Health and Sanity Check-Ins

[sprocketta]

Things are crazy now. I think we are all trying to stay healthy and maintain sanity as well. I thought I would start this thread so folks can check in and discuss how they're doing. I want all my BIC friends to be okay. I will kick this off with a first post. Take care of yourself lovelies.

[pocketvenus]

@niki172 don't know if it's bravery so much as "lost it one evening and started hacking away in frustration." I sent the end result pic to my stylist, I think she was amused. She was kind enough to say it looked good 😂

[niki172]

@pocketvenus that was nice of her and I'm sure it was fine. I hope you can get in soon if you are wanting to - I know I felt like a brand new person when I was finally able to get it. My old stylist would have read me the riot act if I'd tried to cut my hair (again not creative at all here) 😅. I understand the frustration - I was there for about 3 weeks of just wanting to hack off my hair and find myself a nice wig lol! If I was single and not dating I may have done it, but I'm afraid I may have scared my husband off with the hack job I would have done to my hair.

[pocketvenus]

@niki172 I'm so looking forward to getting a proper cut with layers to thin out my hair!! Having said that, I'm grateful for everything I've got and am fine with putting my hair up until things improve. To be honest, I don't think my spouse can tell the difference 😛 He's equally unobservant about makeup!

[niki172]

@pocketvenus I hope you get that haircut soon 🤗. My husband doesn't notice much either, but I'm pretty sure he'd notice if I'd shaved my head 😅.

[niki172]

Our state is looking at shutting down again and I'm having a hard time fighting the panic. I'm afraid my husband will be furloughed again and anyone that has messed with unemployment I'm sure knows the sinking feeling in the pit in my stomach to have to deal with the unemployment office again. I really want to see my parents this holiday season, but my siblings and their kids go to school and other social gatherings (I won't go into details but they attend non-mandatory things that have waaaaayyy too many people at them) so I'm not sure how wise it is to be together this season. I'm basically self quarantined as I work from home and don't leave the house except on a few occasions (maybe 4-5x's a month or so) for things like Dr's appointments. The prospect of not being able to see my parents, especially my Mom, is upsetting. One of my parents is a cancer survivor that is still being treated so that is what makes me against any sort of holiday gatherings. It was bad enough standing in her driveway telling her Happy Mother's Day and her gift was TP that she couldn't find (don't know how I'll ever top that one lmao) that I had to leave on her porch and then talk to her from 30 feet away for only a few minutes. I guess if anything I'll never take a hug for granted from my parents ever again. I was really looking forward to Christmas this year as I thought it would brighten everything up. I really hope I'm wrong, and we can still manage something, but a Christmas without being able to see my parents doesn't seem so bright. I know I'm fortunate that they're still in my life, but it just brings me down thinking that we can't be together this year. It really was the one thing I was looking forward to.

[pocketvenus]

@niki172 Hang in there! I really hope your spouse doesn't get furloughed again ❤️

[Samtian]

@niki172 I'm so sorry to hear that. It's definitely a bummer and helps you appreciate things. Unemployment is the worst to deal with, I really hope he doesn't have to go through that again. 

[niki172]

Thank you @Samtian he came home yesterday with a letter from the state arguing that he shouldn't have gotten unemployment and that a trial date will be set. I *guess* fortunately they're going against his employer directly, but he's still involved. What a nightmare, but hey I guess it wouldn't be 2020 without some sort of frivolous waste of time like a stupid court date to end the year with a bang (which BTW how in the world are they going to hold that?? I'm not going into a courthouse right now that's nuts!).

[Samtian]

@niki172 Wow. I'm sorry about that. Ridiculous. Hopefully everything gets smoothed out. I hate dealing with unemployment, thankfully for me when I had to call them I got someone nice. Finally got them paid off last week. I haven't been to court yet but I have been on Jury Duty since June. Both times I've been called they were cancelled. That would be interesting to see how it goes.

[niki172]

@Samtian you had to pay them? That's awful. Hopefully you won't have to do jury duty. There's no way you can socially distance in a jury box.

[Samtian]

@niki172 Yep, back in May my work never told me if they were paying us for staying home while waiting for results, I was even told by union reps and a manager to go ahead and file for unemployment. Yeah turns out my work did decide to pay me. So I had to repay that back. Jury Duty ends at the end of Dec lol so I hope not.

