Copycat

ayen85

Copycat

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Ladies,how do you handle copycats?! Copycats who ask for your opinion be it makeup,clothes,anything you like or want and just post it online to make it as their Own?Ive had it with these kind of people!

i have a "friend" who would always ask the brands i like,or the price for the things i acquire and the next thing i know she had a photo on facebook wearing the same item i got! even her husband does that too with my hubby.how annoying is that?! 

Im too old to post about this but i just dont know how to handle them anymore.they brag about their stuff, and they are annoying as anyone ive ever known.they even STALK us online!!! (Why,hello there!) they're so obnoxious and i couldnt take it anymore!  Even the stuff we have at home they would ask us where we bought it and how much its priced. Seriously, they dont know anything about good manners. I dont ever ask someone how much her things are worth,its too personal for me. And having someone as a friend who copies and disrespects u is just so irritating!

violalea

Re: Copycat

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gosh yep stay away from these 2 asap !!!!!!!

Spieluhr

Re: Copycat

I feel all of you, girls! Especially you, catherineu2. Just keep your distance from people like that - it wouldn't kill you to find friends that can actually say something nice to you and mean it! I had recently broke ties with a bff that I knew for over a decade. I did something really nice for her, and of course, she was also this way - selfish, always wanted "1-up" me, brag about how this guy is flirting with her, or how she wants to get in this guy's pants - just kick these people out of your life. Why keep them around when all they do is constantly make you feel like crap, and compare themselves to you? Doesn't sound like a true friend to me.

ayen85

Re: Copycat

i read somewhere online that competition is healthy but overdoing it is not! Especially when u compare urself with friends! Its more like putting people down just so u could feel a sense of superiority. And that for me is pathetic and stupid! I just dont see their point in being competitive with us.when we arrived in the US we were already used to buying things we fancy and we never ever bully or compete with others ever! So  why start now?! I dont wanna play pretend and be all snooty just because iv had more things than others,i compliment them and thats it. Funny how some would make a recent purchase be a big deal,and how they would talk about it for hours! Funny too how we were imitated and we're the ones made to feel crap!

catherineu2

Re: Copycat

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I cut off a relationship with a toxic friend about 2 years ago. She lied about everything and would always make "joking" remarks putting me down. She was very materialistic & superficial. She would say one thing & then later totally deny saying it, even when I had witnesss that were there when she said it. She would borrow things and say she gave them back when really she didn't. I always tried to ignore or brush it off because of her upbringing. Her mother was a complete nightmare and her father never really cared. I finally had enough when she tried to pick a fight & make me feel terrible about a stupid dress. I was trying to sell the bridesmaids dress I was supposed to wear for her wedding that was cancelled years earlier due to her mother's illness. The stupid thing was ugly & didn't even fit me anymore, plus she told me that she would get new dresses when she finally did get married (a fact she totally denied even though other people heard her say it too). I did feel really bad that I hadn't thought of asking her first, which I said to her and apologized profusely but she just kept going on and on and on. What really set me off was that I just had to put my dog down like a day or two before she started this and I was already super upset. I couldn't believe she was acting like that over a stupid dress! I was telling another friend about all of this and she said to me "if she spoke to me the way she speaks to you, I would've told her off along time ago". That really put it in perspective that someone other than myself could see what she was doing. I started wondering if I was friends with her because I liked her or if it was because we had known each other for so long (10+ years). A few days later I told her to come get the dress or I was donating it to goodwill. After she got her ex-fiance to pick it up (long story there too), I cut off all contact with her. It was hard in the beginning but got easier and now I don't regret it for one second. I look back now & see how toxic she was. She was (and still is) the most selfish immature person I've known. I've come to realize that she was/is a sociopath and I am very lucky to have gotten out of the relationship. It was always about her her her. She just couldn't see or care how her actions affected other people. Sorry this is so long but once I started venting I couldn't stop lol. Although I am super happy the friendship is over, it still bother me that there are people like this out there. She caused SOOOO many problems in my life but now I'm free. Don't stay in a friendship because you feel obligated. You will feel much better once you cut all ties.

ayen85

Re: Copycat

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Happy for you catherineu2! i can relate with your friend being a diva.shes a diva amd her husband likes putting people down with his obnoxious jokes. When we first met during a group gathering i was so shocked how he openly corrected others about their grammar! He would laugh @  their faces and just tell them that its the wrong word or how its supposedly pronounced! He would even bully my husband and even stalk him online as he is an avid toy collector. I do agree with the upbringing. We come from the same country,same city,and they would share stories to us about their family so i guess thats also one thing that made them that way.well at least they should have tried to improve their attitude! Now that they have the "money" and the branded things all thats left to change is   themselves. Even with the expensive things u acquire it would be completely worthless if you are rotten on the inside. 

