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Post in Beauty Confidential

My Story...On Beauty.

***EDIT*** To whomever is reading this today in 2017: I am looking back at this post and cringing because I've gone past that teenage era of being depressed, sad, angry, and insecure. (And because I can't delete this post, ahaha!) I sincerely apologize to anyone who feels weird, disgusted, and sour reading the post below. I was such a naive, sad young girl. However, I am leaving this post the way it is because I hope that this post can help and inspire some other beautiful gal/guy in some strange, great way. And this is my proof of my journey in life. I have continued to use make-up and I am currently in a position where I can stand-up for myself in using make-up and loving it! I still have so many insecurities, but even though it has taken me so many years to get to this point of more comfort and reassurance with myself... I can say that everyone can do it, too! Baby steps every day! All the best to everyone! xx <3

 

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I'm 16 years young and I'm in high school. I've been using make-up since I was 12. I'm really enthusiastic outside, but on the inside I'm just dying of sadness. I usually get comments saying I'm really perky and energtic, but this is my darker side. And I would like to share it with all of you. This is what really grinds my gears sometimes...

 

I am still experimenting with make-up right?? Becasue I just love it!! And it's like people are judging me and my looks before they really get to know me. I am a very open-minded person, but it's like people don't want to see beyond my foundation, blush, primer, eyeliner, and everything else. That's why I feel really isolated and alone all the time. I do have close friends, but I haven't really found anyone with this passion I have. It's so hard. I've been dealing with depresion and bi polar disorder for the past 2 years. I've become a completely different person, regarding looks, personality, and my perspective of my life and the world. My parents don't understand that I wear make-up becasue I'm so self-conscious. I'm self-conscious becasue I'm a pretty curvy girl, even though a lot of people compliment on my looks, calling me beautiful. But how come I don't feel that way? I'm curvy and so what?! I don't need to be crazy skinny in order to look good in clothes from Urban Planet or Aeropostale. That's the problem with society. I wish people would be a litle more sensitive...even with me. It's really difficult having to cope with people who are so biased of me, wearing make-up and having this grudge (which I don't know) against me. I am probably only one of the 5 girls in my school who is high maintenance with make-up. I've been told that make-up enhances your beauty and your features and not add beauty. I've been told that make-up is a type of politeness and class and ethic and respect. How come I don't feel that way about it either and feel like a freak when I am the only on the the room who wears make-up? It makes me upset. And I'm crying just writing this. Smiley Sad

 

I really would like to thank all of you beauty gals for making me feel welcome here and OK about wearing make-up becasue I feel like you guys are my friends and family, giving me such great advice and talking with me about our obsessions. It's great. And thanks for reading my story and connecting with me. It really means the world to me. Smiley Happy 

 

xoxo,

JChristinaC19 <3

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

Oh, JChristinaC19- don't let the words of small minded people affect how you feel about yourself. You are brave for putting up with all this and you shouldn't feel like a freak because you enjoy makeup. Some people are into sports, some are into music, some are into art, you are into makeup as an art form, and if they don't like it, they can lump it!
Call upon us anytime, we are here for you always.

 

Hugs!

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

In reference to be "crazy skinny" I'm just gonna say this: Who's place is it to judge you and tell you how skinny you can be before your allowed to feel good?  In my opinion no one but you. You are your own person and honey throw the confidence out there like a 95 mile an hour fast ball. Seeing someone for who they are on the inside should always be seen first,but unfortunately that's not how society is and that's sad but personal outside beauty is always judged first and that's always how it is going to be. You should be your own person and stand up and be strong on any subjects that you don't agree with and let them  know how you feel,and as for makeup you make that your own no matter what anyone says if it makes you feel good to wear it, then wear it and have fun and make it your own. Beauty has alot of  definitions and you as a person should let no one define you because deep down I know your a beautiful person and I'm sure that shines through everyday.Heart

 

I'm a smaller person and I love wearing makeup, although I don't have your situations to deal with I'm still a strong stand up defining person on how I feel and that makes me the individual I am. Stay Strong and avoid the negativity sweetie girl, some of those not so nice comments come from people who may not feel so good about themselves and criticizing you is the only way they know to make themselves feel better. Your always a beautiful person inside and out when your here with us.

