lylysa

Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

I just received word that my boyfriend's father passed away today and his family is totally flipped on their heads about the news.

 

He had no physical ailments other than troubled knees and he wasn't sick, but he was found this morning at his home.

 

My boyfriend and I live together and his family still resides in his hometown which is about 6 hours from where we are. He was able to hit the road already to make it over and I'm looking to get things at work settled enough where I can take days off.

 

The last time we spent time and saw his father was at Thanksgiving, his parents are divorced and though normally tension can be quite thick and moments can be quite awkward  when everyone is back together, this time things were very civil and calm. It was surprising how relaxed the atmosphere was and for once I could see my boyfriend and his sister not have to fret over which parent to spend what part of the holiday with what parent.

 

Even though he's not my father or my family by blood, he has accepted me with a loving heart since the day I met him and never hid the fact of how much he loved seeing his son with me being so happy.

 

Just needing some good vibes and thoughts right now, not just for myself, but more for my boyfriend and his family. Beauty Talk has never ceased to amaze me with how supportive and loving we all can be to one another and it's because of that which draws me to share this moment. Some of you might recall a year and a half back when my boyfriend's grandma passed due to Cancer, I'm just hoping that in a time like this I can still turn to you all. *hugs*

oklady2013

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Great to see you back lylysa. thank you so much for helping your brother's sister with skin care & makeup so she has a creative outlet to help her through this time. Hugs to all of you.

 

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lylysa

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

[ Edited ]

I wanted to give all of you an update and also say that the response and support received here have been nothing short of overwhelming breathtaking and more than generous.

 

I traveled to my boyfriend's home town last Wednesday, arrived safe and sound, and the funeral viewing was Thursday evening with the church service and burial on Friday. The amount of support the town and community showed for his father's passing was enormous, I could always gather that he was a well-loved man, but I had no idea just how many people he came to know and touch until I was there. At the funeral home it was so packed that it ended up being a standing room-only type of matter once all the seats were taken, at the church, there was not an empty seat anywhere, and on the way to the cemetery there were cars lined up for blocks ready to drive to the grave site. My boyfriend's father had a Military burial, three older gentlemen performed the service and graciously took the time to explain the meaning behind every action from the firing of the rifles to explaining the colors symbolized by the flag, it was very considerate considering how cold it was that day and how harsh conditions were. Taps was played by my boyfriend on his coronet, which he had not touched in nearly 6+ years.

 

It has been a long process for his family and as much heartbreak as it has caused, it has also been beautiful to see the family rally together and have so many people show so much kindness.

 

We weren't able to make it to his hometown for Christmas and it still stings when I see the gift we had wrapped for his father sitting out, the gift tag, which my boyfriend wrote out, was tucked into his father's shirt pocket before the casket was closed so we were able to have a part of that be with him.

 

Thank you again to everyone here. Honestly, thank you. I know the phrase is simple and it's only two words, but I cannot stress how thankful I am to have you all here offering your support and sharing your own experiences in life where times like these have touched you. I am very humbled and gracious with everyone's selflessness and willingness to just be here for me. Thank you.

 

My mind actually touch into Sephora and Beauty Talk while I was away, my bf's sister came to me Saturday and asked me if I could help her with make up and application. She's never been a girly girl or been too keen on cosmetics, but it was very sweet to be the one she reached out to. I can only imagine how she feels as she was so close to her father, and I like to think that her branching out a bit is a way for her to try to find an avenue and outlet to feel better and cheer herself up. Unfortunately the small town isn't home to any Sephora locations (sad face, I know), so we took a trip to Ulta instead where I grabbed up a basic Juice Beauty skin care set (her skin care regimen basically consisted of cleanser, a day lotion with SPF, and baby lotion), Smashbox's BB trial set (she wanted to keep to the natural look), Smashbox's Try It Kit (she's a fan of eye liner and was blown away by how the Smashbox pencil didn't budge), some Ulta eye liners, brush cleaner, and some Eco Tools brushes. I had literally cleared out all of what make up she did have (6 mascaras that she couldn't remember when she purchased them....in the trash!) and she was left with a mirror, tweezers, one eye liner, and some eye shadow quads and duos. That night before dinner I ran through skin care and some basic make up applications, and care/maintenance tips for the tools and she seemed to really enjoy it. She noted how refreshed her skin felt after cleansing and using the skin care products and how she's going to play around and experiment with practicing more. I wanted to share that bit too with you all, I know make up and beauty products can sometimes be a whirlwind that we get caught up in (enablers much?), but I felt that in this instance, I was able to help give some small peace of mind during a troublesome time by allowing her to put some of the focus back on herself.

 

Once again, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you all so much. *HUGS HUGS HUGS*


Lylysa

bfuller

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

So glad you're back lylysa!  We've truly missed you around here.

