Can't style hair for basically my entire life so since it's turned into an obsession that's bad but it makes me sad!

[Jbird1999]

Due to my obsession over my hair, I've ruined it. I've boiled away more than half, cut it in a pixie myself and naturally, wish I never started screwing with it! I actually was the opposite and never gave a care about how it looked, but then about a year ago that changed. I've spent hundreds of dollars on hair products. Now I download images of styles and try to copy then. This actually has a better result, even tho I don't know what was used to style it, then me going at it alone! It makes me sad. My hair now being so central to me has not brought me any joy! I even want to be a hairstylist but yet I've got to look the part so I keep pushing it off. I know it's just hair, but I sad that I'm never happy. I really don't even know what I'm doing. This extends to makeup - it doesn't bring me happiness anymore like I thought. So I always think today I'm going to do my makeup, yet it rarely happens. Part of this is I think it's kinda ridiculous to do makeup when I'm not going anywhere special or  seeing anyone special.

[herolint]

Hello. I know this is a late reply. I sympathize with having both hair and makeup troubles. I went through the hacking phase. I had some atrocious bangs and layers for awhile. My solution was to grow it all out. My hair is now about waist length, and very easy to cut myself. So if you would like to easily style your own hair, I find the longer the easier it is. Also gives you some wiggle room to mess up a bit. As for products, all you really need is a good mask and a leave in oil or conditioner for daily moisture and shine. So, makeup. It is basically just following steps to get the best look. I never understood why slapping on some foundation didn't make my face look better until I started watching youtube videos of women doing their daily routines. Simple looks, real easy to imitate. Oh, so you need to put on moisturizer and primer first! Ah, you use concealer for blemishes! Also setting powder? Godsend. You have to find out what works best for you. Have a few go to products for your daily makeup no makeup look. Just a little makeup gives me more confidence and I feel better about being out and about.

[LHHL]

Ooof I relate to the bad hair feelings so much. I've definitely cried after lots of haircuts as well as taken matters into my own hands (that has not gone well). I think SportyGirl is right- your hair and your makeup use should bring you joy that's the most important part. And it DOES take time to learn and a year is not as long as it feels. I think you have a great idea of finding pictures of styles and trying them out! The more successful you are at practicing that way the more successful and experienced you will be when you branch out and try to create original looks. I learned to do my hair (and I am only good at a handful of styles) by watching my stylist and asking a TON of questions. It took a really long time and I still ask questions. As for makeup, I've been trying to branch out from my go-to everyday looks as well. Makeup takes a lot of practice! What I do- and maybe this is silly- but when I have some free time or a night when I'm not doing anything I'll pull out my makeup and practice! So now I have a few variations on my everyday makeup look and I've learned how to do a smoky eye and work with some brighter colors and that kind of thing. Putting on makeup knowing there's no time constraint and that I'm not going anywhere so if I mess up it's not a big deal has actually made makeup more fun for me. Maybe the same will be true for you! But in any case, I hope that your hair and makeup sadness turns into hair and makeup joy for you. Good luck. Xx. 

[treestar86]

I agree with @SportyGirly125, less is more.  I like the natural look and don't usually wear anything, though I have a bunch of makeup, mostly bc it's hard to resist pretty sparkly eyeshadows...lol. 😛  like you, I don't really have a 'reason' to wear it though, so I don't usually bother, although I keep meaning to try some on at home, just to cheer myself up..lol.  I think working with your natural features to enhance them is generally better than putting on a bunch of makeup to cover them up, but that's partly this society, and mainly the beauty industry wanting to make people feel like they need all these things so they can make money.  well it's nice to have if/when you want to use it, but I think it should be more of a special occasion thing, at least for me. 🙂

[SportyGirly125]

@Jbird1999 I say don’t force anything especially makeup, hair, beauty or anything in life for that matter especially if it doesn’t bring you joy. Do it for yourself and nobody else.

Makeup and hair takes time to learn.  So practice is key.  So don’t give up and keep trying if you want. 

[Jbird1999]

@SportyGirly125 

Yes, sounds like the perfect solution! Thank you for your advice, insight and encouragement! 🙂