 

Just carry our thoughts with you through out they day and know you have a huge group of friends who love you just the way you are!

 

BIG HUUUUUGS!

 

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

Don't worry too much about what the other kids say about you and the fact that you wear makeup, believe me, every kid in your school has something that they feel self conscious and alone about no matter how cool they try to act, often times when someone is pointing the finger at you its because they are trying to deflect attention away from their own feelings of inadequacy.

 

Don't let anybody dull your shine!

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

I'm sorry Smiley Sad

 

I thought I would tell you a story of how I can relate, maybe it will make you feel better? I'm 14 and I wear makeup to school. People at my school do wear makeup, but only eye makeup. I wear my face makeup as well, and people used to always make fun of me for covering myself. For some reason, they thought that if someone was wearing foundation, they were trying to be too perfect. But people just don't understand.

 

Makeup gives you confidence. And if people are still willing to make fun of you and how you look and how you are, then that's their problem. If they are so focused on bringing you down when you just want to feel better and prettier, then they aren't even worth it. I know it's hard, but what I did was stopped caring. I always told myself that these people won't even matter when we graduate. 

 

Even though I wasn't depressed and had bi polar disorder, I hope that I could relate enough to help you.

 

But one last piece of advice: grab some tissues, and buy yourself something nice. I ALWAYS feel better when I have something new in my hand.

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

I was the smart curvy girl with glasses in high school. Since I was smart and not stick thin like the rest of the girls I went to school with I was terribly shy and self-conscious. So wearing make-up was self-defense. I was bullied by a girl who lived across the street from me, she picked on me at school, she would have parties at her house and TP my trees. My all-time favorite was when she and a group of her friends wrote slurs all over my dad's truck with lip liner, lipstick & eye liners. It was a living nightmare. As much as my parents wanted to help and understand, they really couldn't. As a result, I ended up more shy and withdrawn, which made things worse. Add to all of that the normal teenage angst & I have no idea how my poor parents made it through.

 

It took me a long time to realize and decide that what others say or think about you isn't important. When I was younger and my mom would tell me that things would get better I totally didn't believe her. Now I know it does, you just have to be strong enough to hold you head up and do what makes you happy. I wear make-up to enhance the things I love about me, I wear clothes that make me feel pretty and I wear shoes/jewelry that makes me feel polished and put together. If wearing make-up makes you happy, then you should wear it and hold you head high. I agree with tashalicious, the person pointing is the person who is feeling the most inadequate.  It's just sad that the only way they can build themselves up it to tear someone else down. That is the truth at 16, 21 and even 40.  You just need to be true to you and ignore the voices of everyone else. Once you do that everything else seems to fall into place.  Big Hugs!

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

Don't let their comments get to you, honestly, everyone has things that they are insecure about, that it feels like EVERYONE else notices and must talk about when you're not around. Often it's something other people only notice if they see you're insecure about it and draw attention to it yourself. And high school is just a difficult thing, you have so many people all stuck together in one place, still trying to figure out who they are.

 

You usually can't do that until you have a chance to explore the world outside your school and group of classmates you might have known for quite some time. Never mind the fact that everyone is still growing up, some people are much more mature by this point than others, so they can't always relate to how you feel because they're not there yet. It's hard enough for lots of people even without the added burden of depression on top of things. Some people will be lucky enough to never experience the feelings you're dealing with now, so they may never understand how hard it can be. If they tell you you're pretty as you are and don't NEEEED makeup, it's usually their way of trying to help you feel better, but they don't or can't realize that it leaves you feeling misunderstood and more conflicted. The only opinion that matters is your own! If you feel more powerful and confident with makeup and you enjoy wearing it because it's fun and makes you happy, then rock it! I bet later on when other girls are trying to learn how to do makeup properly they will be singing a different tune! 