Kiki1517

Re: Copycat

It's really sad how much I actually see this these days. It's rare in my age group (I'm 27) to actually encounter people that are true unique individuals. When I do find genuine friends that do not care about status and materials, I know they are keepers! It's very hurtful when you confide in friends about a splurge that you are saving for and they go and buy the product just to rub in your face that they have more money than you. Like many have suggested, I backed of from alot of friendships and now have many what I call "Facebook Friends" that I choose to interact with only online and not in person. I didn't have much of a childhood, so I certainly don't have time to act childish now, maybe they are just stuck there...

ayen85

Re: Copycat

Im 28 too kiki157. The more i mature the more i realized that genuine friends are so hard to find.more like needles in a haystack! Ive actually had that item for a year now.and when we went on vacation my "friend" tried it on.she was bragging on and on about how she preferred balenciaga over prada so i just thought she wouldnt buy one. On the 3rd day we even made excuses just so we wont go shopping with them,and thats when i bought another one,same brand but diff color. Wen we went back to the hotel they bragged about their shopping trip at nordstrom rack, and ask us about what we bought,so i only showed them my makeup haul and just kept the othersto myself. She showed me her item and i just said "nice". Well maybe my compliment wasnt enought cuz after a few weeks she was taking a loooooooot of selfie photos on facebook with my prada sunglasses on! I have the round and the square ones.she got the square ones.for the life of me i get sooo annoyed with people copying my style.even the blouse i was wearing when we had a vacation which she asked me about she bought one too,not the same brand though but more like the same color and style...i guess im superficial but i just dont like to wear something that a friend has.if u have something i like,i dont and will never go out of my way just to buy the same one like urs. some people just dont have any ounce of respect! i told my husband why cant she just buy chanel,if she wants to compete?!

violalea

Re: Copycat

ayen85,

 

No your not superficial, each person is his/her own individual. I dont want to copy people so dont you copy me. Everyone should see and buy what fits her/him most.

ChicDabbler

Re: Copycat

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Another vote for toxic friend. I'm allergic to clingy people, so when they  talk to me, I just make my answers as short and vague as possible. For question about my stuff, "don't remember" dismissively then shift your focus (or pretend to) to the other conversation going on or start another topic. If they ask too much, just say "I don't care or pay too much attention to these kind of things." Also, cut off and throw away any tags or sticker so they won't get that much out of grabbing your things to look or interrogate you further. Eventually they will lose interest, hopefully.

 

And limit your interactions to them as soon as possible, maybe even take them off your Facebook friends and if they ask, say "really? oh sorry, I was deleting some people I don't remember, that must've been an accident" or if they nag you about being added, say "oh I haven't been on since forever, I'll do that next time." I have an older relative who is kind of like your friend....except she's a generation back and likes to take my things WITHOUT telling me, and when I asked, she said she didn't think I liked it or was interested in it. Fortunately we moved away and now I only see her once a year....and I hide all my stuff, close all the doors and lock my room whenever she visits.

violalea

Re: Copycat

great idea beautytester :smileyhappy:

ayen85

Re: Copycat

Lucky you! unfortunately we couldnt move just yet but we are trying to evade them as much as possible.im crossing my fingers they wont come visit us. I judt dont want to spend time with these people! 

ChicDabbler

Re: Copycat

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I don't own a house so I don't know if there's ettiquette/implied stuff involved, but if they want to visit, maybe say "our house is messy, let's go to yours instead!" and then make an excuse to leave early, or meet/eat/talk in a restaurant telling them "my house is a bit messy" or "we are too lazy/busy to cook/clean up".

 

Skincare/makeup-wise I don't care if somebody copies (lol, or else I wouldn't be on BeautyTalk). As for clothing, I hate people touching/using my things, and I usually shop by myself so I don't think anyone *can* copy me even if they tried. My fashion consists of drugstore/high-end/Chinese street market buys, and half of the time I buy them on sale when only a few left instock, so they can't find/buy them even if they ask (rubik's cube purse? pink camouflage cowboy boots? robin blue patent leather loafer heels?....well, good luck finding them (actually those boots are almost done for, I need a replacement pair and haven't found anything good yet *sigh*)).

