lovebaking123

100 Thoughts At Sephora

[ Edited ]

I saw this article on BuzzFeed and I thought that it was pretty funny...

 

100 Thoughts We’ve All Had While Shopping At Sephora

 

1. Oops, I’m all out of this one specific product I use every day! Better pop into Sephora real quick.
2. Good lord, it’s bright in here.
3. And it smells…good? Weird? A lot.
4. No, ma’am, I don’t need any help today.
5. Your bright green eyeshadow sure is daring, though.
6. Actually wait I have no idea where I’m going.
7. I could have sworn that the brand I want was right over there by the entrance.
8. Maybe they’ve rearranged the store?
9. Or maybe I’m going crazy.
10. Maybe I’ve never even been here in my life.
11. Maybe all of time and space is a lie.

12. Oh word, there it is.
13. Alllllll the way at the back of the store.
14. I may as well stop and look at some other stuff while I’m on my way.
15. Ooh, this lipstick is so cute!
16. Like I’m not REALLY a lipstick person but maybe this will convert me.
17. I wish there wasn’t this curly weird hair stuck to the tester.
18. I guess that’s why Mother Nature invented rubbing alcohol.
19. Am I even applying this right?
20. Should I stick to the natural lines of my lips?
21. Ehh that looks a little thin.
22. I’ll just try going a litttttttle wider.
23. **bleep**.
24. Clown City, U.S.A., population: me.
25. Thank god there’s makeup remover.
26. That…kind of worked?
27. I can rock this crusty pinkish tinge.
28. Maybe everyone will just think it’s lip stain.
29. No, ma’am, seriously, I actually don’t need your help, the last time I was here one of your cohorts applied eyeshadow up past my forehead.
30. Onto the next row!
31. Sparkly eyeliner! Sparkly blush!
32. Sparkly hairspray?
33. Who could possibly ever need that many sparkles in their life.
34. JK IT’S ME BUYING ALL OF THIS.

35. Ugh, but now my hands are full and I didn’t grab a basket because I thought I was only going to buy one thing.
36. I’ll just casually walk back up to the front of the store.
37. **bleep** dropped the hairspray.
38. Why are you jerks staring at me like that?
39. Like YOU’VE never dropped anything before, Perfect-Hair Susie.
40. Like YOU’RE so perfect, Winged-Eyeliner Sally.
41. OK reached the baskets, at long last.
42. WAIT NO WHY IS THE ALARM SOUNDING I’M LITERALLY 5 FEET AWAY.
43. I’VE NEVER STOLEN ANYTHING IN MY LIFE, NOT EVEN THOSE JUNIOR MINTS FROM 7-ELEVEN EVEN THOUGH THE EIGHTH-GRADE BULLY TOLD ME I WAS A NERD IF I DIDN’T DO IT.
44. Phew, that’s over.
45. Dumping this crap in the basket.
46. Back to my browsing mission.
47. On a scale from 1 to 10, how on point is my eyebrow game?
48. What I’m asking is should I spend half a day’s pay on something called “eyebrow gel.”
49. If I don’t, chances are my unruly brows will cause me to miss out on professional, social, and romantic success of all varieties.
50. Better be on the safe side, into the basket with you.
51. Ooh, perfume! Glittering like an effervescent wall of promise!
52. MA’AM, DO NOT SPRITZ ME, SERIOUSLY DO NOT.
53. That one has such a charming bottle!
54. Just gonna try a tiny spray.
55. Oh cool, now I smell like floral baby garbage.
56. Maybe this other one will mask the stench?
57. Nope, patchouli barf.
58. I’ll be fine as long as nobody comes within 10 yards of me for the rest of the day.
59. Wait, did that girl just apply a tester mascara directly to her eyelashes? Welcome to Stye Town.
60. I should just cut my losses and head for the checkout.
61. But NOT BEFORE I THROW THIS ADORABLY TEENY HAND LOTION IN MY BASKET.

62. Man, this line is long.
63. There seem to be five checkout people and only one is actually interacting with customers.
64. Oh well, I can entertain myself. There are so many sample-sized products to play with right here!
65. And they’re only like 10 bucks each! That’s practically free!
66. I’ll take four.
67. Come on, lady, it’s your turn to go.
68. Like you’re at the front of the line.
69. And there’s an open register.
70. The cashier is literally beckoning to you.
71. Just WALK.
72. OK, if you won’t, I wi—
73. OMG SORRY I DID NOT MEAN TO OFFEND YOU WITH MY PHYSICAL SELF YOU JUST SEEMED LIKE MAYBE YOU WERE DEAD.
74. Breathe.
75. OK, finally my turn.
76. Dammit, forgot my VIB card.
77. Maybe try this email address?
78. No? How about my mom’s home phone number?
79. I have HOW MANY Beauty Insider points?!?
80. I mean on the one hand, cool, more free samples for me.
81. On the other hand, how “free” are these samples if I had to spend THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS to get them?
82. Whatever, totally taking the 500-point set.
83. All those little shampoos and face washes and mascaras will come in handy during my glamorous world travels.
84. (Or I’ll use each of them once and then forget them at the gym.)
85. (Or they’ll get impossibly crusty within minutes.)

