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Post in Beauty Confidential

Beauty Pet Peeves 2

The other thread was getting too long and difficult to load! 


So what are your beauty pet peeves? What grinds your gears? Share your stories!!!

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Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2

@verokina23 I don't get this. I think the person who called me racist deleted the post now.


I am Asian so if I said Asian, I don't get as to how its bad. I just don;t get it


And I even said sorry but those people still created the drama after my apology. No one is mentioning this thing???  

Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2

@AmdSeph  Like many people said, it wasn't the word Asian that's the problem it's how it was used. Txcatx's post explains it very well. Just as she said... if the person were white, or black would you have said black snob or white snob? Maybe... maybe not. I guess to me and most people we would have just said snob. We wouldn't need anything else to describe the person because what's important is that they were a snob... everything else from race to hair color is irrelevant in this case. Do you know what I mean? Does that explain it better? I'm not the best at explaining things...


Like I mentioned in a previous reply the world is on edge right now... there is so much hate... People (not you) think they can say whatever they want and use hate speech... they think it's ok. And it's not. (again not talking about you).  A lot of groups have spent years fighting for their rights... their equal human rights and now that battle continues... it's more important now than ever... and it's a battle that shouldn't have to be fought in the first place. We should all be treated equally. Unfortunately that's not the case. People are scared. Scared to be who they are. Scared that they'll get attacked in some way. Scared of going out, walking down the street, going to school... that creates an immense amount of stress and anxiety.  It's 2016. This should not be happening. There was such movement forward and this seems like a huge step back. Even in my city (in Canada) where there is people from all walks of life, mostly peaceful we've seen 3 disgusting acts of vandalism since the US election. So people have extra guards up because of all this... because they need to.


So you see... while you thought you were describing someone it came across as derogatory. Even if that wasn't your intention. And the first comment ever made on that post was polite and to the point. Just that the post could do without the word Asian. Because of the state of things it snowballed into something even bigger.


I know a lot of comments were harsh but some you made were too... and I think all of that combined with you constantly changing your post made it so people did not think your apology was meaningful. I understand it's difficult to admit you don't understand or whatever when you have a lot of people posting comments about your comments. Even more so when the comments are blunt and maybe even rude. But you did. You did right there with your post... saying you don't get it. And you know... that's a great question. We all grow up differently and have different life experience so when anyone says I don't get it hopefully it can be explained in a way they will get it. I hope I explained myself well in this post and that it helps in some way for you to see what we all mean by it.

Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2

i don't know what else to say to make you see.  I like you Arv, but this is very frustrating.image.jpeg

Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2

This ^^ love it!

Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2

If you pronounced the name of the perfume as well as you wrote this post, the salesperson was right to correct you.

You could have taken this as an opportunnity to learn something instead of getting offended.

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I sincerely hope that you understand that no one was offended by the word Asian. The word in itself is not the problem, the context in which you used it is. For example, saying "a new Asian beauty brand" is fine, while saying "that Asian snob" is rude and intolerant. Perhaps it's just me, but this doesn't seem like it's a hard concept to understand for an adult.


And for the record, I am not easily offended or "extra sensitive." I'm married to a law enforcement officer, and while my Facebook blows up daily with anti-police sentiments, your post is STILL the most offensive thing that I've read today. On a beauty forum, no less.


So please, continue to play the victim and accuse the "mean girls" of "bullying" you.


ETA: grammar, because that is a consideration to me.

Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2

Wow. Okay, my first reaction when I saw this last night was to crack a dumb joke or two, which I did. Then everything exploded. 


I am Asian, and your original post did seem a little derogatory. Some of the others have very eloquently explained why your post came off as problematic, but you kept being defensive. 


So, let me explain from my perspective why "Asian snob" seemed disrespectful. If the salesperson weren't Asian, would you have said "white snob" or "black snob" in your post? Maybe not, right? In that case, reading (maybe too much) between the lines makes it appear that you hold a certain bias against Asians, possibly assuming that it's normal for them to be snobs. That's stereotyping everyone with ancestry from an entire continent with 48 different countries (which was the inspiration for my original dumb joke). 


