. If there is anybody out there that understands, or can help please contact me. I need to live again.  thank you to anyone taking their time to read this

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

Im Chris and I truly feel for you cuz I can relate!! At least to the feeling of loss and wanting to live again. You arent alone, I swear. Please let me know if you ever found a solution! ...

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

Pacience, that is what u gonna need most. With brush or a comb u will work just the way it is piece by piece. Will work. 

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

Hi my name is Jackie and I do understand you. I am an recovering addict.  First thing that u should do is to find a phychiatrist and  a therapist that works with addicts. Find a 12 steps NA or AA or CA meeting to go to. Get on your knees and pray ,asking your higher power for guidance and strength . U will be ok. Everything will get better believe me.😗

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

Hey, I would say just piece it apart with your fingers but this was from 2018..So, whatever happened with the knot? If I may ask?

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

Use a conditioner with a brush and take your time! Also lotion helps ( Weird but true0 Good luck!

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

Hi, do u know this from it happining too you? I have one almost exactly like this huge knot, and dont want to cut my hair, Please help me if u can

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

@steffypoox3 This is exactly how my hair had become 3 months ago. no strength or time and then trying to use hospital shampoo cap made it like this. After that it stayed like this for few months while I was dealing with serious health issues and in & out of hospital. Once I started to feel better & gained some strength, I just took small sections of it and finger combed (some with coconut oil somewithout) and braided the detangled portion so it doesn’t become tangled again. It took me some time & effort but I was able to detangle all of it.  

I did not have strength to sit in the shower & detangle there but I did slather on a lot of conditioner and finessed off, let the hair dried before finger combing.

This is what I personally did but I am not an expert.

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

Hi hun @steffypoox3

I'm a stylist and a former salon owner, please listen to me. 

What you are experiencing is not uncommon. Depression is a beast that takes many forms and self care is usually something that takes the back burner. 

Please google salons in your area or go to your local mall and ask to speak to the head stylist or salon owner. Generally the receptionist will not understand and may book incorrect. 

 

If you cannot go into a salon, please DO NOT WET YOUR HAIR before attempting to detangle. This is the worst thing to do. Hair shrinks when it's wet and knots get tighter which will cause severe breakage. 

Pick up some Biolage Hydrasource Detangling Solution and slather your hair in it section by section. This conditioner has a very slippery texture that will help you guide your brush through. 

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

Hi,

I saw your reply to other people's posts and had a few questions for you. I have been so severely depressed that I would get out of the shower and just put it up in a messy bun without brushing it. I have really long thick hair and now it has become so matted that it's almost at my scalp. This had made me feel even worse about myself and I have become so isolated because I am so embarrassed. I wanted ask you what I should do. I want to book a salon appointment to have it taken care of, but I am terrified they will just cut it all off! Is there a specific hair treatment I should be asking them for? I have tried to get the knots out myself, I have used oils and a ton of conditioner to try and loosen it up, but NOTHIN WORKS. Please Help! If anyone knows any salons that I can go to, or knows of a specific hair treatment that I should ask for when I book my consultation, I would greatly appreciate any advice or help someone is willing to give me.

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

I’m going through the same thing I looked and search, I have read what feels like a million and one different things.  There are people that specialize in this.  Look up tangledhairtechs.com, if you can go to them or whatever they have a product you can purchase.  I hope this helps I emailed them and they have seen it all.  YOU DONT HAVE TO CUT YOUR HAIR!  If you want to cut it that’s fine but you don’t have to cut it because it’s matted.  They are also a faith based company.  

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

Hey everyone ! I’ve seen quite a few of you reach out saying you’re also experiencing this! It is totally common and understandable. Depression is one hell of a beast and it’s easy to get overwhelmed and not know where to start. I’m a hairdresser who is trying to specialize specifically in dematting and detangling matted hair. If any of you are in the Connecticut area and need some assistance with your hair I’d be thrilled to help out !! You can find my Instagram @backedbybeauty ! Please feel free to reach out with questions concerns etc! You got this ladies ! 

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

@GG84 

Hi, I took marked note of u being a Professional Hairstylist.  

I have been going through a particular stressful trial, & though, Glory to God, I am not depressed about it, I have unfortunately neglected proper hair care for about 2 and a half to 3 weeks..and now find ONE SIDE of my head/hair..DISTRESSINGLY MATTED.  Interestingly enough, the other side of my head and hair are pretty much in tact..but the mat on the one side is EPIC.  Brushing it is doing absolutely nothing; the mat is actually hard/hardened, so it's like the brush is just useless at this point.

I have taken note of & recorded your Redken product suggestions, & I REALLY would MUCH prefer any type of possible DIY Solution.

Question, what about Coconut oil?  I do know that it has MANY uses, and I have heard from others that it has worked wonders, for many issues, including hair traumas and issues.

 

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

@womanofChrist 

WD-40 is going to help you more then Coconut Oil. No, I’m not kidding just be careful not to spray in your eyes or mouth obviously but spray into the mat/knot and work your way through it. You will need a clarifying shampoo after. 

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

@GG84 

Sorry I meant to include your username in my message 🙂

Re: PLEASE HELP MY HAIR IS SEVERLY MATTED AND ALMOST DREADED IT SEEMS

Wow WD 40..that is EXTREME. 

but so is this hair matt.

Will it not damage my hair?

What about that Biolage Hydrasource detangling conditioner u had mentioned?

Also, do u know what type of brush would be best for this EXTREME Matt? 

Thank u kindly and in advance for your reply 🙂

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