Getting Personal

katimae

Getting Personal

I just wanted to tell you guys how much you help me out.  I suffer from EXTREME Depressive Disorder. I'm actually on Disability for it even though I was able to get a Degree with a Concentration and 2 Minors at NCState and work till I was 30.  This board has helped me to interact with other people instead of going into myself. It''s gotten me to get up, get dressed, AND put makeup on :smileywink:, and laugh (really hard).  I even got to do something for someone else with TSB and went out to the Post Office twice that day (my parents were in shock I think :smileyhappy:  So I just wanted to thank you so much for just being apart of this board because if you wern't on it, it wouldn't be the same!

prettyinpa

Re: Getting Personal

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@daisy-  I had no idea that there was a Sephora in Lancaster!  Wow, more places to spend money, I can use the money that I'd normally spend on gas to buy more beauty stuff!!!! How fun is that!

 

Thanks a bunch!

 

 

daisy346

Re: Getting Personal

Yes there is one at the Park City mall on Harrisburg pike, just off route 30. I only live about 10-15 minutes from there so I'm there all the time :smileyhappy: It's not as big as the one at King of Prussia, but very convenient and also less crowded.

tenngal

Re: Getting Personal

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@katimae:  I am just getting caught up on this thread and read about your recent diagnosis of PTSD, etc.  I'm so sorry you've been feeling so poorly, both mentally and with the headache, too.  I've actually been thinking about you and that's why I popped into this thread.  I'll send you a PM later because I've been wanting to talk to you anyway.  You're in my thoughts and prayers! :smileyhappy:

tenngal

Re: Getting Personal

In case you've noticed that I've barely been on Beauty Talk at all lately, it's because of my depression which has worsened lately.  Usually it lets up a bit in the spring, but not this year for some reason.  I just wanted to let all my BT friends know that I'm not ignoring you by not answering posts...it's just that I'm really struggling right now and although I'm trying to work through it, I'm having a tough time.  I've missed you all and hopefully I can myself back together and get back to Beauty Talking soon. :smileyhappy:

shyvicki

Re: Getting Personal

Hearing and reading other's stories of their struggles with an emotional disorder reminds me that I'm not alone. I've battled depression and an anxiety disorder off and on since I was 13 but wasn't properly diagnosed until I was almost 23 or 24. When it's at its worst I don't want to leave my apartment. I normally look for any excuse to get out of it. Along with my meds, I find that yoga and a good diet helps me as well as the support of friends and family.

katimae

Re: Getting Personal

@Vicki:  Thank you so much for sharing.  I started this thread b/c one day I just needed to talk about what was honestly going on with me so badly I thought I was going to split in two.  I started seeing psychiatrists at 14 (and taking meds).  I was suicidal then. I don't remember a time when I didn't have anxiety.  I also have winter depression.  So in the winter I totally hibernate.  I might leave the house once a week.  I can't work (am on disability for it).  And this year is worse because we've had almost no spring.  It's been constantly raining - so no sunlight.  So I do understand and you are NOT alone.  BT has helped me in a lot of ways.  It makes me feel active and involved with people even if it's a different type than conventional society considers.  And at least I'm out of my own head!  - cause God knows that's not always a good place to be.  :smileywink:  If you ever need to chat please feel free to pm me.  Look forward to hearing more from you.--Kati

tenngal

Re: Getting Personal

@shyvicki:  This thread has helped me in knowing that I am not alone, too, in my depression and anxiety disorder.  And I completely understand what you mean when you say that it's hard to leave your house at times.  I have to force myself to get out every few days even when I'm feeling at my worse because if I don't then I end up afraid to leave the house at all.  Thanks for sharing, shyvicki, and you are definitely not alone. :smileyhappy:

katimae

Re: Getting Personal

@tenngal:  Hey!  As I just said to shyvicki, it's been hard for me to come out of it this Spring too.  I'm absolutely starting to, but it's MAY!  I'm feeling like I usually do in March.  I blame the weather.  And I had that really bad run in with that Resident about my PTSD a few weeks ago and I've had a migraine ever since.  Sometimes low lying and sometimes bad, but always there.  I hope you feel great soon!  --Kati

ohhenri

Re: Getting Personal


katimae wrote:

@tenngal:  Hey!  As I just said to shyvicki, it's been hard for me to come out of it this Spring too.  I'm absolutely starting to, but it's MAY!  I'm feeling like I usually do in March.  I blame the weather.  And I had that really bad run in with that Resident about my PTSD a few weeks ago and I've had a migraine ever since.  Sometimes low lying and sometimes bad, but always there.  I hope you feel great soon!  --Kati


I agree with you, katimae. The weather is so bad (the sun didn't show for like 8 days in a row, and the rivers are going mad... ) I usually have a big meltdown during the beginning of winter, but this year have been the absolute worse. I started a new job (I'm a high school /junior high teacher and it my 1st year) and it is so demanding psychologically!!! And the fact that it's raining almost every day in the past month just makes me more depressed.

