I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

The past couple of days have really made me rethink the integrity of this forum.

 

There have been numerous posts from new members or special guests wanting genuine answers to their concerns, and I have seen many sarcastic remarks made towards them about their questions. Yes, they may be repetitive but these are people too.  Everyone has feelings and I don't think it's fair to make fun of someone because they may have asked the same question another person may have asked an hour ago, or a year ago. Sometimes people come in here not to browse, but to specifically only want an answer to their question.  They don't come in here to search for an answer, but to get one.

 

It isn't fair to make a smart remark regarding their questions or inserting an ignorant picture meme. When that person comes back to check for an answer they are viewing this and probably getting their feelings hurt; which may ultimately lead to the demise of BeautyTalk. They will not feel the need to come back or even want to be involved in a place like this. I realize that some people do have a certain sense of humor, but take into account other peoples feelings before posting a 'funny' picture or a smart remark. It may even make them feel like they don't want to make a purchase from Sephora. We don't know how other people think and what they feel. Shouldn't we try to be a little more compassionate and understanding?

 

With a lot of these new posts, we're not sure how old the person is. They could be 12 up to 60. Wouldn't you feel bad if your 13 year old daughter was asking a legit question in a forum and got rude responses? Before we post things, I think we should think first how someone would feel.

 

I really feel like this is high school again with certain clicks judging other new people. Everyone was new at some point and we're all guilty of doing certain things that are plainly stated we shouldn't do in the BeautyTalk Rules. I made a thread before about how excited I was about BT and how I wish sales associates would have told me about BT and got many comments about how many don't like it shared. Is this what we do when we don't want to share? Push them away with bitter, cutting remarks or taunting? Again, some people may not 'get' your sarcasm. There is a time and place for that and a newcomers thread isn't that place.

 

I was new at one point, only a couple months ago, so I am still relatively new. I understand that by posting this, I am probably setting myself up for some nasty PM's or will no longer be accepted in this world. But, ultimately I want to express my feelings because I do have such a strong passion about this subject. I was once bullied in high school and when I see certain comments or posts, it brings back bad memories and I empathize with the person whom its directed towards. It's just not fair to do some of the things that have been going on the past couple of days. Treat others how you would wish to be treated.

 

If I'm not welcome in here anymore by speaking my mind, I will at least bow out knowing that I did what was right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Someone got their feelings hurt on the internet....Really how old are all of you?? Not sure I want any advice with people like this. Seems to me a lot hypocrites after reading all of these. Just a newcomer's observation. 

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

LOL.  I always love responses like this.

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Thank you for being brave enough to say what some of us have kept to ourselves! I am sure no-one was being intentionally mean-spirited, but it is difficult to tell sometimes when all you see is words on a screen. I am really sad you got a mean PM directed at you, but applaud you for letting it slide. You seem like a wonderful and positive person and I hope you don't let anyone get you down! <3

 

I can understand why someone might not use the search bar. Sometimes people simply come to the forum to ask a specific question with NO knowledge that their question has been asked many times, or think that it's weird to add their question to someone else's- "Oh, btw, I also have brown eyes but my hair is blue, what would work for me guys??". When I first found the forum, I actually had no idea that it had been around a while, and so people have talked about the same thing many many times before.

 

I think reminding people to use the search bar was a great idea, but some people just took it a little far (even though I understand completely that it was all in jest). I really hate the search bar, and even the advanced search doesn't help much. So many times I want to find something and simply give up. There have been times I have been afraid to post for fear of people thinking I'm being repetitive and getting rude about it. For the most part though, I think everyone has been nice and welcoming, I just want to say, let's give everyone a chance! It's annoying to see those repetitive newcomer posts, I agree, but it may just be something we have to deal with. I hope the mods will figure something out, such as adding a note at the top of the forum like: "Please try using the search bar for your questions, and if you don't find your answer, make a new thread about it!"

 

Just my two cents Smiley Happy

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

This thread has disgusted me. I don't like the accusations and the shaming and the lecturing. Smell you later. Smell you later forever.