86. OK, moment of truth: How much do I owe?
87. Hahahahahhahahahahahah.
88. Oh.
89. Um.
90. OK.
91. I don’t really…I mean….math?
92. Ah. Right. That one thing was secretly $65.
93. Oh yeah and that other thing was even more, not even saying how much even to myself in my own brain.
94. It’s too late to put something back now.
95. And, like, I NEED this stuff.
96. I need to become the person I deserve to be!
97. And look how pretty it all looks in that lovely red tissue paper.
98. I’ll figure out how to pay rent some other way.
99. But wait a sec.
100. I totally forgot what I came here to buy.

 

If you want to see the article for its self, I'm sure you could just type the title into Google.

 

Anyways, hope you find it as entertaining as I did. :smileyhappy:

AllyKatVA

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

That author has clearly been following me and reading my mind.

 

So why didn't she remind me what I came in to buy?

 

Rude. :smileywink:

etscore1

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

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I had just as much fun re-reading this today as I did when I first read it yesterday. :smileyvery-happy:

knuevekm

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

OMG #59! I died laughing when I read that one, because this weekend I saw a lady use the tester to apply eyeliner and I started ranting to my boyfriend about how she is going to get an eye infection...

Makeupinfinity

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

hahah I really enjoyed this.

 

96. I need to become the person I deserve to be!

 

love this line

serioustree

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

Lol. This is why I have a love hate relationship with sephora.

SailorStacy

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

This is me!!  Only online!  I have so much stuff I don't even know I have.  I end up giving a lot to the Salvation Army for the thrift store.  I figure there are plenty of people out there who aren't as lucky as me, and don't have the means to buy a higher end product.  Do you guys get like that?? I could open a store with the sheer amount of make up and skin care I have.

pinklissamel

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

That is too hilarious note to self if you burst out laughing at midnight in a quiet room with 4 other people minding their own business expect to get weird WTF looks. No i'm not crazy people read the article!!!! LOVE THIS thank you!!!!

melissaleah

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

ahahah!!! omg i'm crying...this is too funny!!! Especially when I drag my husband into sephora with me for an hour of makeup fun & I'm likely to say most of these things to him :smileyvery-happy: He just laughs and shakes his head as I hop around the store :smileyvery-happy:
94. It’s too late to put something back now.
95. And, like, I NEED this stuff.  "Yes I'm only buying essentials...." :smileywink: :smileywink: 

crayzeeRN

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

Additionally, while we're talking about first world problems- I am currently going stir-crazy waiting for my Boscia mask to dry so I can peel it off because I am serious HUNGRY right now!

 

 

melissaleah

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

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 omg me too, I've been waiting for my nails to dry!!

annec322

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

Love this!  Thanks for sharing!

crayzeeRN

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

Hahahahah this just made my day.

 

Whenever I want the SA's to leave me alone, there's always one asking me if I need help every 2 minutes. When I actually DO need help, they all do the shifty eyes and run away or talk to their coworker.

CuriousCannibal

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

8. Maybe they’ve rearranged the store?
9. Or maybe I’m going crazy.
10. Maybe I’ve never even been here in my life.
11. Maybe all of time and space is a lie.
12. Oh word, there it is.

 

This is how I felt when I was looking for Becca's products on sunday (which was replaced by Bobbi Brown at my store...simultaneously happy and sad about that. I wanted both!)

sn22

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

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I popped in looking for Bobbi Brown stuff today and the only thing they carried was the gel liner :smileysad:

redwagon44

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

"33. Who could possibly ever need that many sparkles in their life.

34. JK IT'S ME BUYING ALL OF THIS"

 

 

Hahahaha,  dying at this. I can never resist sparkly things despite rarely wearing sparkles. It's like my inner 8 year old takes over.

lovebaking123

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

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34 was my favourite line out of all of it. I can completely relate to it.

mommyto4

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

LOL this was really good and sadly accurate.  I was numbers 6-13 on Sunday.  I kept wondering if the SA's were going to kick me out.  I had my iPhone in one hand looking at my loves list and basket in the other.  I must have lapped the store in a frenzy 6 times.  Finally after I found everything I was searching for I lapped the store 2 more times just to make sure there was nothing else I wanted to add.  I have a bad habit of wanting to be the first person in when stores open in the morning.  I always get it in my head that EVERYONE else shopping that day wants the exact same things as me.  I would love to see a video of myself shopping.  I imagine myself looking like a paranoid squirrel collecting nuts.

squirrel.jpg

hydee77

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

47-49 was me online today contemplating whether or not I should put the Marc Jacobs brow gel in my basket! lol

evno

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

The article forgot, "Ooh, new skincare! Maybe one is secretly made of unicorn poop. Maybe not. But according to the bottle, it'll make me as flawless as an angel! Wait, that one says that, too. And that one. Ooh, they feel nice! I'll just... grab them all?"

gogreyhound

Re: 100 Thoughts At Sephora

This is so funny, and so true!! it is like a carnival...  mostly when I go in, I feel overwhelmed. and I can't concentrate on one thing, because I want to look at everything, all at one time...so I will be like  "squirrel!" and bounce from one thing to another...and then try to talk myself out of buying anything...

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