[sprocketta]

@niki172 your stress is palpable. I'm so sorry and hope your husband doesn't get furloughed again. I too am missing the holidays with my family as I would have fly and my sister is on dialysis and it's too risky. I'm sorry you missed saying goodbye due to other's behavior. I'm sure that will hurt for a while and my heart goes out to you. You are strong enough to get through this even if it doesn't feel like that sometimes.

[niki172]

@sprocketta I'm sorry you're going to miss out on your family. I know dialysis can be rough even without a pandemic going on. I hope your sister is hanging in there okay - I'll keep her in my thoughts ❤️.

[curlychiquita]

@niki172 I feel the same way you do 😞 Hopefully we'll get to see our parents soon!

[niki172]

@curlychiquita it's so stressful. My husband came home and told me his mom asked us what we are doing for Thanksgiving. We never go over there for Thanksgiving (it's a hot mess as my brother in law lives with her with his family don't get me started) and they definitely do NOT follow even the simplest of guidelines. I missed telling my grandmother goodbye from her hospice room because my SIL decided to go over to her sister's house after she was told the family had a very contagious 72 hour flu anyways and guess what - both my husband and I came down with high fevers that weekend. We were living in my MIL's in-laws part of the house waiting for our home to be done (it was a 5 week thing where renting an apartment made no sense financially when she had the room) and they had decided that they needed to move in the last week we were there. So not only was that the weekend that we moved into our house (she came into contact with my husband on that Wed/Thursday/Friday) my grandmother passed that same Sunday. I'll never forgive her for that. So since I told my husband no on going over there I'm now the bad guy. I reminded him of the events of that weekend we moved and he softened his stance a bit (not a fight just disappointed I guess?), but still this is nuts. I don't even want to think about what they want to do for Christmas - I just don't want to go over there as I'm afraid of getting sick especially my husband as he's high risk. I really hope this whole thing is over with soon/gets better for all of us (virtual hug to anyone that needs one (((hug))). I can't wait for 2020 to be over with.

[curlychiquita]

@niki172 I totally understand that.  Families are difficult on a regular basis, but one that disregards things so important to you as you sister-in-law does doesn't deserve you catering to their whims.  I'm glad you aren't caving to that for Thanksgiving!

[niki172]

@curlychiquita thank you I'm glad I don't come off as a total witch to other people with this situation. It's difficult as I'm being portrayed as the villain now by my MIL to my husband, but I told her she could come down to our home herself if she really wanted to. It was the easiest compromise where I can control the environment a bit better with masks and lysol . I understand she wants to see her son, but I'm not going to be around that other side of the family. TBH she's high risk as well having asthma and diabetes so I worry about her being around them, but she's a grown adult and it's her call.

[Titian06]

@niki172 - I'm so sorry you're going through such a stressful time (again)!  It's better for you, you're immediate family, and your parents if you stay home for the holidays.  Your and your family's health is far more important than taking such a huge chance--especially since your siblings are not taking precautions.  You can call or Skype (or Zoom) your parents.  Just think about how much more enjoyable the holidays will be next year!  (((HUG)))

[niki172]

Thank you @Titian06  ❤️. I think we're going to have a drive-in Thanksgiving (I know it sounds weird) since it would be only 3 cars in my parent's driveway. This was my Mom's idea since it's kind of warm here for the time of the year. It would be outdoor seating and we'd be far apart from one another so it might work. I think she's trying to work out the logistics as she wants to see us and her grandkids as well. It's not a bad idea if we can pull it off. We'll see - hopefully we'll see each other somehow someway. 

[tsavorite]

There's an interesting documentary on Netflix called "The Social Dilemma."  I really recommend it to everyone who uses the internet, or is a parent, or a grandparent.  It is entertaining, too.

It concerns the impact of social media, how Google picks items to show you when you ask for things, and much, much more.  

[Samtian]

Thank you everyone for your kind words this last whole month plus eek. I'm trying to keep myself busy, this time of year is always the worst for my depression and with the added things going on it's tough. It turns out Bandit had a form of skin cancer, a very aggressive one. My work made some changes. They now say (for covid) you know quarantine if you are sick or if they tell you to, but pay is no longer guaranteed it'll be case by case. I'm sure you can guess what'll happen next. People will be coming to work knowingly positive. That'll be fun.