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Post in Beauty Confidential

My Story...On Beauty.

***EDIT*** To whomever is reading this today in 2017: I am looking back at this post and cringing because I've gone past that teenage era of being depressed, sad, angry, and insecure. (And because I can't delete this post, ahaha!) I sincerely apologize to anyone who feels weird, disgusted, and sour reading the post below. I was such a naive, sad young girl. However, I am leaving this post the way it is because I hope that this post can help and inspire some other beautiful gal/guy in some strange, great way. And this is my proof of my journey in life. I have continued to use make-up and I am currently in a position where I can stand-up for myself in using make-up and loving it! I still have so many insecurities, but even though it has taken me so many years to get to this point of more comfort and reassurance with myself... I can say that everyone can do it, too! Baby steps every day! All the best to everyone! xx <3

 

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I'm 16 years young and I'm in high school. I've been using make-up since I was 12. I'm really enthusiastic outside, but on the inside I'm just dying of sadness. I usually get comments saying I'm really perky and energtic, but this is my darker side. And I would like to share it with all of you. This is what really grinds my gears sometimes...

 

I am still experimenting with make-up right?? Becasue I just love it!! And it's like people are judging me and my looks before they really get to know me. I am a very open-minded person, but it's like people don't want to see beyond my foundation, blush, primer, eyeliner, and everything else. That's why I feel really isolated and alone all the time. I do have close friends, but I haven't really found anyone with this passion I have. It's so hard. I've been dealing with depresion and bi polar disorder for the past 2 years. I've become a completely different person, regarding looks, personality, and my perspective of my life and the world. My parents don't understand that I wear make-up becasue I'm so self-conscious. I'm self-conscious becasue I'm a pretty curvy girl, even though a lot of people compliment on my looks, calling me beautiful. But how come I don't feel that way? I'm curvy and so what?! I don't need to be crazy skinny in order to look good in clothes from Urban Planet or Aeropostale. That's the problem with society. I wish people would be a litle more sensitive...even with me. It's really difficult having to cope with people who are so biased of me, wearing make-up and having this grudge (which I don't know) against me. I am probably only one of the 5 girls in my school who is high maintenance with make-up. I've been told that make-up enhances your beauty and your features and not add beauty. I've been told that make-up is a type of politeness and class and ethic and respect. How come I don't feel that way about it either and feel like a freak when I am the only on the the room who wears make-up? It makes me upset. And I'm crying just writing this. Smiley Sad

 

I really would like to thank all of you beauty gals for making me feel welcome here and OK about wearing make-up becasue I feel like you guys are my friends and family, giving me such great advice and talking with me about our obsessions. It's great. And thanks for reading my story and connecting with me. It really means the world to me. Smiley Happy 

 

xoxo,

JChristinaC19 <3

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

Hi, JChristina19!  I want to specifically echo what @Meg82 said.  I suffered from Bi-Polar Disorder from childhood until it was finally diagnosed about five years ago.  A closely aligned mental health team along with medication and non-medication treatments in helping you manage your health issues.

 

I'm glad make-up make you happy.  It's nice that you've found a hobby that you have such an interest in.  There could be some jealously there from others.  Even if you're starting out, in their eyes, you good at when you're doing, which means they are not getting the attention.  If you think they're interested in what you're doing and they're just to embarassed to ask you about what you're doing, maybe one day when you try something new...a new nail design, a completely did eyeshadow, anything...casually bring up, "Hey, I'm trying something completely different with ______.  I was just curious what you think?"  This comes from actual events in my life; it just didn't involve make-up.

 

I also want to pass along something I learned in a training class I took 15 or 20 years.  I don't remember what the class was, but I specifially remember this trick because it still comes in handy for me.  When someone compliments you on your make-up--that's a good thing--don't pooh-pooh that!  Here's what you do, you say, "Thank you!" and on the inside you say to yourself "Yes, I know!"  When we practiced this in class we actually had to the "Yes, I know!" outloud.  So practice in front of a mirror.  I still have to say this if I'm being complimented by a big-wig in our company.  It may not be the compliment that you want, but most people do not give out compliments just to be nice.  It's a lot easier for that person just to walk by and give you a smile or say, "Hi!"  But that person took the time to say you look nice.

 

Finally, if you're one of only a few girls who wears make-up and you want to find someone who has your passion, start a one day a week after school course.  You could teach (even though your new to learning make-up) other girls how to use make-up.  You could call it on-the-job training since you're learning to.  Maybe you can use school resources and access some of the really good blogs such as Temptalia's blog (for one example).  To learn what to look for when looking at make-up.  You could take "field trips" to Sephora or any department store make-up counter.  But be the leader and say we are a club from _____HS and we are hear to learn more about make-up.

