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Post in Besides Beauty
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My Life : Being Transgender

Hey everyone, 

 

So I wanted to write this post, because I wanted to open up about being Transgender. Normally I rarely discuss this because I am at a stage in my own transition where I have kept it on the down low. However I feel so comfortable sharing about my life and wish to let others in on what life is like being born the wrong gender. Some of you may actually find this informative when dealing with transgender folks in your daily life and some might not. Either way I want to do this because it makes me feel good. 

 

I was born genetically as a male, by the name of Michael. As I grew up I clearly grew up as if I was meant to be female. I never ever did anything like any other boys did and always was attracted to anything and everything feminine. I use to love to play with dolls and love to do their hair. I even wanted to grow up to be a hairdressed, unfortunately I grew out of that as I got older. At the age of 7 I had this feeling which I consider to be a ' spark ' if you will that just made me realize that I was clearly not meant to be who I was born as. I struggled growing up to fit in with others. I had gone through intense bullying from my cousins/relatives, teachers, and even classmates and others. As time passed I assumed I was gay because of my interest in men. Throughout high school I never really had a wonderful experience because people just never accepted me as being part of any groups. I had been quite isolated and alone and those who we're my friends basically we're all nice to your face and backstabbed you as much as they could. I confided in them at the time that I was gay or so I thought and of course I ended up being outed and had to deny this because of how others would feel and end up ganging up on me. At the age of 21 I realized that for such a long time I assumed that I was gay because it was the only logical feeling that could explain my intense feminine feelings. However having done research I finally realized I was Transgender. Confused, alone and unable to talk about it I bottled it up inside, and did some research on what it was and what I needed to do to correct this huge error. Having been out of high school for a year my father managed to get me a job at the hospital working in the housekeeping department which in the end was the worst choice ever made. I was terrified about transitioning because it was costly and would eventually become noticeable. However I did it anyways, from painful hours of hair removal, hormone treatments, legal name and gender change, and voice therapy I finally had come to the most crucial step. Coming out, the first stage of coming out with my parents was pretty successful at least with my mother. My father would say he'd accept me but in the end he never did stand up as my support. My father and I unfortunately don't have any relationship anymore due to him stealing from me financially and was told to leave. We still see each other just never speak anymore. Not long after his departure, I finally came out at my job and for the first while I had thought people would actually accept me. However as time passed it became my own version of hell. I have been discriminated against, called every name in the book, been sexually assaulted and basically accused of lieing about it. I've been threatened and verbally and mentally abused by many. The best part of my transition was meeting my now boyfriend and future husband. He is my rock and he is my strength and he lifts me up and I am thankful he supports me with everything. He makes me feel beautiful and he's so positive and uplifting. I've recently been approved for gender reassignment surgery and will be finally completing my surgery in Montreal and will have my man by my side, my mother supports me all the way and I am thankful to have the love, respect and care I deserve. It's been a long journey, one with many curve balls, but I stick it out and make it through all the negavitity to be here today. Although it's rough sometimes I think of what I would lose if I was gone. I'm thankful for this experience and those who genuinely care for me and support me. I wish to thank you all who do read this. Because this isn't about sympathy or pitty, this is simply about being truthful and proud to share my story with you.

 

Thank you all for your positivity, your kindness and respect. I truly wish nothing but the best for all of you :-)

 

~ Carmen ~

 

Just to all who post, I may not be able to get to thank you personally. Always remember I thank you all for your support, your love and your respect and care. I love you all for accepting me for me !. 

 

THANK YOU BT LADIES !

 

Also my boyfriend says that he is very proud to be with me and is very happy with me and that he truly thinks your all wonderful, beautiful people for being apart of my life :-)

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Thanks for sharing your story. I am very happy for you that you are happy and have a great man by your side now. I wish you all the best and good luck with your surgery Carmen Smiley Happy.

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Thank You Violalea :-). I  can't wait to finally be complete. I'm proud of what I have accomplished, and the curve balls I have had to deal with and STILL deal with today. I just want people to understand what life is like for those of us not fortunate to be born correctly. 

 

Take care :-)

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Yes you are one of the bravest people out there. We are proud to have as a member of this wonderful BT community. You take good care of yourself too. Hugs! Smiley Happy

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Viollea, that really makes me feel so thankful that there are people like you all out there that are so accepting and so very awesome !. Big hugs and thank you again. 

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

We are here for you Smiley Happy.

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Thank you !

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

It's just heartbreaking to hear what you went through in your younger years. But just amazing to hear how positive you are. 

I hope everything goes well with your surgery! 

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Hey Arielaaaaaaaa,

 

What more heartbreaking is what I have to face currently at my job. I am basically a doormat to people but that's what they think. I have yet to bring down the ' house ' if you get my drift with human rights and board of labor. You know I try to be a positive person, not so easy outside but here I feel comfortable to be me without judgement. I thank you for comment :-). 

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Just know we are always here to offer you support! Show everyone who ever treated you bad just how amazing you are. Don't let people bring you down, I know it's easier said than done, but please don't let those who are miserable spread their negativity to you. 

