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Post in Besides Beauty

Just needed to let it out...

Hi, guys. So this is kind of long, but I haven't had the most uplifting day, and not to sound harsh or anything, I kind of need to just let it out. School has been overwhelming, but it has been alright. I have a head cold and it's miserable. I'm in a highly competitive high school marching band and we have kicked things into high gear and it's been overly stressful managing time, but I'm figuring it out. Then about 15 minutes ago, my mother walked into my room as I was doing homework and told me that my cousin passed away from a drug overdose last night and that the funeral was tomorrow. We are a very reserved family and he was always the black sheep, but he was still a part of the family. I'm a huge ball of stress and sadness, it's actually hard to describe. Just needed to get it all out of only my mind, so thanks. -plm95

Re: Just needed to let it out...

I'm so sorry to hear of all your burdens and for the loss in your family!

 

I know it's not pity points you're trying to collect here, but I also know how great it is to just "let things out" sometimes, even if it's to random folks in a beauty forum. It's nice to know people out there will listen.

 

I wish you and your family all the best, especially in this time. Losing someone that wasn't always the closest can bring a lot of realization and evaluation to a family, so I hope you have a constant string of support via family and friends (if not, you know we're always here for updates and just to chit chat).

 

I hope you're able to get some rest so you heal up from your head cold, I know this added stress and worry isn't helping, but try making yourself a nice cup of tea and curling up with some soup. Take some you time, even if it's as simple as a warm meal, unwinding for 10 or 15 minutes with your favorite book, or even losing yourself in this beauty forum! It's important to make sure you're not ignoring you.

 

My boyfriend was in marching band, and several of my friends and family when they were in school and they all tell me it's no joke. So I commend you for taking on such a task and wish you the best of luck!

 

We're here for ya, stay strong!

 

 

Re: Just needed to let it out...

Hi lylysa- I just wanted to say you sent great info to plm85. Not just words of condolence but great ideas re her headcold and curling up with some hot soup etc. It may seem like something small, silly, or insignificant - but I Felt how thoughtful that was. You were very kind and intuitive. Well said. Just wanted you to know.

Re: Just needed to let it out...

Thank you kssweetheart for bring it back on topic.

 

plm, feel free to vent all you like. If you feel awkward making a post and venting so publicly, feel free to pm us! Feel free to PM me any time for any thing. I get on here at least once a day so I will definitely reply, altho I can be very verbose, you've been forewarned. =)

 

Give yourself quiet moment to grieve, and please do not withdraw from the world. When I was involved in a fatal car crash, I was so depressed that for six month, I didn't want to talk to anyone, go anywhere, eat anything, or even get out of bed in the morning. I slowly got out of after my friends demanded I check in with them every day (and I vented to someone on BeautyTalk awhile back =X). Sometimes what you don't want to do is actually what you need. Pull yourself up and move on with life, one little thing at a time. Eat food you like, get plenty of sleep, and do things you like. We are here for you. Post, PM, and talk to us.

Re: Just needed to let it out...

My deepest sympathies for you and your family. It is so tragic when anyone you know passes, and doubly so when a young person who has their whole life ahead of them passes.

Please take care of yourself, rest often, maybe you could get a day off from band since you need to grieve.

We are all with you.

Re: Just needed to let it out...

Stay strong and remember... everything happens for a reason. You may be struggling now but maybe one day you'll wake up feeling acomplished like u've achieved something. I may be young but I feel ya. Whenever I'm stressed i take a hot bath/shower and lock myself in my one little world where nothing else matters while doing something I love (singing) You can get through this!

- Jessi <3

Re: Just needed to let it out...

Hi Plm95, 

 

I'm so sorry to hear that! My condolences and thoughts to you and your family during this time. I can entirely understand how upsetting and stressful things may be for you right now, sometimes it really does help to vent to someone (even us since we don't know you too well and won't judge you! Smiley Happy ) but it can give your mind a bit of peace. Just stay strong and take a minute to relax and breathe a few times a day, just to clear your thoughts and stay calm. It helps! Lots of happiness and good thoughts to you! 

