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Post in Besides Beauty

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

Smiley Sad

I need help with this post, I can't get on the 'advice' section, my computer is flipping out or something. I can only get here by checking my emails and clicking on an email that I get when I've indicated 'Follow This Thread.' I also can't get anywhere to post a question of anything. I hope someone can forward this to the correct area for me, maybe my **beautytester** buddy, Thanks in advance,


Smiley Sad   - This is me.

I lost my Dad this morning. He slipped away about 4am.

I wanted to post something during the week asking for prayers for him and us, I've done so a few times before and the love I received was so indescribably healing and so helpful and heartfelt. I couldn't make the words come. (I Know....Can you believe that? *beautytester* & *lylysa* , among others, will know that's virtually impossible for me (long posters unite **lylysa** - hope spelled right, can't think right now) Wanted to keep it short & sweet but we all know That's not gonna happen! He's been so terribly ill and he used to bounce back after a hospitalization but that hasn't happened the 3 times he's been in & the 2 times he went over and should have stayed but he wouldn't. I know he's in a better place and all of that but....well...that's only a little Band-Aid on a big wound. I do have God luckily. Thank God, literally. I feel like I'm on an island. My siblings,,,,,well, it seems like some are jockeying for positions, trying to be my mothers fave, even if they have to trample others to make themselves look better by tearing down others, namely... Smiley Sad  me.

It feels like political campaigning. Thanks but no thanks, if I wanted that I'd have moved to Washington and thrown my hat into the feeding frenzy of the ring that is politics. Guess they saved me a trip  It's happening right here.

Everyone who sees all of us says 'Oh, what a wonderful family you are, it's so wonderful that you're all so close and supportive and that you'll be able to get through this together' While there have been some moments, I will definitely admit that, for the most part I feel like saying "What A Crock!" In a snapshot we look like a pretty picture, once the film starts running the film takes some sad, hurtful, and surprisingly unkind and devious plot twists.

Reminds me of an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" when the first meet she invites him to dinner and mentions that "I met your family today and they seem really nice." While her back is turned he makes a bit of a face and says, "Yeah, they SEEM really nice." That's us. Enough energy wasted there, have to try to pray it away and not allow them to affect me so painfully deeply, but I'm really struggling.

My Dad went in to the Hospital on 10/5 and his 85th b'day was 10/7, he did luckily make that and even enjoyed a B;day cupcake. He was in extreme, extensive pain and in and out and hallucinating (not cause of any good drugs they were giving him, the Meds keeping him alive were stopped Tuesday night and they started some Morphine then, but nothing before that) His heart couldn't pump enough blood and his lungs couldn't work properly to oxygenate the little blood that was circulating. He weighed less than 120 lbs and couldn't really eat or drink much. I'll spare you of a lot of the details. Some of the things he said were quite funny, although with a sting of sadness and the slow breaking of our hearts.


My Dad Was Wonderful!! Volunteer Fireman, served in the Navy and had a way of making the smallest things seem fun. He got the idea to start a "Jelly Bean Contest" at Easter when we were kids, we'd go around the neighborhood and get everybody's guesses and the closest won, usually a chocolate rabbit. New jar every year filled without our knowledge and before long we didn't have to go anywhere to get guesses, everyone came to us. I guessed it exactly one year, 333 jelly beans, my Grandmother gave me the number, so we had to pick a 2nd winner outside of the family. This went on for Years, everyone would still come and guess and when we were in our late teens-early 20's we stopped, You wouldn't believe how bummed out everyone was when they came to guess. Think we did one more, just to keep the masses happy and ween them off of The Jellybean Contest.

He'd work nights and my mom days. He'd pick me up after kindergarten (it was like 2 1/2 hours long back then, an am and a pm class) and we'd play and listen to music and dance and do all kinds of great things. Even though he'd be exhausted whenever I asked for just one more song and dance, he'd always do it. Of course 1 probably turned into 10 more....hmmmm....sensing a bit of a theme here.....the singing and dancing went on just like my post's do!!

He'd save up his coffee money and take me to The Sweet Shop where they had a soda fountain and we would split a toasted buttered roll and I'd have a Vanilla Egg Cream YUM!! which he introduced me to. Sometimes he wouldn't have enough money so he'd get hot water (he did that at work too even though he was inside and outside in the cold, but he'd be saving his dimes for me - That's a Great Dad.) The man behind the counter knew my dad and would try to give him coffee anyhow and he'd get sooo mad! He'd threaten not to come back in, and I think we didn't for a while, he wasn't mean about it though, just proud and not looking for a hand out. I think they came to an understanding, they were never mad at each other and sometimes he would allow a free coffee from time to time if he didn't have the money for it, probably because he bought me a little something with the money that would've paid for his coffee. It was all good, I worked at a restaurant during school, probably think part of the reason I enjoyed it so much was that we had a soda fountain, so it took me back there. *The fact that I had the hots for one of the guys working there had absolutely Nothing to do with it. Smiley Wink

