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Post in Beauty Confidential

I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

I normally shop at Sephora alone for my retail therapy but was in a mall with my friends and we stopped in. My friend couldn't believe the prices, she kept saying how she can get a product like this or that at the drugstore. I tried not to engage in the conversation because it was making me feel a little guilty. I understand she has kids and I don't so I have the extra money to buy what I want but should I feel guilty about it? I choose my items carefully and some with some online research, I don't just but things because they are there. I feel like I can't shop with my friends there in the future because I wouldn't know what to say when they make those comments. Anyone else run into the same thing? What to do about it if it happens? 

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

You were right to take her comments with a grain of salt.

Though you shop at Sephora, your method is to do your research before investing in a product, so it's not like you're shopping all willy-nilly like (which even if you did, so what, just because it's not to your friend's practices doesn't mean it's wrong or something bad), so don't feel bad. Some folks just don't share the same views or approaches on things. If your friend choose to shop drug stores for her cosmetics (regardless of the reason), then fine, you didn't mention anything about you being all huffy and saying things like "Why don't you just spend on 'quality/expensive' stuff like me rather than buy this stuff?" 


I suppose she just wasn't aware of extending that same courtesy to you since she decided to voice how she was feeling. If it becomes more of an issue, politely just tell her something along the lines of, "We all have different tastes, preferences, and choices. I don't bash yours so you can at least not bash mine, I'm not asking you to spend your money on what I spend mine on, I just want us to have some hang out/girl time, whether that's at Sephora or a drugstore. This isn't a 'which is better' contest."


Now...if you were having issues with money and made that known to her but would drop hundreds of dollars in a shopping trip without a bat of an eye, THEN could she voice some concerns, but if none of that is happening, maybe she's just so vocal because she wishes she could do what you're doing.


Either way, don't let her get you down if you know there is no legitimate reason for her to. Chin up, don't be afraid to stick up for yourself if you're having a good time, especially when you're not hurting her or anyone in the process. 

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

Very well said Lylysa. You basically said everything I was going to say. Smiley Happy

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

Smiley Very Happy *high five for our brains being in sync*


After seeing more responses from other users, in regards to your friend making her comments, depending on her attitude and approach to it, this can be taken very differently. For example, sometimes if I'm out shopping with friends and they go to a department store and buy a basic, run of the mill tank top for (example sake) $20, I'll have no issues voicing that they can snag virtually the same thing at places like Forever XXI for about $5, but I do so in a way that's more of a "Oh, if that's what you needed, by the way, did you know it's cheaper here?" rather than sound disgusted or offended that my friend would spend $20. Trying to be helpful by mentioning a possible better deal or a steal is far from just down-talking.


But since the OP (IreneT) says she does her due diligence and researches items before investing, then my faith is in her for being able to factor, gauge, and ultimately choose the product that is right for her. And maybe that's what her friend doesn't understand or sees things as. Even with drugstore items, one can always go, "Uh, why spend $8 on a Maybelline mascara when Wet N' Wild's mascara is $2????" The research or reasonings her friend uses to choose one drug store item over another drug store item might not translate to how she sees IreneT shopping.


In all honestly, my personal take is, I would ask the friend to back her word up. If she claims a drug store product is the same or is better than a more expensive brand's item, prove it to me. Don't just make it about labels and price tags, but give me the proof, the science, the visual pay off to support knowing that the drug store item is better. If she's indeed right, then kudos, you get to save money and everyone is a winner and she can feel good about introducing you to a more cost effective item, but if she's merely going on because it's the price tag she's focused on, that's asking for a polite "shush" Smiley Wink.

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

People LOVE to judge what others spend their money on. Don't take her there again. Smiley Tongue

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

I've learned to ignore it. I get comments on how much I spend on makeup/skincare, I just shrug and say "that's my thing" or laugh and say "we all have our vices" and ignore after that. It's no one else's business what I spend my money on. 


Everyone has something they spend their money on, I just try not to engage comments like that. 

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

This is why I typically go alone or with someone I know who is a makeup addict. I don't need the judgement. I have family who love to reap the benefits, but thank me with judgement or smart comments about how much I spend on makeup. So, they now get nothing; I don't share my samples, or products that didn't work for me with them. My husband will go with me, but he knows better than to make a comment about my makeup when I can talk about his spending on shoes. Smiley Happy Ignore it, and know who you can hang with in Sephora, and who you can't. 

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

*raises hand* I typically prefer to go shopping alone. i go in browse what i want and get out. i don't have to hear about someone else saving or how much something costs etc

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

I usually shut their mouths by pointing out some very expensive purchases that *they* have made recently or mention a hobby of theirs that's anything but cheap. Bottom line is that no one has a right to judge you because you are the one that gets up everyday, goes to work and earns that paycheck.


Everyone has a hobby or something that they don't mind spending money on.

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

true. i think it also happens when that person can't spend the money on it because they might be saving for something else. so they make you feel bad about what your spend your money on

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

Oh and this is another instance in a similar scenario. I do 90% of my shopping online, its a rare occurrence that i will actually step foot in a store lol. Occasionally sephora because im so close, but i would send all my pkgs to work to make sure they arrived while i wasn't home. i would get comments about how much i buy/ order and oh i "wish" i could spend that much. when they don't even know what is being spent. so i stopped sharing and bringing stuff that i wasn't using any more and starting sending my pkgs home. 