In times like these, leaders from the United States openly discuss banning Muslims and starting a registry to document all Muslims. Authorities are joking about lynching African Americans. People want to build a wall to keep out those escaping terrible conditions relating to cartel violence in Latin America (I live in a border state where parents are sending their children alone to safety across the border, and I have read many heartbreaking stories about why this is happening). Neo-Nazis are out in full force. People have been emboldened in stating their racist opinions. Strangers have told me, a fourth-generation Asian American, to go back to where I came from because I don't share the same skin color. That's also because we're often viewed as sort of an "other" and that we don't belong, as if we're all new immigrants taking up space and jobs that should belong to descendents of those who came over on the Mayflower or something. But in reality, I'm an American and I only know American ways (though I can effortlessly order an entire meal in both Cantonese and Mandarin!).


With all of this going on, I feel as if we're not being over sensitive in calling out terms we see as possibly derogatory. I appreciate that so many BTers jumped in defense and tried to educate you. We're not calling out political incorrect attitudes. We're not bullying anyone. We're just being empathetic, or "woke," and trying to create a better, more tolerable world. 

Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2

Endless, endless applause. 

Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2

@txcatx  very well said. I am so sorry that people treat you that way... no one should be treated like that and I want to thank you for sharing something personal. It can't be easy. Big hugs! Heart



Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2

Well, putting down women isn't going to help you look less bigoted.

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@AmdSephI read all the comments and I'm sorry but I think you are out of line. I believe the very first comment made about your use of the word Asian was very polite. Describes how I feel too.  You could have said thank you and I'll remove it from my comment.  Instead you attack everyone who has commented. While I don't agree with some of the comments made the very first one was polite and should have been enough to make you think twice. You could have said a snob... there was no reason to add Asian. You said it was to describe someone... yet I don't see how it describes them. Like I said it could have ended at snob.


I think taking a step back and really looking at how the world is and how some things you thought were ok are in fact not ok. Not everybody is raised the same or thought the same things and that's why we all need to keep learning and growing. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. I don't know how hard or easy that would be for you.... but you should try. I'm not talking about the person who served you or the people who commented. Just try to look at it from another perspective.


I also have to say that I take issue with the bullying.  Like I said I don't agree with some of the comments made but I don't consider this to be bullying.  Maybe blunt/direct or even rude but it's not bullying. Trust me I know what that's like. But I get it. None of us like it when people tell us we are wrong. Especially when worded in certain ways.


I think people are just frustrated because you don't seem to understand what your words mean, the impact it has... and if no one teaches you the implications or how it can affect others how are you going to know.


The world is on edge right now... makes people even more passionate about what they hold dear...

Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2

There is literally only one person in this whole discussion who appears to be ignorant and I assure you it's not us. You should familiarize yourself with the rules of this forum; name calling gets you kicked off. You've already been reported by at least two people who personally told me they reported you. I'm about to make it three. Calling any of us "ignorants" is not only grammatically incorrect, but completely insensitive, and uncalled for. I think you need a time out. Self impose it before the mods force it. Relax. 

Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2

I reported also. 

Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2

Make that reported by FOUR people.

Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2

After that last edit, here's five. 

Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2

I saw the new edit as well, so now it is six.

Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2

You are so rude.

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I see you edited your post yet again, ArvSeph. Your behavior is so rude and uncalled for, not to mention embarrassing!

Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2



@mrsbaine says the person who called other dk in other thread!

Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2

@AmdSeph Hun, people are going to keep commenting as long as you keep it alive by responding and for as long as they have something to say on the matter.  You don't have to have the last word cause you're not going to get it.   That's the life of a thread.  For your good and everyone else's sanity just leave this thread for a while.  Continue on as per usual in other threads.  This will get buried after a week or so.  


And I implore, please don't carry this into other threads.  

Re: Beauty Pet Peeves 2

But I wasn't a racist. Win win for me @AmdSeph

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