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

No one came in here with pitch forks and torches taking prisoners and putting their heads on pikes.  It was all in fun-fun that we were having with each other.  No one wanted to hurt anyone. Maybe it got a bit carried away but NO MALICE was involved.  No one was bullying or berating any individuals. When we saw this post we took it seriously and said we didn't mean any harm and last night was not going to be an ongoing thing.  That was sincere.  To  vilifying the participants is wrong. You don't ask people to come on and play nice and then beat them with a stick like a pinata.   A point was made.  The point was taken.  It doesn't require any further drama.  

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Garnett, I don't know if you look anything like your avatar, but I keep imagining a woman with a sleek bob and perfectly applied lipstick with this sort of "Get it? Got it? Good!!" attitude. I love it! Smiley Very Happy

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

LOL  Actually It's pretty close except that my neck is not long and graceful like hers.  Smiley Very Happy

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Brava, Garnett!

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Warning: this ain't short! (Clearly Smiley Tongue)

 

Jenjen, I applaud you for speaking your mind, rather than letting your nerves get the better of you. I can see that I am not alone in doing so!! I have spoken with many BTers regarding the air of hostility that can get a little nippy at times here on the forum. Overall, I think that BeautyTalk is a wonderful place--somewhere I am infinitely thankful to have found--but my main issues are with those who seem to take things too seriously, and those who are mean-spirited. Rules of etiquette don't seem to translate seamlessly onto the internet on any forum I've come across, including this one--there is always room for improvement. I think that it's important to always keep this in mind: we're here to have friendly, informative fun. BT is a place where no one will look down upon your hundredth palette, or lipstick, or whatever-it-is purchase. It's a place where we can learn through the wisdom, experience and experimentation of others. I was pleasantly surprised to find that BT transcends the far-reaching realm of beauty--people are willing to share with and support others no matter whether it be mourning a discontinued HG item or bolstering someone struggling with emotional insecurities. People are bound to misstep, or overstep the boundaries of another, but such instances should be the exception, not the rule. I don't mean to talk anyone's ear off--so I'll try to bring this to a quasi-graceful conclusion. I hope I don't sound too melodramatic, but here's my bottom line: Compassion, empathy and understanding have as much of a place online as they do off. Hostility, ill-will and rudeness do not. 

 

I love you guys Heart

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Lilahtov is BT's goddess. Smiley Happy <3

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Stop looking the mirror, Mary! Smiley Very Happy

 

Cheesy, but true. Love you, girl!

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

She is. You are too though Mary. I always love your advice as well.

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Aww thank you Smiley Happy

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

[ Edited ]

No problem.  I might not talk much on the BT boards, but I am always lingering and reading threads.

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

I agree! Lilahtov and marydiva were two of the people who inspired me to start posting instead of just reading! You're both so positive and supportive!

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

*virtual pound it/high five with marydiva*

 

Student beauty junkies unite! Haha Smiley Happy So happy to hear we two could inspire you, missr! 

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

(0) Hearts

Start a: Those who inspire me on BT thread. Actually, that isn't a bad idea. o.o

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Have I ever told you how much I admire you, lilahtov?  You always have such wonderful advise and I love reading your posts.

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

(0) Hearts

Aw, Manda thank you!! That is such a lovely compliment. Heart

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

here's an idea:

 

Let's delete both threads.....if you lose hearts, big deal.

 

Everyone said their piece.  If there is repetition, let's nicely link someone...this will encourage them to use the search bar in the future.

 

but the Internet can get nasty and some people are more sensitive than others, so it isn't about whether someone needs to lighten up or grow up.  We have tons of fun on here...it can stay that way.  

 

 Again, please let's keep this a community.

Re: I'm sure I'll get backlash, but I have to say it.

Smiley Sad I haven't seen the thread & probably won't. I hate the idea (on *any* thread) of anyone getting their feelings hurt ...esp. over something such as makeup ...something that should be a happy, fun topic! 

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