waterbaby1981

3 more weeks

ugh.....

 

I've been pretty much on the couch for the past 2, nearly three weeks with only two days I felt good enough to venture into the outside world and get some errands done.  Other than that, I'm sick on the couch with constant nausea still, although sometimes it's just in the evening (TODAY is NOT one of those days).  Promethazine doesn't work.  Soda, however, does work.  Unfortunately, you don't want to drink too much, for obvious reasons.  Water doesn't really help, unless it's ice water.  And now I've got another new symptom, one that I wish had decided NOT to show up this time...insomnia.

 

I haven't gotten much sleep thanks to that, and when I do, it's screwing with my sleeping patterns.  Napping during the day may help me recover some sleep, but doesn't necessarily make up for it.  I've lost count how many days Dan has worked from home so far due to this. 

 

And I still have THREE MORE WEEKS of this.  At least.  Please God, don't make me have this the whole time!  The overbearing, manipulative MIL that thinks she's going to be in the delivery room and there as soon as the baby's born is BAD ENOUGH.  Dan and my mom will be in the delivery room.  That's IT.  His mom doesn't like that idea because it's not fair.  His mom makes my blood pressure rise.  She also thinks we're going to call as soon as I'm in labor so they can come wait in the waiting room, putting more pressure on me and make me feel uncomfortable.  NOT HAPPENING.  We'll call after the baby's born, any potential complications taken care of, and we've bonded with the baby.  Then we'll call them and tell them when they can visit.  Same with my family.  I WILL tell the nurses not to let anyone in otherwise.  Phones are there for a reason.  Call and ASK...they didn't do this last time when I had the two surgeries, blood transfusions, and came in unannounced, when all I wanted to do was recover and tell them to leave me the hell alone.

 

Also, who the hell does she think she is that my husband would disregard our wishes and call to tell her anyway?  He's going to be kinda busy with, I don't know, helping me labor?  And if she tries to tell me what to eat and what not to eat, I'm going to scream. 

kssweetheart

Re: 3 more weeks

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@keelybt - I was so surprised and kinda embarrassed, thanks for sending me a note, I feel a little better.:smileyhappy: That's pretty funny that shadow names have been censored. It'll be interesting as I'm looking around and coming upon some names and thinking  "holy cow, thats gotta be one!" I wonder if some Nars products have been censored, you know which ones I mean. Thanks keelybt!

katie1724

Re: 3 more weeks

@kssweetheart: I would think that "orgasm" (or even g-spot) would have been purposely removed from the censor since NARS is so popular. I'm sure I have been bleeped a few times! :smileyhappy:

keelybt

Re: 3 more weeks


kssweetheart wrote:

@keelybt - I was so surprised and kinda embarrassed, thanks for sending me a note, I feel a little better.:smileyhappy: That's pretty funny that shadow names have been censored. It'll be interesting as I'm looking around and coming upon some names and thinking  "holy cow, thats gotta be one!" I wonder if some Nars products have been censored, you know which ones I mean. Thanks keelybt!


No worries! It happens often enough.  Too Faced Label *bleep* eyeshadow is one of them.

kssweetheart

Re: 3 more weeks

Hey keelybt - of course I had to go and check to see if I could figure out what Too Faced shadow got bleeped (stupid), couldn't find it, is it in a palette? It really is a little surprising, some names are pretty racey. My niece loves doing nails & makeup with me and always checks the names, If I get anything like Nars Orgasm  :smileysurprised:  I'll have to make sure she doesn't get her hands on that!!! Cause I'm not even going there with her. :smileyembarrassed:  Be Afraid, Be VERY Afraid!!!

keelybt

Re: 3 more weeks

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kssweetheart wrote:

Hey keelybt - of course I had to go and check to see if I could figure out what Too Faced shadow got bleeped (stupid), couldn't find it, is it in a palette? It really is a little surprising, some names are pretty racey. My niece loves doing nails & makeup with me and always checks the names, If I get anything like Nars Orgasm  :smileysurprised:  I'll have to make sure she doesn't get her hands on that!!! Cause I'm not even going there with her. :smileyembarrassed:  Be Afraid, Be VERY Afraid!!!