He did go 2 months without talking to me when he noticed I got 1 ear double pierced, for real. Until my best friend who he Loved and Adored got one=that's my friend who's a bit older than me and lost her husband a couple of months ago, 3 days b4 his 55th b'day - her 50th is soon...crappy b'day-So atleast I am not an suddenly single mother after losing the love of my life and father of my young children (12 & 14) WAY too soon.


have to go, will come back in a bit with a little great ps and something weird. Thanks for listening gals.


Re: No F&F rumors abound...

Oh sweetheart! *hug*

It looks like you are able to post (another gigantic (but well justified and much needed it seems) post). If you are still having problems, let the mod know the exact problem and what browser you are using.


As for your dad, heads up, a long PM going your way soon. =)

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

So very sorry for your loss.  What amazing stories and memories of your times together.  ****hugs****

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

You wrote a wonderful post about the kind of man your father was.  I am so sorry for your loss and I hope things get better within your family.


 And you're right, he is in a better place.


John 14:3 “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

I am so sorry for your loss. My sympathies to you and your family. What great stories you shared with us. Thanks for that.  Know that your father is near you and still watching out for you.  That he loves you very much.

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

At a time like this, no words can really encompass all the things one wants to say and not sound like a cliche, so I send you hugs and prayers. Your father was clearly loving and very loved, you'll always have him with you in your heart <3

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

I am so so sorry to hear about this.  I can't imagine how painful this must be and how lost you must feel right now, and hearing about how rough things are with the rest of your family is just terrible too.  Losing a family member can often bring out the worst in other members of the family, despite what movies/tv/other people try to pretend - I'm sorry you're experiencing that as well.


I also just want to say how much I loved hearing about your father, though.  It sounds like he was a real gem and quite a character.  I think sharing memories about the people we've loved who have passed away is such a beautiful and healing way to honor them.  If it would help in any way or you feel so inclined, I think we would love to hear more of your favorite memories and stories about your father.  

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I am sending you good thoughts and you are in my prayers.

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

Your post shows so much love for your father; the greater the love, the greater the pain. My heart aches that you are experiencing this loss. Is there anyone that help bring the family together?

Wishing you peace and comfort.

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

kssweetheart - I am so sorry your father passed away!  He sounds like he was a wonderful dad and you have some great memories.  Don't let your siblings' stupidity bring you down; be the adult you are.  Remember, grief can take a few weeks or a few years, so take as long as you need; we're here for you!

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

My condolences for the loss of your father.  It's a tough one I know.  You have some beautiful memories and a wonderful accomplishment I'm sure he was proud of, was that he helped raise you.  I will keep you in my thoughts.

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

Memories are what we have to hold and we should always try to hold the ones closest that make our hearts smile.

He reads to have been an amazing man. I am glad that you had him in your life.

Take care

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

I'm so sorry for your loss. You were very lucky in that you had a wonderful relationship with your dad and that is something you will always have. Such great memories and funny stories!


Unfortunately, times like these bring out the worse in some people and if that's how your siblings are dealing with things, then just take a deep breath. shake your head and leave them to do their bickering.


My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

I'm really sorry for your father's passing away. I know there isn't much at all that we can say, much less do for you, but if you ever need to talk or have somewhere else to go just for some alone time, we're always around!


My condolences and thoughts are with you at this time. I will say that when my grandfather passed, the exact family politics happened within my family. It was most definitely not enjoyable and at times, I was stressed out enough to tell everyone to **bleep** because at a time like this, how could it be that they're thinking of such material things?


What's most important though was your relationship with your father. It sounds like it was fantastic and with all the fond memories you have, I'm sure you'll pull through this!


Remember, things can only go up! 

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

So sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

I am so sorry to hear the news. Your father was a great man, and I'm sure he's in a better place free of suffering, looking down at you and the rest of your family. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.



Re: No F&F rumors abound...

So sorry for your loss.  May these sweet memories of the special times you spent together comfort you and carry you through the difficult times.

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Your dad was a great man, and it's easy to see you love him very much.  Sending my thoughts and prayers your way.

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

Im so sorry Smiley Sad  I still have my mom and dad.. and if i ever lost either of them, i don't know what i'd do - it's all the family i have.

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

I am so sorry for your loss!! You and your family and loved ones are in my thoughts and prayers. *big hug*

Re: No F&F rumors abound...

Kssweetheart, my heart goes out to you!  I'm so sorry for your loss!  Sending you lots of prayers, love, and hugs!

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