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Thank you very much :-). I could tell from the moment I signed up that this community was much more then just beauty addicts. It was like a very large family and always full of support, love and respect. I am so glad to be apart of all of this. I do my best to take a stand at dealing with discriminative types. My job which I am planning to leave post surgery is full of them. From co-workers, to supervisors to even HR as far as I am concerned. I say that when the world is against me I am not afraid to stand up for myself, and thankfully I have my boyfriend and mother with me. I do my best to block out negativity as much as I can. I just know I will be much happier and successful outside of where I am now. 

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Hi Carmen!  Thank you for sharing your story.  You are a strong person to have survived all this hardship and still come out with a positive outlook and a firm belief in what you need to do in order to be who you are meant to be. I'm so  glad that you choose life and love over giving in to the pain. <3   I wish you and your boyfriend all the best and I pray that you have a very healthy and successful surgery.  God bless! 

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Hey Garnett, 

 

It was my pleasure :-). As much as I don't talk about it much anymore because I am so close to completion it's always nice to remember where I once was, and to show people what it's life from the pov of someone whose had to deal with struggles. I am very thankful to have had the strength to make it this far. Thanks to my boyfriend because had he not been in my life things would of been a lot dire I feel. He's my everything and I am so very happy that he loves me and protects and supports me. Thank so much !. 

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

what an incredibly brave and strong woman you are! i don't know you, but i am so dang proud of you for sharing this with us. it break my heart what you've been through on your journey, but it is a testament to your strength that you survived and didn't let it hold you back from becoming who you need to be to be happy and whole <3 <3

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Hey Jamie,

 

Thank you :-). I have a lot of strength and no one or nothing will break me. I may have breakdowns but I always manage to deal with the blows from others. I felt that I wanted to be open about it. I just felt that people would actually be intrigued to know about what it's like to be like this. Seeing Transgender folk are becoming more noticed. My journey has had and still has many heartbreaking moments. But when I think about my life I have someone who cares and supports me along with my mothers. Your right ! and I could never let anything hold me back from being who I know I was meant to be. 

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

First of all, let me just say that you are a truly brave GIRL! I just can't imagine all the pain and sacrifice you had to go through to be what you are now - a FREE individual.

 

Do not ever let any one dictate what or who you are. The only one who has that right is YOU. Don't let those haters affect you. Clearly, they're just too dumb to realize and appreciate the beauty of having you around. Smiley Happy

 

Just hang in there, girl! You are beautiful and you'll make it! Smiley Happy

 

 

P.S.

Kudos to your boyf for being the sweetest and most supportive boyf to you. May you two be happy always. Smiley Happy

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Hey Cza,

 

I am indeed, sometimes I don't feel I am aware of how brave I am. I gotta say that I knew what it'd entail doing this. I just never knew how intense the craziness and chaos really was. Somedays I have breakdowns because of all the crap. However I am never broken. Stressed beyond belief but never broken lol. All I can say is it feels great to be free to express who I am now. I never let anyone dictate anything, I stand my ground even when they purposely use improper pronouns or hateful words. I do have 1 co worker who defends me often and knows what I am doing. She feels it's sad people are so narrowminded. I have come to accept it. Your right and the haters to me are the biggest jokes because they're all mostly much much older then myself.  Aww thank you so much :-). I will tell him and show him about the support. He will be so happy to know I have people who respect me as I am. He's the best !

 

Thanks girl !

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Good to know that you have such a positive outlook in life! I truly truly truly admire you. Smiley Happy

 

I have a co-worker that's transgender too and she's one of the best person to hang around in the office because she exudes so much positivity and optism. You actually remind me of her that's why when I read your story, I felt like I had an instant connection with you.

 

There is definitely nothing wrong with being true to yourself. Prove all those haters wrong. Kill them with your beauty and kindness.

 

Good luck with your surgery! For sure, having your mom and boyfriend by your side will somehow lessen the pain.

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

I have struggled but I do try to be as positive as I can. Some days it's hard but I know I can manage it all. Thank you :-). Oh awesome it's always great to know other trans folk have such awesome people like you to be there for them !. Well I am glad I reminded you of her :-). I've never been ashamed like how my co workers want me to feel. I kill them with that plus I got a big mouth lol. I speak up over peoples idiocy. Thanks and yep it's a lot easier for sure. 

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Thanks for sharing! Do you have any beauty tips? I'd be interested in your perspective. You look great in your profile photo!

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Hey there, your welcome, is there anything in specific you'd like me to share ?. Thanks :-)

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Carmen, I'm glad to hear about how comfortable you felt sharing your story here on BT! It's a very non-threatening board full of supportive, understanding enablers individuals Smiley Happy. It sounds like you have a very wonderful man by your side who understands you. I wish you well in your surgery and for a speedy recovery! <3

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Hey Poshified,

 

I've shared my story before with people on other sites. Unfortunately they aren't as genuine and caring as you all are here. I'm glad to have people that I know I can count on. My guy is the most remarkable aspect of my life besides transition. In the world of being Transgender I have found it's hard to be taken seriously by men. Simply because some see us as a fetish not as people genuinely wanting love. My guy surprised me and always still does. Hes my rock and my soulmate. 

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Thanks for taking the time to share your story. A million hugs your way

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Thank you so very much :-D !! Sending you a billion back :-)

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