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Post in Besides Beauty
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Getting My Husband to Understand

So, I'm a house wife and I sit at home all day with the dog bored out of my mind ( we moved to a new small town and I have no friends here NOR do I have a Sephora... its miserable). So I sit here and I do my make up. I try crazy new looks, or I will sit on youtube all day, trying to learn something new or just to hear peoples review on new products. Well, my hubby (bless his heart) doesn't understand my obsession with make up or why I have to buy something from Sephora almost every other week, or if we actually go out of town somewhere I check to see if there is a Sephora store lol. He always says " why do you need that?? you have too  much already, you pretty much have every color out there" NO! I don't have nearly enough, its never enough haha. I wish I had every color too. Everytime I get something, I will realize I need something else too. I finally told him ITS A HOBBY! Just like his hobby of fixing up his Bronco that will never run, or buying stuff for his dirt bike, or trying to buy a NEW dirt bike when he has one thats perfectly fine, or all the other really expensive hobbies he has himself. I think he is finally coming around to understanding... It only took him 3 years lol. Do you guys have this problem??? I think since, I clean his house and cook him dinner, I should be allowed this one, kind of expensive, hobby lol.

Re: Getting My Husband to Understand

I think my boyfriend gets it now. He's never complained about the amount of money I spend on makeup (he spends just as much on hunting clothes & equipment!) but he always used to tell me I don't need to wear makeup, I'm beautiful without it, I don't need to be insecure & hide behind makeup, etc. Which is fine, but eventually I got tired of hearing that, and I explained that I don't wear makeup because I think I HAVE to- I wear it because I WANT to. It's not like it's a chore...I enjoy putting it on. I explained that it's a form of self-expression, as well as a hobby. I love my makeup. I love looking at it in stores or on websites, I love reading about it, I love buying it & I love wearing it. Now I think he more or less gets it 🙂

Re: Getting My Husband to Understand

my fiance got mad at me after he patiently as he puts it put up with me shopping for "five hundreds "dollars of make up, it was no where near that much thanks to sephora just because i told him as long as you buy movies every month no net flix. so he used my make-up against me. get a part time job somewhere fashionable like a near by, just a drive away art gallery or as a receptionist at a beauty salon and he'll see it as functional. but trust me he needs to remember that this is something he fell for you over, it was a part of it, and if that werent there he would think you changed and not know how, cause men are blind. but he would tell you just the same if you werent into your appearance, hey who says you cant be the hottest thing in a small town? i live in a small town, i go to near by hot spots to get dressed up for atleast four towns away, and my man always feels good when he realizes in public who he has on his arm, even though he wont kiss me with lipstick on. so find away to make it functional, get the local mother to come over for you to give them make overs then show them where you got your make up, and you'll get your town back on the map. there are alot of beautiful people who have no make up on, you can help them feel good about themselves. and get to know them. then your man would also have to leave you alone, or tell him to go find a lumber jack if that's what he wants.

Re: Getting My Husband to Understand

I know this will sound sexist but my Grandmother  gave me this advise when I was getting married.

 

"Always make sure you put on lipstick before your husband comes home from work, that way you will look nice for him when he comes through the door tired after a long day at work".

 

I must admit I did not take her advise and my husband never complains about my makeup purchases. "But if he did I would simply say do you not want me to look good"?

 

 

 

Re: Getting My Husband to Understand

My boyfriend is somewhat understanding.  We went out of town and he went with me to 3 different Sephoras (there isn't one in our town).  He definitely will have his moments and ask me how I can tell the difference between this eyeshadow or that one or why do I need another blush. But he knows I enjoy it, he says he fell in love with me through my youtube channel before we started dating and a majority of my videos are makeup/beauty based.

 

I just tell him that my makeup obsession is like any other obsession.  People who love clothes can't wear 20 pairs of jeans at one time, why would you expect me to wear all my makeup at once as well.

 

I think guys understand more than they want to admit, it's just cause it's "girly" that they start to question itSmiley Very Happy

Re: Getting My Husband to Understand

I am very sorry that you go through all that. Fortunately I'm the professional in the family and my husband stays home and cleans, cooks dinner, and takes care of the kid. I buy something from Sephora every week and feel fortunate that my husband stood in line with me tonight for the F&F Holiday Sale Kickoff for an hour with me. You are right, you can never have enough. I have so much makeup I can start my own store and I still don't have enough. Although I have a full time career I also have a freelance artistry company so I can pretty much justify my purchases and it's tax deductable. If you like makeup so much you should attend classes to become a makeup artist. You can even work for a company like MAC and they will train you. That's an option if you want more makeup! Good luck!