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

Wow I'm so sorry to hear that you have to deal with this! I hope you know that you're not alone though, I've struggled with my self image throughout high school and have had multiple people make comments about how the fact that I wore a lot of makeup made me fake. Some people are just rude and hurtful and will do/say anything to try and bring you down, and the best way to be at peace with that is to ask yourself one question: how does wearing makeup make you feel? If it makes you feel more confident and better about yourself, it really doesn't matter what anybody else thinks! Seriously, when it comes to your appearance the only opinion that should count is your own (: And if anybody judges you based on your appearance, they're completely shallow and not worth your time anyway. Keep your head up beautiful!!!!!!!

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

I'm so sorry that you're sad.  Think of makeup as artistic expression, a way to be creative.  Some folks are very vibrant and artistic, some are low key and not so creative.  Neither is right, it's just how you express yourself.  I do connect with you, and hope you can be happy with yourself, as you are.

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

I know it's hard but try not too worry about what others think of you. Look within yourself and decide what makes YOU happy. If makeup makes you happy, then wear it and wear it proud. I think if more people didn't care what others thought of them, we would all be happier. People would be free to express themselves without the fear of judgment from others. There would be no such thing as "weird or strange"....it would make the word "normal" obsolete. 

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

Thank you for sharing, I know how hard it can be. It's tough but be strong. I too honestly just love makeup and enjoy the application process. Personally I rarely go without, I know sometimes people judge you for actually spending time on something they find "superficial". The same way people can judge you for actually trying to dress well (wearing more than sweatpants to class in uni). Honestly what I have found is a great way to confidence is to always walk tall, walk with pride and purpose, it slowly just makes you feel great. Don't let other people's hangups get you down, usually they just don't understand or wish they could look that way themselves. 

 

Last of all as others mentioned, do what makes you happy Smiley Happy At the end of the day, this is what matters.

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

At 26 I can tell you that it does get better. When you are a teenager everything is just harder, your feelings seem to be magnified by ten, but that does get better. Hang in there girl! Listen to the people who know you, not the people who try to put you down because that's the only way they can feel good about themselves. You are amazing, beautiful, unique, talented and so much more loved than you can ever imagine!!

 

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

  My best friend is all against makeup. Every single tube of mascara.

But what she doesn't get is that I feel more confident with a sweep  of mascara, a touch of lip color, dab of eyeshadow. (I love Lancomes Honeymoon and Kitten Heel)

What hurts is that she says, " You honestly look better without makeup." It brings me down all over again. I've been through a lot in the past year, from an eating disorder, to a friend in our group that turned on us, and makeup is a way to make me feel better. Inside, I'm dying, but the makeup covers up some of it. Like you,people only see the happy, healthy you, the never really bother looking behind the lip gloss. 

I go for very natural, other people compliment, saying that I look so pretty, but what good is it is I didn't feel that way?

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

Hi JChristina19. I'm sorry you are feeling sad and maybe a little alone and let down. I know it is hard to go through things when you think no one understands and can relate to you. I think most of us here can relate in some way or another and ALL 16 year old girls go through things. They may not be the same things you are going through and some people can mask their feelings a little better so you may think your peers are not going through rough patches but I can pretty much guarantee they are. It is not easy to be a teenager and a female I think (ok maybe i am biased Smiley Wink ) is a bit harder because we have more things to worry about than boys ( and may i say boooo to that lol). The best advice I can give you (as a 35 year old woman who was once a 16 year old girl who though the world was against me) is to be positive, ignore the nasty things you hear and continue to experiment until you figure out what is best for YOU! These teenage years will be over one day and you will be the beautiful woman that you are meant to be and you will look back and first breathe a sigh of relief that the teenage years are OVER and then you will laugh about it with friends and family. Just be yourself and don't worry too much about others. Remember they are going through things too and some people like to put others down to make themselves feel better. it doesn't make it right at all but it gives you a little perspective! Enjoy these years and figure yourself out! Smiley Happy

SORRY that was a little long winded but obviously i had a lot to say. lol I was in your shoes once. Smiley Wink

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

As a middle school teacher, I can tell you that teenagers can be not so nice and even down right mean to others their own age.  I experienced this myself in middle school and high school.  As some other posters told you, it will get better.  High school is a difficult place to be.  Your body is changing and hormones that are going up and down constantly contribute to this too.  You are not alone, it might not be any consolation, but I promise you aren't.  You might find that some of your friends feel the same way you do, but are afraid to share it.  The highlight of my school career came in college.  It is so big and so different from high school.  I found it was the first time and place I was not judged.  People find other people that share common interests and learn to love new things.  With age, will come more self-confidence. 

