FireSpinner

how do you make new friends?

Just wondering, as i moved a year and a half ago - still haven't made any friends. I just don't know how. :s

jennjenn123

Re: how do you make new friends?

(0) Hearts

I've been in my new city for about a year and a half.  Everyone I know here I've met through my husband, so everyone I socialize with in person works with him.  Fortunately I don't need lots of people interaction.

 

If we had more disposable income, I would take horseback riding lessons.  Learning a new activity/skill is a good way to bond with people. 

 

My school doesn't have one here, but I've suggested this to my brother who lives in a bigger city: see if your college/university has any alumni get-togethers in your area.

 

Volunteer.

JGSFLA

Re: how do you make new friends?

(0) Hearts

what are your interests? i know that community centers and schools hold adult classes on everything from dancing to gardening! joining one of these might make it easier to talk to people because you have the same interests!

DTalksAll

Re: how do you make new friends?

(0) Hearts

My friends moved to Denver from the East Coast a few years ago & it took them a LONG time to find close friends. They made a few friends at work and with neighbors and went to every single event they invited them to. From there they would ask for numbers or become facebook friends with people they met at these events & went from there. Every few months they would host a party & invite all the people they've met & encouraged them to bring friends. 

It wasn't easy & they got home sick a lot, but over time they had close acquaintances and then a few friends. 

You just have to put yourself out there, be yourself and be open minded. 

bvnny

Re: how do you make new friends?

This thread was a miracle. I realized we all have this problem, and I'm not some lone weirdo that has this problem. It reduced my anxiety and I let go of trying to make new friends, and just allowing life to happen. And I made a new friend ! ! ! She's new to the area too, so we can explore together. I hope this happens to everyone else looking for new friends in new towns or just in general. All I did was join a class I was interested in :smileyvery-happy:

miabt

Re: how do you make new friends?

(0) Hearts

Getting out there & making new friends can be intimidating sometimes!  Like everyone has mentioned, a great way to make new friends is to take a class of some kind that interests you.  It's a lot easier to bond with someone that has similar interests :smileyhappy:  Whether its a yoga class or a evening painting session, its a great way to socialize.  There is also common interest "meet up" boards.  A good friend of mine joined a "new mommies club" near her home.  She was cautious & kinda checked it out to make sure other mommies were really meeting up & it wasnt some scam, but afterwards, she made a couple other parents in her area to have coffee with & chat about their growing babies :smileyhappy: 

 

xo, Mia   

mafan

Re: how do you make new friends?

(0) Hearts

How far away are you from a big, or at least bigger, town?  You might not find something right where you are, but look at the surrounding area.  I bet that there are motorcycle clubs or groups, or stores where you can find out more.  If there are organized rides if your area that's a way to meet people with similar interests.  And I agree, the cooking class is a great idea. 

 

Also, check out on-line boards/groups for things that interest you.  I found my sampler guild that way, through a friend that I met on-line that I found didn't live that far away.

 

I do drive an hour or more to some of my groups, but a couple of times a month it's worth it.  I enjoy the hobby and a enjoy the company of people who share my interests.  I don't have any "best friends", but I definitely have people I consider friends and that I do things with outside of meetings.

 

What about an alumni association?  Every school is different, but I know mine has periodic activities and an on-line presence where you can meet people.  Even if you're meeting people of a different age, you have a common point to start talking and usually an activity to participate in.  And they can be a great resource to tell you about other things that might interest you.

 

I would definitely look into a cooking class of some sort, too.

CzaCee

Re: how do you make new friends?

Hmm. I've been sitting on my chair staring at my computer for the last 3 minutes and I still don't know how to answer your questions properly. lol.

 

I guess making new friends just happens. Just be yourself and always be kind. The best friendships are those unexpected ones. Just always smile and be nice and approachable. :smileyhappy:

janinebt

Re: how do you make new friends?

(0) Hearts

Oh and another option is getting a side job, even if it's just seasonal (like Sephora). Finding something that's part time or seasonal is a fantastic way to meet new people because chances are a lot of the coworkers you start with may not also know anyone. Going on lunch with others or even out for a drink after work is a sure fire way to get some friendships going.

 

Sometimes even just saying "I don't really know too many people in town" is a good ice breaker when it comes to taking that first step. So many can empathize with you. We've all been new at some point in our lives :smileyhappy:. I know I always make sure to check in/plan an outing with a friend that may not know too many people.

Whimsically yours,
Janine
janinebt

Re: how do you make new friends?

Making friends when you move or aren't in school is a pretty big game changer. People have already given some good suggestions: volunteering and coworkers are always a good starting point.

 

Hobbies are another really really great way to meet people. I tend to do a lot of modeling/mua work for photographers, and actually became really good friends with one photog who lives right down the street from me. Things like knitting circles, book clubs, independent sport teams, etc are really great ways to meet new people too. Depending on where you live you may also want to try chatting up your neighbors :smileyhappy:. I was able to befriend my next door neighbor after she got locked out of her apartment.

Whimsically yours,
Janine
spedteacher74

Re: how do you make new friends?

(0) Hearts

Its hard to make friends when you move to some place new. What kinds of things do you enjoy? Look to be more involved in activities on your own that you enjoy and then you will meet people with shared hobbies. I do yoga. I do it at my gym and then a class at the park district. Although I have not attempted to make new friends there, if I was looking to, it would be an easy place to start a conversation. Since the class meets weekly and the same people come, you have the chance to talk to someone. If you get talking enough, you can suggest coffee or a bite to eat. For me, I might join a running club.  I see from your bio that you like riding your motorcycle and cooking.  How about a cooking class?  Go to the local Harley Davidson if one is near by or whatever brand motorcycle you have and see if they have a riding club.  Michael's craft store has cake baking classes.  Just some ideas! 

lissay

Re: how do you make new friends?