Re: Getting My Husband to Understand

I don't think a lot of people understand, period -- sometimes even women perceive interest in beauty products and cosmetics as a shallow habit. Not so! I love the creative, artistic aspect of makeup; I love suggesting products I have tried and loved to my friends and and even doing their makeup when they ask me to -- there's something so rewarding about giving someone confidence and making them feel beautiful. It's so much more than a shallow interest -- to me, it's really an investment in yourself, and taking pride in the face that you put out to the world.

 

Does that make sense? Maybe it sounds lame, but I hope my trajectory / where I was trying to go with that is clear 🙂

 

Disclaimer: As I was rereading, I noted my Vanity Smurf avatar next to my "but this is not shallow!" post and wanted to specify that my interest is not at all vain -- I just thought it was cute, and all of my pictures were way too large for an avatar.

Re: Getting My Husband to Understand

Whenever my boyfriend comes over and takes one look at my vanity, it is always the same thing. How could anybody ever want this much makeup? On the first day he came over, he asked me if I wore all of it every single day...lol. When I told him the same thing about how it is a hobby, and no, I don't wear all of it every day, he started to understand, and will actually sometimes come with me to Sephora to give me second opinion :).

 

I think lots of us makeup junkies feel your pain!

 

Re: Getting My Husband to Understand

I think that part of the problem is that your husband (and most people...) assume that women wear makeup just to get the affection of men. That isn't true! Makeup is something that many women do for fun; I myself love trying out new ways of putting on makeup, experimenting with products to create a new me. It's like an art, my face is the canvas and I am the painter. I can be anyone when I put on makeup. Makeup isn't just something you wear to make your husband happy, it's something you do to make yourself happy!

 

 

 

Just make sure that you're not endagering your own financial stability/security with your purchasing habits.

Re: Getting My Husband to Understand

Yeah, you don't want to break the bank with your habit.

Now here's how you get them to hush up. When they start the routine, motion them into the bathroom. Carry your favorite glossy red lipstick. Say, "Watch." Apply the lipstick slowly, looking in the mirror, not at him. Don't do the usual "slap and go" thing. Put that lipstick on with precision and style. When you're through, press your lips together and look over at him. I guarantee, he will be slack-jawed and glassy-eyed. LOL. Then say, "You don't want me to give up this hobby, now do you?" I suspect you'll have a rendered speechless male on your hands. Pat him on the head and breeze by him, letting him think about that image for a while. That should take care of the issue. LOLOL.

Re: Getting My Husband to Understand

I'm just like you except I'm single, no kids, I have a Sephora less than 10 mins from my house and I rarely wear make up. I have over $2000 worth of make up and I am constantly buying from Sephora (mostly online). When people see my makeup collection or hear that I've gotten something new, they tell me I have 5 of the same pinks and you can't tell the difference between them. NOT TRUE!! I can tell the difference between them. I LOVE makeup. Your husband won't ever understand. Just tell him it's your guilty pleasure and keeps you sane just like his dirt bikes and his truck does. Smiley Wink

Re: Getting My Husband to Understand

Trust me you are not alone.  I to am a housewife and every day without fail I am on the Sephora website putting things in my cart.  I simply cannot help myself!  Some days I have control and do not click submit order but those days are few and far between.  My husband always says don't you have that already (eyeliner, lipstick, blush) well sure of course I do but a woman cannot live with only one color!  His comments used to bother me but now,  not so much.  If I want 15 lip liners so be it, he can go buy another screw gun, or weed whacker or whatever the heck he fills our shed with. (lol)

Re: Getting My Husband to Understand

My boyfriend doesn't get it either.  I LOVE to buy makeup and most of the time, it's some crazy color.  I tried pink and yellow shadows on the other day and, admittedly, I kind of looked like a My Little Pony but I thought it was awesome.  My guy just looked at me and said, "That's weird."  Or when I was trying to find a new perfume and I was having him smell me whenever I had a new one on.  He just said, "They all smell the same to me."  Maybe not all men are meant to understand what we see in makeup but I don't mind.  I don't understand the draw of cars or sports.  I guess I'll call it even.  🙂

Re: Getting My Husband to Understand

I've had the same problem as you with my husband.  He doesn't understand why I spend all my free time on Sephora's website or on youtube looking at different makeup products or viewing videos of different makeup application techniques.  I finally explained to him pretty much the same way you did to your husband that it is one of my favorite things to do and I could call it my hobby whereas he plays video games for hours and that is his hobby.  I think it helped put it into perspective so that he can relate to why I spend so much time playing with makeup, researching makeup, etc.  I think explaining your interest in makeup as a hobby is a great way to make a spouse understand.  I also pointed out to my husband that instead of buying handbags and shoes like a lot of his friends wives do, that I prefer to spend my extra money on makeup and using that example helped, too.  I know exactly where you're coming from...hang in there and keep enjoying makeup!Smiley Tongue

Re: Getting My Husband to Understand

Tell him these words, "happy wife, happy life" and that it makes you happy to doll yourself up... for him. 😉

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