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I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

The past couple of days have really made me rethink the integrity of this forum.

 

There have been numerous posts from new members or special guests wanting genuine answers to their concerns, and I have seen many sarcastic remarks made towards them about their questions. Yes, they may be repetitive but these are people too.  Everyone has feelings and I don't think it's fair to make fun of someone because they may have asked the same question another person may have asked an hour ago, or a year ago. Sometimes people come in here not to browse, but to specifically only want an answer to their question.  They don't come in here to search for an answer, but to get one.

 

It isn't fair to make a smart remark regarding their questions or inserting an ignorant picture meme. When that person comes back to check for an answer they are viewing this and probably getting their feelings hurt; which may ultimately lead to the demise of BeautyTalk. They will not feel the need to come back or even want to be involved in a place like this. I realize that some people do have a certain sense of humor, but take into account other peoples feelings before posting a 'funny' picture or a smart remark. It may even make them feel like they don't want to make a purchase from Sephora. We don't know how other people think and what they feel. Shouldn't we try to be a little more compassionate and understanding?

 

With a lot of these new posts, we're not sure how old the person is. They could be 12 up to 60. Wouldn't you feel bad if your 13 year old daughter was asking a legit question in a forum and got rude responses? Before we post things, I think we should think first how someone would feel.

 

I really feel like this is high school again with certain clicks judging other new people. Everyone was new at some point and we're all guilty of doing certain things that are plainly stated we shouldn't do in the BeautyTalk Rules. I made a thread before about how excited I was about BT and how I wish sales associates would have told me about BT and got many comments about how many don't like it shared. Is this what we do when we don't want to share? Push them away with bitter, cutting remarks or taunting? Again, some people may not 'get' your sarcasm. There is a time and place for that and a newcomers thread isn't that place.

 

I was new at one point, only a couple months ago, so I am still relatively new. I understand that by posting this, I am probably setting myself up for some nasty PM's or will no longer be accepted in this world. But, ultimately I want to express my feelings because I do have such a strong passion about this subject. I was once bullied in high school and when I see certain comments or posts, it brings back bad memories and I empathize with the person whom its directed towards. It's just not fair to do some of the things that have been going on the past couple of days. Treat others how you would wish to be treated.

 

If I'm not welcome in here anymore by speaking my mind, I will at least bow out knowing that I did what was right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

I am with you 100% jenjen.  You know that stereotype that a group of women gets really catty?  Let's not do that..let's be the opposite of that.  BT is awesome, but every once in a while there is a bit of hostility/negativity.  It's not about "freedom of expression", it's about the freedom to express yourself in a kind manner.  Too many message boards have jerks and you know what? Too many people at your jobs, school, family, supermarket are jerks, too.....let's continue to make BT a nice escape from all that!

 

if someone asked a question that's been done to death, all we have to type is this....

 

"I would suggest blah blah blah, but for more ideas you can check out this thread (insert link)....".  

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

That's what I do - just link them to previous threads with helpful answers.

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Of course you are entitled to speak your mind.  I would take serious issue with whomever sent you a nasty PM or asked you to leave the forum.  You aren't out of line at all in your thoughts on the subject.

 

The only thread I'm aware of is the "Before you post..." thread - which I think for the most part is in good humor.  There were direct snarky/rude comments to new user's posts?

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Thank you Kalex.

 

I had a couple of errands to run this morning and I swear this was the only thing going on in my mind. I was really getting bothered by some of the things I saw, so  I knew the only way I would feel better is by posting about it.

 

I did get a nasty PM earlier for what I said in the thread regarding the search bar thingie. I didn't respond back, but at least now I know that person isn't someone I want to be associated with anymore.

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Well said jenjendoitagain. Smiley Happy <3

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Thank you. Smiley Happy I was really worried about posting, but you Kalex & Coffee have made me feel better about it. Smiley Happy

 

Unfortunately, now its time to go fold some laundry! Ehh. Husband will be back in town in a couple of hours! Yayyy!!! At least I have something to look forward to today! Smiley Very Happy

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Jen, I agree with you. I also applaud your courage for speaking out. I think there are a few things going on lately that have created a perfect storm on these boards. I hope things settle down and BT regains its welcoming, patient, and caring environment. That's what drew me here in the first place. (I stayed for the kittehs, but that's another story!) Smiley Happy

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Cranky kitteh does not approve of snarkiness. Cranky kitteh needs more belly rubs instead.