Actually, the Too Faced one has been discontinued, but someone mentioned it the other day so that is why I thought of it.  It is called Label Wh@re. Another one is Urban Decay Sn@tch eyeshadow. 

kssweetheart

Re: 3 more weeks

@keelybt - OMG - I can't believe they actually had the.....guts...to use those names. Guess they're not really that bad, well, actually, the second one's pretty bad. But it catches your attention! That's pretty funny. I wanted to ask another question, it's kind of about my account, customer service on the phone couldn't really help, thought maybe one of you gals could. Do you want to PM me or can I PM you? Thanks keely.

keelybt

Re: 3 more weeks

@Kssweetheart Sure thing! I'll send you a message :smileyhappy:

waterbaby1981

Re: 3 more weeks

Wow...pregnancy brain strikes again!  I was reading one of my pregnancy books last night and just realized that I'm already in the third month at 11w2d.

 

Although some of you may get a good chuckle out of this....Dan had the misfortune of trying to tell me that "nausea is not dehabilitating." (Exact words.)  Wow,  I guess I've just been on the couch downstairs for the majority of the last three weeks because I'm lazy then!  He got an earful about that, considering, you know...if you DO end up tossing cookies, you want to be near a bathroom and then lay down after rinsing your mouth out, right?

 

You'd think he'd know better than to say something like that, considering how I feel right now (although right NOW, I feel pretty okay for once, maybe it'll be a good day) and the fact this is our SECOND pregnancy, not our first.  Boys.

beautytester

Re: 3 more weeks

@kssweetheart. Well, regarding the pet rabbit. My parents were away on jobs in a different city, so my grandma was looking after me. I was probably...9? anyways, I had 2 fluffy white bunnies that we kept on the balcony because they literally chew up everything. One day when I was playing with them, my grandmother said oh they look fully grown, probably good to eat about now, we should cook them. I looked at her straight in the eye and said "NO! If you want to eat rabbit meat, buy your own rabbit and cook them. You do NOT cook MY bunnies. ok? they are mine and you will never ever cook them." She shrugged and said ok. The second day before going to school, I said "don't touch my bunnies ok? don't cook them." she said "ok". That day when I came back from school and opened the door, there it was, 2 rabbit furs drying on the shoe rack and smell of meat stock/soup in the house. I looked at her in disbelieve and she just looked at me and said "this taste pretty good, you want to try some?" I was beyond mad and didn't want to talk to her. Of course, I got a scolding about respecting your elders when I yelled at her, and she basically said "what's the big deal? I'll just buy you another one." That is not the point, but there's no way she'll understand. I know she grew up in the countryside so killing/cooking animal/meat is nothing, but you do NOT cooke SOMEBODY ELSE'S PET!!! That was a one time thing, but she used to frequently take my stuff because I'm too old for them and it's such a waste not to give them to my cousins. Fortunately my parents and I moved to America, so I have to do now is just wish her a Happy Chinese New Year for 3min every year and lock my room when they visit my parents.

 

Fortunately, my grandma on my mother's side is the opposite. She always buy/make/give me stuff and always side with me in arguments. So, in the end I guess it evens out. One's nice, one's bad. One give me stuff, one take away stuff. One that let me do everything, one that does everything against my wish. It evens out....

 

I hate feminine issues. I'm an engineer and work in 80% male environment, so when I have to take a day off cuz I'm nausuated, breaking out in cold sweat constantly and can't move my leg because of the pain, I can't exactly say "sorry guys, menstrual cramps!" so sometimes they were like "you are sick? but you don't look sick." and I'm like "........don't ask and don't talk to me...." And of course, it have to happen at most in-opportune times like interview or exams, at which point I curse the fact I'm a woman and wonder why the hell does women have to go through all these and guys have it so easy etc etc.

kssweetheart

Re: 3 more weeks

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@beautytester.....that is just such a terrible, sad story. My heart really hurts for you (I mean that so sincerely, sometimes things don't seem as heartfelt when you're writing them like thin) I just know how devastated I was when our cat (February - beautiful white cat w/ blue eyes) ran away - and she was a stray we'd only had for a couple of weeks. She came back, injured, they took her to the SPCA and fixed her up and adopted her out...atleast that's the story they TOLD me at the time. Anyhow, I think that's just heartbreaking, I don't think I would've handled it as well as you did then or now. You're a strong girl. I'm really glad you're away from her, for the most part, and that your other Grandmother is so good to you. I'm guessing 'Grandma Nice' lives here. I'm glad she is so loving to you, but that still has to hurt. I think you are pretty remarkable.

