People at my school say I'm mean ...... /////. ...... *le sigh *

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why people think I'm mean if I'm just being myself. Is it because I'm an introvert? Have darker interests? Or because I dresss in all black? It's probably that and because I'm quite the honest person, I'm not sugar-coating anything, that just being a dishonest person. I guess I'll always have to deal with it since I'm always getting made fun of.

Has something like this happened to you?

[Urbie]

People's perceptions, especially in an environment like school, can largely be based on one or two interactions.  I know that people thought I was stuck up in school, because I am extremely shy and also really socially awkward.  I now make a concerted effort to be nice to people and to try and be a little more outgoing because I don't want to be perceived as "snobby"- I still am not an extrovert, but hopefully people see me more as "quiet" these days.

So, I don't think you need to change yourself or change your behavior if it is who you are, but maybe instead of sugar coating, you can try the "tactfully not saying anything" once in a while if you can tell someone probably won't like what you have to say.  I find myself doing that allllllll the time.

[CaitlinBrunson]

I was always raised with if you get similar feedback from more than 3 people that are completely unrelated (friend groups, worlds work vs private, etc) then at least some of it might possibly be true. This isn't saying that you are mean but some of your actions might lead people to misunderstand. I have always been a very blunt and honest person. But just because you have an opinion, does not mean that you always need to say it. 

[itscarin]

Uhhh, yeah that was me in high school.  Except replace "mean" with "b*tch".  I think it's important to be open to the feedback/criticism other people have of you, because that way you can learn/grow from it.  I'm still very blunt but now at least I know I'm callous and I'm not surprised if people find me off-putting.  The upside from getting criticism like this is at least now you can be more aware of other people's feelings.  Sometimes, I bake cookies for people because I know I can't actually be nice with words so offering a nice gesture makes up for it (at least it does in my mind!).  Anyway, you'll find that some people love a really outspoken person and other people will be easily offended by the things you say.  Try to be mindful of others, and maybe just **bleep** if you don't have anything nice to say. 

[Panda168]

People fear the unknown or things/people they don't understand unfortunately.

[MikuNerd65]

I had a goth friend in High school...Never thought she was mean or anything. I even helped her get what she truly wanted like a black nail polish for her birthday, since her mother wasn't going to give it to her. I know several people who were misjudged in high school, mostly my friends. I was the invisible, shy one so hardly anyone bothered me, unless it was to speak up. In college, it's a different environment, unless your already in it. But I agree with the other person would ask why next time. 

[jammiex33]

i completely understand. Introverts are often misunderstood. 

I'm the same way and i feel like people judge me all the time.  they assume that I'm stuck up because i don't talk.. ridiculous 

honestly, you are the only one who knows your true self, and if you know that it isn't true, you should worry about what people say. next time someone says you're mean, ask them why. 

if its something where you are too bluntly honest with people, you can try holding back some mean thoughts if it will hurt people. it isn't being dishonest, its just that some people can't handle the full truth. don't lie to them, just find something positive to say without blurting out all the negatives. eventually you'll feel more positive yourself if you keep doing this and trust me, it won't affect you negatively to not say negative things.

but honestly, don't worry about the haters ~ if someone you care about says it, prove to them that they are wrong! i know it sucks, but just believe that you are a good person!