 

Whatever you do, do NOT take what others say or do to you personally!  You are NOT in the wrong.

 

"In order to feel good, you must look good!"

- Fernando

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

I agree with everyone here and everything that has been Said. I just have to reiterate, high school is so tuff.... Just hang in there once you get out in the world you will find it is so much easier,  and its like the pressure is off.  

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

JChristina19, I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of this negativity, but I think it is really great that you decided to reach out on BT - please continue to do so! I would recommend also reaching out to those people in your life who you can trust, who are open-minded, and who are respectful of the great person you are.

 

I am 27, and I want to tell you that so much changes so quickly after high school. So. Much. I do believe that things will get better for you. Just be strong, be confident, and have the courage to be your own person. It sounds like you already are doing so well in these areas, and you would be surprised how many people you go to high school with are likely not. In high school I was valedictorian, dated the football captain, and was a decorated athlete in my own right. People told me all the time they wished they had my "perfect" life. What I never admitted until a few years ago is that throughout my entire adolescence I felt terrible about myself - I was insecure, I wasn't my own person. I stood up for nothing. I am telling you this just to illustrate the point that regardless of someone being in the "popular" group, being an "outsider," or whatever, most people are going through things in high school. Add on top of that peer pressure and fluctuating hormones, and it's a really tough place to be. I would venture to guess that those people who have the most negative things to say are the same ones who are also the most insecure themselves. 

 

It is great that you are already being your own person and doing the hard work of dealing with your feelings. Keep it up! And easier said than done, but please, please don't let what anyone else says about you or your decisions negatively affect you because being true to yourself is a beautiful thing.

 

And one more thing...I found that when I went to college there were so many different people on campus. There were groups and activities for people with all sorts of differing likes, dislikes, and personalities. This allowed me to find the courage to develop a true sense of myself and get involved in things that actually matter to me a lot. However, college is not the only place to do this. Think about something that you think might be interesting to try, and find somewhere to do this. Take an art class, take a class at a community college, volunteer somewhere. Or start your own interest group! If you don't like something, on to the next. If you do like something, keep going back to it, and you will find that you are likely going to make friends with the same interests as you.     

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

I felt compelled to respond to you because when I was young (from 15 on), I would not leave the house without foundation.  I never had porcelain skin, but I think the real reason was insecurity.  Even after I was married, I made my husband turn around and go home, making both of us late for work, because I had forgotten my foundation.

 

Fast forward to now, I am 57 years old, have hardly worn any makeup in years, feel better in my skin that when I was 25 and wrinkle free.  My choice to not wear foundation is partially because I think it can look make women my age look older but, more importantly, every year after 30 you gain confidence and care a little bit less what people think, so by my age, you do not give a sh@#$t, and you have realized that you cannot please everyone anyhow.

 

So what am I doing on Sephora.com.  Well, I decided that I could play with makeup, enhance my look, because I feel like it (and because my gay friends like to say, "would it KILL you to use product in your hair and some mascara."

 

Your pain spoke through your email, but I hope that you embrace, at a much earlier age than I did, that you don't need to caulk your face with a complete layer to protect yourself from the world (it doesn't work anyhow).  I wish you good luck, and feel great empathy, because I do not believe that things have gotten much easier for women since I was your age; the opposite may be true.

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

Its hard to see now, but life gets better. This is the time when you have to decide whether you are going to overcome your obstacles or let them defeat you. The older you get, the more your passion and strength is appreciated. When they hate on you for no reason, it's jealousy. You must be something special for others to all take notice of, don't sell yourself short. 

 

"They laugh at me because I am different, I laugh at them because they're all the same."

 

 

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

I'm so happy to hear that this community has brought you some joy - we are made better by your presence and contribution as well!  It sounds like you're really going through a lot right now, and as an old **bleep** (well, I'm 24, but I feel really old lately, ha!) I want you to know that having such a great sense of identity is an amazing and wonderful thing.  It sounds like you're figuring out who you are and being true to that, and that's admirable!

 

I also really want to say that the kind of internal pain you're carrying around shouldn't be ignored.  It sounds like you're having kind of a rough time right now, and I really encourage you to talk to someone about it.  Life can be tough, and you should NEVER be afraid to ask for a little bit of help when things feel overwhelming.  Whether you say something to your parents, a school counselor, a teacher, or a relative, seek out a responsible and trusted adult and let them know how you've been feeling.  See if you can make an appointment with a professional who might be able to give you some really great advice about how you can feel better and grow.

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