And to be such a blessing for your bf's sister!  Wow!!!  :heart:

jaimelove

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

i am glad to hear you guys had such a huge outpouring of support! it sounds like your father in law was a very special man who touched many lives. i am glad you were able to connect with your boyfriend's sister in a way that helped her as well! i hope from here you all are able to start healing from the sudden loss. xoxo

kssweetheart

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

[ Edited ]

Hi lylysa - I wish I'd seen this sooner, but please know that I'll be praying and sending lots of love and good vibes to all of you. It's so hard losing someone, especially with no real warning. My Grandfather passed in his sleep, my Grandmother woke up and he was gone. I wasn't even 2 yrs old, he wasn't ill either but, at least we know it wasn't a painful passing. I'm thinking the same is true for your boyfriends dad. I do believe you are part of the family and I loved the way you wrote that he accepted you with a loving heart....beautiful.

 

My Dad passed in October (2013), and I know it's not easy. Last year (actually Thanksgiving, X-mas 2012 & Mothers B'day & parents Anniversary 2013) my Brother & Sister-in-law got re-engaged and it was the best holiday season we've had in 14 years, for the first time in all of those years, we felt whole again. Sadly, they split up not long after those special days that were given to us. I believe that God knew it was going to be the last T-day, X-Mas, Mom's B'day, and Anniversary that we would have together with my Dad and so he gave us those extra special days to help us through this less than happy extended holiday season - It was a gift and we really feel that and are comforted by it.

 

It seems that you were all given a special gift this past Thanksgiving as well. I hope you can hold on to that beautiful day and that it will help comfort all of you and get you through the rough days ahead. I'm truly sorry for the loss you have all suffered and will keep you in my prayers. I'm glad you turned to bt, we're a good family. Hang in there lylysa. Hug each other even tighter tonight. <3 Take care and safe travels.

mityren

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Sorry to hear this! It's so hard to lose some one suddenly. :smileysad: 

mberteig

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Lylysa, so sorry for your loss, my condolences...we're here to support you!

midnightangel

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Aww that sucks, Lylysa. :smileysad:

My best guy friend lost his father to a sudden heart attack last year so I can imagine what your boyfriend's family must be going through. Sending sympathy & healing thoughts your way.

beautylovingirl

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

I'm so sorry for this loss. I wish I could be close enough to let you actually cry on my should because I would be right there if I could. I hope each day brings you and your boyfriend a little more healing and no words can take away the pain. Just know you have all of our hugs from where each of us are!!!! We love you !!!!

latinadiva

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

I am so sorry for you and your boyfriend's loss. We all know loss is a terribly difficult thing to deal with, and sadly it is made that much worse when you feel like you don't understand it and don't have an explanation for it. Having a family member die suddenly is something I would not wish on anyone. You know your BT Family is with you!

Missie772

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

I am so sorry for you and your boyfriend's loss. I am keeping you and his family in my thoughts and prayers. Sending positive thoughts, comfort, warm wishes in a time of sorrow. *hugs*

wingatprsct

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Lylyssa, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you peace and comfort in this sorrowful time. 

wendyomgwar

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

I wish I knew the right words to tell you and make everything better, but I know that words can only say so much. Rather I just want you to know that if you ever need to tell someone anything or a shoulder mine is right here, and from what other people have told me it's pretty soft :smileytongue:.

I'm sending warm hugs and my prayers to your family, let us know how you're doing you know we care  :smileyhappy:!!

veronika23

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

My deepest sympathies to you and your boyfriend and his family.  Much love :heart: :heart: :heart:

Spyski

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Aw shucks Lylysa! I haven't been on here much lately, but saw I had a PM then scrolled to see what's going on in BT and well I stopped here. I know you got some supportive cats around ya at this time, and I hope the best for your boyfriend and his family on a warm and enlightening recovery. I know it's got to be hard for you and him. Just take things one step at a time. If you need someone to text vent to or just someone to talk to you know where to find me. I'm so sorry to hear this news. One day at a time, girl. One day at a time. 

annonymous1

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

sending positivity and strength to you both <3

lylysa

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Thank you so much to everyone who has reached out to me here and in personal messages. Your kindness and thoughtfulness is comforting and truly appreciated in such a time.

 

I apologize that I haven't been able to get back to each of your comments and posts, but I wanted to let you know that I have read them all and am very grateful to have the support of such a wonderful, strong, and BEAUTIFUL community behind me.

 

For those who have opened up and shared your own personal stories of love and loss, my heart is with you as well, the span of time doesn't apply to whatever hurt, anguish, or sorrow that comes with the passing of a loved one and no matter how long ago it has been doesn't mean anyone should stop caring or forget. I hope that there will be better days to always come and pick up where the worse ones come in, and may those dark times never remain for long.

 

I can't stress enough how relieving it is to be so embraced by you all and even though I have thanked you all, that alone I feel doesn't even come close to expressing what I wish to reciprocate. Thank you, again, to each and every one of you for keeping not just me, but my boyfriend's family in your thoughts, prayers, and hearts as well as for all the virtual hugs and warmth sent.

 

~Lylysa

crayzeeRN

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

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Lylysa, I am so sorry for you and your boyfriend's loss of his father. I will definitely keep both of you in my prayers, and am sending you some serious e-hugs!

lmi82

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

Lylysa, I am so sorry for your loss.

spacesuit

Re: Because you are all so wonderful, I'm needing some shoulders to lean on right now

lylysa I'm so sorry for your loss :smileysad: My heart goes out to you and your loved ones, I'll be sending good thoughts. :heart:

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