(0) Hearts

I had the same problem and I had been in my town for a long time. I hated to go any where myself to meet people, the thought petrified me. I finally got up the nerve to go out on my own and try a keep it local dinner group.  After that I got involved with volunteering for charity events. I also joined a once a week cooking glass. Do what you love and I'm sure you'll find some great people out there that share your interests. Good luck!

jazzygirl11

Re: how do you make new friends?

(0) Hearts

You can also try things like meetup.com. It's not a dating site, but a list of groups where people get together based on interests e.g. Going out to dinners, happy hours, kayaking etc you name it there's a group for it.  It'll get you out doing things and meeting new people.  Also look for things such as art or cooking classes whatever ur interests are and take a few.   Join a gym n take group classes.  Just start some small talk n become a regular at classes you like n you'll get friendly w people over time.  Also, look for outgoing people, n make friends with them, just by default u can meet a lot of new people through them, then develop friendships w their friends as well

midnightangel

Re: how do you make new friends?

(0) Hearts

Ya got me there, kiddo. I still have no idea how to "make" friends.

Like Neko333 said, they just kind of happen.

Just be yourself. If you're shy like me & have trouble talking to people you don't know, then don't. Let them come to you and go from there.

Don't force yourself to be someone you're not.

If you're the outgoing type, just do what comes naturally.

 

Most friends are made via a shared interest, shared environment, or through other friends (online works too). Pursue your interests and friends will find you.

lilyyy

Re: how do you make new friends?

If someone invites you somewhere, say "yes" as often as possible. Brunch invite? Yes! Birthday party? Yes! Shopping date? Yes!

 

The same goes for you, invite as often as possible. If someone says no, "sure, no problem! maybe next time :smileyhappy:". And then make sure that you DO extend the invitation again.

FireSpinner

Re: how do you make new friends?

(0) Hearts

Thank you all for sharing your experiences and advice. I think it'd be a lot easier to discover new friends in a big city, but i've got to make the best of the situation. My interests are so varied or unique ( ex: makeup, motorcycles, circus arts, reptiles , cooking) that it's difficult to find any groups or what not, that share that interest - especially in a small town. But i'll definately put all of your advice(s) to good use :smileyhappy: Thanks BT! I know i've got friends here :smileyhappy:

jaimelove

Re: how do you make new friends?

(0) Hearts

i moved nearly 3 years ago and still, the only friends i have here in town are people that i already knew before i moved! there are a whopping two of them haha. i am a stay at home mom, so i very rarely get out. the only new friends i've made have been on the internet. i just don't know how to make friends! i'm too introverted... the friends i DO have i don't interact with much, especially since everything that's been going on with my son. it's just too easy to pull into yourself sometimes and cut contact with most of the world! 

 

i really should go out and do things i enjoy doing that involve other people haha. 

 

i wish i had some advice for you, i know how lonely it can get sometimes. i think nebel had some really good advice, though! i should probably try it out for myself :smileyhappy:

PoesRevy

Re: how do you make new friends?

(0) Hearts

Strike up a conversation! -  Even a small conversation can be the start to meeting new people that could lead to a friendship. Possibly with someone you work with, in your favorite local store (even at the check out!), Cafe, etc. The more that you put yourself out there (in the community), it is a resource to meeting new people - Group volunteering, clubs (for something that interests you), a workout/dance class, etc are also great resources for meeting new people (as has been mentioned).

 

 

garnett

Re: how do you make new friends?

(0) Hearts

@neko333   I agree with you about people who meet you and immediately want to be your best buddy.  Too intense for me!  But, I think it's a good idea to put yourself in situations where you are likely to meet people you have something in common with.You are also doing something good for yourself when you spend time following your interests.   Most people we meet in such situations become pleasant  acquaintances but a few may actually become real friends. 

neko333

Re: how do you make new friends?

I have many acquaintances and friends that I've met all through the same hobby. I think my point is, if you go with the intention to make friends you strike out. I'm not saying not to go out and do something you enjoy. Just don't try too hard, it's a lot like dating. People get so focused on trying to get an A on the test they stay up all night studying only to oversleep and fail. 

neko333

Re: how do you make new friends?

I don't think you can work on making new friends, they kind of just happen. Generally the best ones are made when you least expect it. People who are usually anxious to get chummy with you are "opportunists", they will come and go like stray cats.

 

 

Advanced
You must be signed in to add attachments
Conversation Stats
  • 38 replies
  • 631 views
  • 39 hearts
  • 29 in conversation
    • lissay
    • DTalksAll
    • spoiledbrat
    • lilyyy
    • janinebt
    • dolceloure
    • mafan
    • roxystar4
    • bvnny
    • neko333
    • jazzygirl11
    • beautylovingirl
    • syritt
    • miabt
    • spedteacher74
    • carrie1975
    • garnett
    • JGSFLA
    • midnightangel
    • nebel
    • pinklissamel
    • jennjenn123
    • jaimelove
    • CzaCee
    • pinkonyx
    • FireSpinner
    • PoesRevy
    • MakeupJunkie666
    • Nichole82