FireSpinner

how do you make new friends?

Just wondering, as i moved a year and a half ago - still haven't made any friends. I just don't know how. :s

dolceloure

Re: how do you make new friends?

I feel the struggle! I just moved a month ago and am still trying to make friends. I'm a textbook introvert so this stuff definitely doesn't come easy to me. In fact, the prospect of meeting new people and going to large gatherings freaks the heck out of me. :-/

 

That said, I think everyone else's suggestions about going out and participating in activities that you like, volunteering and such...all of these things are a great way to start. (advice I should take too -- I never have any motivation to make the effort, I'm so lazy + tired from work, lol) It can be anything from sports to a book club, or finding a cause you believe in and dedicating some time to it. Also, depending on where you live, there might be networking organizations for people in your particular field and/or age group, but that's something you'll find in larger cities. 

 

Above all things though, be patient with yourself and don't pressure yourself to find friends! Friendships just happen, they really do...often when you least expect it. And keep in mind, you've always got your BT girls here for you! :smileyhappy:

MakeupJunkie666

Re: how do you make new friends?

I'm in the same boat. I just moved to Las Vegas for grad school and I know absolutely no one over here.  

carrie1975

Re: how do you make new friends?

I live 90 miles from Vegas and I go very often for shopping and appts. Maybe some time I'm going to be there we can go to lunch and I can show you my favorite Sephora store in Las Vegas! I'd love to meet a new friend in Vegas. You already know we have one thing in common.... our love of makeup.

MakeupJunkie666

Re: how do you make new friends?

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Sure, that sounds great. It's always great to have someone to discuss makeup with. =)

pinkonyx

Re: how do you make new friends?

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work and school. Or like a lot of the girls suggest go to a dance class, there is a lot of women and just chat It up.

garnett

Re: how do you make new friends?

OK, I see you are  a young woman so I am not going to tell you to join the senior center.  :smileywink: LOL  Joining a club, doing volunteer work, taking a group lesson or class,a bowling league, dance lessons,  becoming involved in a church or cause are all ways to meet people  You can find things at community centers, libraries, the local Y, etc.  Look at your local paper to get ideas about what is happening in your area. Our local high school opens up the pool to lessons or adult swim time in the evenings.

  You have to put yourself out there and be a bit outgoing too.  Sometimes people think groups are snobby because they think the members aren't friendly and don't ask you to  sit with them.   Well, maybe they are just doing what they are used to doing.  I joined a group recently and it meets once a month.  I would walk up to a different table at the meeting  each month and say Hi, my name is garnett, may I sit with you ladies this evening?  They were always very happy to make room for me.  After a few months I got to know people and I didn't feel like an outsider anymore.  It can be a little scary to put yourself "out there" but it's worth it.  In the process of finding friends you will also find out more about yourself while working on a new interest or skill.   :smileyhappy:

Nichole82

Re: how do you make new friends?

I am originally from southern OC California, then moved to southwest Oklahoma for the last almost 10 years (met and married there). Never really had a bunch of friends, but when we just moved to Ft Collins I decided I would first find an activity I would enjoy, and go from there. For me it was Roller Derby and all ready met a couple really cool people and have the first meeting in November to look forward to! So that may be a route you can look into, be it a sport, hobby, etc. Even a store you frequent often can be a place to strike a new friendship! Do what makes you happy, and while you are doing it, look around at those with similar interests! Start the friendships with something simple like shopping together later in the week, or meeting for a coffee. It can build from there! Put yourself in the other person's shoes and how you would want to be approached is how you should go about it. I hope this helps!

carrie1975

Re: how do you make new friends?

It was easier for me to insert myself into the small town we moved to because I had kids. I volunteered at the school and helped with the supports teams. I would bake for the kids when they had early morning track meets. The school was so appreciative that I would help out where I was needed. There are always going to be those in small towns that are not welcoming to new residents. Those are the ones I ignore. I live in a town that revolves around church, one church, and if you aren't a member somedon't like you. I've made some amazing friends that I've been able to help when they were struggling and they don't care that I'm not a member of the church. I would recommend what others have said. find something you are passionate about and then find others who are too. I used to be a baker before my disability and I've given the locals lessons on baking and cake decorating. I've even taught the kids some things and will be volunteering at the school since they don't have money for a home ec. teacher. I love the small town feel and wouldn't want to go anywhere until my husband retires. To give you an idea how small...there are 60 kids in the high school!

mafan

Re: how do you make new friends?

I agree, if there is something you're interested in, find a group, even if you have to travel a bit. For me it's needlework. I'm in 3 groups and it takes me almost an hour to get home from the closest group. But I enjoy what I'm doing there and have friends in all of the groups. In a small town you might have to look a bit further but since it sounds like you're not doing a lot of other things, it's worth the time to go searching a bit. 

roxystar4

Re: how do you make new friends?

I find small towns to be the hardest to fit into.  Ive felt more included in the big cities ive lived in.  

 

Nebel has some great ideas!  I also think a co-ed sports team can be fun (soft ball or volleyball).  

 

Online connections can help too (like joining your towns FB page or pages ex.  Portville's Wine Tasters   or Portville Fashion club.  

 

OK I totally just made up Portville. But that way you can know when events are happening and know people from their FB pics.

 

Hope this helps

beautylovingirl

Re: how do you make new friends?

I agree with Nebel try finding something like volunteering. Do you have any special hobbies or interest that you may have in common with people you work with? 

syritt

Re: how do you make new friends?

I had a really hard time meeting people after I was done with school and moved halfway across the country. It took me a while to find new communities. I finally started making friends by signing up for classes and going to community events. Depending on your interests and where you live, there can be some really fun stuff.

spoiledbrat

Re: how do you make new friends?

FireSpinner from your posts, it would not seem you would have difficulty :smileyhappy: How large is the town? Contrary to popular belief, small towns are really not all puppies and sunshine. Ask yourself what your passions are. Then find outlets of like minded folks be it a club, volunteering, fund raisers, etc.You can also start a group of your own and post meeting info. Most churches and libraries will let groups meet at little to no cost. Above all, be yourself. Either they like you for you or they don't. Hang in there. Good luck. :smileyhappy: It goes without saying, the BT folks are here for you :smileyhappy:

pinklissamel

Re: how do you make new friends?

I feel your pain I move every 3 to 4 yrs and have to start all over from scratch. I'm not a very outgoing person but I find I have to step outside the box alot or else I wont experience much. Try volunteering for anything and go from there. I recently came to a point in my life where i was so unhappy because I had no friends and no one to hang out with when i was off. I guess you could say I came to the end of my rope and decided to do something about the issue at hand. I started volunteering and kinda went from there. Start slow and maybe just say hi to someone diffrent each day to meet new people. Definately going to take some initiative but it will pay off I promise.!!! Good luck let us know how it goes!!!

FireSpinner

Re: how do you make new friends?

I just turned 26, working a factory type job. I'm either at work or home.

 

 

nebel

Re: how do you make new friends?

Find a cause you care about and do some volunteer work, or try joining a community group, like a choir.  It is a great way to meet new people who share your interests!  Or maybe take a class (art, language, exercise) in something new.  Be yourself.   You'll do great!

roxystar4

Re: how do you make new friends?

[ Edited ]

Ive moved quite a bit. Are you in highschool, college or a young professional/out of college, middle-age, or older?  Ways to meet people will be different, depending on which stage of life you're in.

bvnny

Re: how do you make new friends?

I moved two years ago, and I have no idea how to either. Seems like everyone remembers each other from high school and stuff . =(

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