Luv&Lipgloss, Diana

Re: Just needed to let it out...

My family has been touched by drugs too, I know how you are feeling right now.   You'll get through it though.  Even though we don't know each ther, I'm sorry to hear about your rough time right now, but schools school and you'll find a way to balance it out.  Just worry abut getting yourself well and being there for and with your family.

Re: Just needed to let it out...

 

Now did someone need to tell you that drugs kill ?

 

Just don't start.... usually it's quite hard to quit .....................

 

Have a nice evening, Sorry to have heard of this bad news,

and may his soul rest in peace , + . 

 

Antoine

 

 

 

Re: Just needed to let it out...

No, Antoine0000, no one had to inform me that drugs kill. I am aware drugs kill and are quite hard to quit using. I saw first hand the effects of drug use as I went from very close with my cousin, to having to go our separate ways, to having to act as if I was the older person trying to tell him what to do, but in reality he was 14 years older than I, to being informed of his overdose. Your support is greatly appreciated.

Re: Just needed to let it out...


plm95 wrote:
No, Antoine0000, no one had to inform me that drugs kill. I am aware drugs kill and are quite hard to quit using. I saw first hand the effects of drug use as I went from very close with my cousin, to having to go our separate ways, to having to act as if I was the older person trying to tell him what to do, but in reality he was 14 years older than I, to being informed of his overdose. Your support is greatly appreciated.

=======================

 

Of course you have my full support . THat statement was not meant for you dear, but for everyone else who may think about taking drugs....  It's a very difficult issue to deal with , especailly when you can not get them to seek help or to stop and you know that it is destructive.  My prayers are with you , and your family and your beloved departed cousin .

 

Kindest Regards,

Antoine

 

Re: Just needed to let it out...

I'm so sorry for your loss.  You and your family are in my prayers.  It's always hard to lose a loved one.  I'm not going to say anything such as it will get better, because I remember exactly how I felt when my grandmother and my daughter both passed away.  It hurt a lot and well meaning comments from others did not help.  Grieving is a process and it proceeds differently for everyone.  I was put on anti-depressants in January 2011 and didn't really start feeling better until about August 2011. 

 

Again, I'm sorry this happened.  Please let your family know that we are all thinking of them.

Re: Just needed to let it out...

That is absolutely terrible. My condolence to you and your family. *HUG*

 

It's fine to vent. Venting makes me feel better, too (and trust me, I vent everywhere to everyone when it's too big for me to handle). Black sheep or not, it's always difficult to lose someone so close. In my first semester in college I was on a class project with this boy who looks like a A&F model and is a bit....wild, too, but he was a good person none-the-less. He died the second semester due to accident while riding his motorcycle. I didn't even knew him that well, but there's still the sad feeling weighing you down, that something so bad, that something only happening to "other people" happened so close to you, to someone you knew and liked. Give yourself time to grieve, your family and friends will understand. Don't bottle everything up. Take time out to grieve (cry, write, vent, talk and everything) and say proper goodbye to him, so that you can move on. It will be a slow start, but the best thing you can do is remember him, and go back to your life.

 

It's good you got the marching band figured out (ish). It is hard to describe, but we are here for you if you want to vent (and this is long at all compare to some other vents here). This is BeautyTalk, and letting it out is a detox process. =)

Re: Just needed to let it out...


beautytester wrote:

That is absolutely terrible. My condolence to you and your family. *HUG*

 

It's fine to vent. Venting makes me feel better, too (and trust me, I vent everywhere to everyone when it's too big for me to handle). Black sheep or not, it's always difficult to lose someone so close. In my first semester in college I was on a class project with this boy who looks like a A&F model and is a bit....wild, too, but he was a good person none-the-less. He died the second semester due to accident while riding his motorcycle. I didn't even knew him that well, but there's still the sad feeling weighing you down, that something so bad, that something only happening to "other people" happened so close to you, to someone you knew and liked. Give yourself time to grieve, your family and friends will understand. Don't bottle everything up. Take time out to grieve (cry, write, vent, talk and everything) and say proper goodbye to him, so that you can move on. It will be a slow start, but the best thing you can do is remember him, and go back to your life.