 

Anyway, we have to keep going... On est belles, on est bonnes, on est fines et surtout, on est capables!!! (Translation 101: we're beautiful, we're smart, we're nice and most of all, we're able to get through this!!)

lashreece

Re: Getting Personal

Katimae I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. I know I can't relate, but hang on to those wonderful friends and your family - God gave them to you to help you through it.  And you are there to help them.  There will be people who turn their back during the rough patches, but those are the people that are not worth your time.  Although I've not had to deal with on-going depression, I have had a couple bouts of situational depression.   I tend to turn in on myself.   My true friends hunt me down and pull me back into the world.  I have also had "friends" who walked away because I had holed up into myself and at that moment was not able to do the things the wanted me to do.  Even though I had been there 1000 times before, they could not understand that this one time I needed them.    I'm glad to hear you have people who will be there for you through thick and thin.  I know that happy times are in your future.   I believe good things happen to good people - it just doesn't always happen when we want it to happen.  

 

Tenngal I'm so sorry you are hurting physically and emotionally.  I know when you don't feel good physically, it's hard to deal with other stuff.   Keep at the doctors until you get an answer and a solution.  About 10 years ago I woke up one morning with unimaginable back pain.   I could barely walk.   I saw no less than 15 doctors.   They did xrays, MRIs, untrasounds -you name it.  I had doctors tell me it was my imagination, that I was drug seeking, etc.   But no one could tell me what was wrong or how to fix it.  It finally got better - but not before I ruined my stomach taking large quantities of advil and aspirin.   Well a few years back I went to a chiropractor after a car accident.  She took a full body x-ray.  She put it up on the light board and said - I see you broke your pelvis a while back.   At first I thought she meant from the car accident, but she then she said it was an old injury.  It was clear as day on the xray.  Why no one else found that, I have no idea. How I broke my pelvis, I have no idea.  But  It explains the pain...she said she was surprised I was able to tolerate it and that I must have a high threshold of pain.   No - it was just that no one would believe that there was something was really wrong.  So see as many different doctors as you need until you get a real answer.  Also try lots of stuff- even if it sounds crazy at first.   I have found chiro adjustments, massage, and acupuncture does a world of good.  I have arthritis in all of my joints - and it makes a world of difference.  Also look on-line for a product call Biofreeze.  Its a topical ointment that you rub anywhere it hurts...does wonders.  Be carful of nsaids - they will kill your stomach.  Don't let the pain wear you down. 

 

Mermadalove  I pray that God will bless you and your husband and give you the strength and courage to do what you need to do.  I have several friends struggling to get pregnant right now.  Why do the good ones struggle and the ones who have no ?Business procreating don't even have to try?

 

 

Hugs to you all.  I wish I could send my puppies over to give you all snuggles :smileyhappy:

tenngal

Re: Getting Personal

@lashreece:  I just popped onto Beauty Talk for a few minutes and read your post about your broken pelvis ordeal that you went through.  It amazes me how doctors can miss such obvious things sometimes.  Thanks for the encouragement to keep seeking answers about my shoulder pain.  It has become almost unbearable lately, but I go to the doctor tomorrow and I'm going to insist that he go ahead and send me to the "shoulder guru" in their orthopedic office.  Apparently each doctor has a specialty, such as knees and hips, or shoulders, or hands, etc., and I'm seeing the PA right now that troubleshoots before sending a patient on to the actual specialty doctor.  Anyway, I've had enough and I'm going to tell the PA that I want to see the shoulder doctor right away.  I am so sorry to hear that your friend committed suicide, lashreece.  That is horrible, but some people don't show any signs or reach out for help so there is no way to help them.  Again, I'm really sorry about your friend and thanks for your kind words of encouragement. :smileyhappy:

mermadelove

Re: Getting Personal

@lashreece and everyone else here: Thanks for your encouragement!

Thanks again especially to katimae for starting this post. I haven't been on beautytalk for the past week because I had migraines 5 out of 7 days last week. Usually I'm ok about having them because I feel like so many people have much bigger things than that to deal with, but this past Saturday I had one that was so bad I almost went to the hospital. I hadn't had one that bad since last year. The fact that it came after a week of having them is what put me over the edge emotionally. I feel better now, but for some reason, when I'm having a migraine, I always look at them as something that I'm making up or that isn't a big deal. When I'm not having one, I realize that this is part of the weird neurological process that changes my thinking when I'm in ti. I mean, really. Who the heck would CHOOSE to suffer in that way?? Sharing with you ladies helps to ground me.

Thanks again!
You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

supertrixie

Re: Getting Personal

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i hope you feel better mermadelove!!! i <3 you!