 

The feminine issues are awful. When I was in school and waitressing it was terrible. I would often miss a few days of school each month and waitressing with those issues was just bad. I worked with mostly guys, several were friends around my age, one who I was just completely in love with, so I really didn't want to let them know what's was going on. I really was concerned about what would happen once I had to start working full time, it's hard to take that time off monthly. Thankfully, things changed and became much more manageable/livable. Hopefully that will happen to you too. I'm not sure how old you are but often sometime in your 20's you will notice a change, so hang in there!!

 

I think I remember you saying in an earlier post that you were still learning English, is that true/was that you? If so, you are doing remarkably well. You should be very proud of yourself. I'm sure your family must be proud of you too, Grandma Nice surely is and Grandma NOTnice probably is too. Do you mind if I ask how long you've been here? Do you like it here/miss home? I always wonder what the USA is like for new people. I hope you like it here. Hope you have a great day. :smileyhappy:

beautytester

Re: 3 more weeks

[ Edited ]

@ kssweetheart. It was certainly devastating back then, but that was >15yrs ago and I've had much worse things happening to me after that unfortunately (fatal car crash, friend's death to name a few), so I've learned to put things in perspective and move on. I came to US ~11yrs ago and LOVES reading/movies, so my English is fine, unfortunately now I feel awkward around people from China because I can't really relate and only half understand what they say. There's definitely a big cultural shock, but considering the fact I wrote 16 slightly different version of it for college/scholarship applications years ago, I'm tired of talking about it now, sorry. From all the years of meeting different people and my good/bad experience, I've learned some life lessons. Bad things happens to the best of us, and people who seems so perfect on the outside don't lead perfect lives at all, they just learn to deal with their troubles and overcome them with determination and a smile on their face. You can't change the past, dwell on the could've or should've. Instead of wondering if the decision is right, give it your all and make it the right choice. Sometimes it is so bad you can't think of a time you are not depressed, but take it one step at a time and do what is right or what you need to do. People will notice good work and your strength, even when you feel like the world has abandoned you.

 

@ waterbaby1981 *ahem* anyways, sorry for hijacking the board. Best wishes for the cute little baby and hope you have a safe pregnancy. In the end your husband is the one you will spend your life with, not your MIL, so set rules, be firm, and let your husband know you need his support. You are strong. Be patient and good things will come your way. =)

kssweetheart

Re: 3 more weeks

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@beautytester - you really have been through a lot, you are a strong young woman. I hope you have recovered from your accident and I'm very sorry about your friend, loss is always hard, even worse at a young age. You have such a wonderful attitude and outlook, there was so much truth in your post re: moving ahead. You are so young and so wise, you've taken those tragedies and found the silver lining and allowed them to make your stronger and aware f the fact that you need to smell the roses and move and live, good for you, not everyone can do that.

 

It must be difficult feeling that separation from your 'past life' (didn't know how else to word that, hope it came out alright & makes sense) You are so cute saying 'sorry' for not wanting to go into detail about assimilating to a new culture etc. - you shouldn't feel bad at all. There will be times in your life and people in your life that you need to discuss all of that with, when that time/that person arrives, you will discuss it. Never feel bad about not wanting to go there. But your are sweet to say 'sorry'

 

Finally, your words of encouragement to waterbaby were very beautiful and well put. Kudos. Be well, hope we'll chat again. :smileyhappy:

prettyinpa

Re: 3 more weeks

@beautytester- I think you are a most courageous person, to get past a horrifying experience like that. I grew up with kids whose parents had a farm and they were told not to get too attached to the cows and pigs because they were meat animals, but all of the kids had a rabbit or pet chicken, and these were treated as pets and never eaten, even if the family wasn't well off. The family would no more eat the pet animals than eat the family dog or cat! 

 

It's good that you have a nice grandmother to balance out the bad one. 

waterbaby1981

Re: 3 more weeks

kssweetheart: again, thanks for thinking about me and the well wishes from everyone.  It makes me feel a lot better to know someone's thinking of me. 

 

Honestly, I just thought of this twenty minutes ago, but I know what my issue with my MIL is.  I don't trust her.  I can tolerate her, she's nice enough, but I don't trust her.  When we found out we were pregnant with Alyssa, we were excited.  She told the whole church.  When his brother and our SIL were pregnant the first time, she told the entire church.  They suffered a miscarriage.  (She was telling people before any of us were out of the first trimester, BTW.)

