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curvygirli
beauty intervention-please help me

Okay I am in need of a beauty intervention. Seriously..

 

I am 25 years old and I sound like I am very young, I am short, and I can be mistaken for a lot younger. When I go out, I have on lotion, the earring studs I've worn all my life and yeah that's about it for makeup and jewelry.. And obiviously clothes and shoes, etc

This is if I have to go get groceries, library, errands alone or with family, church, doctor's office, gym, you get the idea. If I'm with friends and it's one of the above casual things, I put on some eyeliner and maybe lipgloss ( sheer)-but that's because my best friend wears a load of makeup and I feel naked in comparison. If I'm on a date, party, wedding-only then I will wear foundation, eyeliner, concealer, and lipstick and maybe a bracalet.

 

When I have all of my makeup on I look a lot better- even not as bad I would say. My friends and family, and some guys say I am pretty but I don't believe it, anyways.. When I have on my usual get up- I feel ugly and I know that I look like I rolled out of bed- clean but no effort. My friends have never said anything but when I do wear it all-they do give me compliments.

 

My family is very strict and my mom always mentions how makeup is bad for you and fashion is corrupting. I have grown up hearing this so I am hesitant to do alot of these things to be honest with you because that concept sticks in my mind- I don't believe it but it makes a difference. I never bought foundation or concealer til last year actually. I walked around for years thinking all these girls around me had flawless faces lol.

 

The reason I don't wear makeup when I go out in general is because it isn't a special occasion and I feel like I will waste the makeup then. I never layer mascara,eyeliner, I avoid wearing eyeshadow-but I love buying it. I actually feel physically like I'm wearing a hot sweaty mask if I have foundation on and I keep dreaming of the time I get to go home and wash it off, and then I feel really **bleep** about the amount I "wasted" when I see it on my wipes.When I wear foundation I am so paranoid about it rubbing off and wasting that I avoid certain things like lying down, leaning on my hands, and anything white.I don't wear primer often because I think that it will just clog my pores, and I avoid mascara most of the time because I worry that it will rip out my eyelashes when I remove it.  I rarely wear jewelry because I feel weighed down and that I look too extra.

 

I literally have all of my makeup- I have NEVER ran out of a single thing. I am 25 years old and I still have in perfect condition the first eyeshadow I bought at 14. It's been used a few times, very little at each time because I didn't want to waste it. When I buy a product.. it takes me months of reviewing it and debating, and sometimes I end up returning it because I am scared I won't end up using it.

 

The other thing is I never know when the appropriate time to wear makeup is, and how much.The things mentioned above- which ones would you wear makeup for? My best friend wears daily : primer,foundation,concealer, powder, eyeshadow, eyeliner,mascara and lipgloss. She reapplies during the day and keeps it on her. I think she is extreme and doesn't need to be fully put together to do groceries. But then I realize she looks good ALL the time and never has a bad day in public because of this and I look like crap usually. Is my best friend right to wear all this? I always say "what's the point, I will be back in a few hours" or " i'm not impressing anyone there ".

 

If you leave the house for an errand do you wear make up? Which ones specifically, how much? Ie- eyeshadow, (one or two?)

 

 

How do YOU judge when to wear makeup, when it's pointless to put it on, and how much to put on?

Okay as I type this I realize I might have OCD. At first when I was typing this I thought I would just say I'm lazy, but now that I type out my reasons, I'm shocked there are so many.

 

can someone help me with this mentality?! Anyone else feel this way?

 

I am actually worried about this because my own mother has started telling me to look better when I go out. Yes she is naturally that blunt but I'm shocked since she is really strict about makeup. At the moment I am studying from home so that is also  a reason I get lazy to dress up when I go out. I just came back from a family vacation on a cruise. All of the pictures- I look disgusting. No makeup, no hair done, and I realize I look dead tired. Sure, I wear makeup on a date but if I look like crap in general-how do I even get the guys attention?

 

 

I know this is a very long post- a general opinion or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you :smileyhappy: so much

 

 

Another thing is hair: I try to wash it 2-3x a week. I'm worried more than that will make it fall out and I will ruin it. Since I am home during the day, I leave it up in a bun and because of that it is frizzy/wavy afterwards. So if I have to go out it goes up in that bun again. I work out daily and I feel like there is no point to style it if it will get frizzy from working out.I  only straighten it lately if it's a party, special occasion or someone I'm crushing on is around lol.

If I heat protect it, flat iron it twice a week ( straighten it or end up curling it) - is my hair still safe?

I know there are styles I can do without adding heat, and I do those if a last minute occasion comes up - french braid it, tie it up, etc.

 

 

I'm just depressed because looking back at when I was 18- I only wore eyeliner and straightened my hair every few days- I looked MUCH better than I do now.

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Answers: 2
mightyclassy07
Answered

First off, I am sorry you are having this issue at all and this doesn't sound like OCD, not that I'm an expert mind you.  Rather it sounds like you're having a little trouble in the old confidence department and beauty products are the catalyst.  We've all had the Ugly Duckling syndrome from time to time, believe me.  Makeup, hair products, jewelry, etc, is all designed to make us FEEL like we look better, to add confidence.  That being said, your friend isn't "wrong" for wearing makeup to get groceries or anywhere for that matter but neither are you for not wearing it.  It's all personal preference.

Something to help with your an anxiety might be to simply find the right makeup, something that makes you feel beautiful and natural, without being too complicated, feeling heavy or wasteful.  If you are using liquid foundation, esp. a full coverage, that could be part of the reason for the heavy feeling.  Living in a more humid climate would also add to this.  So I'll recommend, as a firm believer and 5+ year user myself, Bare Escentuals Mineral Foundation and Mineral Veil!  You should have a professional find the right shade for you at a Sephora, Ulta or Bare Escentuals counter and I would use a light moisterizer in place of their primer since I find to be kind of oily.  And this should hopefully help you with some of your feelings of wastefulness since a little goes a long way.

On a related note, might wanna throw away some of the makeup you've had for many years, at least the liquids.  You wouldn't keep expired food around because it's no longer healthy to consume.  The same principle applies to makeup generally.  In fact, you very well may have wasted a great deal of makeup by simply NOT using it so it went bad...  Food for thought.

But more than this, remind yourself that your makeup is there to help you and to make you feel more beautiful, help your skin look better, define your eyes, accentuate all your features.  More than anything it should be FUN!

As far as the flat ironing, it always depends on your hair type but you should be using a heat protectant.  I just bought a new one from Chi but can't recommend it as of yet.

Hope this helps!

nightknight
Answered

Honestly, I think the best thing for you to do is to do what makes you happy and only you. You don't need to wear makeup to impress anyone. But if you enjoy it, then do it for yourself. I don't wear a lot of make up either, although I love the stuff. I only wear it when I want to do something new, a new style or look. Just something to get my creative juices going.

 

And I know this is probably going to sound like it came straight out of a teen help book, but I think it shouldn't matter if you look horrible in the pictures. Are you having a good time? It's the memory of the photo that should inspire you, not how you look. I have tons of picture where I look disgusting, but guess what? I had a darn good time! And that's what I remember the most, the fun I had and the time I spent doing so.

 

I'm sure you're a lovely young woman, don't forget that you are. Do what makes you happy. 

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