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Post in Besides Beauty

Beyond Horrified!

Recently i signed up for a gym, there is a Man there who is the most disgusting pig on the planet, plus he's very rude!

 

let me just start by saying that i'm 5'4 and about 150 pounds, so i'm not the thinnest person in the bunch, but i'm actually very healthy and active, so regardless, the other day i was working out he literally walked over to me (i work out with a 40 year old women who is a little overweight) and i was alone, he goes to me "well good i'm glad your here, you don't wanna end up fat like your friend" and walked away,

 

i was beyond aggravated, there has been numerous times when he walks up to the machine im using and literally mid-use changes the weight from like 25 to 45 and tells me if i want to be pretty this is what i need to do. he'll stand there why i'm working out on the machines and watch me! 

 

i mean i have pretty tough skin, but i mean over time this man has become a nightmare, he even sells other women at my gym (or tries too) plans for weight loss and workout routines (even though the employee's are not allowed to do that) and he tells us don't be a**holes and tell the management and get him fired. 

 

personally, i go to an all women's gym, so this is the kind of behavior i was looking to avoid. 

i am beyond horrified with this man, i'm sick of dealing with it. i don't know what to do? 

Re: Beyond Horrified!

Its not too dramatic like i workout from 4-6 daily or every other day and its like i pay all this money and startup costs and i can't even enjoy it in peace!

 

i mean don't get me wrong, i HATE complaining i don't like the way people (employee's) treat you after

Re: Beyond Horrified!

His behavior toward you is inappropriate (both the comment and the shifting weights on the stack business) and he's in clear violation of the gym policy with the selling of weight loss and workout routines. He deserves to be fired. Report him to management. You didn't join for this kind of attitude toward you, and you need to raise some  h e l l. Don't tolerate being treated like that.

Re: Beyond Horrified!

First of all, if it's an all-female gym, why is this a-hole even working there? Geez. Don't hesitate--report him to mgmt!! Like knadala said, harassment is NEVER okay, and you should never have to deal with it when you're trying to get your sweat on in peace.

Re: Beyond Horrified!

lilahtov- the thing is that when you sign up for an ALL WOMEN'S gym i would assume the manager (being a women, and most of the other staff is women with the exception of her son who is never there) would understand that we didnt want to be around men, especially the kind that are so disgusting like this guy 

Re: Beyond Horrified!

REPORT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Beyond Horrified!

Well, I agree with the others, report him. If the management refuse to do anything, then contact the BBB and lodge a complaint.

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Re: Beyond Horrified!

Like so many users have already said, report him, make sure gym staff and management is aware of such lewd behavior. It's bad enough that he has verbally harassed you, but to take a physical go at things and tamper with equipment while it's being used is a whole other world that I'm sure the gym doesn't even want to risk going into. He's not only tampering with your health/safety (I mean, what if you had to use 25 pounds as a limit for health/medical reasons and more/heavier weights would be dangerous or harmful), but he's also bringing the gym up for risk of legal issues (not saying you would be the type of person to blame the gym for him touching the equipment, but neither him nor the gym know that).

 

By chance do you work out with your cell phone on you? Try seeing if you can film or record him hovering around you or harassing you. Even try speaking up with a "Excuse me, could you please not watch over me/touch my equipment while I'm using it? You're making me uncomfortable and I've never asked for your assistance or your presence to be so close to me." so it's on recording that you're trying to deter him.

 

 

Re: Beyond Horrified!

i plan on (today) if he continues to tell him straight forward to back off and leave me alone and stop touching my things, if the problem continues then i will def. make an appointment to speak to the manager

 

i do workout with my cell on me, and truthfully thats a great idea thank you

Re: Beyond Horrified!

If you begin recording, try not to start off with a harsh/rude "BACK OFF, CREEP!" comment, this might be interpreted as you striking out against someone random, especially if management has no idea what is going on. Try instead a "Excuse me, do you might giving me a little more room, I'll be happy to let you know when I'm finished if you're waiting for the machine!" if he doesn't initiate any verbal interaction, this way it reads as you acknowledging him, but putting things in a perspective that is still calm. Any non-harassing fellow would be like "Oh, surely!" or "I'm sorry, I didn't know I was so close!" but since he's intentionally standing so close, his demeanor and reaction won't be the same as someone who is honestly clueless on being so near while you're working out.

 

I hate to make it sound like you need to play victim and be helpless, but in a case like this, you don't want to be put in a position where it looks like you're provoking his lewd or rude behavior but rather just noticing it and acknowledging that it's not welcomed or asked for.

Re: Beyond Horrified!

