quotidianus

workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

we recently had a whole seating rearrangement at work.  previously, i shared an aisle with all men (younger) and i kind of became their go-to when they had an emergency clothing/shoe/hygiene/first-aid need because of all the crap i keep in my desk.  (i bike into work, hit the gym and then am at my desk for a good 11 hours a day at least ... thought work was safer than my kit locker at the y).

 

now, i share space with mostly women, who are mostly my age, who should mostly know that you don't take without asking.  i'm happy to share, but there is a limit.  a few kept coming over to use my beloved nuxe dry oil, l'occitane hand cream, and lint roller.  someone poached my lotus eye gel:  the last straw..  there are some things i'd rather not share.  now everything i don't want to share with the world is up in my overhead, and i bought vaseline cocoa butter and c. booth vanilla butter lotions for people to use.  interestingly, they are now calling me a b*tch, and selfish and so on.  i was even told by one that i should have said i was replacing what i'd had out with other things (?!); yet i'm still being asked for fragrance samples, the use of my personal things (hairbrush, mascara)... really curious if anyone else has come across this type of behavior.  it's really thrown me. i consider this variety of taking-without-asking the same as eating someone's lunch from the office fridge.

 

not going to give in on this, because i do spend a fair bit of money on these things for myself and because, well, some things are simply not okay to share.  i would, though, like to put an end to the 'borrowing' and perhaps find a way to humorously get the point across.

 

any insight or suggestions would be welcome!

gtichick

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

Girl you have the patience of a SAINT. My boss used my crappy CVS hand cream twice last week, and the next day I ordered a bottle from our office supply co. so I didn't have to keep paying to keep his hands soft.

 

My office is just me and my (male) boss, but I have definitely used hand creams from women in other offices but I would never make a habit out of it. Lint roller or a sewing kit in a pinch, too, but it sounds like people are really taking advantage of you. I can't get over being asked for FRAGRANCE SAMPLES.

waterbaby1981

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

At this point I would be speaking to a manager and having them send out a "helpful" memo to all coworkers or having HR do it.  I would've personally flipped my s*** if someone actually STOLE eye cream from my desk (currently a stay at home mom) because really, do managers really want someone that's not trustworthy working for them?  Plus most eye creams are EXPENSIVE.

 

As for the complaining, I'd probably also be telling them my desk is NOT a beauty counter and hell no to the borrowing a hairbrush or mascara.  GET YOUR OWN.  That's like asking to borrow someone's toothbrush! 

Londonlover101

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

what the?! this is insane! who do these people think they are?! it was kind and thoughtful to lend your products for use/ let people use what you have enough, but these people are greedy/selfish enough to take your things? im sorry for what was stolen from you and for the mental people calling you insults for some dumb reason. you have a right to your stuff and if you don't want anyone to use it they shouldn't, im appalled and I feel bad for you.

DitzCore

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

They are using your mascara?! That's disgusting. I would honestly make them buy me a new one!

At my office one of my co-workers has a scent allergy so I can't really keep handcreams at my desk as she could have an allergic reaction. So I don't really have that kind of issue. I would probably keep them in your purse or in your drawers (do yours lock?) or just flat out tell them you don't want them using your products.

sp2001

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

can I go to your job to kick their @$$?

melde

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

Eww, that is so gross that they would use your stuff without asking!

 

Like you, I love sharing with others but for some reason I have a problem when people don't ask.

 

Tell them you contracted some weird skin disease or something, haha. :smileywink:

wingatprsct

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

Put a cute decorated money jar with a photo of l'occitane hand cream by your Vaseline lotion and suggest when you get enough money in the jar, you will purchase one for the office.  Otherwise, keep your personal items under lock & key if necessary.....and no apologies!

ilovetopurplefy

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

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They should pay you every time they use anything from your desk. Another option is you should try doing what they do to you and see how they like it and tell them that some of the stuff you have in your desk is expensive. If they still want them, they should each chip in $5 so that everyone could enjoy. 

 

Plus, the sharing of mascara, etc, that is downright nasty. I don't share mine with anyone. 

leopardstars

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

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This gave me an idea. Maybe you could consider putting a jar out and "charging" people $.50-$1.00 to use your products, and then donating the proceeds to some local charity that everyone can get behind, like a school, food bank, or animal shelter. 

