butterblume

Beauty Rehab

So my poor husband has been having apoplectic fits every time a package arrives for me (and these days I am getting a package more or less every day). Today he said to me, "You have a problem!"

 

I said, "I do not!"

 

He said, "Yes you do, you don't need all of this stuff!"

 

I said, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I NEED THIS STUFF"

 

He said, "You need a 12 step program is what you need."

 

So then I started thinking about what a Beauty Rehab centre would be like. I imagine when you got there, you'd have to give up all your beauty and make up products, and they'd search you, and there'd be one or two desperate girls hiding a lipstick in their bra, a lip liner tucked into their waistbands.

 

And you'd have to go BARE FACED every day and you could only wash with SOAP (probably dial soap too).

 

And there'd probably be some sort of black market system in place, where you could maybe bribe the warden to smuggle you in some chap stick - and maybe some TINTED LIP BALM, but that'll cost you.

 

You have to be careful though. If somebody notices your lips looking more moisturized and colorful than usual you might get snitched on. And they'll have to rip that lip balm out of your hands while you kick and scream and consign them all to the 7th circle of heck, all the while screaming about how you don't have a problem...

 

What would be your idea of Beauty Rehab? :smileyvery-happy:

butterblume

Re: Beauty Rehab

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glossyguru

Re: Beauty Rehab

haha!

jojobe

Re: Beauty Rehab

BTW up above when he said you did not NEED all of this stuff....your are right...WE NEED MORE>......

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bfuller

Re: Beauty Rehab

Hahahahahaha!  Uhm, wait a minute... I'm in this group!!  :smileysurprised:

warriorwitch

Re: Beauty Rehab

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I think Mr. Izzard should be a mascot, cause he has "fantastic makeup"... and guns. :smileywink: (Extra hearts for those who remember this joke.)

ShinyMagpie

Re: Beauty Rehab

(0) Hearts

Love him!!!

 

It's between him and Old Gregg for me. :smileyhappy:

 

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JustACostume

Re: Beauty Rehab

Oh god my father dresses up as old gregg for conventions.Old Greggs makeup is perfect.

comfyrock

Re: Beauty Rehab

That screenshot's from his bit where he used to hide his makeup stash in a squirrel hole in a tree.  Perfect for rehab rebels!

warriorwitch

Re: Beauty Rehab

Yessssssss! I wanna buy you a drink, or maybe an eyeshadow. Hahaha. :smileyvery-happy:

HelloCoffee

Re: Beauty Rehab

A great shot indeed!!!!!!

HelloCoffee

Re: Beauty Rehab

LOL  he looks like a make-up obsessed Gollum here…"my precioussssssss"

bfuller

Re: Beauty Rehab

Ahhh... Dressed to Kill!

killahbabe

Re: Beauty Rehab

I LOVE Eddie Izzard! "Uh... do you like... bread? Gotta French loaf right here." *Bonk

HelloCoffee

Re: Beauty Rehab

"cake or death"? lol

killahbabe

Re: Beauty Rehab

"Uh, cake please."

"Well, we're out of cake! We only had three bits and we didn't expect such a rush. So what do you want?"

"Well, so my choice is 'or death’? I’ll have the chicken then, please."

m3rma1d

Re: Beauty Rehab

[ Edited ]

When Paris Hilton wet to jail, some fake-news show did a report on what chicks in the clink use as makeup. Kool-Aid powder with Vaseline for lipstick, Cheeto powder as eyeshadow.... So anyways, I'll meet you all there and I'll bring the Kool-Aid and Cheetos! If you wanna hit up my stash, just look for me--I'll be the one walking around pinching my cheeks for blush hahahaha

 

Edited to add:

Oh yay, that fake-news story was on The Soup and here's what my boyfriend Joel McHale had to say about it:

cheetos.jpg

 

HelloCoffee

Re: Beauty Rehab

LOVE Joel McHale and The Soup!

WhereYouStand

Re: Beauty Rehab

[ Edited ]

Make a break for it!!! 

 

no need for a license and registration for speeding see excuse below!

 

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and tell your parole officer your reason you skipped town 

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and last but not least folks I tell you not to worry because...

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wingatprsct

Re: Beauty Rehab

I was laughing out load in tears at you guys and my husband asked what was so funny. I told him about the Beauty Rehab Center and he looked at me seriously and asked, " How long do you have to stay til you're cured?"  He thought I was serious!!!!!! Like they're really is such a place!  I better watch him close. I think he's got it in for me! I've got to get a PO Box quick.

calamityjane85

Re: Beauty Rehab

*radio static* 

Copy that- we have a potential. Montior husband. 

10-4

wingatprsct

Re: Beauty Rehab

[ Edited ]

Thanks calamityjane! We can all sleep better knowing you're own guard!

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