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Post in Besides Beauty
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Health and Sanity Check-Ins

Things are crazy now. I think we are all trying to stay healthy and maintain sanity as well. I thought I would start this thread so folks can check in and discuss how they're doing. I want all my BIC friends to be okay. I will kick this off with a first post. Take care of yourself lovelies.

Re: Health and Sanity Check-Ins

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Congrats and best of luck! 🍀

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Congrats @Nickelliebear1 @and lots of luck on your next work adventure !!! 

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@Nickelliebear1 Congratulations on the new job!

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@Nickelliebear1 Congratulations on the new job and following your dreams! ❤️ I hope you get everything you ever dreamt of out of your new career. 

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Good luck @Nickelliebear1!

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Good for you, @Nickelliebear1! Good luck! 🍀

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Best wishes in your new endeavor, @Nickelliebear1 ! 💖💖💖  

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@Nickelliebear1 All the best to you in your new role. I find that new beginnings are exciting and often scary aswell. Congratulations on having the courage to make a change for your well-being. I know i have have to make some changes in the past and it let me on the path i am on today. Positive vibes for your start! 🌟 💞🙏

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@Nickelliebear1 I wish all the happiness and success on the new job. 

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@dinadore Those are some great habits. I am trying to have a healthier lifestyle aswell. Everyday I learn something new. All the best to you on ypur healthy journey!

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Just wanted to check in with how people are doing during this wave. I know since the pandemic hit, a LOT of unpaid, unrecognized work has fallen to women. I don't know about you, but I am really burned out??

 

I'm taking a part time course and it includes a group project. After weeks of observing my group failing to self-organize, wasting time in these spectacularly ineffectual meetings with zero attempts to moderate discussion or drive it toward any objectives, deliverables or deadlines resulting in a serious lack of coordination, I stepped in and took charge.

 

[Rereading this, I sound very peevish so I edited it down!! tl;dr: I'm tired of picking up after men 🙃] One part of me is pragmatic. I need a decent group grade to pass the class (majority of my final grade) and frankly, it is less work when I am in charge instead of watching the others faff about. I'm hoping some readers here can relate. I know it benefits me to take on this work and it saves me time. But the other part of me is VERY irritated after leading projects over the past two years. I could've said no to other things too. So I get it's my "choice". But the thing is, I did say no, repeatedly. I have no difficulty saying no. But there are some things I won't compromise on.

 

I know a lot of us out there have been taking on the lion's share of childcare, elder care, community care. It feels like whenever there's money and prestige, men are happy to take charge and whenever's there's "unskilled" or undesirable work to be done like emotional labour or volunteer labour, and especially when it comes to family care and friendships, it's women who are shouldering the load. I know when covid hit, a lot of my female colleagues were given the additional burden of organizing remote social activities and making sure team members were okay in addition to everything else. Are they getting more pay or promotions for this? LOL. How are you holding up? How do you keep pushing through all this? How have you improved things for yourself? How do you stay positive and keep things as fair to yourself and others as possible?

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@pocketvenus Reading how things are for others in those kind of work environments sure makes me glad I'm just a simpleton working in a factory lol. I do have to clean up after the crews on day shift with my line led by men...who don't do anything and get all the praise 🙄. But I don't think I could handle a job with meetings or assignments. We have occasional meetings and I'll always complain they could have been an email. No one likes going in on our days off haha.  

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@Samtian ❤️ Whether one is working a white collar or blue collar job, there are a lot of things these positions share. Sexism for one thing, yes. The worker-employer power dynamic is another. I know the specificities can be very different but in some  important ways, there is a common struggle.

 

Honest to god, hearing you are able to enjoy perfumes again was really a bright light in my week 🌻

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@pocketvenus That is for sure! And awe I'm glad I could help brighten your week!

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PS Sorry you have to deal with that!

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@pocketvenus , GIRL, GGIIIIIRRRLLL.  Definitely can relate. During my internship I had two other people that would literally ask me to send them files directly from our shared folder🤦🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️. They were younger than me and supposedly more tech savvy 😑🙄

 

I have a work assignment next week where I'm supposed to talk about work/life balance, and I've already thought to myself, "how am I going to politely lie address this?". But in reality, I do try to delineate what I can and have off time.  I'm very fortunate, but even when I wasnt at a point, I've always fought for the time.  (I'm not suggesting anyone isn't, just trying to convey everyone has the right to self care, but man, sometimes you really have to argue advocate for it.)

 

Firm boundaries are key.  It can be uncomfortable, but you gotta set them.  Burnout is real.

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@danielledanielle I've had this exact experience, as if their hands and brains got broke ha ha ha!!! Yes, everyone comes from a different level of leverage and precarity. When it comes to this sort of thing, it's really important to know your own labour laws where you are, what's in your contract, and what kinds of rights one is entitled to. The costs of fighting for them are different depending on one's individual situation and sometimes it's not worth going after those rights. But I have also seen workers get screwed over because they didn't know what legal protections were in place for them. Same thing for tenants. So painful to see people agree to what amounts to an illegal eviction in Toronto because they didn't know better. Know your rights and go after them!! 🙂

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@danielledanielle I just had to say... when I read "how am I going to politely lie address this?" I felt that... in my soul🤣👀

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Sorry to hear your in the midst of such a stressful time @pocketvenus ! Group projects are always the absolute worst! There’s always someone who doesn’t do their share and while of course you can say no, it’s hard to when you’re grade is riding on it! 

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@pocketvenus @Kim888 I remember group

projects in college were rough. I was always praying I would get a group where everyone wanted to participate but that never happens. I was always the one who was the leader and had to pull most of the weight. There were only a couple of times where I got a great group. I’m glad we got to grade each other because there was one person we all gave a F grade to. He deserved it for coasting. 

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@SportyGirly125 @Kim888 Thanks ❤️ It's not so bad, just a very "straw that broke the camel's back" situation. I can totally see you leading teams in college, @SportyGirly125 . So many highly organized mothers I know could easily out-perform a lot of project managers out there who are only in it for prestige and more pay and show no compassion for the well being of their team members.

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