lilyyy

Meeting best friends as an adult.

[ Edited ]

A year ago I transferred units at my company. After working in so many different teams with varying personalities, I had no expectations of making friends at work.

 

Then I met my friend, Pearl. The first time she invited me to lunch, she had just returned from maternity leave. We walked around for half an hour before she realized that the restaurant had closed down while she was away.  I was 26 when I met Pearl, years out of college, and just thought that there was no way I was going to meet a new good friend--much less a best friend!

 

To my very pleasant surprise, she is my best friend in the whole world. She's the sister I always wanted (and I have 3!)

 

In celebration of best friends, show us what you're getting yours! I am off-loading my ENTIRE stash of samples to her and I've been helping set up her 1 year old's princess room by going around town for the perfect furniture pieces and commuting an hour to her place every single weekend,

 

To best friends!  They make champagne more bubbly and heartbreaks less painful.

 

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kssweetheart

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

As a 'ps' - it can be hard making friends when you're an adult, we have responsibilities and commitments that we didn't have as 'youngsters'.

 

I wanted to tell you that I love that she is the sister you always wanted, even though you already have 3. Very funny and sadly, my situation seems to mirror yours. You worded it so nicely. Here's to hoping that maybe somewhere down the road, maybe our actual sisters will become better friends and be the sisters we always wanted too. You just never know.

 

It's very special that you are a part of her daughters life and that you have a real and powerful love for both of them, they are lucky to have a friend like you, and lucky to get all of those samples & things, my eyes are popping out of their sockets and I'm drooling. If you ever need another best friend, call me.

 

This was a great thread, thanks for posting this. Sorry mine was so looooong, yours was the perfect length. Enjoy the holidays and enjoy the special ladies that have come into your life, it will be wonderful watching that little princess grow up and that is something that you can really bond over and it will truly cement your friendship. All the best to you. :smileyhappy:

kssweetheart

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

[ Edited ]

Hi lilyyy - I really love your story and I'm so glad that you posted it. I had a bad experience with work friendships and swore I'd never make friends with people from work, ever. I was best friends with 2 girls at work, 2 separate relationships, eventually we became a trio and things were good for a while, until one girl, I'll call her girl "B" (interesting that I chose to call her girl "B",as it turns out that the letter "B" is the first letter of a word that describes her well, sad, but true)So girl B decided that she didn't like that I was THE best friend of girl "A", she wanted to be the bestie. Well, I didn't know what hit me, my friendship with girl A was over & it ended very badly, she hated me, she left the company. The End. (Girl A was my longer and much more cherished friendship)  I ended my friendship with B not long after that. I pieced it all together after a long while, B was a devious, horrible person and when I found out that she did the same thing to other people (both before and after she destroyed my relationship with A) then it all made sense. :smileysad:

 

So, no more work friends for me, ever!! UNTIL I met someone who wears the same perfume I usually wear, Oscar de la Renta. Our relationship progressed slowly, I was very cautious. Fast forward, she's one of my 3 closest friends to this day, for MUCH longer than I care to mention. I was always pleasant and friendly to all of my co-workers, even after the bad trio, I just didn't become Friends with anyone until my Oscar loving buddy. She moved out of state a long time ago, but that hasn't ended our relationship. I miss having lunch with her, we went out almost every day, unless I had lunch with someone else who she wasn't friendly with or crazy about, (one man in particular, who she hated, and she was right, he was a bit of a skunk. You can't win em' all.) She's also about 20 years older than I am, it's never been an obstacle for us. (I have to find out for sure how much older she is, find out if her next b'day is a super special big one.)

 

So, I recommend work friendships as long as you enter cautiously and are mindful of all the office politics and the catty, evil people who can destroy a once strong & wonderful friendship. I still miss girl A, I really loved her. I cried over that loss for Years!! I sometimes wonder if I should call her, she really never explained things to me, she just acted very differently and eventually left and ended things. 

 

What do you think?? Ladies, should I call girl A? Do I ask her what happened, how she saw things and why she got so distant & frankly, mean.? :smileysad: My heart is very sad right now. :smileysad: Do I call her? Any ideas?

 

I'm glad you posted this, maybe I'll get some ideas about calling/not calling girl A, and what to say if I do. But also because I can share with you the story of the amazing relationship I've been blessed with, that started all because of Oscar. Thanks Oscar!! :smileyhappy: :smileyhappy:

killahbabe

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

Awe... definitely give your old pal a call! Made me sad to read your story :smileysad: Life is too short to not reach out if she's still important to you. Good luck, Kssweetheart! :smileyhappy:

katie1724

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

[ Edited ]

I totally agree with this! Life is too short not to reach out. I lost touch with a lot of friends (it was my fault) and even though it seems hard, it feels so much better once you've tried to make amends (even if nothing comes of it). You never know -- maybe she has been thinking about you, too, and will be thrilled that you decided to get in touch. If she isn't, then you have the satisfaction of having tried, and at that point, it is her loss.

kssweetheart

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

Thanks again Katie, I'll update you guys tomorrow. I'm hoping for the best but I know there's only so much I can do, certain things are out of my control. Thanks. :smileyhappy:

lilyyy

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

I would call or maybe text. I'm sorry this happened to you, my heart is hurting just reading it. 