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

I usually go to Sephora alone because of this. I've definitely heard the same complaints before though, I mean it's really nobody's business what I spend my extra money on, and it gets annoying. I don't put people down for buying expensive shoes or clothes, etc, so why make comments about me liking to buy expensive makeup/skincare. What bugs me is when I get the comment "oh, what did you buy this time" but in a snarky way when somebody sees me with a Sephora bag. My response: none of your business hah.

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

omg yes!! that annoying line. 

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

Yeah. I get that a lot while at home but mostly while I'm at school. My friends and aquaintances at school think I am insane for spending $42 on a foundation and they say I can get it at Walmart for $8 which I can't. I usually shop by myself at Sephora and MAC if I'm not with any of my family members because my friends also make me feel guilty about me spending a lot on makeup. I have the money and they don't.  But then they ask to play with my makeup or ask for the brand and the color of a specific product because they want to purchase it and I'm like, "Didn't you just make me feel guilty about spending so much on makeup however long ago?" 


Try talking to your friend about how it is making you feel when she talks to you about Sephora's prices and why you shop there versus shopping at the drugstore and the difference in quality between them. You should also explain that you research everything you purchase as well as having the extra money to spend. If she is uncomfortable shopping with you in Sephora, just go by yourself unless you have someone who can relate to you and understands your passion. It avoids the whole "guilt-tripping" thing and it's faster when you're by yourself. It is possible that she is jealous that you can afford to shop at Sephora and she cannot so she makes you feel guilty about how you spend your money. If she really is your friend, she wouldn't have done that.


You shouldn't feel guilty about spending your money at Sephora, MAC, Nordstrom, or wherever. It's your money and your are free to spend it however you please. It really doesn't concern her about you shopping there unless she asks you for your input on a product from Sephora that she wants to splurge on and she wants to take you along to help her decide. 

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

Here, here!!

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

Just people talking about money and making judgments when they know nothing about your situation. Even when they think they know....


Years ago, I was at a client's site and this gal commented about my shoes (which were not new, but looked it because I keep my shoes in good shape by polishing them): "Oh, it must be nice to not have kids and to have all this extra money to spend on new shoes." What she didn't know was that we were recently slapped with child support payments that well exceeded our mortgage (CA law bases it on a certain percentage of gross income) for a child that we weren't even able to see because of her being brainwashed by her mom. (Like having the responsibility of a relationship without any of the benefits.) I was working more hours to help make sure we stayed on top of all our bills. This gal just made a judgment based on what she thought she knew (or fantasized about) regarding our situation.


You have no need to explain yourself or to even bother with comments made by those who don't know your financial situation. And you have no obligation to fill them in with the details either.

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

Oh my gosh yes. I dance tango and the shoes are soooo pretty and also expensive. Several summers ago there was a girl who would occasionally show up at our Monday night practicas and would dance with a bunch of the guys there because they were her friends. Apparently, she took this to mean that she was something really special though because one night she was talking about how she'd been traveling and had gone to some milongas (tango dance parties) while traveling. She then proceeded to tell me that I REALLY ought to travel more for tango. I told her that I would love to, but I just couldn't afford it at the moment. This is when she looks at my feet and snidely says "Well you could afford to if you bought fewer of those. I just have this one pair of ballroom shoes that were $60 and they work fine." All I could do was stare at her. I was so livid. This girl and I had barely spoken more than 5 words to each other prior to this and she did not know my situation at all. The facts were that I owned a total of 3 pair of tango shoes at the time. 1 pair was a birthday gift, 1 pair I bought 2 years later after I had beat that first pair into the ground, and the pair that I was wearing which I'd bought used for $70 to use as practice shoes and help prolong the life of my new pair. I saved up for those shoes and was working at the time that they were purchased. I also danced 3-4x/week, 4+ hours at a time as opposed to her once every month or two. At the time that she was telling me all of this, I'd been unemployed for a couple of months and was seriously stressed out about money. It wasn't the shoes I'd bought while employed that were preventing me from traveling. It was the lack of income.


It always surprises me when people presume to know so much about another person.

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

After reading your post, I wanted to say "if you could be in my shoes...." Maybe that's a comeback when someone makes an assumption based on shoes. I still don't go overboard (much) with shoes.


That girl sounds like she was really into herself. I hate it when people brag about money, travel or similar things.

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

Just as they shouldn't be judged on their choice of purchase, you shouldn't feel guilty for your choice of purchase. It's your money and you buy what you think is best for you. Unless you are stealing, or avoiding your responsibilities you have nothing to be ashamed of. 

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

Yes, all the time! 

I mostly just ignore it. almost everyone spends money on frivolous things. So many men I know (and some women) spend money on sports stuff -- tickets, sporting supplies. You can spend thousands on this stuff. if I spent more than $20/year on this stuff, it would surprise me. It just isn't my thing.

others spend tons of cash (or credit) on cars, organic groceries, exotic vacations, expensive shoes, fur coats and on and on. 

I spend a relatively obscene amount on Sephora products. It's true. It makes me happy, and it's fun. I don't buy things blindly there. I buy things that work for my skin, and I return things to Sephora on occasion (when my skin has a bad reaction, eg), which is something I could never do at a drug store!

so, when someone gasps or comments on my Sephora habits, I smile politely and don't comment. Then I waive politely at them as they walk back to their expensive imported new automobile while I wait for the next bus to come...

Re: I Shop at Sephora, My Friends Don't?

A great way to deal is to laugh and say "it's my thing.  What's your thing?"  That way they get to talk about what interests them.  

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