 

Their family showed up unannounced after I'd had two surgeries in three days, six blood transfusions, and had catheters in.  I wanted to sleep, rest and recover.  They didn't call or anything, just showed up.  And no, calling from your cell phone when you're already on your way over is NOT okay (she's done this frequently.  Not so much since I put my foot down on that a couple of years ago.  Don't appreciate it when it's late at night and we're in pajamas).  Neither is leaving things on our front porch when no one is home because you don't want it or assume we do.

 

We wanted a private family service when Alyssa passed away.  She told the whole church where and when, against our wishes.  My MOM wasn't happy about that either, or the unannounced visit at the hospital in November 2010.  When I mentioned it on the phone with my mom last night, she even said that was strange not to call at all and just show up, not to mention rude.

 

Our wedding in 2006?  She wanted to invite her friends. 

 

Seeing a pattern here yet? 

 

It'd be great if Dan would actually, I don't know, STAND UP to his mom and defend me here.  He doesn't.  Other than that, he's very supportive.  I just wish he'd tell his mother to back off and knock it off already.  I haven't even HAD this baby yet and I already don't want to let her babysit because she'll probably try to feed the baby whatever she wants (seriously, they don't need sweets at that age, plus obesity is an epidemic in this country, not to mention diabetes and heart disease, plus high cholesterol run in my family) and try to tell us how to raise our child, which will NOT be appreciated.

 

So, long story short?  I don't trust her.  That's the main problem.

 

And beautytester:  I cannot believe your grandma DID THAT!!!  Pet means the same in any language or country, regardless of culture.  That's horrible.  I would never speak to a family member again if they did that.  (My MIL told us to just put one of my cats down after Gizmo ate a ton of my rubber bands for my hair and needed surgery for it.  You can guess what I told her.  A pet is considered a family member in my family.  Best $2500 I ever spent, even though she now jumps on my stomach in the morning because she wants to be fed.  Never mind the fact DAN is the one feeding them and changing litter lately.)

kssweetheart

Re: 3 more weeks

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@waterbaby1981 - it really is interesting when you all of a sudden realize....aha...that's what one of the most major issues is. Trust is huge in any relationship. If you don't have that you're building on a very unstable foundation, with massive fault lines under it. That's rough, Hopefully you will have more epiphanies during this time when you're feeling stinky and can't do much. You kind of get a chance to go back into the vault and replay some old video tapes and see snippets that end up explaining and shedding a whole lot of light on things. MIL definitely has some real issues, all of that stuff is so far beyond rude. Maybe you'll think of a way to persuade hubby to address these things with her or possible communicate with her yourself, although that seems like a long-shot. Not sure she can really hear what others are saying, she's kind of wrapped up in all of the noise she is making herself, out loud and no doubt internally. I'm not sure she can help herself. It's not pretty. I'm sure it's not always easy to suck it up and be the bigger per son. I am glad you made some headway, hope you can hold onto that and maybe thing will fall into place. I really am so sorry for your loss and all you've been through. You seem like a very strong woman, you've been through an awful lot, it certainly has not been an easy road, but hopefully it will lead somewhere wonderful. Hopefully it all get's better from here. Hang in and hope we hear from you soon.

 

Hey, do you watch Ellen? I love her, she always makes me feel a lot better when I'm struggling. If you don't watch maybe she can help give you an infusion of positive energy and laughter. If you do watch...YEAH!! Woo-Hoo. Focus on Ellen. If you hate her....well than this didn't help at all, just a great big stink bomb! Then I'll have to think of something else. Other than your cat pouncing on your belly, does she help you out at all? I hope so. Love her name, loved Gremlins & sweet little Gizmo. How did yo choose her name? Does she look like him?

 

Talk to ya soon. Try to :smileyhappy:

beautytester

Re: 3 more weeks

lol, yeah. Sorry for going off topic.

 

"It'd be great if Dan would actually, I don't know, STAND UP to his mom and defend me here."

That is actually the exact complaint my mom had about my dad and his mother. I think it's just one of those things where the men grew up with a bossy/controlling mom so they just find it easier and more peaceful to let them do whatever they want and leave rather than standing up to them. Because in the end, one women raise him up to be who he is, and the other is the one who he chose to spend his life with, so it's like stuck between a rock and a hard place for him....which doesn't really help, because grandma is obviously more receptive to my dad's feedback than my mom's. The grandma on my dad side had 3 boys and no girls, the family was poor and my dad/uncle were very naughty when they were little, so she doesn't really know how to deal with daughter or granddaughters I suppose. It doesn't make me like her, but it does help me keep my temper down when I have to talk to her.

