Carmen1986

My Life : Being Transgender

[ Edited ]

Hey everyone, 

 

So I wanted to write this post, because I wanted to open up about being Transgender. Normally I rarely discuss this because I am at a stage in my own transition where I have kept it on the down low. However I feel so comfortable sharing about my life and wish to let others in on what life is like being born the wrong gender. Some of you may actually find this informative when dealing with transgender folks in your daily life and some might not. Either way I want to do this because it makes me feel good. 

 

I was born genetically as a male, by the name of Michael. As I grew up I clearly grew up as if I was meant to be female. I never ever did anything like any other boys did and always was attracted to anything and everything feminine. I use to love to play with dolls and love to do their hair. I even wanted to grow up to be a hairdressed, unfortunately I grew out of that as I got older. At the age of 7 I had this feeling which I consider to be a ' spark ' if you will that just made me realize that I was clearly not meant to be who I was born as. I struggled growing up to fit in with others. I had gone through intense bullying from my cousins/relatives, teachers, and even classmates and others. As time passed I assumed I was gay because of my interest in men. Throughout high school I never really had a wonderful experience because people just never accepted me as being part of any groups. I had been quite isolated and alone and those who we're my friends basically we're all nice to your face and backstabbed you as much as they could. I confided in them at the time that I was gay or so I thought and of course I ended up being outed and had to deny this because of how others would feel and end up ganging up on me. At the age of 21 I realized that for such a long time I assumed that I was gay because it was the only logical feeling that could explain my intense feminine feelings. However having done research I finally realized I was Transgender. Confused, alone and unable to talk about it I bottled it up inside, and did some research on what it was and what I needed to do to correct this huge error. Having been out of high school for a year my father managed to get me a job at the hospital working in the housekeeping department which in the end was the worst choice ever made. I was terrified about transitioning because it was costly and would eventually become noticeable. However I did it anyways, from painful hours of hair removal, hormone treatments, legal name and gender change, and voice therapy I finally had come to the most crucial step. Coming out, the first stage of coming out with my parents was pretty successful at least with my mother. My father would say he'd accept me but in the end he never did stand up as my support. My father and I unfortunately don't have any relationship anymore due to him stealing from me financially and was told to leave. We still see each other just never speak anymore. Not long after his departure, I finally came out at my job and for the first while I had thought people would actually accept me. However as time passed it became my own version of hell. I have been discriminated against, called every name in the book, been sexually assaulted and basically accused of lieing about it. I've been threatened and verbally and mentally abused by many. The best part of my transition was meeting my now boyfriend and future husband. He is my rock and he is my strength and he lifts me up and I am thankful he supports me with everything. He makes me feel beautiful and he's so positive and uplifting. I've recently been approved for gender reassignment surgery and will be finally completing my surgery in Montreal and will have my man by my side, my mother supports me all the way and I am thankful to have the love, respect and care I deserve. It's been a long journey, one with many curve balls, but I stick it out and make it through all the negavitity to be here today. Although it's rough sometimes I think of what I would lose if I was gone. I'm thankful for this experience and those who genuinely care for me and support me. I wish to thank you all who do read this. Because this isn't about sympathy or pitty, this is simply about being truthful and proud to share my story with you.

 

Thank you all for your positivity, your kindness and respect. I truly wish nothing but the best for all of you :-)

 

~ Carmen ~

 

Just to all who post, I may not be able to get to thank you personally. Always remember I thank you all for your support, your love and your respect and care. I love you all for accepting me for me !. 

 

THANK YOU BT LADIES !

 

Also my boyfriend says that he is very proud to be with me and is very happy with me and that he truly thinks your all wonderful, beautiful people for being apart of my life :-)

MermaidBarbie

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Hey, Carmen. I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you for stepping forward. I know it takes a lot of courage. I'm very sorry for everything you've been through from bullies. Good luck with everything and keep your head up. xx :smileyhappy:

georgiaastar

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

(0) Hearts

NEVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE. Carmen, you are you and that is all that matters.

Whether you are male OR female, it does not matter and people that find problems with it you should not allow them to feel like they have WON. Because in the end you are the winner because you stood up for who you are and who you wanted to be.

 

Good luck in the future,

And i'm very happy that there are people in this World like you.

NEVER FORGET

(Normal is boring.) 

Georgiaastar x

Penaloza1

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Don't ever let someone tell you how to live YOUR life.I'm glad you're happy and wish more happiness to come.

Cheers to you.

