I think your skin starts out dry and flaky then turns oily because you are over-washing, thereby stripping your skin and aggravating it. If your face feels tight after cleansing, your cleanser might be the culprit as well. And your moisturizer might not be a good fit for your skin. Even though you get oily layer on the day, your moisturizer might not be thick enough to keep your face moist, causing your skin to overcompensate and produce way too much oil. Your skin is going to have different needs depending on the season. And different parts of your face might have different needs. For example, my forehead right above my eyebrows and my nose are oily while the rest of my face is dry, so I use a different moisturizer on those areas from the rest of my face. I have also noticed that my skin tends to be oilier when I am PMS-ing, as hormones also affect our skin. A huge part of skin care is listening to your skin for what it is asking for.
Right now your skin sounds angry and irritated. Perhaps you might want to stop exfoliating and skip the makeup to give your skin a break so the irritation goes away then slowly adding products back into your regimen.
I love Philosophy's Purity cleanser a whole lot. It is gentle, but has enough oomph to remove 95% of my makeup but my skin doesn't feel tight after cleansing. I have very sensitive skin, and it hasn't irritated my skin. And when my skin is aggravated for whatever reason, I wash my face with oatmeal: dampen a hand full of oats (like Quaker Oats) and rub it all over my face (over a garbage can as it can get a bit messy) then rinse it off, pat dry and apply moisturizer. I wouldn't recommend the oatmeal wash if your are wearing makeup, since it is not going to get rid of any makeup.
You might want to look into a heavier moisturizer like Shiseido's Bio-Performance Advanced Super Revitalizer Cream Whitening. Or Josie Maran's Argan Oil; don't be afraid of oils! You might need a minute or two to allow it to soak in before apply makeup. As for your oily spots, you might want to use a mattifier like Murad's Oil Control Mattifier instead of whatever you are using on the rest of your face.
You might also want to add a weekly mask into your skincare regimen to treat different parts of your face: like Origin's Charcoal Mask for the acne-prone and oily areas, and Boscia's Moisture Pack for your dry and flaky areas.
Spot-treat... you get the idea.
As for foundation, have you looked into Smashbox's Halo? It's a mineral powder makeup that is not drying. Oils do show up mid-afternoon on my forehead and break up the foundation on me. I usually blot with blotting papers, then touch-up with the Halo with good results.
I have used MUFE's HD Foundation, but I use MAC's Mineralized Finish Natural to set up and touch up during the day. And I haven't had the cakey problem.
I hope this helps. Good luck!
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