 

Oh man, I wish I know you personally so I can play with your baby. I babysitted my 4 cousins from newborn to toddler and aside from cleaning/changing diaper/poop on the floor, I've done everything else for them. I still remember when I babysit my 1st cousin before he learned how to walk. I wasn't paying attention and he fell out of bed with a loud thump on his head. I got a mild scolding from my aunt but I was mostly terrified because I was afraid he's going to be injured for life cuz of me. Anyways, turns out kids generally are pretty healthy and grow up well if you just try your best, despite the occasional explosive crying at 4am or in public. But of course, I'm speaking from a cousin/sister point of view and not as a mother.

dianabt

Re: 3 more weeks

@Beautytester OMG I can sort of feel your pain with the bunny story.. I got VERY sick when I was 13 and had to be in the hospital for a week..My pet bunny named Buster had died while I was gone. :smileysad: My dad came home and said he was laying on the carpet dead (He didn't live in a cage, but roamed the house and used a litter box like a cat). Instead of waiting and burying him..HE WRAPPED HIM IN NEWSPAPER AND THREW HIM IN THE GARBAGE CHUTE. I was devastated. Not only was I sick but my bunny got thrown into the apartment building garbage bin. ughhhh.. my dad just has different feelings and thinking about things, maybe from not growing up in the US but he has stories of having baby chicks he'd buy as a pet then his mom would cook it for dinner when it was fully grown. =/ 

 

@Kssweetheart why thank you! :smileyhappy: I know how frustrating things in life can be and I always try my best to make people feel better, whether it's with words or some makeup tips to brighten up a day. :smileyhappy: That's so kind of you to say, I really appreciate that! It helps that you lovely ladies on this board are so kind and supportive of one another! You all really make this a wonderful community. 

Luv&Lipgloss, Diana
kssweetheart

Re: 3 more weeks

@dianabt - Oh my stars. That's so wrong. Especially at such a young age. I'd like to say think of it as cremation (I hope that doesn't sound terrible...I hope not) but.... cremation or burial is a choice you should have made. You should have been able to say goodbye, have a little ceremony for Buster. It's amazing how things that happened so long ago can feel like they just happened days ago.Buster probably went to sleep and just didn't wake up, I'm sure he never knew/felt a thing. But that is amazing that he was litter box trained, how awesome was that?! I do think upbringing makes a huge difference in matters like this re your dad's actions.

 

My sister-in-law is from Poland and came here as a toddler. She has always had issues with her parents, they think, feel and act so differently. They just don't process things the same way. I wonder if  **beautytester** feels the same thing applies to her 'other' grandmother.

 

You're welcome, you really seem like a kind soul, that really comes across in your posts- even though I'm really new to this and don't really 'know' you, it just seems that way to me. Everything I've read makes me think you really are a Glass Half Full type of person who likes to give people the benefit of the doubt. I think you do make people happy and I agree that this is a great community. We Rock!!!!!

dianabt

Re: 3 more weeks

Hi waterbaby1981,

 

Oh no! I'm sorry you are feeling so badly. :smileysad: Hopefully you will be feeling better soon and able to be up and moving around a bit more. I can definitely see how a "meddling" family member can add more stress. I think the last thing you need right now and during your pregnancy (and labor!) is any stress or unnecessary problems. If you've already told Dan how you feel and that you would be much more relaxed and calm without your mother in law there then I think its perfectly fine and okay if you don't have her in the delivery room. It's your child and body so you can do what you want! :smileyhappy: She needs to have some sort of boundary if it is that upsetting and aggravating to you! Definitely have the nurses block calls, or see if you can have an "outgoing only" phone line so the phone won't be ringing nonstop, but you can make calls if you need it! Hahah that's how I treat my own cell phone.. LOL.

 

I wish you lots of feeling better days and hopefully you can get some sleep! Are you allowed to drink any teas (caffeine free ones like chamomile etc.) while you are pregnant? Those usually help me to sleep better, that or a boring book.. A good book will keep me up even more when I have insomnia, but a boring one will just knock me out! Regardless, I hope things shape up and turn around for you soon! We all wish you the best!

Luv&Lipgloss, Diana
kssweetheart

Re: 3 more weeks

@dianabt - you are so sweet, your posts are always so considerate and on point. You really seem like a special gal. I think your friends must be lucky to have a friend like you. :smileyhappy:

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