This is so irritating. I would definitely report him and if the management does nothing I would tell them I want out. I also would tell him to back the heck off if he tried to change my weights. That doesn't seem safe at all. What a stupid guy.

Re: Beyond Horrified!

id tell him where to go and how to get there. the first time he did anything that rude.

Re: Beyond Horrified!

If you really want him to leave you alone, the next time he's near you, like adjusting your machine when you're on it, just loudly say "Stop touching me!" and I guarantee he will leave you alone.

Re: Beyond Horrified!

I agree with what others have said.  Talk to the management.  I would bring in a couple of other people who have had the same/similar encounters as you.  By doing this he can't backpedal, and say that you misunderstood.

Re: Beyond Horrified!

How rude!!! What is his problem? I would speak with management like the others have said. And who cares if you are an a**hole and tell management? He needs to be fired!

Re: Beyond Horrified!

Wow, that is so beyond not ok. Especially messing with the machinery while in use! That can be really dangerous! I'd tell management immediately.

Re: Beyond Horrified!

1) Report him to management.

2) Very LOUDLY (loud enough that others around you can hear) tell him to leave you alone next time he comes near you.

 

There's no reason you should be made to feel uncomfortable because of this creep. Chances are he does this to multiple people. Better show him that he can't get away with it with you. As a bonus, he may get bounced from the gym altogether. Smiley Happy

Re: Beyond Horrified!

Very VERY loud. Do NOT be afraid to make a scene. 

Re: Beyond Horrified!

Report him. Customers can bring sexual harassments claims against employees in a growing number of jurisdictions. (Sexual harassment claims don't necessarily just mean harassing for sex or in a lewd manner, but creating a hostile environment based on gender.) The threat alone of a lawsuit, combined with his violation of company policy should be enough to get this creep fired.

 

Lylysa's advice about recording him is excellent, I would definitely capture his behavior on video, especially since you aren't provoking him with verbal taunts or anything. Be polite, it makes your claim more believable and stronger to third parties. 

 

I am sorry you have to put up with this, this is inexcusable behavior. 

Re: Beyond Horrified!

Yup, since it's common to use phones as music players in the gym, try keeping in just one ear bud and acting like you're thumbing through song choices so that way you can hold the phone upright to film him or even move it around and in the air like you're searching for reception (even make frustrated faces to make it more convincing that you're genuinely trying to get your phone to operate right rather than blatantly holding a phone in front of his face.

Re: Beyond Horrified!

ITA with everything nikki said.  His behavior is abnormal.  You need to act like the rational adult in this situation so that your complaint is above reproach. Who knows just how unhinged this guy really is?  My SIL was assaulted by an overly "friendly" employee of a business that she frequented.  It turned out that he had assaulted a couple of other women who were also customers of the same business, but they were too afraid/ashamed to come forward when it happened to them Smiley Sad

Re: Beyond Horrified!

i am so sorry you are going through this! nobody should make anothr person feel so uncomfoortable. I understand how you can feel awkward  about reporting him or confronting him.what a DB! keep us posted, we are all rooting for you! too bad we can't all go with you...that would show him!!

Re: Beyond Horrified!

This is not someone being "rude" or "weird", this is harassment. Legally speaking, harassment is defined as "the act of systematic and/or continued unwanted and annoying actions of one party or a group, including threats and demands." The next time you go to your gym, request to privately speak with the manager and recount your experiences. Make sure action is taken and continue to follow up to monitor the follow through by gym management. You may even want to request a copy of the contract each member signs, as those tend to include guidelines for behavior whilst in the facilities. 

 

Power to you annoymous1, we all got your back here. 

Re: Beyond Horrified!

Definitely report him to the management.  this is sexual harassment and if its not taken care of it could escalate into something more dangerous.  And start documenting everything he says/does and when it happens.  Does your gym have surveillance cameras?  You could point out exact dates and times, and they could look it up on their cameras if they need proof.

Re: Beyond Horrified!

Some people take advantage of women because we are more socialized to be "nice" and not make an ugly fuss or cause problems. Now - try to shake that off for a bit. This guy would never approach men the way he is approaching women. Do two things 1) complain to management, and do it every time he bothers you. Be specific and calm about your complaints. 2)  Tell him directly not to talk to you and to leave you alone. Say something like "Don't talk to me and leave me alone."  If he continues to bother you or haggle w/ you, go directly at that time to management and complain again. If management does nothing then call their corporate office. 

Re: Beyond Horrified!

^^THIS. I kept thinking about this exact concept last night "Some people take advantage of women because we are more socialized to be "nice"" 

 

 

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