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

These are some good points! I don't think anyone will backlash for you being kind? I think our girls are just getting a little bit playful, they're nice ladies on the inside Smiley Happy!! Believe me <3

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

I understand and I get that, but I know some people may not. Ya know? I am sensitive and try to think about how others feel, and I know they may get hurt by certain sarcasm.

 

I guess I just feel like I want everyone to enjoy the positive points of BeautyTalk.

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

I know, I feel the same.  BT has meant so much to me the last few months....it has been a fun outlet for me while I scour the internet for jobs and get depressed, at least I can come here and it is fun and pleasant.  I just want it to stay that way because like I said, there are so many idiots we have to deal with in "real life" and on other message boards.

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Ditto! Smiley Happy

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Agreed. I used to frequent more places, but after awhile they always get political or snarky. That's my que (sp?) to leave, but I like BT too much to leave, lol, so I'll just settle for complaining about complainers like a cranky old person (no offense to any awesome old person here on bt).

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

it was funny at first when everyone was just venting and having fun with it in the one thread, but when someone new asked how to become rouge the "inside jokes" carried over into her post which i  thought was going too far, Beauty Talk is not a clique, don't go out of your way to embarrass someone for asking a question.

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

That is one that really got to me.

 

I agree with you, sometimes its just gone too far.

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Well said!

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

You  make a  valid point.  I think we were just having fun and it snowballed.  There was no malicious intent and I hope anyone who might have been hurt by that will see that it was just a runaway train of humor.  I usually try to give good answers to questions that are common and I know that the person asking may not be familiar with how a site like this works, especially when it comes to searching for info.  

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

 

jenjen- I believe you have the best intentions at heart- you are most welcome and accepted in BT and will continue to be. You are just trying to keep BT the positive and wonderfully addicting place that it is. I have seen bt go through sort of phases/ups and downs, but it always perks back up Smiley Happy

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Jen, I agree with you. Since joining BT, I've been amazed at this group of friendly and caring women. I don't have many female friends because I can't stand the cattyness and the drama that constantly surrounds them. This place seemed different. But in the last few days I've seen that catty side come out. 

 

I do agree with everyone that some posts can be annoying, but I just choose to ignore them and let a Mod answer them. I only peruse posts that I want to read. I applaud you for speaking your mind, because I have also received some unwelcome remarks here, which have made me back-off from conversing with some people. And as a naturally introverted person, remarks like that really hurt me. 

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

i'm sorry that happened to you, when i was new a couple of people tried to be rude to me on a post and i gave it right back to them Smiley Very Happy the mods ended up deleting the post but i made my point. lol

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

lol, you always make me laugh! but good for you! for the most part, the mods here are awesome and really do a good job.

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Well said jenjen. I partly blame the forum set up. There should be a direct link to the "Welcome - Getting Started" link more prominently placed on the main page. So many new (and long-standing) viewers have never read it. It should also encourage searching links before posting a question.

 

I do get tired of seeing the same question over and over but i just don't respond, hoping someone will take the time. This is where we should follow the old adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say, it's better to not say anything at all."

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

I agree 100% with what you said. I know some of the ladies who were being snarky are actually very nice, but it's easy for things to snowball and since it's hard to tell the tone/intention online, it's easy for people to get unintentionally hurt It's fine to poke fun in a thread me think, but when you answer a legit question with an inside joke that the poster is not in on, not as cool. If you do get backlash, feel free to vent to me, I support you. =)

 

I do wish BT is more publicized, which is why I tell Sephora all the time (the "appropriate dept" that my feedback gets forwarded to can attest to that) that they really should just make the top tab "BeautyTalk" instead of "Advice" and it's more self-explanatory. I don't want newbies to come here *just* for the TSB, but when their newbie questions gets answered like that or not answered at all, I would imagine it's hard to actually participate.

 

You are not welcome to leave this forum. =P. Everyone have a right to speak up. If anyone is thinking of sending flaming hate PMs to jenjendoitagain, send it my way instead! I like it hot, muahahaha.

*runs to the mall to stock up on Sephora goodies to shield my oh so sensitive feelings first*

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

I didn't see anyone being directly mean, but if someone was, I'm not okay with that.

 

We were all n00bs once.

 

But, at the same time, there *are* issues with BT and the search.  I do wish there was some way to "pin" a list of FAQs and "how to do a search" at the top of the page so that new people might look there to see if their question has already been answered.

 

I think the most effective way to deal with new repetitive questions is to simply to post a link to the most recent thread on that particular topic.

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