I have the same type of skin, hair color and eye color. I have trouble with smokey eyes as well, because you don't want to look all beat up once you've done it all up.
I used these tutorials to help me out:
I know they are dark colors she uses and her skin color is different, but I tried those exact same colors and you just use the amount that works best for you! And you blend it well enough so that it suits you....
When I used her techniques, mine turned out really really good! Just like hers and once you play around with different colors you get the hang of which colors blend really well and how you want the smokey eye to look.
For instance, the other day I used a sort of sparkly black at the corner of my eye (just like in the video listed above) and then used two different colors of purple a dark one and a light one. Blended those together with the black. Then I took the same black and brushed it underneath my eyes (not ON the waterline) but beneath that...and then underneath that I used a thinner makeup brush to apply the dark purple so I had a black/purplish smokey eye. And it looked awsome even though I had medium skin etc etc...
If you do try these ideas, let me know how it works.
Hope this helped!!!!
I think if you went for a warmer color that isn't black, it would look fantastic and not overboard at all!
Here's one of favorite tutorials by makeup artist Nic Chapman on how to do a really gorgeous brown smoky eye:
Urban Decay's Black Palette would be a great palette for you to use because it contains six black-based eyeshadows and some other goodies, too. The black-based eyeshadows work great for smoky eyes using the black-based colors in the palette such as purple, blue, golden or green. You can find the palette on Sephora's website at: http://sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P272318
However, you don't have to buy that palette to do a smoky eye in a different shade beside gray. Just do your regular smoky eye and replace the blacks and grays with purples or browns and golds.
I hope this helps you.