Heatoyos1

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

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That's an idea. It's kind of like the restroom attendants who provide lotions, mints, etc. However, I wouldn't want to actually collect the money myself, so I would have to hope that people are being honest and really paying for what they take. And there is someone dishonest there if he/she stole an eye cream. 

calamityjane85

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

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I was thinking the same thing. They would pitch a fit, especially about lunches . If she took some of their lunch in the fridge or snacks they had theywould blow up. What? I just needed some of your snack because I was hungry, you needed my lotion because your hands were dry... Heeeheee.... I am just picking don't do that, they sound mean enough as it is... Don't want a huge fight going on. :smileyhappy: 

calamityjane85

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

Oh, goodness.... it seems like society has been shifting to a "gimmie gimmie its mine" kind of attitude. Manners have been thrown out the door. I would not feel one bit bad about keeping it away from grabby fingers. I just can't wrap my mind around doing something like this. I was raised to respect people and mind my manners. - Do unto others and all that good stuff. Hope they chill out :smileyhappy: Calling you a b*tch seems unfair in this situation.

lucyshnoosy

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

You have received lots of good advice here.  You were kind enough to share, and even now are buying items specifically for these ingrates.  I think you should stop sharing with these entitled monsters.

MissB417

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

NO.

 

You have every right to use the word mentioned above. Unless being the office Beauty Supply is part of your job description and you are compensated for  your generosity, then you need to put your rude, opportunistic coworkers in check.

 

To be honest, you don't even have to put humor in there to get your point across-just straight up tell people "No more sharing-these items belong to me, please do not use them." They already called you a B--- and selfish, that's the dealbreaker right there in my eyes.

kittycarlisle

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

Sorry this is happening to you! It's so difficult when nice behaviour is punished!

 

A jerk* does jerk things and if you point out their jerk behaviour somehow they will turn it around and make it out like you're the jerk. You will feel bad while the jerk feels good and oblivious while remaining a jerk. This is a classic jerk pattern.

 

*substitute your fav word, mine starts with an a.

 

I'd suggest going back to what I think you were doing before, that is, if someone is bleeding or something like that then yes, give them a bandaid or aspirin but you really don't need to have a communal lotion bottle on your desk. Others should not be going through your desk and if you need to find a way to lock/secure the items you don't wish to share while your office mates get used to the new normal then yes, it's sucks but it may be better in the long run.

ShinyMagpie

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

You are way too kind.

 

I would not supply them with anything. They sound like entitled, ungrateful little witches. They clearly don't appreciate your generous nature or respect personal space. 

 

Wanting to use your hairbrush and mascara! Ewwww. What is wrong with these women? 

 

I grew up with sisters borrowing, stealing, and ruining just about every nice thing that I had so I would not be as patient as you have been. 

 

I would remove ALL products from their access and wouldn't even go into discussion about it with them. Clearly they will twist anything you say anyway. 

 

Ugh! Sorry you had to put up with this. 

lucyshnoosy

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

ITA.

sundaespal

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

Gawd, I hate entitled people. I make baked goods for my husband's co-workers, and they got used to being spoiled, quick. I will probably keel over and die the day I get a thank you note or a small contribution (it's $$ to bake on the regular).

 

I'd take less stuff to work and not put out anything, drugstore or not, to share. Say you had an allergic reaction. Could you talk to HR? Sounds like most of your co-workers skipped kindergarten and need a refresher.

butterblume

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

Rude AND ungrateful! They don't deserve your generosity, and it is so sweet that you bought any products to share with them at all. What do they expect that you just keep supplying  them with high end beauty products? Seriously no social graces at all. 

ChicDabbler

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

Errr, do they know they are your stuff you brought with your money? Or did they think you were hoarding office goods? That's the only reason I can think of for the behavior, otherwise they are just hopeless and if they don't like the selections then they can go somewhere else. Back when I had roommate, I just had a set of everything myself even down to the handsoap. Maybe it would've been cheaper/more convenient if we shared, but it eliminates all the future fuss about splitting money, habits and what to use. =X

bombshell30

Re: workplace 'borrowers' (etiquette question)

That is seriously wrong. I know it isn't the same but my husband does this ALL THE TIME! He just doesn't get why it makes me so crazy. He'll use something (my l'occitane cleansing oil for instance), I will get after him about it- tell him how much it costs and ask "do you want to replace it?!?" the answer is always no,and my reply is "then leave it alone!!!" I have also had this problem with roommates.  I think you were beyond nice to provide them with anything at all. The fact they are calling you names proves they are ungrateful mooches. Figure out the cost per unit of what ever they want to use and say you'd be happy to split the cost evenly. If they decline, tell them you are not their mother and it is not your job to provide for them. I feel for you. My roommate thought I was a B too, but I didn't care. It's about respect and they need to get some. Bottom line is it isn't your job to care for their cosmetic needs.  As for hubs, he'll never learn and he makes my coffee so I've learned to adjust. Good luck! So sorry you're going throughthis!

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