Carmen1986

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

(0) Hearts

Hey Penaloza,

 

I never let anyone dictate how I should live my life. Thank you, it's not always easy to be happy but I manage. 

glossyguru

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Carmen, thanks so much for sharing your story. It really is great that you can now accept who you really are. There was this boy (now girl) at my school that was transgender, and now that I think about it, she probably went thought the same types of things. She was in 7th grade when she started treatments, and people are starting to finally accept her. She's always so confident, how could you not?

 

Anyways, I wish you the best of luck!

Carmen1986

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

(0) Hearts

Hey Glossyguru,

 

Your very welcome :-), I've accepted who I was from the moment I started to transition. I'm glad she managed to complete her transition to the degree she wanted to do so. She's quite brave because in middle school/junior high it's a time where bullying really can be quite an issue. I'ts good she has the confidence too. It's hard for some because they are so beaten down by peoples judgements and that can affect the mental stability of some people. 

 

Thanks girl !

Meg82

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Hey Carmen, you are one brave lady.  I have had some gender issues, where I've questioned whether I was truly a man or a woman or something in between. Eventually I came to feel that my gender matched up with my sex and I am a woman. And I have some gender presentation stuff where I'm pretty ambiguous to the point that I get called sir a ton and if I don't wear makeup I get hassled a lot going into ladies rooms because people think I'm a man and that it's their job to protect the poor defenseless ladies of the ladies room.

 

But none of that holds a camera to the hell you've been through.  I'm truly in awe of your strength and I'm so glad you've managed to find love among everything.  You are a very brave woman.

miabt

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

(0) Hearts

Thank you for sharing your story with all of us, Carmen!  Your strength is truly inspiring.  I'm glad your story is turning up & you are really finding your way to being the best you <3 

 

xo, Mia

anaa

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

(0) Hearts

Good luck to you and your fiancé.  It is so sad that you had to endure such heartache, but hopefully the future will be much brighter!

LolaVal

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Dearest Carmen,

 

Thank you for sharing your journey with us.  My cousin is also transgender so I have seen how difficult it was for him to go through his transition.  I'm truly sorry that you received such mistreatments.  Please know that there are laws created to protect you against these types of treatments at work and out of work.  No one should have to endure this.  Congratulations on your approval for gender reassignment surgery!  I wish you lots of luck for your surgery and a speedy recovery. Sending you lots of love and warm hugs!!! 

ghkim

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

you are beautiful and brave, and your mom rocks. as does your boyfriend.

Candy357

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

(0) Hearts

What an amazing story, thank you for sharing. You are super strong and amazing!

I hope you have completely forgotten about the ignorant people you ran into. They don't desserve anymore brain space from you.

I like the name you chose btw, if that is your new name. YAY!

PoesRevy

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

(0) Hearts

You are awesome and beautiful :heart:

It is wonderful to read that you have an incredible boyfriend and mom. I am thankful for the unconditional love you have in your life.

Stay strong and remember, anyone who acts/acted ignorantly lost out on knowing you. Their loss.

 

Missie772

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

(0) Hearts

This is truly an inspirational story and I am so thankful that you shared your story with us. It breaks my heart that you had to deal with everything that you have so far. I am so sorry for everything that you had to go through. But I am genuinely happy that you have found someone who you will spend the rest of your life with!

 

Beauty Talk is a very loving community and I hope that you know that we are all here for you! Wishing you all the best and hope to hear from you again!

 

 

Kiki1517

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Good for you for standing up for yourself, unfortunately the human kind is very judgmental and I don't see it changing anytime soon. I was bullied as a smaller kid too, and when you are already shy, it makes you become even that much more reserved and scared. I know some people that have come out and others that probably never will and everyone has had different experiences depending on how accepting those are around them. I'm very open-minded and strive to instill that in my children as well, doing my part to keep society from going backwards. I hope you find everything you are looking for in life, it seems as though you have found someone who brings you great happiness! :smileyhappy:

kenny

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Thanks for sharing! You're a very inspirational brave woman!

Carmen1986

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

(0) Hearts

Thanks Kenny :-)

laurabt

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Thanks for sharing your story Carmen!  It takes a strong person to endure and persevere the way you have. I admire your positive oulook!  :smileyhappy: -Laura

Carmen1986

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

(0) Hearts

Ahh Laura :-D !

 

I was hoping you'd post on my blog. Thank you so much for your respect and support. Thanks so much :-D !

marydiva

Re: My Life : Being Transgender

Thank you for sharing! :smileyhappy: You're such a strong person. Best wishes with your future marriage. You're a beautiful woman inside and out :smileyhappy:

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