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Post in Besides Beauty

Getting Personal

I just wanted to tell you guys how much you help me out.  I suffer from EXTREME Depressive Disorder. I'm actually on Disability for it even though I was able to get a Degree with a Concentration and 2 Minors at NCState and work till I was 30.  This board has helped me to interact with other people instead of going into myself. It''s gotten me to get up, get dressed, AND put makeup on Smiley Wink, and laugh (really hard).  I even got to do something for someone else with TSB and went out to the Post Office twice that day (my parents were in shock I think Smiley Happy  So I just wanted to thank you so much for just being apart of this board because if you wern't on it, it wouldn't be the same!

Re: Getting Personal


katimae wrote:

  I will pray for you to find the right answer.  I never had any children and I regret that, it was mostly because of my mental illness.  It makes me sad but it just wasn't in the plan and I had two beautiful step-daughters for 6 years that I raised.  Didn't have deal with diapers or the angst of the teenage years.  LOL

Have a great day everyone!


I'm laughing about the part where you said you didn't have to deal with the teenaged years! I change diapers every workday! And Iget to play and care for babies. If it comes to pass tht we can't have or adopt any of our own, I will appreciate that I will get all of the perks with none of the heartaches of having my own!
xoxoxoxox

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My thoughts are with you too, Mermadelove!  The decision to have or not have children is always a big one, and way more so for you. I hope that everything turns out well for you both. (Love the part about how you get to play with babies but get your sleep!)

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@mermadelove:  First of all, thank you for sending angels and positive thoughts my way! Smiley Happy  I also wanted to let you know that I am sending angels and positive thoughts to you and your husband during this difficult time of trying to decide about becoming pregnant again. Smiley Happy

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Tenngal: I just read your post and I am so sorry to hear about your pain and that **bleep** depression it has caused.  I don't even know what to say. I can''t relate. The worst pain I've ever had was a car accident and my migraines which I don't  think compare.  Jeez, I really wish there was anything I could do to help you. As you said if you ever want to pm me feel free. You know I CAN relate to the depression.  Don't let that take you too far. It can be very dangerous.  As I said to mermade, my spiritual beliefs are a little different, but, I will pray for you.

Please take good care of yourself.

Kati

PS I'll also send good vibes your way.Smiley Wink

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@katimae:  Thank you so much.  I can use all the good vibes I can get right now.  You are so sweet!  By the way, I hope you are feeling better now. Smiley Happy

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Tenngal--I'm so sorry about your shoulder.  Oh that must suck.  I have good friends who have major problems with pain.  Including my Dad.  He'll be 77 in 2 weeks and plays tennis 2-3 times a week (in the winter they play indoors) and he got in some trouble with his back. He had some shots in his back and they really helped for a while.  My roommate had steroid shots in his back in the Airforce at 22, never had pain again.  One of my best friends was in a terrible car accident 10 years ago which she will never heal from but when she got shots it helped her.  So hopefully they will have a good effect on you!

Thanks for all your caring about me. It means a lot.  I don't want to start crying again so I'm gonna go now.

ttys

Kati

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Well, maybe some of you have noticed that I haven't been spending as much time on BT recently, which is because of this pain in my shoulder.  I went yesterday to find out the results of my MRI and I sat in the doctor's office and cried.  I found out my shoulder has degenerative joint disease and it's full of arthritis.  Since the cortisone shot I got a month ago didn't help at all, I was actually hoping the MRI would show it was something that could be fixed with surgery and not something that I'm going to have to live with and that's just going to get worse.  I have to go to physical therapy for a month and if that doesn't work then the doctor said he'll send me to one of the shoulder doctors in the (ortho) group to do a scope and clean it out some to try to help it.  I can take a lot of pain...seriously I am not puny or a wuss when it comes to pain.  But this pain is worse than straight-out-of-surgery pain that I've felt before.  It sometimes makes me feel like vomiting it hurts so badly.  This has really made my depression worse, too.  Oh well, I've carried on long enough...I just wanted you all to know that if you don't notice me logged on as much, it's because I'm just not feeling good.  Thanks for listening...Smiley Happy

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Hey how are you?

 

i actually suffered from severe depression growing up and go on/off it now. I just wanted to tell you from personal experience,  to take each day slowly and surely. Be selflish and enjoy your day as best as you can!! If looking at puppies makes your day - DO IT. Turn to people and things that can put a smile on your face.

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K
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Wow, this board is full of courageous vibes....! @tenngal, I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis - I have read that fish oil capsules can help arthritis as a non-pharma remedy... Stay warm!

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Well, I've been down with another migraine...so add that to my shoulder pain...and my depression has gotten worse.  I've been in the bed with this #@*!#! migraine for the past few days, but I did get up yesterday morning and logged on to BT for a few minutes and answered some PMs and a few BT questions before feeling really bad again and going back to bed.  I think I'm finally over it (I'm almost afriad to say--or type--it out loud) ha, ha!

Anyway, I feel so out of the loop on what's going on with BT when I've been away for a few days...I guess I'll just have to try to get caught up.