<3

st_c

tenngal

Re: Getting Personal

@mermadelove:  I'm SO sorry to hear about your terrible ordeal with the migraines.  Having them almost constantly for a week is almost unbearable and I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better now.  I've mostly just been popping onto Beauty Talk when I see a post has been posted to this thread to try to keep up and see that everyone is okay.  This depression of mine has gotten me not wanting to do anything at all.  Maybe I need to MAKE myself get back to beauty talking and see if that might help.  Oh well, here I go whining again when all I wanted to do is say that I'm really glad you're feeling better and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  Take care...:smileyhappy:

katimae

Re: Getting Personal

@Mermadelove:  When you have a migraine that goes on for a bunch of days in a row it's called a cluster.  My one Neurologist told me that.  I have gotten them like that and know that they're awful.  I have a migraine today (it's hormonal & 4 days early!) and I'm so nauseous I can't  move anything but my fingers!  LOL  I have the laptop tilted against couch against my knees.  I took a phenagan so I'm starting to feel a little less sick to my stomach but a little groggy.  I'm gonna try to get through this though before I take a nap.  I understand why your mind would go that way about headaches being fake or unimportant when you have one.  Think about the TV shows we saw when when we were little.  The poor, frail  wife had to take to bed because she couldn't handle a headache.  Get out of sex by faking a headache.  Over the years men have used headaches with women as a weakness and excuse.  It's one of those things that has been ingrained into our generation.  I'm glad that at least when the migraine is over you realize your thinking wasn't quite right.  :-)  And I am soooooo sorry you had to go through soooo much pain and everything that goes with it.  Nobody should have to deal with it!

 

 

@tenngal: hey sister,  I'm so sorry your depression is bad.  I can also relate to that of course.  Mine is good in the summer though.  I'm very seasonalized.  I think it would be a good idea if you could try to come on BT a little more often.  Not only are you missed and you give such good feedback and advise but I do think it would be good for you.  I know that when my depression was so bad I couldn't leave the house this year that having BT sure helped me from feeling I was totally isolating. And don't ever think that when your talking about how you feel, your whining; we want to know how your doing.  You're important!

 

 

mermadelove

Re: Getting Personal

@anaa: My mom had one for a whole year while she was going through menopause and now she doesn't get them vry much anymore unless by one of her triggers. I haven't had one since Wednesday, so that makes me happy! My husband wants me to go see a specialist, but I don't know if I want to right now. I don't want any more drugs.

 

@katimae: Thanks for the info! I learn so much from fellow migraineurs!! I am thinking of doing the Botox injections if they will be covered by my insurance. I just don't want to take any more pills!

 

anaa

Re: Getting Personal

@mermaidlove - I know what you mean about going to more specialists.  At the time I was sent to Jefferson Hospital in Philly and I met with the head of neurology.  All he offered was to try to minimize stress and ruled out any physical issues, i.e.. tumors etc.  It's not possible for everyone to eliminate stress, so I didn't find his advice to be helpful.  But I do wish you and all the others who have posted the best.  I have an aunt who also got them for days and she just turned 90 and hasn't had one in years.....which reinforces my hormone theory.

katimae

Re: Getting Personal

@Anaa:  Who did you see at Jeff; I went to the head of their Migraine clinic too!  weird

 

@tenngal:  Thank you.  I do know what it's like though. Just keep doing your best! Peace & vibes...

katimae

Re: Getting Personal

Oh Ladies... I have a problem.  I think I am falling for my roommate.  And he's not the best guy to fall for  -- of course.  We've been roommates for 1 1/2 years.  And he's just been getting to me in you know, that way.  And I have not even dated since my divorce THREE YEARS AGO.  But I would hate to ruin our friendship. And he is the best roommate I've ever had.  But what if we get along so well living together b/c we,re suppose to be together?Ohhhhh,man, I don,t know what to think!  It's really hot down here at the beach.  Record heat wave....

katimae

Re: Getting Personal

Ok ladies I'm back to the same problem that I started at the bottom of Page 9.Except for the whole time it's been going on I've been at the shore and now I'm going home in 2 days.  I'm so nervous I can barely eat.  He too is now showing complete and total interest. And using the word love a lot.  I'm losing it. I really think this is what I want but I want it  to go slow but we've already been living together 1yr 1/2.. It's the best relationship I've ever had with a guy let alone a roommate.

 My Grandfather died during the Depression and so to make money my Grandmother took in borders.  Well she started liking one of those borders so she made him move out, they ended up married and he was my mom's Step-Dad. Now this was the late 1930"s.  Should I make him move out?.  They always said I had a lot of my Grams in me.  70 yrs later. hmmm.oh boy

prettyinpa

Re: Getting Personal

@katimae-  Nope, I don't think he should move out. Your grandmother undoubtably had her suitor move out so there was no hint of impropriety, but that was very important in those days. Not so today, since you are already living together, I don't think it would raise anyone's eyebrows if you took your relationship to the next level. I suspect everyone already thinks that you are more than just landlord and tenant anyways, so as my Grandma used to say "Give 'em something to talk about!"

 

You are wise to try to take things slowly as this is a new experience for you both and it does take awhile to realign your thinking. It is great that he isn't backing off with a "Whoa here, let's not be hasty"!  I think if you both go slowly, no one's feelings will be hurt if it doesn't work out, or it takes awhile to iron out any "wrinkles" (don't you just wish Sephora sold wrinkle remover for relationships)? LOL 

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