========================================

 

 

Well, I best leave you ladies to attend to this, seeing that I am niether in your age range nor in your sex !  I think the younger ones here know better what to say than I do.  My full sympathies of course...  Well the grieving process takes it's time on it's own and eventually everything is fine again.   The human mind/body is capable of enduring many things that some may imagine to be impossible.

 

Good Night for noe ladies,

 

Antoine


 

 

Re: Just needed to let it out...

Drugs affect all ppl, regardless of age, gender, or socioeconic status, etc...it has nothing to do with those things at all.  We just have to be careful what we write, especially at someones time of need and their most vulnerable, because things written on the internet get misconstrued all the time. The tone or true message intended is hard to portray with the written word, and thus gets taken in a way that offends ppl.  I've found this to be true in emails or texts, and learned my lesson to reread what I've written before posting/sending.  

Re: Just needed to let it out...

I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin!  What horrible news after such a stressful day.  You and your family are in my prayers.

Re: Just needed to let it out...

I lost my mom recently to an overdose of prescription drugs. The best advice I have for you is to talk about it. To anyone that is willing to listen. School counselors forums friends pets whoever. It will save your sanity. Take time for yourself everyday to destress also. Take care of yourself emotionally. You only have one you.

My son is a senior in high school this year so I know things get hectic and you get bogged under with school work and activities and work/ family stress. Its good to vent its better to laugh. Your family is in my thoughts.

Re: Just needed to let it out...

Hu mityren - I was sorry to hear about the recent loss of your mother, that's so sad. But there's not a lot you can do about it in situations like that. You seem to have developed any excellent coping strategy.Thanks for sharing your great ideas with all of us, they apply to  anyone going through such a loss. Prayers to you and family as well. Thanks again for sharing.

Re: Just needed to let it out...

Hi plm - I was so sad when I read your post, my heart genuinely hurts for you. It's hard to lose anyone, especially someone young and especially this way. It's also harder to deal with when your so young, you're just a kid, you shouldn't have to deal with such things. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. We all just have to hope that this wakes people up and gets them to stop, or never start. I believe that will happen, although you may never know about it, I firmly believe this loss can and will save someone. I know there are really no words that will help. Just know he's no longer in pain, maybe that will help you get through this.

 

I was also in Marching Band in HS, almost went 'pro' afterward but things didn't pan out. I was what everyone likely knows as a 'flag twirler' It was stressful, so I get where you're coming from. Some may think marching band is uncool, and sometimes it is, but not in my school, Band was full of the coolest kids, sounds like your school's the same, I know it's work and as stressful as it is, I hope you can pour yourself into that, and kind of lose yourself in that. Can I ask what you play and what music your playing? (I know, seemingly stupid question right now, I just look for 'connecting threads' and wonder if there is one in there.) Let marching band be your Joy. I hope the 'school' part of 'school' works out alright. Have you spoken to your guidance counselor about this? You probably should let them know. I switched guidance counselors in school, something not often done, but I didn't like mine and knew that another would be a better fit, it was. I definitely think it's extremely important for a GC to know about this. Like me, if you don't like yours, you can always change,

 

Please, please, please vent all you like. This is where you can come and share or state things you can't to family and some friends. You can ask questions too, Sometimes it's much easier to share/ask people who aren't a part of you life and you don't feel uncomfortable. We're all here. My heart and my prayers go out to you. Please come and talk to us anytime you want. Hang in there sweetie.

 

ps - and you thought your post was long. Sorry.

Re: Just needed to let it out...

Oh Plm95 I am so sorry! I know how difficult it is to see someone you care for and are close to spiral downward and be powerless to stop it.  My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family and I'll keep you in my prayers.

Re: Just needed to let it out...


keelybt wrote:

Oh Plm95 I am so sorry! I know how difficult it is to see someone you care for and are close to spiral downward and be powerless to stop it.  My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family and I'll keep you in my prayers.


Thank you KELLYBT .......... Your presence was dearly needed on this thread.

 

Enjoy your evening,

 

Antoine

 

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