Thanks for listening, ladies...Smiley Happy

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About a month ago my therapist figured out that I don't remember any of my second marriage.  It was really weird b/c I didn't know I didn't remember it and she thought I just didn't want to talk about it.  But she was also our marriage counselor before we got divorced.  So, I talked to my family and friends about it and found out he was extremely emotionally abusive and that's why I had blocked the whole thing out.  So the next time I went to my psychiatrist  in Hershey I told her what my therapist and I had discovered and she asked me a bunch of questions and said you have PTSD.  And I thought great another diagnosis.  Well, I had to go back down to Hershey to be evaluated by their specialist in PTSD. and that was yesterday. And, well, living the life I have, let's just say I've had quite a few tramas.  And I had to tell this Dr. all of them. I had a 90  min appt..  And then they said they wanted to see me back next Tues. So I'm a freaking mess. It's like they opened a door and then didn't tell me what to do with it.  My therapist is on a leave of absence.  And I can barely stop crying.  And  since yesterday I've had the worst migraine I've had in a long time.  I'm writing on here just because I need to be doing something. Oh, and I forgot to tell then like a couple major things.  Like when I was living in an apartment by myself in Raleigh and I woke up in the middle of the night and there was a man standing there in my bedroom!  Now I chased him out, all 115 lbs of me in a t-shirt and underwear.  My bestfriend said she heard me scream a block and a half away.  It was this big event.  A whole bunch of cops came with a fingerprint guy. The one told me the same guy had been breaking into other women's houses but wouldn't tell me what he had done inside.  It was scary as you know what.  I can't believe I forgot to tell them about that.  But if anyone wants to know if I'm ok - I'm not.- and my head hurts.

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Oh, Kati, I've been thinking about you lately and hoping that you were well. Then this AM when I read your "finally" post, I was worried for you. My heart goes out to you, you have certainly had enough trauma for a whole bunch of unfortunate people!

 

Hershey does have some fabulous physicians and therapists there, I go there occasionally when I damage my body doing some extreme sport, so hopefully they can help you make sense of your life.

 

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Do you have your family there to support you? I hope you're able to work through everything and get rid of the migraines....you don't need them on top of everything else.

 

Did you & prettyinpa know that when you're in Hershey you're close to the Lancaster Sephora? Probably only about half an hour or so. I used to have to go to the one in King of Prussia which is an hour away, so I was very happy when this one opened.

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No Daisy.  I had no idea.  That would be some good therapy.

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I feel like Sephora read today's post then gave me "Advise of the Week" to make me feel better.  Well if they did, it worked.  How vane is that?  LOL

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@katimae: I am so so sorry to hear about what has been happening. At  least the PTSD diagnosis means they will be addressing that particular issue as well and you may be able to get spme real relief!! You are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending healing energy.

Blessings!!!!!

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@daisy-  I had no idea that there was a Sephora in Lancaster!  Wow, more places to spend money, I can use the money that I'd normally spend on gas to buy more beauty stuff!!!! How fun is that!

 

Thanks a bunch!

 

 

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Yes there is one at the Park City mall on Harrisburg pike, just off route 30. I only live about 10-15 minutes from there so I'm there all the time Smiley Happy It's not as big as the one at King of Prussia, but very convenient and also less crowded.

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@katimae:  I am just getting caught up on this thread and read about your recent diagnosis of PTSD, etc.  I'm so sorry you've been feeling so poorly, both mentally and with the headache, too.  I've actually been thinking about you and that's why I popped into this thread.  I'll send you a PM later because I've been wanting to talk to you anyway.  You're in my thoughts and prayers! Smiley Happy

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In case you've noticed that I've barely been on Beauty Talk at all lately, it's because of my depression which has worsened lately.  Usually it lets up a bit in the spring, but not this year for some reason.  I just wanted to let all my BT friends know that I'm not ignoring you by not answering posts...it's just that I'm really struggling right now and although I'm trying to work through it, I'm having a tough time.  I've missed you all and hopefully I can myself back together and get back to Beauty Talking soon. Smiley Happy

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Hearing and reading other's stories of their struggles with an emotional disorder reminds me that I'm not alone. I've battled depression and an anxiety disorder off and on since I was 13 but wasn't properly diagnosed until I was almost 23 or 24. When it's at its worst I don't want to leave my apartment. I normally look for any excuse to get out of it. Along with my meds, I find that yoga and a good diet helps me as well as the support of friends and family.

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@shyvicki:  This thread has helped me in knowing that I am not alone, too, in my depression and anxiety disorder.  And I completely understand what you mean when you say that it's hard to leave your house at times.  I have to force myself to get out every few days even when I'm feeling at my worse because if I don't then I end up afraid to leave the house at all.  Thanks for sharing, shyvicki, and you are definitely not alone. Smiley Happy

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@tenngal:  Hey!  As I just said to shyvicki, it's been hard for me to come out of it this Spring too.  I'm absolutely starting to, but it's MAY!  I'm feeling like I usually do in March.  I blame the weather.  And I had that really bad run in with that Resident about my PTSD a few weeks ago and I've had a migraine ever since.  Sometimes low lying and sometimes bad, but always there.  I hope you feel great soon!  --Kati

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