Health and Sanity Check-Ins

[sprocketta]

Things are crazy now. I think we are all trying to stay healthy and maintain sanity as well. I thought I would start this thread so folks can check in and discuss how they're doing. I want all my BIC friends to be okay. I will kick this off with a first post. Take care of yourself lovelies.

[heartsmyface]

@tsavorite   I’m so so sorry.  Big hugs to you too.  I hope you‘ve experienced a little healing and continue to.  

[tsavorite]

Thank you, @heartsmyface .  You are in my thoughts and prayers.  Sending more hugs!

[danielledanielle]

💔💔

@heartsmyface I'm so sorry.

ETA:  I love that photo you posted.  It's a wonderful thing to have loved someone so much, but it can be a hard thing, especially now.  Do whatever you need to do.

[blackkitty2014]

I’m so sorry @heartsmyface. That picture is precious. I can tell you two are closed. I lost my dad 12 yrs ago and I still miss him every day 🌹

[curlychiquita]

I wish you could have your hugs, @heartsmyface. 😓  This is such a sad time.

[Seymore3]

@heartsmyfaceSorry for your loss,take care.

[Loretta55]

I am so sorry for the loss of your dad @heartsmyface . 

[greeneyedgirl107]

@heartsmyface Please accept my sympathy.  Losing a close family member is hard enough - I can't imagine having the added sadness of this climate right now.  You and yours will be in my thoughts.  ❤️

[Samtian]

@heartsmyface Oh no, I'm so so sorry. 

[pocketvenus]

@heartsmyface I am so sorry to hear this terrible news. It is very, very difficult to grieve during a time of social isolation. I hope people are calling and checking up on you. We are all here at BIC ❤️

When my family friend passed away from covid, the family was not permitted to hold a wake, viewing, or visitation. The funeral home did allow a handful of people, direct relatives only, for a quick service. What the family did was create an altar in their home where we could send flowers, cards, photos and other mementos and they shared this on FB. I thought this helped. Later, in the summer when the restrictions were lifted, they held a more traditional memorial service and people can now visit the cemetery where our friend was buried. So a delayed service is possible for closure.

Online funeral services are tricky, I think. At a normal service, there are periods where people are able to talk to each other informally and comfort each other. An opt-in emotional decompressing is a really important aspect to preserve online, I think. An abrupt ending can leave people feeling very emotionally keyed up and isolated.

Please hang in there. Try to move around if you can, do something with your hands. Sending you warmth during this difficult time <333

[Zvezdochka]

@heartsmyface  I’m so sorry for your loss. I understand what you mean and I sincerely hope that one day soon enough your family will be able to do live whiskey circle and say their goodbyes or honor in silence. When my dad passed away I was 15,000 miles away and was not able to fly back in time for the funeral. But he expected that. Last time I visited he told me not to come if he passed away. 7 days before his death he sent me a happy birthday message on Skype. I still look at it sometimes 2 years later. You will get through this. It won’t be easy but it’s not supposed to be. Let yourself grieve in your own way. I’m very sorry 

[Kim888]

I’m so so sorry for your loss @heartsmyface . I’m thinking of you and your family. It’s such a hard time not being able to celebrate his life the way you and he would have wanted 😞

[Titian06]

@heartsmyface - I am so sorry your father passed away!  He looks so cool!  First, everyone grieves differently, so don't feel you should be over the meltdown stage by now.  Second, my cousin's husband died early in the COVID pandemic (heart attack, not COVID).  My cousin could only have immediate family attend a short service.  A few weeks ago, she was finally able to have a memorial for everyone to attend (with large gathering restrictions).  Do what you have to do now knowing you can do more later.  

[heartsmyface]

@Titian06  Awww, sorry to hear that your cousins husband died.  Dragging it out seems cruel but maybe it could be better in that people have time to process everything a little and remember good stories to share rather than the first things that come to mind.  I hope she was able to get some healing even if it was delayed. 
I’m considering a whiskey circle outside with the neighbours and then a special something whenever restrictions ease up.  We’re going to be in desperate need of a family reunion as it is. 

[ShortErica]

Oh @heartsmyface words will never be enough. I remember when my grandpa died just me flying in (despite it being finals week) was exactly what my dad needed. Physical presence is so important. I hope some small gestures from family and friends can help you through until you can get those hugs you need. Thinking of you

[heartsmyface]

@ShortErica @Thank you.  Just sitting with people would be enough.  I’m horrified that so many people have been suffering alone this year not being able to get  what should be basic comfort.  
One of my dads close neighbours came by and I did get one huge hug.  Mask free too.😅 He was like ‘fk covid’ and my bubble expanded by two.  I don’t have much of a bubble anymore.  I pushed everyone out so I could feel mentally at ease going to my parents place. 
Aw you’re a good daughter.  I bet it helped him wonders having someone physical.  It’s not the same thing knowing you have loved ones as it is having them there and more...tangible? 

[ShortErica]

Indeed f..k covid! Sometimes you need to safely expand your bubble and get some comfort @heartsmyface. You know BIC is here for you.

[Nickelliebear1]

I feel really guilty but I needed to take an extra day this week to better take care of myself.  Yesterday I was in so much pain the opening supervisor sent me home after ten minutes.  I volunteered to go home early if we needed to save on labour and when he asked while mentioning that it felt like someone was sawing on my pelvic bone was not the answer he was expecting (I guess he was expecting me to say I was tired or my arm hurt, lol.)
After sweeping and mopping my one bedroom apartment's floors for 5 hours, I finally ordered in food and coffee and curled up in bed again.  

Today the latest gossip is that there was a "no mask shopping party" going on at the Walmart closest to me.  Not orchestrated by Walmart, obviously, but by a group of anti-maskers as a public stance.  I'm relieved I'm not working tonight, given the fact that Walmart is just across the street from the mall.  

But tomorrow's going to be a better day.  Talked to a doctor who validated that I'm just experiencing some severe side effects of the deficiencies in my blood and that I shouldn't worry too much.  

[sprocketta]

@Nickelliebear1 You shouldn't feel guilty about taking time to rest, especially with medical conditions that are literally exhausting you. Keep your chin up. You're a strong lady.

[curlychiquita]

@Nickelliebear1 Blood issues cause all kinds of unusual side effects because blood is so necessary everywhere in your body. I'm glad you went home and I hope you feel better soon. 💗

[Samtian]

@Nickelliebear1 That sounds horrible, I'm glad your supervisor let you go home!