Why makeup is so important to me

[reginamcg]

I've been thinking about posting something like this for a bit but it's a boring Sunday morning so I thought that I'd post what I've been thinking on here.


I am a trans woman and I am a drag performer. I still present as male a large majority of the time for my well being. Because of this I deal with a lot of gender dysphoria/body dysmorphia and also a whole bunch of self confidence issues.

However, whenever I get the chance to let the true me out it is amazing. The main reason is that I've come very far with my makeup skills. I'm definitely not a professional or even a good amateur but my skills suit me. When I beat my face something fierce I feel those insecurities and those whispers in my head melt away. I feel like the true woman I am inside. If it wasn't for makeup I wouldn't be able to feel confident and fierce so I am grateful.

If anyone else has a story like this feel free to share. I've just been thinking about this and thought this would be a great place to post it. 🙂

[Nickelliebear1]

@reginamcg I'm so happy you were able to find an outlet, where you feel comfortable coming and sharing your thoughts and being transparent.  It might seem silly to be taking such a huge step on the Internet, but you coming on the BT forum could help open up the eyes of someone who is going through the same thing.  

I also suffer from depression and my own share of demons, so I understand how hard it is to get out there.  Have you ever thought about finding a creative outlet, like a blog?  The reason that comes to mind would be because of another post on here, where there was a mention of not a ton of support for ladies who have recently transitioned or are in the process. While it seems like it would be beneficial to those who are going down the same boat, it could also help get you a little more comfortable with the idea of living life in a way you'd feel more confident.

I'm sure you know how many Youtube tutorials are out there.  I'm less likely to sit down and watch a full tutorial (I have no attention span) but there are a ton of amazing glam tutorials on Instagram.  I get notifications from FakeupFix, which is an account that shares other's looks and mini tutorials.

[fairlywell]

This thread stuck with me today, and I just wanted to throw a thought out there. I've been doing a little volunteering with a women's shelter (mostly meals) and I've noticed that trans women there are especially lacking in support (relatable support?), particularly the young/ recently transitioned. @reginamcg I think you would be such a breath of encouragement if you were willing to spend time being awesome in that setting.

[reginamcg]

I'm truly honored that you'd hold me in such high regard, but, I don't think I'd be good since I'm not living full time/haven't transitioned yet. I also have social anxiety so I'm not sure how good I'd be at that.

[fairlywell]

I get that, or enough of it. Glad you feel comfortable here being yourself!

[Tamara76]

Thank you so much for sharing your story!  This is a perfect place to post it!  @reginamcg

It is super important to embrace your true self and I think you are doing a great job with your makeup application skills! Your "what are you wearing" looks are fabulous!

I also totally relate to what you said about makeup making you feel more confident and fierce - I am a woman, but I feel the same way.  I wouldn't say I am insecure, but I just feel way more comfortable in a full face of makeup - even if I'm just running to the pharmacy or convenience store. 

Hugs to you! ❤️

[reginamcg]

I'm glad you enjoyed and thank you for saying that! You totally get where I'm coming from as well. Makeup is the most customizable thing we can do to ourself. When I'm wearing it I just feel powerful and strong.

[themusefactory]

@reginamcg I dated a guy in my teens who is going through this right now, I recently reconnected with him again and saw his makeup consisted of a couple Mary Kay samples, and I'm on a mission to get him a kit to play with and help him define his style and also just to have fun. Right now he's presenting as male/androgynous and I know it's hurting his heart. Here is how I'm doing it - budget friendly style, in case this could help you as well. 

1. Talk to your friends that support you. They probably have makeup that they don't want! Anything that's not mascara or with a doe foot applicator can be sanitized and free is always good! 

2. My local Sephora is super amazing! They are really supportive of the community and they are always happy to make samples. And they can give you tips! Samples go a long way if you want to try something! Free again, and also rad! 

3. If you feel comfortable, Mac is also SUPER nice. If you go to a counter, ask them for samples. they generally have mascara that they will give you  and they will for sure give you tips and tricks. (Most counters will do this if you're open and honest though some counters are more friendly than others and I'd start with Mac if you're unsure) Also check the sales threads, right now Mac has the minis for 5 dollars and free shipping- pigments, mascara, and lipgloss!

4. Trade/Swap - there is a trade thread here. If you have items that haven't worked out, take a look there to see if there are items you'd like to try! 

5. I really like Joseph Harwood for tutorials as he covers facial feminization tutorials and a lot of other good content! 

Hope this helps!

xo

[reginamcg]

Thanks for all the tips! It's hard because I fear about being beaten up and dealing with people saying stuff about me. I wish I could live full time but having social anxiety and depression already I think it's the best for me that I don't live as a woman.

[themusefactory]

@reginamcg Okay, here's my thoughts, of course I don't know you super well, but I want to give you something to ponder and if doesn't apply, please ignore me! 

I'm generally very sorry about the anxiety and depression, I'm a fierce advocate for mental health and I know how much your brain can work against you. I'm sending big hugs your way. 

In terms of your journey, it's yours only. So whatever that journey is, I wish you so much happiness. 

As for being beaten up, I can understand from my friend who feels the same way you do. In terms of comments, you're going to get those either way (I sure get some doozies of comments from idiots as a cis female). People are ignorant. Even if your outlet for expression is small or just online, people who decide to be cruel are never the ones that matter.

If you live in a place where you feel physically threatened, all the tips still apply, but you can always go in presenting as male. I think you'd find that people are much more understanding than you might imagine in the makeup world! What you choose to tell them is completely and totally up to you! 

[reginamcg]

Thanks for the kind words! Makeup has been amazing way to meet people

and also get tips at the same time as well.

[fairlywell]

@reginamcg I hope this is an ok thing to say - your makeup skills are very good, in your posts I've seen here it had not occurred to me that you are trans. You look amazing!

[reginamcg]

@fairlywell omg no problem at all! That means a lot thank you so much!

[reginamcg]

@veronika23 yes I do watch a lot of stuff off of YouTube but I usually just end up being like wow this looks nothing like the person did hahahaha but technique was it definitely helps alot

[veronika23]

@reginamcg  I'm glad makeup makes you feel this way. 🙂  I always loved playing with makeup... it's like a form of art/self-expression you know. I love seeing the more artistic side of it too. Some people are really talented.

[reginamcg]

I'm definitely trying to grow my artistic side of it for my drag performing but that process is coming very slowly. But even not being "artistic" it still makes me feel fierce as heck.

[katgoulding]

You are artistic!!! And most certainly fierce as heck!!! It's generic but consistent practice really does make perfect ❤️

[reginamcg]

@katgoulding: thank you so much! you are seriously so sweet! 🙂

[veronika23]

@reginamcg  I totally agree with everything @katgoulding  said. Practice does make perfect for sure. You totally rocking it! Just keep doing your thing 😉

Oh forgot to mention... when I was younger I'd get my makeup done at MAC at times and pick up tricks from them. So I always found it was helpful to get someone to do my makeup and watch them so I could replicate. 🙂

[reginamcg]

Thank you @veronika23! I usually am poor so can't really afford to get my makeup done unfortunately hahahaha.

[veronika23]

That's alright @reginamcg. I just mentioned that because that's how I picked up some tips... Youtube wasn't really a thing then 😄