mrsbaine

How do you feel about BT lately?

I've read through the guidelines... again, before posting this to ensure that: - I'm Nice - I have Good netiquette - I'm not vague (These are the rules) I'm a little disappointed with BT right now; over the last couple of months, it feels like there have been several issues within the community; heart parties, multiple posts, people complaining about things, and (we'll just call it) member issues. I have a love/hate relationship with this community; I've learned so much and met some amazing people (shout out to SparkleKai, Vanillammm, Loretta, Killahbabe, Hackney, Lari, KB, Linda, Annec322, {I'm sure I'm forgetting someone... sorry- it's like an oscar speech}) but it just feels like some behaviors are allowed and tolerated while others aren't. As much as I said I was going to stay away because the community was becoming draining, I find myself back here wanting to help someone, or read something that will enable me. It's really confusing and awful. I'm still fairly new to BT, and hear about the "old BT" where everyone was nice to each other, and it was fun (sounds like the 60's), but when I joined, it wasn't so contentious and filled with (be nice, be nice) people who are different. I'm interested to see how others are feeling? Is there something we can do as a community to change this and make BT feel like a functional home again? I'm not looking to stir anything up; I'm genuinely asking for your candor and ideas. I'm sure the Mods and Candace would appreciate anything that helps their lives too.
jellybean917

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

[ Edited ]

I used to quietly follow the BT boards, searching for answers to all of my questions. I started asking my own questions when the search would come up empty. Everyone was kind and responsive. The HoFers were so smart and sweet. I was able to answer questions and give advice in fields of my strength too. I became enabled and more knowledgeable, plus made friends along the way. I've even had the pleasure of meeting 3 BTers in person, all of whom are amazing people.

Now, I don't feel comfortable asking for advice. I can no longer "Ask the Experts" because they are so scarce here. Giving advice has become more and more fruitless, and I don't do it as often anymore. I hate being so worried that my opinions about eye cream or makeup brushes will offend someone. I'm not sure why anyone would be so offended or outraged by me, but on multiple occasions I have responded to a question and had people reply underneath me with a rant about how wrong I am about a product. To them I say:

upload_2123321905601011967.jpg

Rather than the community warmth I felt when I starting chiming in, I feel coldness and people on-edge, and plenty of people willing to play the victim while being aggressive. Perhaps I just don't belong here anymore.

sonofmanjesus

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

My thing is anyone can find anything offensive or rude. Most things are done in fun an I find that the random chiding is the mods bullying. They just hide behind their curtain like the wizard of oz. I have also noticed if someone disagrees with a male on here it is completely deleted and you have to be nice because they are men. I have seen numerous instances of the same comments to new women posters and they have been overlooked. Way t i discriminate 

oklady2013

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

Yep so true. If someone wants too be offended they'll find a reason no matter how nice others may or may not be.

anaa

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

I've been posting since 2010, and the thing that has turned me off the most is the banning issue and being admonished by mods as if we are children.  It would behoove Sephora to be a little more respectful of its customers, especially those who take the time to post on its forum.  If the thought is that anyone in this group is expendable, the company will regret that. There is a group of rouge status people who no longer are purchasing from Sephora because of the way they or their friends have been treated here and it is growing in size.  I don't know who the final "decision maker" on banning folks is, but I believe the issue needs to be re addressed.  I for one am not going to participate in a forum sponsored by a company that allows its moderators to arbitrarily ban or delete posts at their individual discretion without any standards, that's just not fair. 

ragdoll4mom

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

We all come from different backgrounds, stages in life, etc, and not everyone is going to agree with everyone else 100% of the time.  Our differences are what make us each unique.  What one finds funny, another thinks is distasteful.  We just have to accept our differences and try to be nice to each other.  It's okay to disagree.   What a boring world it would be if we all had the same likes and dislikes!  I'm glad the forums/topics allow us to engage in those topics we find interesting and to keep on scrolling past the ones that may be offensive or uninteresting to us. I just don't understand why people continue to read topics/forums that they find distasteful or rude. 

snowshoe

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

I've moderated forums (not beauty-related) online for 15+ years so I know the job of moderating is far from easy...but I'd like BT a lot better if the forum rules and terms of service were applied consistently to all members.  But it seems like the moderators pick and choose what they want to enforce and with whom.   My opinion for the two cents that it's worth.

emmaclaire

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

I think it would start feeling more like a home if people realized that making friends with other members (or even groups of members) isn't a "clique."  I read so many "I hate mean girls" posts that seemed like they were just angry that friendships had formed, but at the end of the day, everyone that I've had the pleasure of becoming friends with have been so open and willing to include anyone, there's no reason to hate them for being friends - just be nice and friendly and you'll see that everyone will want to be your friend!  

 

I've been on BT for a really really really long time.  Apparently I'm an original BT-er.  That being said, I didn't participate as much until 2012/2013.  I felt very new, and definitely noticed that there were some names that came up very often and it was clear that friendships had developed.  Rather than arbitrarily deciding that there was a clique and I was being excluded, I watched what the more established members did to learn the norms of the community and made sure to do my best to follow their lead by being helpful, respectful, and friendly.  I knew nothing about the backgrounds of heart parties or the llamas or mustaches at first, but one day there was a silly thread about basically nothing that I thought was so funny, I chimed right in anyway.  And guess what?  No one told me I wasn't cool.  No one told me I wasn't part of "the clique".  And no one told me I couldn't sit with them.  These amazing ladies responded happily to me, and I'm so happy to say that I've formed really wonderful friendships with a lot of BT members.  