 

Bipolar and depression are disorders that are difficult to manage.  Talk to someone.  Your parents?  If you can't, how about your school counselor?  Perhaps make an appointment yourself to see your doctor and talk with him/her about how your feeling.  In addition to the high school pressures you are feeling, the management of your bipolar and depression may need some adjusting.  This is common. 

 

Perhaps get involved in some sports?  I was not an athlete myself, but my parents got me involved with tennis.  It was great because it was an individual sport and the only pressure on me was the pressure I placed on myself, not from teammates.  You will be amazed at the effects exercise can have.  Research show that exercise is as effective for depression as medication is. 

 

Lastly, love yourself and enjoy experimenting with make up.  Have make up be an extension of yourself.  Don't worry what others think, be yourself, it will take you much further in life and love.

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

Oh honey, I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.

 

First off, bipolar and depression are really freaking hard to manage, trust me, I know from experience. Do you have a therapist and a psychiatrist you trust?  If not, work hard to get them, having a good mental health team can make all the difference.

 

As for the makeup stuff, you are the only one who can decide if it makes you feel good.  If it does, eff everybody else, wear it cause you love it.  If it is causing too many problems and so isn't making you happy, maybe wear a little less or only wear it on weekends.  You are the one who knows what's going on in your brain and body.  If makeup makes you happy, wear it despite the disapproval.  If it doesn't make you happy, don't wear it, or don't wear as much.

 

Teenagers can be really mean.  If you wear makeup in spite of their disapproval it demonstrates that you are a really strong person, and I applaud you.  Well, actually, the fact that you are surviving bipolar and depression makes me applaud you too.

 

You are a strong person, that's clear from your writing.  If you want any support on the bipolar/depression front feel free to message me. (that actually goes for anyone who is reading this, if you have mental illness issues and want to talk to someone who has been there, I'm around) 

 

*hugs*

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

I understand. Let me tell you this- it will get better.

You are going through a tough time in your life. It is tough being sixteen, period. Even more so when you are dealing with depression and feelings of being "on the outside"

But I promise you this, this does not last forever.

It is tough hearing others' thoughts and expectations on what you "should" be, especially when you're young. I am going to tell you that the only thing you "should" be is you. As you get older, you will become more comfortable with You. And YOU are beautiful and spectacular just because that is who you are.

We are all here to support you.

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

I would personally like to thank all of your for your kind, amazing words. I definietly feel so much better about myself and stronger. I don't get a lot of councelling outside becasue I'm busy juggling with my schook work and extra curriculars. I am seeing a social worker at my school, but it's not much actually. I only see her max. 30 minutes a day a week. It has sort of helped, but I still need that extra guidance when I'm at home. I try to stay busy i.e. doing sports, yoga, volunteering, writing, filming, etc. but I realize that even if I do stay busy the stress really overwhelems me. I often try to push myself over the limit just becasue I feel like it would give me a sense of pride. Does not work, let me tell you. My life in work just does not stop and seeing all of these encouraging and consoling comments are unbelieveable, I was not expecting people to reply so fast with such heart. I've always been rejected in my life, so that's why I wasn't expecting this. I'm crying right now...tears of joy. :')

 

I will message you girls if anything does go...the other way. But to be honest, I don't think it would happen becasue you'll always be here for me. I'll get through it. <3

 

Thanks and take care.

 

xo, 

JChristinaC19

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

Anytime no matter what if your feeling like your really down about something or just need to vent, you've got a whole new group of friends who love you to pieces and will be here for you!

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

Thank you. I know, it's VERY VERY evident. I love you gals soooooooo much!! xo Smiley Happy

Re: My Story...On Beauty.

Do not let anyone minimize/define you. You sound like a very smart,insightful young lady. I have found quite often the 'old souls' have a hard time until their chronological age catches up with how they feel inside. Having dealt with depression and anxiety I can sympathize with the person you feel like and the person people think they know. Keep on keepin on and know that life is beautiful (even for those of us that feel outside)!

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