Revenge?

[#1]

is revenge bad? like lets say i was dating a guy

and he dumped me

then his friend

asks me out a week later and i origianally did it for revenge... is it bad?

what if i like the new guy and the old guy?

WHAT IF THESE ARENT HYPOTHETICAL?!?!

(thats my 2 one direction loves who id date in a heart beat)

SO THANKS FOR ANY ADVICE YOU HAVE!!! 

[#2]

Revenge dating is never a good idea. I am a firm believer in karma, what goes around comes around. I'd bet you would feel bad if someone did it to you, so it's not a good idea to use a guy to get back at someone else. Hold your head up high, and tell yourself that you are too good for the rat that was so stupid to dump you.

I agree with kimmi's advice and give dating a break for awhile. Just go out and have fun with your pals (male and female) and don't get serious until you are better able to judge whether a guy is in it for fun and will dump you, or if he is a worthy guy who would deserve your love.

I wish you all the best in your future relationships.

[#3]

Although revenge can feel good and powerful in the moment, it is usually not good in the long.  Usually, it ends up causing more drama in one way or another.  Although you may like the new guy you are with, what if word somehow gets to him that you originally went out with him for revenge?  He may be hurt and break things off in a heartbeat before you have the chance to explain things to him yourself.

Also, what is your meaning of "dating?"  Is it just in the earlier, going out to the movies and whatnot stage, or does it mean you and him are automatically a couple?  I've seen both variations of dating throughout middle and high school, so I just wanted to double check. 

One more thing, it may be best to hold off on dating for a little bit after breaking up.  Taking a break and taking things slow is always a good thing.

[#4]

also, to specify for kimmi1115, "dating" in middle school is where a person, generally a guy but some desperate girls, ask the opposite gender, or same in some cases, out. they hang out, tell everyone who theyre going out with, hold hands, walk to class together, hug and kiss, and text all the time. they sit together at lunch and hang out as much as they can (at least in my case). they can hang out outside of school but this is not as common. we have these dances called stomp, and its basicly like a club for middle schoolers, and its really fun! they often go to these and dance (grind) and make out. i have never personally made out there, but mayeb with my new bf??? dating is fun and generally innocent, cept for the skanky girls that... go all the way (for lack of a better way to say it). we mostly understand that it wont last forever. some girls are like "OH WERE GUNNA GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES!!!". i dont do that. but, i have to admit... we have these familys in school (kinda like a big kid version of playing house) and we say were "married" and we claim our friends as our kids its funn i have 2 daughters, with one of my exs, and an adopted son. me and my current bf, dylan, are not officailly "married" yet, but ill have one of my kids ask 

well there you go. theres as much as i know about relationships in middle school. if any of you know more, please feel free to add on

[#5]

This is quite a sensitive topic that may be better suited to talk with a counselor, family, or friends.  If you are under 13, I would highly recommend to delete the post.  Jealousy is one thing but to post for power or attention is a grave mistake.  There are kids out there who now have to deal with lifelong stigmas because of one small action (which may have started out as "revenge" or a prank).

It may be in the best interest NOT to post pictures of certain friends or acquaintances without their permission.  The message could have been easily conveyed without the pictures.  The result may have unexpected and negative consequences in the long run (the individuals in question, parents, community, school, random internet, etc).  You are responsible for what you post and disclose.  Being that this forum is public, there could be a chance of either one, a jealous other person, or family finds out or recognizes the faces posted in this post.  That is typically when things can become ugly.

With most "dating" and friendship advice, being honest is key.  Distrust is hurtful and makes things more complicated than it should be. 

[#6]

those pics where of famous guys. i just thought they were cute. and im not just posting it for attention. i didi it so i could get good advice from ppl. i didi end up breaking up whith this guy, adn i felt bad... but then his friends told me he dated me for my **bleep**, so i no longer feel guilty for it.

[#7]

well ps thanks for all of your advice.

hehehe i love the **bleep** (i typed it, it says bleep with 4*s)

ya but the guy was a creep. im so glad my new bf isnt. 

its almost been 3 weeks i think yeah! lets hope it last tho, because i graduate middle school next year, and he will still have one more year! i have like 3 more weeks before school ends i think ugh, and plus his fam goes up to nevada during the summer, and even a year from now wen hes in high school, well prolly go to different schools!

and no, im not a cougar. hes 29 days older than me. im supposed to be in 7th grade too, but they thought i was smart, so they started me in school early, but most of my freinds are in 7th grade

anywayyyy...(that was a RABBIT TRAIL!!)

[#8]

The best revenge is to truly be happy, in my opinion.

[#9]

Revenge is more like a waste of time. If you go out with someone who likes you just to get back at an ex then you are hurting an innocent person who did nothing more than like you. If you genuinely like the guy it's one thing, but it shouldn't be about "revenge" or once the swift victory has ended you will feel worse about yourself than the ex who dumped you ever did to start with.

[#10]

Revenge is usually bad. Small revenge are ok, but for big revenge like that, it usually feels good initially then the feeling turns empty or into guilt. Also, in most cases someone gets hurt, in which case it really is better to leave it as a good story to tell later and go for the higher road.

I was actually in a similar situation but with different reasons. I had a huge crush on a guy in HS, when he gave me a heart shaped box with Godiva chocolate, I thought, you know....but then I found out he have no feelings whatsoever for me (I think he prob did it as a bet with friends, but I was too heartbroken already to ask). After that one of his friend said he have a crush on me and offered me a shoulder to cry on. I've never dated so have no idea what it entails, I don't even like the guy and think he's ugly, but he offered to listen at a time when I need it the most, so I chatted with him a lot. Most of the time I don't remember this "relationship" mainly because it never got further than us sitting together on the bus, him putting his head on my shoulder, and me looking away wishing I was not there and couldn't wait for him to graduate. He is a really nice person and I love chatting with him, just not physically near him. I feel guilty for being totally not attracted to him at all when he was offering me so much emotional support (secretly, I think he know I was not into him at all.). I was the innocent, funny, and slightly aloof cool nerdy girl type, but I do think he's idealized me in his mind cuz, well, I don't think I was gf material at that time...

[#11]

Revenge can't be good, but it sure feels good. I think what ur doing is okay, but I'd wonder about the poor guy ur seeing now, but possibly don't like and or will get hurt in the crossfire. Revenge usually means ur not over the situation, and I've def done some revengeful things but not usually anymore, I was way younger. Cute bf by the way, or ex....