 

The desire to be included is natural, but I hate that so many BT members have decided that if they see existing friendships, it's tantamount to an exclusive clique and it should be destroyed and denounced as inappropriate.  That's a great way to turn the community into a cold, untrusting, unfriendly place where everyone's too scared to be overly friendly to any one particular user.  You will never have a warm, home-y environment while that mindset prevails.

NahiNahi

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

I don't know what's going on too much but I have to say I agree with the clique sentiment. I don't even see it at all. I started posting Nov 2013, don't know what that makes me, and stopped posting and reading a few months ago (probably around the time the non makeup stuff was moved away from the front page). I also just jumped right in responding and people were quite nice to me. I mean, it's just like anywhere new you go in life (if you're feeling that there's a clique going on) where you are new and everyone knows each other. It takes some time and then one day you're part of it and there's the next new person. I just started a new job and everyone knows each other and hopefully in a little while I can be part of the group. It actually was easier here, though. Now that I think about it there's usually always some RAWR going on with message boards but I don't really remember that here.

Just my long way of agreeing with you lol.

killahbabe

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

And THIS is what makes BT so freaking cool! I too am an "original BT-er". Well, that's what Candace tells me at least :smileytongue: But I didn't start posting until the end of October 2013. When I got here, there were obvious friendships and HoF-ers who were respected and cool and had a ton of hearts. But I didn't let that intimidate me or make me upset. I was just myself. And guess what? When I gave myself the freedom to be me, people liked it. I participated in the heart parties, made jokes, and started a lovely mustache craze on BT. I have catchphrases and photoshop pictures that people identify with me. People will care to get to know you if you're open to it. It's the people who show up acting like they know it all that get the flack - and I get it. Sometimes I give those kinds of people sh!t too. But I can guarantee if you come to one of my heart/mustache/Cheers parties and post in the spirit of fun, I will give you a heart. I don't care if your brand new, we don't get along, whatever. If you've got a good attitude in that moment, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. And I believe that's what most people here do. Just don't be shady/steal a TSB/talk out of your @rse and you'll be fine. :smileytongue:

 

Posting this now it looks like I'm directing this to Emma, but I'm not. Her post just inspired me to post. Emma can sit with me any day! In fact, she has her own chair! :smileyvery-happy:

emmaclaire

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

Girl don't pretend you weren't directing that first line at me, duh :smileywink: :smileywink:

 

Willam When its Right.gif

killahbabe

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

If I mention anything being awesome, I'm talking about you! :smileyvery-happy:

sparklekai

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

what am i chop liver?

killahbabe

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

Pretty sure I sent you treasures from another freaking country for you, SK! :smileytongue: I think that means you're special too! :smileyvery-happy:

mrsbaine

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

I'll be the first to admit that when I was brand new on here, I had a disagreement with a couple members, and now we're great! Emma gave me some good advice, which I took and everything got worked out. I completely understand that misunderstandings happen- and the key is communication. However, sometimes when people aren't capable of communicating at a baseline level, due to incapacitation, or age, then it's annoying. 

 

sparklekai

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

mrsb can tell you i'm not the evil sparkle some think i am :smileyvery-happy:  

Zpsid91

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

evil sparkle! I like it :smileyhappy:

sparklekai

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

you know those little people that sit on your shoulder?  mine aren't people they're sparklez!!!

emmaclaire

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

Aw, thank you <3

 

I agree that communication is key.  I have certainly posted things that I looked back at later and thought, "Wow, that's not how I want to represent myself."  Everyone has at some point in their lives.  But when that happens I try to make it right - either by communicating directly with the person I have wronged or, if that's not possible for whatever reason, by keeping in mind that my further communications within the community need to be better.  

ragdoll4mom

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

I miss the fun and witticisms of many of those who left.  I would come on just to get some good laughs from Spoiledbrat's posts (and others).  I don't remember who posted Paula Deen riding a meatball, but that is a sight that I'll never unsee!  It was so funny!  Any time I hear or see anything about M Cyrus being a wrecking ball, the meatball image comes front and center in my mind.  Would anyone be willing to clue me in to the new site where you have all gone?

bunnybarkley

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

Someone posted a picture of Paula riding a meatball? This is just uncalled for and tacky. 

sdbeautyjunkie1

Re: How do you feel about BT lately?

I think what you mean is completely awesome 

Advanced
You must be signed in to add attachments
Conversation Stats
  • 156 replies
  • 5124 views
  • 1166 hearts
  • 51 in conversation
    • kenny
    • prettyinpa
    • killahbabe
    • anaa
    • emmaclaire
    • quixotic
    • kristallovesdogs
    • dianabt
    • ChicDabbler
    • mrsbaine
    • veronika23
    • joeanne
    • BeautyJunkie325
    • lucyshnoosy
    • properlylost
    • miabt
    • ragdoll4mom
    • chelssss
    • Missie772
    • nebel
    • candacebt
    • jellybean917
    • snowshoe
    • oklady2013
    • calamityjane85
    • notcreative
    • SydBristow
    • anb0906
    • Zpsid91
    • rjamlt
    • jozkid
    • NahiNahi
    • Teresaanne92
    • love2shop42
    • sparklekai
    • beauty4ashes
    • kbmatthews
    • chelsd
    • gogreyhound
    • m3rma1d
    • comfyrock
    • sdbeautyjunkie1
    • hackneyfl
    • LariTheLoud
    • redwagon44
    • sonofmanjesus
    • etscore1
    • imbeautiful
    • KellyJ1028
    • DarkCloud
    • bunnybarkley
Photos7
  • they reward.jpg
  • unillama copy2.jpg
  • Cheers copy7.jpg
  • Cat pack.jpg
  • upload_2123321905601011967.jpg
  • trollin.jpg
  • Willam When its Right.gif