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Post in Besides Beauty

Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

I just received word that my boyfriend's father passed away today and his family is totally flipped on their heads about the news.

 

He had no physical ailments other than troubled knees and he wasn't sick, but he was found this morning at his home.

 

My boyfriend and I live together and his family still resides in his hometown which is about 6 hours from where we are. He was able to hit the road already to make it over and I'm looking to get things at work settled enough where I can take days off.

 

The last time we spent time and saw his father was at Thanksgiving, his parents are divorced and though normally tension can be quite thick and moments can be quite awkward  when everyone is back together, this time things were very civil and calm. It was surprising how relaxed the atmosphere was and for once I could see my boyfriend and his sister not have to fret over which parent to spend what part of the holiday with what parent.

 

Even though he's not my father or my family by blood, he has accepted me with a loving heart since the day I met him and never hid the fact of how much he loved seeing his son with me being so happy.

 

Just needing some good vibes and thoughts right now, not just for myself, but more for my boyfriend and his family. Beauty Talk has never ceased to amaze me with how supportive and loving we all can be to one another and it's because of that which draws me to share this moment. Some of you might recall a year and a half back when my boyfriend's grandma passed due to Cancer, I'm just hoping that in a time like this I can still turn to you all. *hugs*

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Oh my goodness lylysa, I am so sorry to hear this. It really is special that your boyfriend's father accepted you so lovingly.  I'll be thinking good thoughts of peace and happiness for you, your boyfriend and his family.

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Thank you very much for your thoughts, Roxy! I was really surprised too, his entire family actually has been nothing but warm and kind since day one and I consider myself so fortunate to have them in my life.

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs for you and your boyfriend's family. I still miss my in-laws every day. They were so sweet and treated me like their own daughter. I will keep you in my thoughts. xoxoxo

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Thanks, ShinyMagpie! Your hugs are definitely something that brings a smile.

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

My sincerest condolences for your loss.  

   

 

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Thank you so much, Rdesigns! Seeing your kitty avatar and the pic Calamity just posted just makes me want to curl up into a giant blanket and sleep this day away!

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

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Im so sorry for your loss, I just don't know what to say at times like these- but know we are here for you-

 

like the kitty pic, we surround you with love Smiley Happy

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Thank you so much, Calamityjane! And yes, that pic does say it all and I am so grateful to you and everyone here for your kindness and support!

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

lylysa,

 

I'm so sorry to hear of such sad news for you and your boyfriend.  This must be not only painful but also shocking since you mentioned that he had no physical ailments.  Saying good bye to someone is never easy but when it comes completely out of the blue is something entirely different.  I know exactly what this feels like and I'm sad that one of our BT sisters has to go through it.  I wish there was more that I can do to comfort you both.  Sending you and your bf my prayers and positive thoughts during such a difficult time.  Big hugs!

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Your words are so touching, thank you so much, LolaVal! *HUGS*

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

How lucky you were to share a good relationship with your boyfriend's father.  This makes it hurt more but your boyfriend and his family will be glad to have your support, knowing that it is heartfelt.  Sending positive thoughts your way.  Be sure to take care of yourself in the midst of caring for others.

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Thank you, Comfyrock, and just like your name, you gals are the strong rocks that I can lean on in a time like this.

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

I don't really have any great words of advice, I'm just happy that he has someone like you to help him get through this! I can tell you are a very selfless, giving person. Maybe just don't take it personally if he is angry at the world or moody. Maybe take a special trip later? I can say from when my dad died that it was really rough (I met my now husband a week later), but now I feel a spirit connection to the universe, and it's nice to see my dad alive and healthy in dreaming. Totally rough for it to be so sudden, that wasn't the case for me and my dad. PM me if you need anything!

 

On a spiritual note, I wouldn't say this to him, but I don't really believe death exists. My father is still out there.

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Yes, I didn't find out until later about this and though it did skim my mind of "Why didn't he tell me sooner/right when he found out?" I know after getting the news his first thought was on how could he be there for his family and it's that effort and heart that I love so much about him. I'm just hoping he arrives safe to his family, I hate feeling in limbo as I wait to get news and take things from there but I know there's no other option and being rash isn't what this calls for.

 

I really appreciate what you have to say and I know his father will and is definitely living on, I just hope the grieving process doesn't have to be any harder on anyone than what it has to be.

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Definitely takes time...for me it's been hard because my dad passed on xmas eve, so I used to really dread the holidays. I don't dread them anymore, but I don't love them either. Definitely so hard because it's a part of you...my mom and I aren't very close now, so sometimes it's difficult to not feel alone in the world.

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

I hope there comes a time where things with your mother open back up and the world won't feel so distant. I definitely know it will take time, to me, as long as you are still willing to give time and take the time, then healing will never be turned away.

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Thank you lylysa, really appreciate how caring you are! You take time to help me when you are going through something so difficult, thank you!

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

I'm sorry to hear this.  Death can be difficult to deal with in and of itself, but especially when it's unexpected like this.  Sending positive thoughts to you and your boyfriend and family. 

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Thank you so much, Feline! I don't think anyone could have braced themselves. His sister just spoke with their dad a day ago and he just spoke to him two days ago. What a world!

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Yeah, it's crazy.  Just in the past few years, my boyfriend has lost 2 of his friends (they were in their 20s).  Needless to say, those were incredibly difficult funerals to go to.  Especially when you see what the parents have to go through in grieving the loss of their child- just complete looks of shock, disbelief, and grief.  And the siblings, it's horrible.  But the internet can be a powerful resource- memorial pages were created on facebook so that people could share pictures and offer words of support. 

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Lylysa, I am so sorry to hear about you and your boyfriend's loss. I know nothing I say can ease your or your loved ones heart, but we are all here for you. I'm sure his father was happy to see his son with a wonderful woman before he passed, and knows that you will help him get through this difficult time.

 

Keeping you and your loved ones in my thoughts<3

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