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Post in Besides Beauty

Ladies 20 and over: How has your self esteem / Self Confidence improved since the teenage years?

                    Ladies what has picked you up since the teen years in the esteem and confidence area? What makes you feel good about yourself physically and mentally. What makes you feel beautiful. I really want to hear some of your stories. I'm 16 and feel at my lowest. My mother isn't in the position to help me at  this time. So what advice could you give? ♥



Edit 6/27/11: You girls are helping a lot more than you probably realise. :')

Re: Ladies 20 and over: How has your self esteem / Self Confidence improved since the teenage years?

Sweetheart, I feel for you. The teens can be the super-pits of life. Everyone is judgmental and unfortunately, what they see on the outside makes the determination of whether or not people your age want to be around you. I am a high school teacher, so I think I have some idea of how teens are today. It is not about putting on a mask of make-up to change your looks. You may want to enhance what you already have. Look in the mirror as if you were looking at someone else. DO NOT focus on anything negative. Even supermodels have things they don't like about their looks.(THEY don't even look the way they do in photographs!)  Look at this person and find ONE feature that you find beautiful. (YES, you do have one or more!!!). Enhance that feature with whatever natural-looking products you can afford. Nothing looks more tacky than a teen with a face full of pore-clogging make-up, trying to look like someone else.


As far as self-esteem, I believe in positive affirmations. WRITE THEM DOWN and put them where you will see them often. Things like, "I AM LOVEABLE AND CAPABLE", "I LOVE ME", "I CAN DO IT", "I AM A GOOD AND LOYAL FRIEND", etc. These will help your mind to focus on the positive sides of you and help you to remember to RESPECT yourself. Self-esteem can grow from helping others. You feel good about you because you helped someone who needed you. Can you volunteer at a Retirement Home or Group Home for disabled individuals? Everyone benefits---you gain self-esteem as well as confidence over time, and the residents gain from interactions with you. There is also the advantage of you realizing how lucky you are compared to people less fortunate, and there is always someone who is in a worse situation than you are.


In short:


Respect yourself

REMIND yourself what's great about you!  (it's NOT bragging!)

Enhance and embrace your own beauty

Share yourself with others

Know that things will get better as you mature

Make good choices (no drugs, alcohol,sex, etc.)

Radiate a positive attitude in your posture, personal interactions, and SMILE!!!


You will come out on the other side, I promise.






Re: Ladies 20 and over: How has your self esteem / Self Confidence improved since the teenage years?

Some things I think you just have to have experience to improve your self-esteem. As I tried new things and succeeded at them, I gained self confidence. When I was in high school, I was bullied so that was probably my low point in the esteem department. But I moved away from my hometown and got a job (which was a great confidence booster because I was actually responsible for something and got paid for it)!  As I gained experience at my job I was given more responsibilities and the feeling of actually accomplishing them was so awesome!  I could actually do most anything that I set my mind to, what a confidence booster. Plus I finally finished growing into my ungainly body, so that helped. Clothes started fitting better, I had money for better haircuts, money for makeup (YAY!!!!)


I also learned the importance of taking care of myself and exercise. Nothing beats a good workout for me, I feel strong, my mind is clearer and I can eat what I want (reasonable portion sizes here) and not have to obsess with calories.

So my advice to you is to pick a task and try to complete it. Whether it is to get in shape, learn a new language, read a difficult book, get out of a bad relationship, help out at a shelter (human or animal) just anything with a reasonable chance of success. Then set your mind to doing it, and GO!  When you complete your task, you will feel such a sense of confidence. Then choose something else, it will keep your mind and body occupied and you will feel more fulfilled.


Good luck, I'm rooting for you!!!!

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