 

Work friends are so hard to make. You can never be quite sure if someone is just using you or not. I hope you find an even better best friend in your life. Not soon, but one day. She's worth the wait! 

PinkQ

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

[ Edited ]

I was like "awwww" the whole time I was reading your post. Yes yes yes! Call her! Based on what you said, you seem to value this friendship a lot. Maybe you two can reconcile and be friends again = this would be one of your most awesome Christmas presents this year :smileyhappy:

You're very sweet! If I were girl A, I'd have missed you a lot too :smileywink:

kssweetheart

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

You guys are so amazing. Thank you for all the kind words and encouragment. I posted a response with details above (under **spoiledbrat's ** response). I tried to call after reading everything you wrote, I think it is a good thing and that this all fell into place for a reason. Didn't think anyone would get through my lengthy post but you guys did, thank you, thank you. You are all so special and you made me feel special.

So, with a twinkle in my eye, a song in my heart and, oddly enough, butterflies in my stomach (??) I anxiously await daylight so that I can try to reach her. You have lifted me up, if that makes sense, and have stripped away a lot of bad stuff that frees me up so that I can call her with a feeling that this is meant to be, right now. Yes, mending things would be the best X-mas present. <3 <3

This all sounds a little syrupey/syrupie (??) but it's from the heart, just like all of your loving, encouraging words were. I think that regardless of how things go if I'm able to reach her - I just realized that the awesome X-Mas present might be what I got from and felt from all of you tonight.

You are wonderful. :smileyhappy: Thanks girlfriends! :smileyhappy: <3 <3 :smileyhappy:

jammiex33

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

this is a bit off of the topic, but i recently met the boy i had a crush on in first grade in University!

kssweetheart

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

Oh my gosh, that is so sweet. Does he know you had a crush on him? Do you Still have a crush on him? Come on, spill it. :smileywink:

jammiex33

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

hahah aww thanks (; i definitely got the feels when i saw him again. he doesn't know how i felt before though.

 

he's soooo extremely shy but the weird thing is that it seems like the tables have turned this time. i don't want to assume, but all of my friends are positive that he is crushing. he does little things like stare, move in closer to me when we talk alone, or hang out where i hang out, or sit where i usually sit. so I'm hopeful that we can start something 

kssweetheart

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

I love this story!!! I think that sometimes you just know what someone is feeling and it sounds like you are spot on with this one. I can't wait to see how things go, I'd love to know how your journey with him progresses. I hope this is magical for the two of you. You can send me a PM if you'd like. I'm sort of living vicariously through you at the moment, reliving some things from my past. Best of luck. I hope this is great!! :smileyhappy:

jammiex33

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

thank you so much ! <3 

im so happy and grateful for your support,

you are sooo sweet !!

i'll let you know how things go ~ thank you for listening ^^

kssweetheart

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

It's totally my pleasure, you can send me a PM if you feel like chatting about him or anything else.

I think you should try to get some Mistletoe! :smileywink: :smileytongue:

wingatprsct

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

I met my best girlfriend (my husband is my best friend) at a summer church camp.  We were both attending as children's music directors.  We hit it off immediately!  She lives 1 1/2 hours away.  We both have church musician/director jobs and we constantly rely on each other for support.  Her birthday was yesterday and I sent her a card.  We are meeting tomorrow and I'm taking her to a garden that has been amazingly decorated for Christmas.  It is acres of incredible lights, music, and fun displays.  She is the sister I never had.  Sadly, she doesn't have my obsession for makeup but she does appreciate the goodies I pass on to her.

missabee

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

This is a sweet post and makes me yearn for the memories of sisterhood and hopeful for future special girl bonds. 

 

But, holy cow - that sample stash is a sight! Maybe the prettiest thing I have seen all year! Pearl is a lucky girl :smileyhappy:

lilyyy

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

She IS lucky, but not because of the stash! Her husband and daughter are both awesome and fun. :smileyhappy:

ExcessiveGlam

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

[ Edited ]

My best girlfriend in all the world is my beautiful daughter. Second place goes to my wonderful daughter-in-law. Both young women are full of positive energy, kindness, and love. I can depend on either of them for anything.

 

I can't show or tell what I've gotten them for Christmas because they both visit this site :smileyhappy: 

kssweetheart

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

That's beautiful, ExcessiveGlam. You are all very lucky. Enjoy the holidays and I hope the girls love everything you give them, If it's from Sephora, I'm sure they will. :smileyhappy:

ExcessiveGlam

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

@kssweetheart,  Thank You! I hope your holidays are wonderful as well :heart:

SydBristow

Re: Meeting best friends as an adult.

I am kind of a loner, but my best friend since I was seven is still my best friend. We don't get together as much but I would be there in a second if she needed me. 

 

More recently I switched jobs and I have, to my surprise, found many new friends, and I feel very lucky.

 

What a great post, to celebrate best friends - the "family members" that you choose for yourself. :smileyhappy:

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