ChicDabbler

Re: Copycat

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ps. Oh yeah, since I buy on sale, it's often off season and there's a big gap of time before I debute my "new" purchases, at which point they don't exist instore anymore. o.o

 

pps. If she's copying you, that's just an annoying friend. But if her husband is also....ugh. It's kind of common among asian countries. I guess it's kind of difficult in your situation. Do like I do, peel off all price tags/labels, hide things in and don't let them into your room/closet, and steer conversation away from purchases etc.

ayen85

Re: Copycat

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Im asian too.yes thats quite common for asians! I dont have any problems with relatives though,thank God.but friends?! thats a diff story. Thanks beautytester!

ChicDabbler

Re: Copycat

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Ack, I edited my replies while you are reading. Ok I'll stop doing that. lol.

 

Are your friends asian, too? if so, that kind of explains it. =X

There are limits with relatives, too. My relative took my most expensive toy that my mom saves up to buy for me for my cousin, then a year later I discovered it all dirty and broken outside her house. When I asked, she said she took it cuz she think I was too old for the toy, and didn't give it back cuz she think I didn't need it anymore. She stayed at our house once, and my mom found her trying on the new clothe my mom brought for me....please note, that she's 2 generations older than me....=.=......*sigh*

ayen85

Re: Copycat

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yep 100% asian...i was totally expecting that after moving to another country we are supposed to meet people who are far better than the friends we left back home.silly me!

they are by far the worst of the bunch! so sorry to hear that, selfish people just dont know the meaning of boundaries. relationships should be set with boundaries,there should always be limitations.sometimes i wish i could just post a DO not enter Sign for these people to know that they are not welcome here anymore. these people oftentimes use excuses for their actions,not some well thought excuses though but some hella funny ones and they always always never fail to give u one.

ayen85

Re: Copycat

Well they oftentimes spend the night here at home cuz we are much near to the city compared to theirs which is 2 hours from where we're living. its horrifying to be friends with people who would ask u about things u have,even household decor they would ask us too. Even a mere sticker maker they would talk and say they need to buy one too for their house. Funny their just into imitating what we have. I dont know whats up with them! the husband said they are too naive to tell that others are already offended by their actions.in my book i'd say they are being ignorant. Harsh i know but its the best word i could describe them. 

DTalksAll

Re: Copycat

Same couple you vented about in the other thread? Seriously kick em to the curb. :smileywink: 

Evaluate your friendship. If they are really close to you & you trust them, then confront them & be honest. If they don't mean that much to you, then just slowly distance yourself. If they want to hang out or talk, just say your busy. Eventually you'll just go your separate ways. 

I'm normally a very confrontational person, but my mouth has also gotten me into a lot of trouble over the years. If you can get a clean break (by purposefully avoiding them), that's probably a better route to take then getting her worked up. Do you have a lot of mutual friends? Is there a way of letting some of your other friends know without hurting their feelings? 

ayen85

Re: Copycat

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Yes the same couple dannyc! Well i have been giving excuses on group gatherings for two months now,not returning phone calls and messages.i even created a new skype account just so we wont get in touch....we have a lot of mutual friends.most of them actually and i would say there would be times when we wont have an excuse for group gatherings and thats what im worried about.if given a choice i would never want to see them again,thats for sure!

DTalksAll

Re: Copycat

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Oh gosh, missing out on group gatherings because of her sucks! Have you talked to your friends about her & you're issues? Maybe someone close to you that you trust. Since you can't avoid social interaction forever due to mutual friends, I think a lot of the others provided great advice. When she asks you questions just give her short replies & move on. Distance yourself and she should get the hint. They way you've described her, I feel like confronting her is probably not a good idea. :smileysad: 

prettyinpa

Re: Copycat

To echo the other advice, lose this group of leeches! If you are trapped into a conversation, you can actually turn around their query by asking "Why do you want to know"?  Or "Isn't that a bit personal"? if it really is personal information. You don't owe anyone an explanation or to give out information that you feel uncomfortable with. It's a form of sociopathy and these people feel entitled and will never change, it's not in their personalities. So sorry to hear that you have to deal with these people, but you are far better off without them.

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